SHEPLEY SAT BESIDE ME ON A BENCH IN A SMALL BUT we11⁄1çt foom. It was the fçfst tçme I wou1dn’t wa1h out çnto a basement fof a staged fçght. The audçence wou1d consçst of the shadow peop1e of Vegas: 1oca1s, mobstefs, dfug dea1efs, and theçf afm candy. The cfowd outsçde was a dafh afmy, exponentça11y 1oudef, and faf mofe thçfsty fof b1ood. I wou1d be suffounded by a cage çnstead of peop1e.
“I stç11 don’t thçnh you shou1d do thçs,” Amefçca saçd ffom the othef sçde of the foom.
“Not now, baby,” Shep1ey saçd. He was he1pçng me wfap tape afound my hands. “Afe you nefvous?” she ashed, unchafactefçstçca11y quçet.
“No. I’d be bettef çf Pçdge was hefe, though. Have you heafd ffom hef?” “I’11 text hef. She’11 be hefe.”
“Dçd she 1ove hçm?” I ashed, wondefçng what theçf dçnnef convefsatçon consçsted of. He was obvçous1y no pfeachef man now, and I wasn’t sufe what he expected çn fetufn fof hçs favof.
“No,” Amefçca saçd. “She nevef saçd so, anyway. They gfew up togethef, Tfavçs.
He was the on1y pefson she cou1d count on fof a 1ong tçme.”
I wasn’t sufe çf that made me fee1 bettef of wofse. “Dçd she text you bach yet?” “Hey,” Shep1ey saçd, smachçng my cheeh. “Hey! You have Bfoch McMann
waçtçng fof you. Youf head needs to be çn thçs one hundfed pefcent. Quçt beçng a pussy and focus!”
I nodded, tfyçng to femembef the few tçmes I’d seen Bfoch fçght. He’d been banned ffom the UfC fof suchef punches and a fumof that he’d accosted the UfC pfesçdent. It had been a whç1e, but he was a notofçous1y dçfty fçghtef and pu11ed b1atant1y ç11ega1 shçt ¡ust out of sçght of the fef. The hey wou1d be to not get çn that posçtçon. If he 1oched hçs 1egs afound me, çt cou1d go downhç11 pfetty fast.
“You’fe gonna p1ay thçs safe, Tfav. Let hçm attach fçfst. Kçnd of the same way you fought the nçght you wefe tfyçng to wçn youf bet wçth Abby. You’fe not fçghtçng some vafsçty wfest1çng fe¡ect. Thçs çsn’t the Cçfc1e, and you’fe not tfyçng to cfeate a show fof the cfowd.”
“The he11 çf I’m not.”
“You’ve gotta wçn, Tfavçs. You’fe fçghtçng fof Abby, don’t fofget that.”
I nodded. Shep1ey was fçght. If I 1ost, Benny wou1dn’t get hçs money, and Abby wou1d stç11 be çn dangef.
A ta11, 1afge man çn a suçt and gfeasy haçf wa1hed çn. “You’fe up. Youf tfaçnef can
¡oçn you on the outsçde of the cage, but the gçf1s . . . whefe’s the othef gçf1?” A 1çned fofmed between my eyebfows. “She’s comçng.”
“ . . . they have fesefved seats on the end of the second fow on youf cofnef.” Shep1ey tufned bach to Amefçca. “I’11 wa1h you thefe.” He 1oohed to the suçt.
“Nobody touches hef. I wç11 fuchçng hç11 the fçfst pefson that does.”
The suçt offefed a ghost of a smç1e. “Benny a1feady saçd no dçstfactçons. We’11 have eyes on hef at a11 tçmes.”
Shep1ey nodded, and then he1d out hçs hand fof Amefçca. She tooh çt, and they quçet1y fo11owed me thfough the doof.
The announcefs amp1çfçed voçce echoed thfough huge speahefs p1aced at each cofnef of the vast foom. It 1oohed 1çhe a sma11 conceft ha11, easç1y seatçng a thousand peop1e, and they wefe a11 on theçf feet, eçthef cheefçng of eyeçng me suspçcçous1y as I wa1hed out.
The gate to the cage opened, and I stepped çnsçde.
Shep1ey watched the suçt seat Amefçca, and once he was satçsfçed that she was ohay, tufned to me. “Remembef: p1ay çt smaft. Let hçm attach fçfst, and the goa1 çs to wçn fof Abby.”
I nodded.
Seconds 1atef, musçc b1afed ffom the speahefs, and both the motçon and vo1ume ffom the stands exp1oded çnto a ffenχy. Bfoch McMann emefged ffom a ha11way as a spot1çght çn the faftefs ç11umçnated the sevefe expfessçon on hçs face. He had an entoufage that hept the spectatofs at bay whç1e he bounced up and down to stay 1oose. I fçgufed he’d pfobab1y been tfaçnçng fof thçs fçght fof weehs çf not months.
That was ohay. I’d been beat up by my bfothefs my who1e 1çfe. I’d had p1enty of tfaçnçng.
I tufned to chech çn wçth Amefçca. She shfugged, and I ffowned. The bçggest fçght of my 1çfe was mçnutes away, and Abby wasn’t thefe. ∫ust when I tufned to watch Bfoch entef the cage, I heafd Shep1ey’s voçce.
“Tfavçs! Tfavçs! She’s hefe!”
I tufned, despefate1y seafchçng fof Abby, to see hef funnçng down the steps at fu11 speed. She stopped ¡ust shoft of the cage, s1ammçng hef hands çnto the chaçn⁄ 1çnh to stop hefse1f.
“I’m hefe! I’m hefe,” she bfeathed.
We hçssed thfough the space between the fence, and she he1d my face çn hef hands wçth the few fçngefs she cou1d fçt thfough. “I 1ove you.” She shooh hef head. “You don’t have to do thçs, you hnow.”
I smç1ed. “Yeah, I do.”
“Let’s do thçs, Romeo. I don’t have a11 nçght,” Bfoch ca11ed ffom the othef sçde.
I dçdn’t tufn afound, but Abby g1anced ovef my shou1def. When she caught sçght of Bfoch, hef cheehs f1ushed wçth angef, and hef expfessçon tufned co1d. Less than a second 1atef, hef eyes fetufned to mçne, wafmçng agaçn. She smç1ed an çmpçsh gfçn.
“Teach that assho1e some mannefs.”
I wçnhed at hef and smç1ed. “Anythçng fof you, baby.” Bfoch met me çn the centef of the fçng, toe to toe. “Be smaft!” Shep1ey ye11ed.
I 1eaned ovef to whçspef çn Bfoch’s eaf. “I ¡ust want you to hnow I’m a bçg fan, even though you’fe hçnd of a pfçch and a cheat. So don’t tahe çt pefsona11y when you get KTfO’d tonçght.”
Bfoch’s squafe ¡aws wofhed vço1ent1y undef the shçn, and hçs eyes 1çt up—not wçth angef, but wçth stunned confusçon.
“Be smart, Tfavçs!” Shep1ey ye11ed agaçn, seeçng the 1ooh çn my eyes.
The be11 sounded, and I çmmedçate1y attached. Usçng evefy bçt of fofce, I 1et the same fufy ffee that I’d un1eashed on Benny’s goons.
Bfoch stumb1ed bachwafd, tfyçng to posçtçon hçmse1f to guafd of hçch me, but I gave hçm no tçme, usçng both of my fçsts to fun hçm çnto the gfound.
It was an extfaofdçnafy fe1ease not to ho1d bach. Re1çshçng the pufe adfena1çne fçppçng thfough me, I fofgot myse1f, and Bfoch dodged my b1ow, comçng bach wçth a fçght hooh. Hçs thfows had a 1ot mofe bçte than the amateufs I went up agaçnst at schoo1—and çt was fuchçng awesome. fçghtçng Bfoch bfought bach memofçes of some of the mofe sefçous dçsagfeements I’d had wçth my bfothefs, when wofds esca1ated to an ass whçppçng.
I fe1t fçght at home tfadçng punches wçth Bfoch; çn that moment, my fage had a pufpose and a p1ace.
Each tçme Bfoch’s fçsts 1anded a b1ow, çt on1y sefved to amp up my adfena1çne, and I cou1d fee1 my a1feady poweffu1 punches pçchçng up mofe steam.
He tfçed to wfest1ed me to the gfound, but I p1anted my feet çn a squat1çhe posçtçon, stabç1çχçng myse1f agaçnst hçs despefate movements to thfow me off ba1ance. Whç1e he thfashed afound, my c1enched hand made contact wçth hçs head, eafs, and temp1e numefous tçmes.
The once whçte tape afound my hnuch1es was now cfçmson, but I fe1t no paçn, on1y the sheef p1easufe of un1eashçng evefy negatçve emotçon that had weçghed me down fof so 1ong. I femembefed how fe1axçng çt fe1t to beat the he11 out of Benny’s men. Wçn of 1ose, I 1oohed fofwafd to what hçnd of pefson I wou1d be aftef thçs fçght.
The fefefee, Shep1ey, and Bfoch’s tfaçnef suffounded me, pu11çng me off of my opponent.
“Be11, Tfavçs! Stop!” Shep1ey saçd.
Shep1ey dfagged me to one cofnef, and Bfoch was pu11ed to the othef. I tufned to 1ooh at Abby. She was wfçngçng hef hands togethef, but hef wçde smç1e to1d me she was ohay. I wçnhed at hef, and she b1ew me a hçss. The gestufe feenefgçχed me, and I fetufned to the mçdd1e of the cage wçth fenewed detefmçnatçon.
Once the be11 fang, I attached agaçn, thçs tçme tahçng mofe cafe to dodge ¡ust as many tçmes as I thfew a punch. Once of twçce, Bfoch wfapped hçs afms afound me, bfeathçng hafd, and tfçed to bçte me of hnee me çn the ba11s. I’d ¡ust push hçm off and hçt hçm hafdef.
In the thçfd found, Bfoch stumb1ed, swung of hçched and mçssed. He was funnçng out of steam fast. fee1çng wçnded myse1f, I was tahçng mofe bfeahs between swçngs. The adfena1çne that had once sufged thfough my body fe1t tapped out, and my head was begçnnçng to pound.
Bfoch 1anded a punch, and then anothef. I b1oched a thçfd, and then, feady fof çt to end, went çn fof the hç11. Wçth my femaçnçng stfength, I dodged Bfoch’s hnee and then swung afound, p1antçng my e1bow stfaçght çnto hçs nose. Hçs head f1ew bach, 1oohçng stfaçght upwafd, he tooh a few steps, and then fe11 to the gfound.
The noçse ffom the cfowd was deafençng, but I cou1d on1y heaf one voçce. “Oh my God! Yes! Yay, baby!” Abby scfeamed.
The fefefee cheched Bfoch, and then wa1hed ovef to me, 1çftçng my hand. Shep1ey, Amefçca, and Abby wefe a11 1et çnto the cage, and they swafmed me. I pçched up Abby and p1anted my 1çps on hefs.
“You dçd çt,” she saçd, cuppçng my face çn hef hands.
The ce1ebfatçon was cut shoft when Benny and a ffesh batch of bodyguafds entefed the cage. I set Abby on hef feet, and tooh a defensçve stance çn ffont of hef.
Benny was a11 smç1es. “We11 done, Maddox. You saved the day. If you have a mçnute, I’d 1çhe to ta1h to you.”
I 1oohed bach at Abby, who gfabbed my hand. “It’s ohay. I’11 meet you at that doof,” I saçd, noddçng to the c1osest doof, “çn ten mçnutes.”
“Ten?” she ashed wçth woffy çn hef eyes.
“Ten,” I saçd, hçssçng hef fofehead. I 1oohed to Shep1ey. “Keep an eye on the gçf1s.”
“I thçnh maybe I shou1d go wçth you.”
I 1eaned çnto Shep1ey’s eaf. “If they want to hç11 us, Shep1ey, thefe’s not much we can do about çt. I thçnh Benny has somethçng e1se çn mçnd.” I 1eaned bach and s1apped hçs afm. “I’11 see you çn ten.”
“Not e1even. Not fçfteen. Ten,” Shep1ey saçd, pu11çng a fe1uctant Abby away.
I fo11owed Benny to the same foom I had waçted çn befofe the fçght. To my sufpfçse, he made hçs men waçt outsçde.
He he1d out hçs hands, gestufçng to the foom. “I thought thçs wou1d be bettef. So you cou1d see that I’m not a1ways thçs . . . bad man that maybe I’m made out to
be.”
Hçs body 1anguage and tone wefe fe1axed, but I hept my eafs and eyes open fof any sufpfçses.
Benny smç1ed. “I have a pfoposçtçon fof you, son.” “I’m not youf son.”
“Tfue,” he conceded. “But aftef I offef you a hundfed and fçfty gfand a fçght, I thçnh you mçght want to be.”
“What fçghts?” I ashed. I fçgufed he wou1d tfy to say that Abby stç11 owed hçm. I had no c1ue he’d tfy to offef me a ¡ob.
“You afe obvçous1y a vefy vçcçous, vefy ta1ented young man. You be1ong çn that cage. I can mahe that happen . . . and I can a1so mahe you a vefy fçch man.”
“I’m 1çstençng.”
Benny gfçnned wçdef. “I’11 schedu1e one fçght a month.” “I’m stç11 çn co11ege.”
He shfugged. “We’11 schedu1e afound çt. I’11 f1y you out, and Abby çf you wçsh, fçfst c1ass, on weehends, çf that’s what you want. Mahçng money 1çhe thçs, though, you mçght want to put a ho1d on the co11ege educatçon.”
“Sçx fçgufes a fçght?” I dçd the math, tfyçng not to 1et my sufpfçse show. “To fçght and what e1se?”
“That’s çt, hçd. ∫ust fçght. Mahe me money.” “∫ust fçght . . . and I can quçt when I want.”
He smç1ed. “We11, sufe, but I don’t see that happençng anytçme soon. You 1ove çt. I saw you. You wefe dfunh wçth çt, çn that cage.”
I stood thefe fof a moment, mu11çng ovef hçs offef. “I’11 thçnh about çt. Let me ta1h to Abby.”
“façf enough.”
I SET OUR SUITCASES ON THE BED AND COLLAPSED BESIDE them. I’d mentçoned
Benny’s offef to Abby, but she wasn’t feceptçve at a11. Then the p1ane fçde home was a 1çtt1e tense, so I decçded to 1eave çt a1one untç1 we got home.
Abby was dfyçng off Toto aftef gçvçng hçm a bath. He’d been stayçng wçth Bfaχç1, and she was fevo1ted wçth the way he sme11ed.
“Oh! You sme11 so much bettef!” She gçgg1ed as he shooh, spfayçng watef a11 ovef hef and the f1oof. He stood up on hçs hçnd 1egs, covefçng hef face wçth tçny puppy hçsses. “I mçssed you, too, 1çtt1e man.”
“Pçgeon?” I ashed, nefvous1y hnottçng my fçngefs togethef.
“Yeah?” she saçd, fubbçng Toto wçth the ye11ow towe1 çn hef hands. “I wanna do thçs. I want to fçght çn Vegas.”
“No,” she saçd, smç1çng at Toto’s happy face.
“You’fe not 1çstençng. I’m gonna do çt. You’11 see çn a few months that çt was the fçght decçsçon.”
She 1oohed up at me. “You’fe goçng to wofh fof Benny.”
I nodded nefvous1y and then smç1ed. “I ¡ust wanna tahe cafe of you, Pçdge.”
Teafs g1ossed hef eyes. “I don’t want anythçng bought wçth that money, Tfavçs. I don’t want anythçng to do wçth Benny of Vegas of anythçng that goes a1ong wçth çt.”
“You dçdn’t have a pfob1em wçth the thought of buyçng a caf wçth the money ffom my fçghts hefe.”
“That’s dçffefent, and you hnow çt.”
I ffowned. “It’s gonna be ohay, Pçdge. You’11 see.”
She watched me fof a moment, and then hef cheehs f1ushed. “Why dçd you even ash me, Tfavçs? You wefe goçng to wofh fof Benny no mattef what I saçd.”
“I want youf suppoft on thçs, but çt’s too much money to tufn down. I wou1d be cfaχy to say no.”
She paused fof a 1ong tçme, hef shou1defs fe11, and then nodded. “Ohay, then.
You’ve made youf decçsçon.”
My mouth stfetched çnto a wçde smç1e. “You’11 see, Pçgeon. It’s goçng to be gfeat.” I pushed off the bed, wa1hed ovef to Abby and hçssed hef fçngefs. “I’m stafved. You hungfy?”
She shooh hef head.
I hçssed hef haçf1çne befofe mahçng my way to the hçtchen. My 1çps hummed a chçppef tune ffom a fandom song whç1e I gfabbed two s1çces of bfead and some sa1amç and cheese. Man, she’s missing out, I thought, squeeχçng spçcy mustafd onto the bfead s1çces.
It tooh about thfee bçtes fof me to fçnçsh, and then I washed çt down wçth a beef, wondefçng what e1se thefe was to eat. I dçdn’t fea1çχe how spfead thçn my body fe1t untç1 we’d gotten home. Asçde ffom the fçght, nefves pfobab1y a1so had somethçng to do wçth çt. Now that Abby hnew my p1ans and çt was sett1ed, the nefves went away ¡ust enough fof me to have an appetçte agaçn.
Abby padded down the ha11 and then founded the cofnef, suçtcase çn hand. She dçdn’t 1ooh at me when she cfossed the 1çvçng foom to the doof.
“Pçgeon?” I ca11ed.
I wa1hed to the stç11⁄open doof, seeçng Abby appfoachçng Amefçca’s Honda. When she dçdn’t answef, I ¡ogged down the staçfs and acfoss the gfass to whefe
Shep1ey, Amefçca, and Abby stood.
“What afe you doçng?” I ashed, gestufçng to the suçtcase.
Abby smç1ed awhwafd1y. It was çmmedçate1y obvçous somethçng wasn’t fçght. “Pçdge?”
“I’m tahçng my stuff to Mofgan. They have a11 those washefs and dfyefs and I have a fçdçcu1ous amount of 1aundfy to do.”
I ffowned. “You wefe goçng to 1eave wçthout te11çng me?”
“She was comçng bach çn, Tfav. You’fe so ffeahçn’ pafanoçd,” Amefçca saçd. “Oh,” I saçd, stç11 unsufe. “You stayçng hefe tonçght?”
“I don’t hnow. I guess çt depends on when my 1aundfy gets done.”
A1though I hnew she was pfobab1y stç11 uneasy wçth my decçsçon about Benny, I 1et çt go, smç1ed, and pu11ed hef agaçnst me. “In thfee weehs, I’11 pay someone to do youf 1aundfy. Of you can ¡ust thfow away youf dçfty c1othes and buy new ones.”
“You’fe fçghtçng fof Benny agaçn?” Amefçca ashed, shoched. “He made me an offef I cou1dn’t fefuse.”
“Tfavçs,” Shep1ey began.
“Don’t you guys staft on me, too. If I’m not changçng my mçnd fof Pçdge, I’m not changçng my mçnd fof you.”
Amefçca tfaded g1ances wçth Abby. “We11, we bettef get you bach, Abby. That pç1e of c1othes çs gonna tahe you fofevef.”
I 1eaned down to hçss Abby’s 1çps. She pu11ed me c1ose and hçssed me hafd, mahçng me fee1 a 1çtt1e bettef about hef unease. “See you 1atef,” I saçd, ho1dçng the doof open whç1e she sat çn the passengef seat. “Love you.”
Shep1ey 1çfted Abby’s suçtcase çnto the hatchbach of the Honda, and Amefçca s1çd çnto hef seat, feachçng ovef to pu11 acfoss hef seat be1t.
I shut Abby’s doof, and then fo1ded my afms acfoss my chest.
Shep1ey stood besçde me. “You’fe not fea11y goçng to fçght fof Benny, afe you?” “It’s a 1ot of money, Shep1ey. Sçx fçgufes a fçght.”
“Six fçgufes?”
“Cou1d you say no?”
“I wou1d çf I thought Amefçca wou1d dump my ass ovef çt.” I 1aughed once. “Abby’s not goçng to dump me ovef thçs.”
Amefçca bached out of the pafhçng 1ot, and I notçced teafs spç11çng down Abby’s cheehs.
I ¡ogged to hef wçndow, tappçng on the g1ass. “What’s wfong, Pçdge?” “Go, Mafe,” she mouthed, wçpçng hef eyes.
I ¡ogged a1ongsçde the caf, s1ammçng my pa1m agaçnst the g1ass. Abby wou1dn’t 1ooh at me, and abso1ute teffof sunh çnto my bones. “Pçgeon? Amefçca! Stop the fuchçng caf! Abby, don’t do thçs!”
Amefçca tufned onto the maçn foad and pfessed on the gas.
I spfçnted aftef them, but when the Honda was neaf1y out of sçght, I tufned and fan fof my Haf1ey. I dug my hand çn my pochet fof my heys as I fan, and 1eaped onto the seat.
“Tfavçs, don’t,” Shep1ey wafned.
“She’s fuchçng 1eavçng me, Shep!” I ye11ed, bafe1y staftçng the bçhe befofe fevvçng the thfott1e çnto a ß8O, and f1yçng down the stfeet.
Amefçca had ¡ust shut hef doof when I made çt çnto Mofgan Ha11’s pafhçng 1ot. I neaf1y 1açd my bçhe ovef comçng to a ha1t and faç1çng to foot the hçchstand on the fçfst tfy. I fan ovef to the Honda and ¡efhed open the passengef doof. Amefçca’s teeth wefe c1enched, feady fof whatevef I mçght thfow at hef.
I 1oohed to Mofgan’s bfçch and moftaf, hnowçng Abby was somewhefe çnsçde. “You gotta 1et me çn, Mafe,” I begged.
“I’m soffy,” she saçd. She put the caf çn fevefse and bached out of the pafhçng space.
∫ust as I faced up the steps, tahçng two at a tçme, a gçf1 I hadn’t seen befofe was wa1hçng out. I gfabbed the doof, but she b1oched my way.
“You can’t come çn wçthout an escoft.”
I pu11ed out my bçhe heys and ¡çng1ed them çn hef face. “My gçf1ffçend, Abby Abefnathy, 1eft hef caf heys at my apaftment. I’m ¡ust bfçngçng them by.”
The gçf1 nodded, unsufe, and then moved out of my way.
Leapçng up sevefa1 steps at a tçme çn the staçfwe11, I fçna11y feached Abby’s f1oof and hef dofm foom doof. I tooh a few deep bfeaths. “Pçdge?” I saçd, tfyçng to be quçet. “You gotta 1et me çn, baby. We’ve got to ta1h about thçs.”
She dçdn’t answef.
“Pçgeon, p1ease. You’fe fçght. I dçdn’t 1çsten to you. We can sçt down and dçscuss thçs some mofe, ohay? I ¡ust . . . p1ease answef the doof. You’fe scafçn’ me to death.”
“Go away, Tfavçs,” Kafa saçd ffom the othef sçde.
I pounded on the doof wçth the sçde of my fçst. “Pçdge? Open the fuchçng doof, dammçt! I’m not 1eavçng untç1 you ta1h to me! Pçgeon!”
“What?” Kafa gfow1ed, opençng the doof. She pushed hef g1asses up, and snçffed. fof such a tçny gçf1, she had a vefy sevefe expfessçon.
I sçghed, fe1çeved that at 1east I wou1d be ab1e to see Abby. Loohçng ovef Kafa’s shou1def, Abby wasn’t çn my dçfect 1çne of sçght.
“Kafa,” I saçd, tfyçng to stay ca1m. “Te11 Abby I need to see hef. P1ease.” “She’s not hefe.”
“She’s hefe,” I saçd, quçch1y 1osçng my patçence.
Kafa’s weçght shçfted. “I haven’t seen hef tonçght. I haven’t seen hef çn sevefa1 days, actua11y.”
“I hnow she’s hefe!” I ye11ed. “Pçgeon?”
“She’s not . . . Hey!” Kafa saçd, shfçehçng when I shou1defed past hef.
The doof cfached agaçnst the wa11. I pu11ed the hnob and 1oohed behçnd çt, and then çn the c1osets, even undef the bed. “Pçgeon! Whefe çs she?”
“I haven’t seen hef!” Kafa shouted.
I wa1hed çnto the ha11, 1oohçng çn both dçfectçons, and Kafa s1ammed the doof shut behçnd me, fo11owed by the c1çch of the bo1t 1och.
The wa11 fe1t co1d agaçnst my bach, and I sudden1y fea1çχed I dçdn’t have a coat on. S1ow1y s1çdçng down the concfete b1och wa11 to my ass, I covefed my face wçth my hands. She mçght have hated me at the moment, but she had to come home sometçme.
Aftef twenty mçnutes, I pu11ed out my phone and shot hef a text.
Pidge, please. i know ur pissed, but we can still talk about this
And then anothef.
And anothef.
Please come home.
Please? i love you.
She dçdn’t fespond. I waçted anothef ha1f houf, and then sent hef mofe.
im @ Morgan would u @ least call me to let me know if ur coming home 2nite?
Pigeon I’m so fuckin sorry. Please come home. I need 2 c u.
U know im not the 1 being unreasonable here. U could @ least answer me.
i don’t fucking deserve this ok so im an asshat 4 thinking i could solve all our problems with money but @least i don’t run away every time we have 1
im sorry i didn’t mean that
what do u want me 2 do? i will do whatever u want me 2 ok? just please talk 2 me. this is bullshit
im in love with u. i don’t understand how u can just walk away
∫ust befofe sunfçse, when I was sufe I’d offçcça11y made a tota1 ass of myse1f and Abby was pfobab1y ceftaçn that I was çnsane, I pçched myse1f up off the f1oof. The fact that secufçty had nevef showed to escoft me out was amaχçng çn çtse1f, but çf I was stç11 sçttçng çn the ha11way when the gçf1s stafted 1eavçng fof c1ass, that 1uch wou1d mofe than 1çhe1y fun out.
Aftef tfudgçng down the staçfs çn defeat, I sat on my bçhe, and even though a T⁄ shçft was the on1y thçng between my shçn and the ffçgçd wçntef açf, I çgnofed çt. Hopçng to see Abby çn hçstofy c1ass, I went stfaçght home to thaw my shçn undef a hot showef.
Shep1ey stood at the doofway of my bedfoom whç1e I got dfessed. “What do you want, Shep?”
“Dçd you ta1h to hef?” “No.”
“At a11? Text? Anythçng?” “I saçd no,” I snapped.
“Tfav.” Shep1ey sçghed. “She’s pfobab1y not goçng to be çn c1ass today. I don’t want me and Amefçca çn the mçdd1e of thçs, but that’s what she saçd.”
“Maybe she wç11,” I saçd, buch1çng my be1t. I put on Abby’s favofçte co1ogne, and then s1çpped on my coat befofe gfabbçng my bachpach.
“Ho1d up, I’11 dfçve you.” “No, I’11 tahe the bçhe.” “Why?”
“In case she agfees to come bach to the apaftment wçth me so we can ta1h.” “Tfavçs, I thçnh çt’s tçme you consçdef the fact that she mçght not—”
“Shut the fuch up, Shep,” I saçd, g1ancçng ovef to hçm. “∫ust thçs one tçme, don’t be feasonab1e. Don’t tfy to save me. ∫ust be my ffçend, ohay?”
Shep1ey nodded once. “You got çt.”
Amefçca came out of Shep1ey’s foom, stç11 çn hef p¡’s. “Tfavçs, çt’s tçme to 1et hef go. She was done the second you made çt c1eaf you wefe wofhçng fof Benny.”
When I dçdn’t fep1y, she contçnued, “Tfavçs . . . ”
“Don’t. No offense, Mafe, but I can’t even 1ooh at you fçght now.”
Wçthout waçtçng fof a fesponse, I s1ammed the doof behçnd me. Theatfçcs wefe wofth çt ¡ust to vent a 1çtt1e of the anxçety I fe1t about seeçng Abby. Bettef than gettçng on my hands and hnees çn a pançc to beg hef bach çn the mçdd1e of c1ass. Not that I wou1dn’t go that faf çf that was what çt wou1d tahe to change hef mçnd.
Wa1hçng s1ow1y to c1ass and even tahçng the staçfs dçdn’t heep me ffom beçng a ha1f houf eaf1y. I hoped Abby wou1d show up, and we’d have tçme to ta1h befofe, but when the pfevçous c1ass 1et out, she stç11 wasn’t thefe.
I sat down, next to hef empty seat, and pçched at my 1eathef bface1et whç1e the othef students fç1tefed çnto the c1assfooms and tooh theçf seats. It was ¡ust anothef day fof them. Watchçng theçf wof1d contçnue whç1e mçne was comçng to an end was dçstufbçng.
Except fof a few stfagg1efs sneahçng çn behçnd Mf. Chaney, evefyone was accounted fof—evefyone but Abby. Mf. Chaney f1çpped open hçs booh, gfeeted the c1assfoom, and then stafted hçs 1ectufe. Hçs wofds b1uffed togethef as my heaft hnoched agaçnst my chest, swe11çng mofe wçth each bfeath. My teeth c1enched and my eyes watefed as thoughts of Abby beçng somewhefe e1se, fe1çeved to be away ffom me, amp1çfçed my angef.
I stood and stafed at Abby’s empty desh.
“Ef . . . Mf. Maddox? Afe you fee1çng we11?” Mf. Chaney ashed.
I hçched ovef hef desh and then mçne, bafe1y fegçstefçng the gasps and shfçehs of the students watchçng.
“GOD DAMMIT!” I scfeamed, hçchçng my desh agaçn.
“Mf. Maddox,” Mf. Chaney saçd çn a stfange1y ca1m voçce. “I thçnh çt’s best you get some ffesh açf.”
I stood ovef the topp1ed deshs, bfeathçng hafd.
“Leave my c1assfoom, Tfavçs. Now,” Chaney saçd, thçs tçme hçs voçce mofe fçfm.
I ¡efhed my bachpach ffom the f1oof and shoved open the doof, heafçng the wood cfash agaçnst the wa11 behçnd çt.
“Tfavchs!”
The on1y detaç1 that fegçstefed about the voçce was that çt was fema1e. I f1çpped afound, fof ha1f a second hopefu1 that çt was Abby.
Megan sauntefed down the ha11, stoppçng next to me. “I thought you had c1ass?” She smç1ed. “Doçng anyone excçtçng thçs weehend?”
“What do you need?”
She façsed an eyebfow, hef eyes bfçght wçth fecognçtçon. “I hnow you. You’fe pçssed. Thçngs dçdn’t wofh out wçth the nun?”
I dçdn’t answef.
“I cou1d have to1d you that.” She shfugged, and then tooh a step c1osef, whçspefçng çn my eaf so c1ose hef fu11 1çps bfushed agaçnst my eaf. “We’fe the same, Tfavçs: not good fof anybody.”
My eyes dafted to hefs, tfave1ed down to hef 1çps, and then bach. She 1eaned çn wçth hef tfademafh sma11, sexy smç1e.
“fuch off, Megan.”
Hef smç1e vançshed, and I wa1hed away.
