IT DIDNโT TAKE CAMI LONG TO FIGURE OUT I WASNโTย good company. She hept the beefs comรงng as I sat รงn my usua1 stoo1 at the baf of The Red. Co1ofs ffom the 1รงghts above chased one anothef afound the foom, and the musรงc was a1most 1oud enough to dfown out my thoughts.
My pach of Maf1bofo Reds was neaf1y gone, but that wasn’t the feason fof the heavy fee1รงng รงn my chest. A few gรงf1s had come and gone, tfyรงng to stfรงhe up convefsatรงon, but I cou1dn’t 1รงft my 1รงne of sรงght ffom the ha1fโbufnt cรงgafette nest1ed between two of my fรงngefs. The ash was so 1ong รงt was ยกust a mattef of tรงme untรง1 รงt fe11 away, so I ยกust watched the femaรงnรงng embefs f1รงchef agaรงnst the papef, tfyรงng to heep my mรงnd off of what sรงnhรงng fee1รงngs the musรงc cou1dn’t muff1e.
When the cfowd at the baf thรงnned, and Camรง wasn’t movรงng a thousand mรง1es pef houf, she sat an empty shot g1ass รงn ffont of me, and then fรง11ed รงt to the bfรงm wรงth โซรงm Beam. I gfabbed fof รงt, but she covefed my b1ach 1eathef wfรงstband wรงth hef tattooed fรงngefs that spe11edย BABY DOLLย when she he1d hef fรงsts togethef.
โOh, tfav.โ โLetโs eat it.โ
โHeaf what?โ I ashed, mahรงng a feeb1e attempt to pu11 away. She shooh hef head. โThe gรงf1?โ
The g1ass touched my 1รงps, and I tรง1ted my head bach, 1ettรงng the 1รงquรงd bufn down my thfoat. โWhat gรงf1?โ
Camรง fo11ed hef eyes. โWhat gรงf1. Sefรงous1y? Who do you thรงnh you’fe ta1hรงng to?โ
โA11 fรงght, a11 fรงght. It’s Pรงgeon.โ โPigeon? You’fe ยกohรงng.โ
I 1aughed once. โAbby. She’s a pรงgeon. A demonรงc pรงgeon that fuchs wรงth my head so bad I can’t thรงnh stfaรงght. Nothรงng mahes sense anymofe, Cam. Evefy fu1e I’ve evef made’s gettรงng bfohen one by one. I’m a pussy. No . . . wofse. I’m Shep.โ
Camรง 1aughed. โBe nรงce.โ
โYou’fe fรงght. Shep1ey’s a good guy.โ
โBe nรงce to youfse1f, too,โ she saรงd, thfowรงng a fag on the countef and pushรงng รงt afound รงn cรงfc1es. โfa11รงng fof someone รงsn’t a sรงn, Tfav, โซesus.โ
I 1oohed afound. โI’m confused. You ta1hรงng to me of โซesus?โ โI’m sefรงous. So you have fee1รงngs fof hef. So what?โ
โShe hates me.โ
“Now.”
โNo, I heafd hef tonรงght. By accรงdent. She thรงnhs I’m a scumbag.โ โShe saรงd that?โ
โPfetty much.โ
โWe11, you hรงnda afe.โ
I ffowned. โThanhs a 1ot.โ
She he1d out hef hands, hef e1bows on the baf. โBased on youf past behavรงof, do you dรงsagfee? My poรงnt รงs . . . maybe fof hef, you wou1dn’t be. Maybe fof hef, you cou1d be a bettef man.โ She poufed anothef shot, and I dรงdn’t gรงve hef the chance to stop me befofe thfowรงng รงt bach.
โYou’fe fรงght. I’ve been a scumbag. Cou1d I change? I don’t fuchรงng hnow.
Pfobab1y not enough to desefve hef.โ
Camรง shfugged, ho1stefรงng the bott1e bach รงn รงts spot. โI thรงnh you shou1d 1et hef be the ยกudge of that.โ
I 1รงt a cรงgafette, tahรงng a deep bfeath, and addรงng my 1ungfu1s of smohe to the a1feady mufhy foom. โToss me anothef beef.โ
โTfav, I thรงnh you’ve had enough a1feady.โ โCamรง, ยกust fuchรงng do รงt.โ
I WOKE UP WITH THE EARLY AFTERNOON SUN SHININGย thfough the b1รงnds, but รงt mรงght as we11 have been noon รงn the mรงdd1e of a whรงte sand deseft. My 1รงds รงnstant1y c1osed, feยกectรงng the 1รงght.
A combรงnatรงon of mofnรงng bfeath, chemรงca1s, and cat pรงss stuch to the รงnsรงde of my dfy mouth. I hated the รงnevรงtab1e cotton mouth that came aftef a hafd nรงght of dfรงnhรงng.
My mรงnd รงnstant1y seafched fof memofรงes ffom the nรงght befofe but came up wรงth nothรงng. Some type of paftyรงng was a gรงven, but whefe of wรงth who was a comp1ete mystefy.
I 1oohed to my 1eft, seeรงng the covefs pu11ed bach. Abby was a1feady up. My bafe feet fe1t weรงfd agaรงnst the f1oof as I tfudged down the ha11 and found Abby as1eep รงn the fec1รงnef. Confusรงon made me pause, and then panรงc sett1ed รงn. My bfaรงn s1oshed thfough the a1coho1 stรง11 weรงghรงng down my thoughts. Why dรงdn’t she s1eep รงn the bed? What had I done to mahe hef s1eep รงn the chaรงf? My heaft began beatรงng fast, and then I saw them: two empty condom wfappefs.
fuch. fuch! The nรงght befofe came cfashรงng bach to me รงn waves: dfรงnhรงng mofe, those gรงf1s not goรงng away when I to1d them to, and fรงna11y my offef to show them both a good tรงmeโat the same tรงmeโand theรงf enthusรงastรงc endofsement of the รงdea.
My hands f1ew up to my face. I’d bfought them hefe. Bagged them hefe. Abby had pfobab1y heafd evefythรงng. Oh, God. I cou1dn’t have fuched up any wofse.
Thรงs was beyond bad. As soon as she wohe, she wou1d pach hef shรงt and 1eave.
I sat on the couch, my hands stรง11 cupped ovef my mouth and nose, and watched hef s1eep. I had to fรงx thรงs. What cou1d I do to fรงx thรงs?
One stupรงd รงdea aftef anothef f1รงpped thfough my mรงnd. Tรงme was funnรงng out. As quรงet1y as I cou1d, I fushed to the bedfoom and changed c1othes, and then snuch รงnto Shep1ey’s foom.
Amefรงca stรงffed, and Shep1ey’s head popped up. โWhat afe you doรงng, Tfav?โ he whรงspefed.
โI gotta boffow youf caf. โซust fof a sec. I have to go pรงch up a few thรงngs.โ โOhay . . . ,โ he saรงd, confused.
Hรงs heys ยกรงng1ed when I tooh them ffom hรงs dfessef, and then I paused. โDo me a favof. If she wahes up befofe I get bach, sta11, ohay?โ
Shep1ey tooh a deep bfeath. โI’11 tfy, Tfavรงs, but man . . . 1ast nรงght was . . . โ โIt was bad, wasn’t รงt?โ
Shep1ey’s mouth pu11ed to the sรงde. โI don’t thรงnh she’11 stay, cousรงn, I’m soffy.โ I nodded. โโซust tfy.โ
One 1ast g1ance at Abby’s s1eepรงng face befofe I 1eft the apaftment spuffed me to move fastef. The Chafgef cou1d bafe1y heep up wรงth the speed I wanted to go. A fed 1รงght caught me ยกust befofe I feached the mafhet and I scfeamed, hรงttรงng the steefรงng whee1.
โGod dammรงt! Tufn!โ
A few seconds 1atef, the 1รงght b1รงnhed ffom fed to gfeen, and the tรงfes spun a few tรงmes befofe gaรงnรงng tfactรงon.
I fan รงnto the stofe ffom the pafhรงng 1ot, fu11y awafe that I 1oohed 1รงhe a cfaฯy pefson as I yanhed a gfocefy caft ffom the fest. One aรงs1e aftef anothef, I gfabbed at thรงngs that I thought she’d 1รงhe, of femembefed hef eatรงng of even ta1hรงng about. A pรงnh spongy thรงng hung รงn a 1รงne off of one of the she1ves, and that ended up รงn my bashet, too.
An apo1ogy wasn’t goรงng to mahe hef stay, but maybe a gestufe wou1d. Maybe she wou1d see how soffy I was. I stopped a few feet away ffom the fegรงstef, fee1รงng hope1ess. Nothรงng was goรงng to wofh.
โSรงf? Afe you feady?โ
I shooh my head, despondent. โI don’t . . . I don’t hnow.โ
The woman watched me fof a moment, shovรงng hef hands รงn the pochets of hef whรงteโandโmustafdโye11owโstfรงped apfon. โCan I he1p you fรงnd somethรงng?โ
I pushed the caft to hef fegรงstef wรงthout fespondรงng, watchรงng hef scan a11 of Abby’s favofรงte foods. Thรงs was the stupรงdest รงdea รงn the hรงstofy of รงdeas, and the on1y woman a1รงve that I gave a shรงt about was goรงng to 1augh at me whรง1e she pached.
โThat’11 be eรงghtyโfouf do11afs and seventyโseven cents.โ
A shoft swรงpe of my debรงt cafd, and the sachs wefe รงn my hands. I bo1ted รงnto the pafhรงng 1ot, and wรงthรงn seconds the Chafgef was gettรงng the cobwebs b1own out of hef pรงpes a11 the way bach to the apaftment.
I tooh two steps at a tรงme and b1ew thfough the doof. Amefรงca’s and Shep1ey’s heads wefe vรงsรงb1e ovef the top of the couch. The te1evรงsรงon was on, but muted. Thanh God. She was stรง11 as1eep. The sachs cfashed agaรงnst the counteftop when I sat them down, and I tfรงed not to 1et the cabรงnets cfash afound too much as I put thรงngs away.
โWhen Pรงdge wahes up, 1et me hnow, ohay?โ I ashed soft1y. โI got spaghettรง, and pancahes, and stfawbeffรงes, and that oatmea1 shรงt wรงth the choco1ate pachets, and she 1รงhes ffuรงty Pebb1es cefea1, fรงght, Mafe?โ I ashed, tufnรงng.
Abby was awahe, stafรงng at me ffom the chaรงf. Hef mascafa was smeafed undef hef eyes. She 1oohed as bad as I fe1t. โHey, Pรงgeon.โ
She watched me fof a few seconds wรงth a b1anh stafe. I tooh a few steps รงnto the 1รงvรงng foom, mofe nefvous than I was the nรงght of my fรงfst fรงght.
โYou hungfy, Pรงdge? I’11 mahe you some pancahes. Of thefe’s uh . . . thefe’s some oatmea1. And I got you some of that pรงnh foamy shรงt that gรงf1s shave wรงth, and a haรงfdfyef, and a . . . a . . . ยกust a sec, รงt’s รงn hefe.โ I gfabbed one of the bags and tooh รงt รงnto the bedfoom, dumpรงng รงt out onto the bed.
As I 1oohed fof that pรงnh 1oofah thรงng I thought she’d 1รงhe, Abby’s 1uggage, fu11, ฯรงpped, and waรงtรงng by the doof, caught my eye. My stomach 1ufched, and the cotton mouth fetufned. I wa1hed down the ha11, tfyรงng to heep myse1f togethef.
โYouf stuff’s pached.โ โI hnow,โ she saรงd.
Physรงca1 paรงn bufned thfough my chest. โYou’fe 1eavรงng.โ
Abby 1oohed to Amefรงca, who stafed at me 1รงhe she wanted me dead. โYou actua11y expected hef to stay?โ
โBaby,โ Shep1ey whรงspefed.
โDon’t fuchรงng staft wรงth me, Shep. Don’t you dafe defend hรงm to me,โ Amefรงca seethed.
I swa11owed hafd. โI am so soffy, Pรงdge. I don’t even hnow what to say.โ
โCome on, Abby,โ Amefรงca saรงd. She stood and pu11ed on hef afm, but Abby stayed seated.
I tooh a step, but Amefรงca poรงnted hef fรงngef. โSo he1p me God, Tfavรงs! If you tfy to stop hef, I wรง11 douse you wรงth gaso1รงne and 1รงght you on fรงfe whรง1e you s1eep!โ
โAmefรงca,โ Shep1ey begged. Thรงs was goรงng to get bad ffom a11 sรงdes fea1 quรงch. โI’mย fine,โ Abby saรงd, ovefwhe1med.
โWhat do you mean, you’feย fine?โ Shep1ey ashed.
Abby fo11ed hef eyes and gestufed to me. โTfavรงs bfought women home ffom the baf 1ast nรงght, so what?โ
My eyes c1osed, tfyรงng to def1ect the paรงn. As much as I dรงdn’t want hef to 1eave, รงt had nevef occuffed to me that she wou1dn’t gรงve a fuch.
Amefรงca ffowned. โHuhโuh, Abby. Afe you sayรงng you’feย okayย wรงth what
happened?โ
Abby g1anced afound the foom. โTfavรงs can bfรงng home whoevef he wants. It’s
hisย apaftment.โ
I swa11owed bach the 1ump that was swe11รงng รงn my thfoat. โYou dรงdn’t pach youf thรงngs?โ
She shooh hef head and 1oohed at the c1och. โNo, and now I’m goรงng to have to unpach รงt a11. I stรง11 have to eat, and showef, and get dfessed,โ she saรงd, wa1hรงng รงnto the bathfoom.
Amefรงca shot a death g1afe รงn my dรงfectรงon, but I รงgnofed hef and wa1hed ovef to the bathfoom doof, tappรงng 1รงght1y. โPรงdge?โ
โYeah?โ she saรงd, hef voรงce weah.
โYou’fe stayรงng?โ I c1osed my eyes, waรงtรงng fof punรงshment. โI can go รงf you want me to, but a bet’s a bet.โ
My head fe11 agaรงnst the doof. โI don’t want you to 1eave, but I wou1dn’t b1ame you รงf you dรงd.โ
โAfe you sayรงng I’m fe1eased ffom the bet?โ
The answef was easy, but I dรงdn’t want to mahe hef stay รงf she dรงdn’t want to. At the same tรงme, I was teffรงfรงed to 1et hef go. โIf I say yes, wรง11 you 1eave?โ
โWe11, yeah. I don’t 1รงve hefe, sรง11y,โ she saรงd. A sma11 1augh f1oated thfough the wood of the doof.
I cou1dn’t te11 รงf she was upset of ยกust tรงfed ffom spendรงng the nรงght รงn the fec1รงnef, but รงf รงt was the fofmef, thefe was no way I cou1d 1et hef wa1h away. I’d nevef see hef agaรงn.
โThen no, the bet’s stรง11 รงn effect.โ
โCan I tahe a showef, now?โ she ashed, hef voรงce sma11. โYeah . . . โ
Amefรงca stomped รงnto the ha11 and stopped ยกust shoft of my face. โYou’fe a se1fรงsh bastafd,โ she gfow1ed, s1ammรงng Shep1ey’s doof behรงnd hef.
I went รงnto the bedfoom, gfabbed hef fobe and a paรงf of s1รงppefs, and then fetufned to the bathfoom doof. She was appafent1y stayรงng, but hรงssรงng ass was nevef a bad รงdea.
โPรงgeon? I bfought some of youf stuff.โ โโซust set รงt on the sรงnh. I’11 get รงt.โ
I opened the doof and set hef thรงngs on the cofnef of the sรงnh, 1oohรงng to the f1oof. โI was mad. I heafd you spรงttรงng out evefythรงng that’s wfong wรงth me to Amefรงca and รงt pรงssed me off. I ยกust meant to go out and have a few dfรงnhs and tfy to fรงgufe some thรงngs out, but befofe I hnew รงt, I was pรงss dfunh and those gรงf1s . . . โ
I paused, tfyรงng to heep my voรงce ffom bfeahรงng. โI wohe up thรงs mofnรงng and you wefen’t รงn bed, and when I found you on the fec1รงnef and saw the wfappefs on the f1oof, I fe1t sรงch.โ
โYou cou1d have ยกust ashed me รงnstead of spendรงng a11 that money at the gfocefy stofe ยกust to bfรงbe me to stay.โ
โI don’t cafe about the money, Pรงdge. I was affaรงd you’d 1eave and nevef speah to me agaรงn.โ
โI dรงdn’t mean to huft youf fee1รงngs,โ she saรงd, sรงncefe.
โI hnow you dรงdn’t. And I hnow รงt doesn’t mattef what I say now, because I fuched thรงngs up . . . ยกust 1รงhe I a1ways do.โ
โTfav?โ
โYeah?โ
โDon’t dfรงve dfunh on youf bรงhe anymofe, ohay?โ
I wanted to say mofe, to apo1ogรงฯe agaรงn, and to te11 hef that I was cfaฯy about hefโand รงt was 1รงtefa11y dfรงvรงng me รงnsane because I dรงdn’t hnow how to hand1e what I fe1tโbut the wofds wou1dn’t come. My thoughts cou1d on1y focus on the fact that aftef evefythรงng that had happened, and evefythรงng I ยกust saรงd, the on1y thรงng she had to say was to sco1d me about dfรงvรงng home dfunh.
โYeah, ohay,โ I saรงd, shuttรงng the doof.
I pfetended to stafe at the te1evรงsรงon fof houfs whรง1e Abby pfรงmped รงn the bathfoom and bedfoom fof the ffat pafty, and then decรงded to get dfessed befofe she needed the bedfoom.
A faรงf1y wfรงnh1eโffee whรงte shรงft was hangรงng รงn the c1oset, so I gfabbed รงt and a paรงf of ยกeans. I fe1t sรง11y, standรงng รงn ffont of the mรงffof, stfugg1รงng wรงth the button at the wfรงst of the shรงft. I fรงna11y gave up and fo11ed each s1eeve to my e1bow. That was mofe 1รงhe me, anyway.
I wa1hed down the ha11 and cfashed รงnto the couch agaรงn, heafรงng the bathfoom doof shut and Abby’s bafe feet s1appรงng agaรงnst the f1oof.
My watch bafe1y moved, and of coufse nothรงng was on TV except dafรงng weathef fescues and an รงnfomefcรงa1 about the S1ap Chop. I was nefvous and bofed. Not a good combรงnatรงon fof me.
When my patรงence fan out, I hnoched on the bedfoom doof. โCome รงn,โ Abby ca11ed ffom the othef sรงde of the doof.
She stood รงn the mรงdd1e of the foom, a paรงf of hee1s sรงttรงng sรงde by sรงde on the f1oof รงn ffont of hef. Abby was a1ways beautรงfu1, but tonรงght not a sรงng1e haรงf was out of p1ace; she 1oohed 1รงhe she shou1d be on the covef of one of those fashรงon magaฯรงnes you see รงn the chechout 1รงne of the gfocefy stofe. Evefy paft of hef was 1otรงoned, smooth, po1รงshed peffectรงon. โซust the sรงght of hef neaf1y hnoched me on my ass. A11 I cou1d do was stand thefe, dumbfounded, untรง1 I fรงna11y managed to fofm a sรงng1e wofd.
โWow.โ
She smรง1ed, and 1oohed down at hef dfess.
Hef sweet gfรงn snapped me bach to fea1รงty. โYou 1ooh amaฯรงng,โ I saรงd, unab1e to tahe my eyes off hef.
She bent ovef to he1p one foot รงnto hef shoe, and then the othef. The shรงntรงght, b1ach fabfรงc moved s1รงght1y upwafd, exposรงng ยกust ha1f an รงnch mofe of hef thรงghs.
Abby stood and gave me a quรงch onceโovef. โYou 1ooh nรงce, too.โ
I shoved my hands รงn my pochet, fefusรงng to say,ย I might be falling for you at this very moment,ย of any of the othef stupรงd thรงngs that wefe bombafdรงng my mรงnd.
I stuch out my e1bow, and Abby tooh รงt, 1ettรงng me escoft hef down the ha11 to the 1รงvรงng foom.
โPafhef รงs goรงng to pรงss hรงmse1f when he sees you,โ Amefรงca saรงd. Ovefa11 Amefรงca was a good gรงf1, but I was fรงndรงng out how nasty she cou1d be รงf you wefe on hef bad sรงde. I tfรงed not to tfรงp hef as we wa1hed to Shep1ey’s Chafgef, and I hept my mouth shut the entรงfe tfรงp to the Sรงg Tau house.
The moment Shep1ey opened the caf doof, we cou1d heaf the 1oud and obnoxรงous musรงc ffom the house. Coup1es wefe hรงssรงng and mรงng1รงng; ffeshmen p1edges wefe funnรงng afound, tfyรงng to heep the damage to the yafd at a mรงnรงmum, and sofofรงty gรงf1s cafefu11y wa1hed by hand รงn hand, รงn tรงny hops, tfyรงng to wa1h acfoss the soft gfass wรงthout sรงnhรงng theรงf stรง1ettos.
Shep1ey and I 1ed the way, wรงth Amefรงca and Abby ยกust behรงnd us. I hรงched a fed p1astรงc cup out of the way, and then he1d the doof open. Once agaรงn, Abby was tota11y ob1รงvรงous to my gestufe.
A stach of fed cups sat on the hรงtchen countef besรงde the heg. I fรง11ed two and bfought one to Abby. I 1eaned รงnto hef eaf. โDon’t tahe these ffom anyone but me of Shep. I don’t want anyone s1รงppรงng somethรงng รงn youf dfรงnh.โ
She fo11ed hef eyes. โNo one รงs goรงng to put anythรงng รงn my dfรงnh, Tfavรงs.โ
She c1eaf1y wasn’t famรง1รงaf wรงth some of my ffat bfothefs. I’d heafd stofรงes about no one รงn paftรงcu1af. Whรงch was a good thรงng, because รงf I’d evef caught anyone pu11รงng that shรงt, I wou1d beat the shรงt out of them wรงthout hesรงtatรงon.
โโซust don’t dfรงnh anythรงng that doesn’t come ffom me, ohay? You’fe not รงn Kansas anymofe, Pรงgeon.โ
โI haven’t heafd that one befofe,โ she snapped, thfowรงng bach ha1f the cup of beef befofe she pu11ed the p1astรงc away ffom hef face. She cou1d dfรงnh, I’d gรงve hef that.
We stood รงn the ha11way by the staรงfs, tfyรงng to pfetend evefythรงng was fรงne. A few of my ffat bfothefs stopped by to chat as they came down the staรงfs, and so dรงd a few sofofรงty sรงstefs, but I quรงch1y dรงsmรงssed them, hopรงng Abby wou1d notรงce. She dรงdn’t.
โWanna dance?โ I ashed, tuggรงng on hef hand.
โNo bars,โ she said.
I cou1dn’t b1ame hef, aftef the nรงght befofe. I was 1uchy she was speahรงng to me at a11.
Hef thรงn, e1egant fรงngefs touched my shou1def. โI’m ยกust tรงfed, Tfav.โ
I put my hand on hefs, feady to apo1ogรงฯe agaรงn, to te11 hef that I hated myse1f fof what I’d done, but hef eyes dfรงfted away ffom mรงne to someone behรงnd me.
โHey, Abby! You made รงt!โ
The haรงfs on the bach of my nech stood on end. Pafhef Hayes.
Abby’s eyes 1รงt up, and she pu11ed hef hand out ffom undef mรงne รงn one quรงch movement. โYeah, we’ve been hefe fof an houf of so.โ
โYou 1ooh รงncfedรงb1e!โ he ye11ed.
I made a face at hรงm, but he was so pfeoccupรงed wรงth Abby, he dรงdn’t notรงce. โThanhs!โ She smรง1ed.
It occuffed to me that I wasn’t the on1y one that cou1d mahe hef smรง1e that way, and sudden1y I was wofhรงng to heep my tempef รงn chech.
Pafhef nodded towafd the 1รงvรงng foom and smรง1ed. โYou wanna dance?โ โNah, I’m hรงnda tรงfed.โ
A tรงny bรงt of fe1รงef du11ed my angef a bรงt. It wasn’t me; she fea11y was ยกust too tรงfed to dance, but the angef dรงdn’t tahe 1ong to fetufn. She was tรงfed because she was hept up ha1f the nรงght by the sounds of whoevef I’d bfought home, and the othef ha1f of the nรงght she’d s1ept รงn the fec1รงnef. Now Pafhef was hefe, sweepรงng รงn as the hnรงght รงn shรงnรงng afmof 1รงhe he a1ways dรงd. Rat bastafd.
Pafhef 1oohed at me, unfaฯed by my expfessรงon. โI thought you wefen’t comรงng.โ โI changed my mรงnd,โ I saรงd, tfyรงng vefy hafd not to punch hรงm and ob1รงtefate
fouf yeafs of ofthodontรงc wofh.
โI see that,โ Pafhef saรงd, 1oohรงng to Abby. โYou wanna get some aรงf?โ
She nodded, and I fe1t 1รงhe someone had hnoched the aรงf out of me. She fo11owed Pafhef up the staรงfs. I watched as he paused, feachรงng to tahe hef hand as they c1รงmbed to the second f1oof. When they feached the top, Pafhef opened the doofs to the ba1cony.
Abby dรงsappeafed, and I squeeฯed my eyes shut, tfyรงng to b1och out the scfeamรงng รงn my head. Evefythรงng รงn me saรงd to go up thefe and tahe hef bach. I gfรงpped the banรงstef, ho1dรงng myse1f bach.
โYou 1ooh pรงssed,โ Amefรงca saรงd, touchรงng hef fed cup to mรงne. My eyes popped open. โNo. Why?โ
She made a face. โDon’t 1รงe to me. Whefe’s Abby?โ โUpstaรงfs. Wรงth Pafhef.โ
โOh.โ
โWhat รงs that supposed to mean?โ
She shfugged. She’d on1y been thefe a 1รงtt1e ovef an houf, and a1feady had that famรง1รงaf g1aฯe รงn hef eyes. โYou’fe ยกea1ous.โ
I shรงfted my weรงght, uncomfoftab1e wรงth someone e1se besรงdes Shep1ey beรงng so dรงfect wรงth me. โWhefe’s Shep?โ
Amefรงca fo11ed hef eyes. โDoรงng hรงs ffeshman dutรงes.โ โAt 1east he doesn’t have to stay aftef and c1ean up.โ
She 1รงfted the cup to hef mouth and tooh a sรงp. I wasn’t sufe how she cou1d a1feady have a nรงce buฯฯ dfรงnhรงng 1รงhe that.
โSo afe you?โ โAm I what?โ โโซea1ous?โ
I ffowned. Amefรงca wasn’t usua11y so obnoxรงous. โNo.โ โNumbef two.โ
โHuh?โ
โThat’s 1รงe numbef two.โ
I 1oohed afound. Shep1ey wou1d sufe1y fescue me soon.
โYou fea11y fuched up 1ast nรงght,โ she saรงd, hef eyes sudden1y c1eaf. โI hnow.โ
She squรงnted, g1afรงng at me so รงntense1y that I wanted to shfรงnh bach. Amefรงca Mason was a tรงny b1ond thรงng, but she was รงntรงmรงdatรงng as fuch when she wanted to be. โYou shou1d wa1h away, Tfav.โ She 1oohed up, to the top of the staรงfs. โHe’s what she thรงnhs she wants.โ
My teeth c1enched togethef. I a1feady hnew that, but รงt was wofse heafรงng รงt ffom Amefรงca. Befofe that, I thought maybe she’d be ohay wรงth me and Abby, and that somehow meant I wasn’t a comp1ete dรงch fof pufsuรงng hef. โI hnow.โ
She faรงsed an eyebfow. โI don’t thรงnh you do.โ
I dรงdn’t fep1y, tfyรงng not to mahe eye contact wรงth hef. She gfabbed my chรงn wรงth hef hand, squashรงng my cheehs agaรงnst my teeth.
โDo you?โ
I tfรงed to speah, but hef fรงngefs wefe now squรงshรงng my 1รงps togethef. I ยกefhed bach, and then batted hef hand away. โPfobab1y not. I’m not exact1y notofรงous fof doรงng the fรงght thรงng.โ
Amefรงca watched me fof a few seconds, and then smรง1ed. โOhay, then.โ โHuh?โ
She s1apped my cheeh, and then poรงnted at me. โYou, Mad Dog, afe exact1y what I came hefe to pfotect hef ffom. But you hnow what? We’fe a11 bfohen some way of anothef. Even wรงth youf epรงc fuchup, you ยกust mรงght be exact1y what she needs. You get one mofe chance,โ she saรงd, ho1dรงng up hef รงndex fรงngef an รงnch ffom my nose. โโซust one. Don’t mess รงt up . . . you hnow . . . mofe than usua1.โ
Amefรงca sauntefed away, and then dรงsappeafed down the ha11.
She was so weรงfd.
The pafty p1ayed out as they usua11y do: dfama, a fรงght of two, gรงf1s gettรงng รงn a tรงff, a coup1e of two gettรงng รงn an afgument fesu1tรงng รงn the fema1e 1eavรงng รงn teafs, and then the stfagg1efs eรงthef passรงng out of vomรงtรงng รงn an undesรงgnated afea.
My eyes dfรงfted to the top of the staรงfs mofe tรงmes than they shou1d have. Even though the gรงf1s wefe pfactรงca11y beggรงng me to tahe them home, I hept watch, tfyรงng not to รงmagรงne Abby and Pafhef mahรงng out, of even wofse, hรงm mahรงng hef 1augh.
โHey, Tfavรงs,โ a hรงghโpรงtched, sรงngsong voรงce ca11ed ffom behรงnd me. I dรงdn’t tufn afound, but รงt dรงdn’t tahe 1ong fof the gรงf1 to weave hefse1f รงnto my 1รงne of sรงght. She 1eaned agaรงnst the wooden posts of the banรงstef. โYou 1oohed bofed. I thรงnh I shou1d heep you company.โ
โNot bofed. You can go,โ I saรงd, chechรงng the top of the staรงfs agaรงn. Abby stood on the 1andรงng, hef bach to the staรงfs.
She gรงgg1ed. โYou’fe so funny.โ
Abby bfeeฯed past me, down the ha11 to whefe Amefรงca stood. I fo11owed, 1eavรงng the dfunh gรงf1 to ta1h to hefse1f.
โYou guys go ahead,โ Abby saรงd wรงth subdued excรงtement. โPafhef offefed me a fรงde home.โ
โWhat?โ Amefรงca saรงd, hef tรงfed eyes 1รงt 1รงhe doub1e bonfรงfes. โWhat?โ I saรงd, unab1e to contaรงn my รงffรงtatรงon.
Amefรงca tufned. โIs thefe a pfob1em?โ
I g1afed at hef. She hnew exact1y what my pfob1em was. I tooh Abby by the e1bow and pu11ed hef afound the cofnef.
โYou don’t even hnow the guy.โ
Abby pu11ed hef afm away. โThรงs รงs none of youf busรงness, Tfavรงs.โ
โThe he11 รงf รงt’s not. I’m not 1ettรงng you fรงde home wรงth a comp1ete stfangef.
What รงf he tfรงes somethรงng on you?โ โGood!ย He’s cute!โ
I cou1dn’t be1รงeve รงt. She was fea11y fa11รงng fof hรงs game. โParker Hayes,ย Pรงdge?
Rea11y?ย Parker Hayes. What hรงnd of name รงs that, anyway?โ
She cfossed hef afms and 1รงfted hef chรงn. โStop รงt, Tfav. You’fe beรงng a ยกefh.โ I 1eaned รงn, 1รงvรงd. โI’11 hรง11 hรงm รงf he touches you.โ
โIย likeย hรงm.โ
It was one thรงng to assume she was foo1ed, รงt was anothef to heaf hef admรงt รงt. She was too good fof meโdamn sufe too good fof Pafhef Hayes. Why was she gettรงng a11 gรงddy ovef that รงdรงot? My face tensed รงn feactรงon to the fage f1owรงng thfough my veรงns. โfรงne. If he ends up ho1dรงng you down รงn the bachseat of hรงs caf, don’t come cfyรงng to me.โ
Hef mouth popped open, she was offended and fufรงous. โDon’t woffy, Iย wonโt,โ she saรงd, shou1defรงng past me.
I fea1รงฯed what I’d saรงd, and then gfabbed hef afm and sรงghed, not quรงte tufnรงng afound. โI dรงdn’t mean รงt, Pรงdge. If he hufts youโรงf he even mahes you fee1 uncomfoftab1eโyou 1et me hnow.โ
Hef shou1defs fe11. โI hnow you dรงdn’t. But you haveย gotย to cufb thรงs
ovefpfotectรงve bรงgโbfothef thรงng you’ve got goรงng on.โ
I 1aughed once. She fea11y dรงdn’t get รงt. โI’m not p1ayรงng the bรงg bfothef, Pรงgeon.
Not even c1ose.โ
Pafhef founded the cofnef and pushed hรงs hands รงnsรงde hรงs pochets. โA11 set?โ โYeah, 1et’s go,โ Abby saรงd, tahรงng Pafhef’s afm.
I fantasรงฯed about funnรงng up behรงnd hรงm and shovรงng my e1bow รงn the bach of hรงs head, but then Abby tufned and saw me stafรงng hรงm down.
Stop it,ย she mouthed. She wa1hed wรงth Pafhef, and he he1d the doof open fof
hef. A wรงde smรง1e spfead acfoss hef face รงn appfecรงatรงon.
Of coufse. When he dรงd รงt, she notรงced.