Chapter no 59

Unravel Me (Shatter Me Book 2)

I jump up, frantic, and tell Warner Iโ€™ll be right back.

Iโ€™m saying donโ€™t leave yet, donโ€™t go anywhere just yet Iโ€™ll be right back but I donโ€™t wait for his response because Iโ€™m on my feet and Iโ€™m running toward the lighted hallway and I almost slam right into Adam. He steadies me and pulls me tight, so close, always forgetting not to touch me like this and heโ€™s anxious and he says, โ€œAre you okay?โ€ and โ€œIโ€™m so sorry,โ€ and โ€œIโ€™ve been looking for you everywhere,โ€ and โ€œI thought youโ€™d come down to the medical wing,โ€ and โ€œit wasnโ€™t your fault, I hope you know thatโ€”โ€

It keeps hitting me in the face, in the skull, in the spine, this knowledge of just how much I care about him. How much I know he cares about me. Being close to him like this is a painful reminder of everything I had to force myself to walk away from. I take a deep breath.

โ€œAdam,โ€ I ask, โ€œis Kenji okay?โ€

โ€œHeโ€™s not conscious yet,โ€ he says to me, โ€œbut Sara and Sonya think heโ€™s going to be okay. Theyโ€™re going to stay up with him all night, just to be sure he makes it through in one piece.โ€ A pause. โ€œNo one knows what happened,โ€ he says. โ€œBut it wasnโ€™t you.โ€ His eyes lock mine in place. โ€œYou know that, right? You didnโ€™t even touch him. I know you didnโ€™t.โ€

And even though I open my mouth a million times to say, It was Warner. Warner did it. Heโ€™s the one who did this to Kenji, you have to get him and catch him and stop him he is lying to all of you! Heโ€™s going to escape tomorrow! I donโ€™t say any of it and I donโ€™t know why.

I donโ€™t know why Iโ€™m protecting him.

I think part of me is afraid to say the words out loud, afraid to make them true. I still donโ€™t know whether or not Warner is really going to leave or even how heโ€™s going to escape; I donโ€™t know if itโ€™s even possible. And I donโ€™t know if I can tell anyone about Warnerโ€™s ability yet; I donโ€™t think I want to explain to Adam that while he and the rest of Omega Point were tending to Kenji, I was hiding in a tunnel with Warnerโ€”our enemy and hostageโ€”holding his hand and testing out his new power.

I wish I werenโ€™t so confused.

I wish my interactions with Warner would stop making me feel so guilty. Every moment I spend with him, every conversation I have with him makes me feel like Iโ€™ve somehow betrayed Adam, even though technically weโ€™re not even together anymore. My heart still feels so tied to Adam; I feel bound to

him, like I need to make up for already having hurt him so much. I donโ€™t want to be the reason for the pain in his eyes, not again, and somehow Iโ€™ve decided that keeping secrets is the only way to keep him from getting hurt. But deep down, I know this canโ€™t be right. Deep down, I know it could end badly.

But I donโ€™t know what else to do.

โ€œJuliette?โ€ Adam is still holding me tight, still so close and warm and wonderful. โ€œAre you okay?โ€

And Iโ€™m not sure what makes me ask it, but suddenly I need to know. โ€œAre you ever going to tell him?โ€

Adam pulls back, just an inch. โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œWarner. Are you ever going to tell him the truth? About the two of you?โ€

Adam is blinking, stunned, caught off guard by my question. โ€œNo,โ€ he finally says. โ€œNever.โ€

โ€œWhy not?โ€

โ€œBecause it takes a lot more than blood to be family,โ€ he says. โ€œAnd I want nothing to do with him. Iโ€™d like to be able to watch him die and feel no sympathy, no remorse. Heโ€™s the textbook definition of a monster,โ€ Adam says to me. โ€œJust like my dad. And Iโ€™ll drop dead before I recognize him as my brother.โ€

Suddenly Iโ€™m feeling like I might fall over.

Adam grabs my waist, tries to focus my eyes. โ€œYouโ€™re still in shock,โ€ he says. โ€œWe need to get you something to eatโ€”or maybe some waterโ€”โ€

โ€œItโ€™s okay,โ€ I tell him. โ€œIโ€™m okay.โ€ I allow myself to enjoy one last second in his arms before I break away, needing to breathe. I keep trying to convince myself that Adam is right, that Warner has done terrible, awful things and I shouldnโ€™t forgive him. I shouldnโ€™t smile at him. I shouldnโ€™t even talk to him. And then I want to scream because I donโ€™t think my brain can handle the split personality I seem to be developing lately.

I tell Adam I need a minute. I tell him I need to stop by the bathroom before we head over to the medical wing and he says okay, he says heโ€™ll wait for me.

He says heโ€™ll wait for me until Iโ€™m ready.

And I tiptoe back into the dark tunnel to tell Warner that I have to leave, that I wonโ€™t be coming back after all, but when I squint into the darkness I canโ€™t see a thing.

I look around. Heโ€™s already gone.

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