The next hour passed in a blur. The police and paramedics
arrived, peppering me with questions and medical checkups and lots of somber-looking faces. I endured them all, my answers flat and robotic.
By the time they finished, I wanted to crawl into my bed and never get outโifย I could bring myself to move.
โAva?โ Bridget placed a tentative hand on my arm. โThe police said we can go. Rhys will drive us back.โ
The massive bodyguard hovered so close he was practically on top of us, his usual stoic mask replaced with pure fury.
I didnโt blame him. Weโd gotten ourselves into this mess. Bridget and I had wanted to see one of our favorite bands perform in D.C. last night. Cool indie bands didnโt visit the city often, and when they did, we took advantage. ExceptโฆRhys had flat-outย forbiddenย Bridget from going because it wasnโt safe, and instead of arguing with himโ which we all knew by now was uselessโBridget snuck out in the middle of the night. Everything had gone according to plan until the camouflage-wearing psycho yanked us off the street after the concert and into the back of his van. Itโd happened so fast we didnโt have time to scream. Weโd fought back as hard as we could, and my amateur self- defense training allowed me to land a few hits, but heโd
eventually knocked us out. When we woke up, we found ourselves in freakinโ Philadelphia.
A shudder rippled down my spine. Our kidnapper mustโve been watching us for God knew how long before he made his move, which creeped me out more than the actual kidnapping part.
โAre you ready?โ Despite her calm tone, I detected a small shake in Bridgetโs shoulders, and I suspected that was the reason Rhys hadnโt torn us a new one yet. In fact, he hadnโt said a word to us except to explain heโd found us via the chip heโd placed in Bridgetโs phone, which heโd activated when he discovered she wasnโt in her room that morning. It was a testament to how much weโd fucked up that Bridget didnโt utter a peep about him secretly tracking her.
My eyes strayed toward Alex, who looked remarkably composed for someone whoโd shot his uncle, killed our kidnapper, and almost died himself.
He spoke with a police officer, his face not betraying a hint of agitation.
You were nothing more than a means to an end.
โAlmost,โ I said. My voice sounded strange to my ears.
Low and hollow, almost lifeless. โI need to talk to him.โ
Bridget and Rhys exchanged glances, their mutual concern for me overshadowing their animosity.
โAve, Iโm not sure thatโs a good ideaโโ
I ignored her. I stood, stepped around Bridget, and walked toward Alex, keeping the blanket the EMT gave me wrapped tight around my shoulders.
One foot in front of the other.
This entire day felt surreal. I kept thinking it was a new type of nightmare and that I would wake up at any moment, but I never did. Even when I told the police what happened, I felt like I was talking about a movie, not my life.
The story came out in pieces and half-truths. I told the officers Alexโs uncle hired someone to kidnap us as
leverage because Alex had ousted him as CEO, but I didnโt mention their twisted family history. That wasnโt my story to tell. I could honestly say I didnโt know what happened after Bridget and I leftโhow Alexโs uncle had ended up with six bullets in him or how the kidnapper had, according to the queasy-looking officer, ended up more carved up than a jack-o’-lantern on steroids. I technicallyย didnโtย know, but it didnโt take a genius to figure out what happened.
I wasnโt sure what Alex told the police but considering they hadnโt arrested him for killing two people yet, I assumed heโd spun a convincing tale of self-defense.
He was, after all, the consummate liar. Right? Or had he been lying about lying?
There was only one way to find out.
Alex noticed me first. He said something to the officer, who nodded and left.
I stopped two feet from him, my hands strangling the blanket.
He looked like old Alex againโunru๏ฌed and uncaring, with eyes like chips of jade-colored ice. I didnโt see a hint of the Alex Iโd gotten to know over the past few months. The one whoโd stayed and canceled a date to watch movies with me, the one whoโd choked down one of the most disgusting cookies ever made and lied about it being โfineโ because he didnโt want to hurt my feelings, the one whoโd taught me to swim and showed me a world Iโd thought only existed in fantasies. A world in which I loved and had been loved in return. He hadnโt said it, but I thoughtโฆIโd really thought he loved me and had just been too scared to say it.
Now, I questioned whether the Alex I โknewโ had ever existed. Perhaps it really had all been a ruse, a role played by a psychopath bent on vengeance and taking advantage of my unsuspecting heart.
Orโฆheโd been lying, and heโd said all those things in front of his uncle to save me because he didnโt want his
uncle to know he cared. His tale seemed too elaborate to be fake, but Alex was a genius. He could do anything.
I clung to the tattered remains of my hope with bloody fingers.
โI thought you wouldโve left by now.โ He slid his hands into his pockets, the picture of cool nonchalance.
โI wanted to speak to you first.โ โWhy?โ
Heat rose on my face.ย Leave before you embarrass yourself any further!ย my pride screamed, but that horrible flicker of hope insisted I stay until the end.
โI wanted to know.โ
He lifted a bored brow.
โYou and me.โ I was almost afraid to ask, but I had to know. โWas any of it real?โ
Alex stilled, and I held my breath, hoping, prayingโฆ
โI tried to warn you, sweetheart,โ he said, his face impassive. โI told you not to romanticize me, to harden that soft heart. It was my one courtesy for the kindness youโve shown me over the years. But you fell for me, anyway.โ His jaw tightened. โConsider it a lesson for the future. Pretty words and pretty faces donโt equal pretty souls.โ
My hope turned to ashes.
My soft heart?ย No. I didnโt have a heart at all, not anymore. Heโd torn it out of my chest, sliced it to ribbons with the blades of his words, and tossed the shreds aside without a second thought.
I should say something.ย Anything. But I couldnโt think of a single thing.
I wished for an iota of my earlier anger and hurt, but none came. I was numb.
I mightโve stood there forever had gentle hands not guided me into Rhysโs waiting car. I thought I heard Bridget hiss something at Alex, but I couldnโt be sure. It didnโt matter.
Nothing mattered.
Bridget didnโt try to talk to me or feed me platitudes. That wouldโve only made things worse. Instead, she let me sit in silence and stare out the window, watching dead tree after dead tree fly by. I couldnโt remember why I liked winter. Everything looked dull and gray. Lifeless.
I made it all the way to the border of Maryland. There, it started raining, the tiny drops sprinkling over the window like scattershot crystals. I remembered the day Alex picked me up when I was stranded in the rain, and I. Broke. Down.
All my pent-up emotion from the past few hoursโthe past fewย monthsโburst forth at the same time. I was an ant swept up in a tidal wave, and I didnโt bother fighting. I let it wash over meโthe hurt, the anger, the heartbreak and betrayal and sadnessโuntil my eyes burned and my muscles ached from the force of sobs.
Somehow, I found myself curled up in Bridgetโs lap while she stroked my hair and murmured soothing sounds. It wouldโve been terribly embarrassing, crying into a royal princessโs lap, except I was beyond caring.
Why was it always me?
What about me made me so damn unlovable? So
gullible?
My favorite color. Yellow.
My favorite ice cream flavor. Mint chocolate chip.
You are the light to my dark, Sunshine. Without you, Iโm lost.
Lies. All of it.
Every kiss, every word, every second that I had treasuredโฆtainted.
My eyes burned with liquid fire. I couldnโt breathe. Everything hurt, from the outside to the inside, as I sobbed terrible, wretched, soul-wracking tears.
Michael had lied to me. Alex had lied to me. Not for days, weeks, or months, but forย years.
Something inside me broke, and I was no longer only crying for my shattered heart but for the girl I used to beโ the one whoโd believed in light and love and the goodness of the world.
That girl was gone.
