As an ER resident, I saw some crazy shit, and the last
week was no exception.
A man whose car collided with a fence and arrived at the hospitalย withย the fence post stuck through him? Check. (He was currently in the ICU, but chances were, heโll survive).
A patient who stripped off all their clothes and ran around the ER naked before two nurses finally caught them? Check.
Someone with a broken-off cucumber stuck in their rectum? Check.
Total insanity, but that was why Iโd chosen emergency medicine over surgery, which my father had pushed for. He wanted to brag about having a heart surgeon for a son, but I thrived on chaos. On the thrill of coming into work every day and not knowing what challenges lay ahead. It kept me on my toes, though I could do without removing vegetables from other peopleโs orifices for a long, long while.
โGet some rest,โ Clara said as I clocked out after another grueling night shift. โYou look like a zombie.โ
โFalse. I always look perfect. Right, Luce?โ I winked at Lucy, another nurse. She giggled in agreement while Clara rolled her eyes.
โSee you tomorrow. Try not to miss me too much.โ I rapped my knuckles against the counter on my way out the
door.
โWe wonโt,โ Clara said.
At the same time Lucy chirped, โWeโll try!โ
A chuckle rose in my throat, but by the time I stepped outside, itโd already faded, crushed by bone-deep exhaustion. However, instead of heading home for some much-needed shuteye, I made a left toward the north side of the hospital campus, where the Legal Health Alliance Clinic was located.
Iโd somehow misplaced my charger before my shift and my phone was at eight percent, so the backup charger I kept at LHAC was my only hope of keeping my all- important cell alive.
When I arrived at the clinic, Barbsโs car was the only one in the tiny parking lot squished next to the building. Most of the staff didnโt trickle in until half past eight, but she opened and closed the office every day, so she kept longer hours.
โHey, beautiful,โ I quipped when I entered the reception area.
โHey, handsome,โ she said with a wink.
When Iโd volunteered at LHAC as a med student, Barbs kept me supplied with home-cooked pastries and sage advice likeย when life gives you lemons, make lemonade and hang out with someone whose life gave them vodka.ย She was one of the reasons Iโd continued volunteering despite my crazy residency schedule. The clinic staff had become my surrogate family over the years, and even though I only had time to drop by once or twice a week in between shifts, they kept me grounded.
โWasnโt expecting to see you today.โ Barbs tucked her pen behind her ear. โA little birdie told me you just came off a night shift.โ
I didnโt ask how she knew. Barbs was the most plugged- in person in the Thayer Hospital system. She knew things about people beforeย theyย did.
โTrust me, Iโm going home and crashing soon.โ I scrubbed a hand over my face, trying to keep my eyes open. โI just need to grab my charger.โ
Iโd volunteered at LHAC so long I had my own desk. The bulk of my work involved staffing its free health clinic for uninsured health patients, but I also consulted on various legal cases that required a medical opinion.
โBefore you do, you should say hi to our new research associate.โ Barbs nodded at the kitchen door down the hall. โYouโll like her. Sheโs feisty.โ
I raised my eyebrows. โNew associate already?โ
LHAC had been inundated with new cases recently. Lisa, the legal director, had been talking about hiring a short- term associate to help out until the rush was over, but I hadnโt expected it to happen so soon.
โYep. Third year at Thayer Law.โ Barbsโs eyes gleamed in a way that sent my guard shooting straight up. โSmart girl. Pretty too, if a bit eager. She started on Monday, and I found her waiting outside fifteen minutes before the clinic opened.โ
โCongrats, you just described half the girls at Thayer.โ A majority of the universityโs students were Type A to a fault. โDonโt think about it,โ I added when Barbs opened her mouth. โI donโt do office romances.โ
I had a reputation as a player, but I would never hook up with someone I worked with, not even in a volunteer setting.
Barbs didnโt bat an eye at my foul languageโsheโd said and heard much worse at the clinicโthough her face did pucker in disappointment. She fancied herself the hospital matchmaker, and sheโd been trying to matchmake me for years.
โBesides, if I did date anyone from the clinic, itโd be you,โ I added teasingly.
She maintained her frown for ten seconds before it melted into a smile. โYouโre a terrible liar.โ
โMe, lie?โ I placed a hand over my chest. โNever.โ
She shook her head. โGo. Take that charm elsewhere. Youโre too young for me. And come back to me after youโve seen her,โ she called after me, laughing when I tossed her an exasperated look over my shoulder.
I grabbed my charger from my desk and pocketed it. Then, curious despite myself, I headed to the kitchen to meet the new associate. I might as well see what all the fuss was about.
I pushed open the kitchen door, my mouth curving into a welcomingโWhat. The. Fuck.
My smile disappeared faster than candy at a kidโs birthday party.
Because sitting in the middle of the room, drinking coffee out ofย myย favorite mug and examining a stack of papers, was none other than Jules Ambrose.
My blood pressure spiked.
No.ย Fuckย no. I mustโve fallen asleep after my shift and entered a vivid nightmare because there wasย no wayย Jules was the new research associate. The universe wouldnโt be so cruel.
She glanced up at the sound of the door opening, and I wouldโve taken great pleasure in the way her face paled had I not been equally thunderstruck.
โWhat the hell are you doing here?โ Our voices mingled in a discordant melodyโher words pitched high with stress, mine low with horror.
A muscle jumped in my jaw. โI work here.โ I released the doorknob and crossed my arms over my chest. โWhatโs your excuse?โ
โIย work here.ย Youย work in the ER.โ Jules arched an
eyebrow. โI see youโre going senile already. Thatโs what happens when your brain uses all its limited faculties on basic upkeep.โ
Goddammit. I didnโt have time for this. I came here to pick up my charger, and now I was stuck arguing with the
she-devil when all I wanted was sleep.
But it was too late. There was no backing down unless I wanted her to rub getting the last word in my face until the end of time.
โDonโt project, itโs unbecoming. Just because you have lower than average mental capacity doesnโt mean everyone else does.โ A smirk touched my mouth when her eye twitched. โAs for the clinic, Iโve been volunteering here since I was in med school.โ
Translation: it wasย myย space. Iโd claimed it first.
Was that a juvenile way to look at things? Perhaps. But there were so few places I felt truly at home. The clinic was one of them, and Julesโs presence would smash that peace to smithereens.
โItโs not too late to quit.โ I leaned against the wall, keeping my eyes locked to hers in a silent challenge. โYouโd have more fun spending your free time elsewhere. Iโm sure thereโs a poor sap whoโs willing to fill in the gaps in your schedule if youโre bored.โ
โI could say the same for you, Judgy McJosh.โ Jules sipped her coffee out of my fucking mug. โOr have you run out of women whoโll fall for your bullshit? Unless youโre using the volunteer excuse to pick up women, which is just sad.โ
I closed the distance between us in three strides and slammed my hands on the table hard enough to rattle the highlighters lined up next to her papers. I leaned forward until our faces were only inches apart and our breaths mingled in a cloud of animosity.
โQuit.โ The word vibrated, taut and furious, between us. Julesโs eyes glowed with challenge. โNo.โ
Her slow, precise enunciation ratcheted my blood pressure up another notch.
My knuckles dug into the hard wood as I fisted my hands on the table. My heart pounded so hard its drumbeat echoed in my head, taunting me.
I didnโt know whyย thisย one thing bothered me so much. Jules was the new research associate. So what? I didnโt come into the clinic often, and I didnโt have to talk to her if I didnโt want to. Plus, hers was a temporary position. Sheโd be gone in a few months.
But the mere idea of her here, in my haven, drinking out of my mug and laughing with my friends and filling every molecule of air with her presence, made it really fucking hard to breathe.
One. Two. Three.ย I forced oxygen into my lungs with
each count.
A few feet away, the fridge hummed, oblivious to the battle playing out in the kitchen. Meanwhile, the clock ticked its way toward the half hour, reminding me I should be long gone by now.
Shower. Bed. Blissful sleep.
They called my name, yet here I was, face to face with Jules, unwilling to wave the white flag in our silent war.
Even at this close proximity, I couldnโt spot a single flaw in her creamy skin. I could, however, count the individual lashes framing her hazel eyes and spot the teeny tiny mole above her upper lip.
The fact I noticed those things pissed me off even more. โI thought you were all about corporate law. Big bucks.
Prestige.โ Each syllable came out cold and sharp enough to sting. โThe clinic may not be as fancy as Silver & Klein, but we do important work here. Itโs not a playground for you to mess around in until you leave for the โbig leagues.โโ
It was a low blow. I knew it even as I said it.
Jules probably needed a job to tide her over until she passed the bar exam, and there was nothing wrong with that.
But my frustrationโover my father, over Alex, over the empty, gnawing feeling in my chest that had plagued me for more nights than I cared to admitโturned me into someone I didnโt recognize and didnโt particularly like. Normally, I
could pretend I was the same carefree guy Iโd been in school, but for some reason, my mask never lasted long with Jules.
Perhaps it was because I didnโt care whether she saw the worst of me. There was a certain liberation in not giving a shit about what other people thought.
โHow like you to assume the worst of me.โ If my voice was cold, Julesโs was an inferno, incinerating the sharp edges of my irritation until only the ashes of shame remained.
โWhat, you think Iโm going to swan in here every week, push a few papers around, andย pretendย to work just because Iโm a temp? Newsflash, asshole, when I commit to doing something, I do itย well.ย I donโt care if itโs a big law firm, a nonprofit, or a fucking lemonade stand at the end of a dead-end road. Youโre not better than me just because youโre a doctor, and Iโm not the devil just because I want a high-paying career. So you can take your sanctimonious attitude and shove it up your ass, Josh Chen, becauseย Iโm over it.โ
Silence blanketed the room, broken only by Julesโs ragged breaths. Her earlier cool had evaporated, replaced with flushed cheeks and blazing eyes, but for once, I didnโt take pleasure in riling her up.
I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but I was too stunned to formulate an appropriate response.
Jules and I had exchanged more barbs than I could count over the years. She always gave as good as she got, but what happened just nowโฆif I didnโt know better, I couldโve sworn she was actually hurt.
A hot poker of guilt stabbed at my chest.
I straightened and rubbed a hand over my face, wondering when the hell my life had gotten so complicated. I missed the days when Jules and I insulted each other with zero guilt or remorse, when my sister wasnโt in love with
my ex-best friend, and when my best friend had still been my friend.
I missed the days when I wasย me.
Now here I was, about to do something old Josh wouldโve rather cut off his arm than do.
โI shouldnโt have said that,โ I finally conceded. โIt was a low blow, and Iโฆโ A muscle worked in my jaw.ย Dammit.ย โIโm sorry.โ
I spit out the words. It was the first time Iโd ever apologized to Jules, and I wanted to get it over as quickly as possible.
Just because I did the right thing didnโt mean I had to like it.
I braced myself for Julesโs gloating, but none came.
Instead, she just stared at me like I hadnโt spoken.
I forged ahead. โHowever, the clinicย isย important to me, and I donโt want ourโฆdifferences to get in the way of our work. So I propose a truce.โ
Proposing a truce might as well be surrendering, but I refused to let our animosity poison my time at the clinic. Everywhere else, fine. But not here.
Her brow wrinkled. โA truce.โ
โOnly when weโre in the clinic.โ I wasnโt naive enough to think we could uphold any semblance of peace outside a work environment. โNo insults, no snarky comments. We keep it professional. Deal?โ I held out my hand.
Jules eyed it like it was a coiled-up cobra waiting to strike.
โUnless, of course, you donโt think you can do it.โ
Satisfaction trickled through me when her lips thinned.
Iโd touched on a competitive nerve, as I knew I would.
She didnโt take her eyes off mine as she grasped my hand and squeezed. Hard.
Jesus.ย For someone so small, she was fucking strong.
โDeal,โ she said with a smile.
I smiled back through gritted teeth and squeezed even harder, relishing the way her nostrils flared at the pressure.
โExcellent.โ
Forget what I said about being bored.
This was going to be an interesting few months.