Rhys and I didnโt talk again on the plane, but heโd taken
my mind off my grandfatherโs situation enough I crashed after he left. I hadnโt slept a wink the night before, and I was out like a light for most of the flight.
When we landed, though, all my nerves came rushing back, and it was all I could do not to snap at the driver to go faster as we sped through downtown toward the hospital. Every second we spent at a red light felt like a second I was losing with my grandfather.
What if I missed seeing him alive by a minute, or two, or three?
A wave of lightheadedness hit me, and I had to close my eyes and force myself to take deep breaths so I didnโt drown beneath my anxiety.
When we finally arrived at the hospital, we found Markus, my grandfatherโs Private Secretary and right-hand man, waiting for us by the secret entrance they used for high-profile patients. Iโd spotted the crush of reporters outside the main entrance from the car, and the sight made my anxiety triple.
โHis Majesty is fine,โ Markus said when he saw me. He looked more disheveled than usual, which in Markusโs world meant one of his hairs was out of place and there
was a small, barely noticeable crease in his shirt. โHe woke up just before I came down.โ
โOh, thank God.โ I breathed a sigh of relief. If my grandfather was awake, things couldnโt beย tooย bad. Right?
We took the elevator to my grandfatherโs private suite, where I found Nikolai pacing the hall outside with a frown.
โHe kicked me out,โ he said by way of explanation. โHe said I was hovering too much.โ
I cracked a smile. โTypical.โ If there was one thing Edvard von Ascheberg III hated, it was being fussed over.
โYeah.โ Nikolai let out a half-resigned, half-relieved laugh before he swept me into a hug. โItโs good to see you, Bridge.โ
We didnโt see or talk to each other often. We lived different livesโNikolai as crown prince in Eldorra, me as a princess trying her best to pretend she wasnโt one in the U.S.โbut nothing bonded two people like a shared tragedy.
Then again, if that were true, we should be thick as thieves since our parentsโ deaths. But things hadnโt quite worked out that way.
โItโs good to see you too.โ I squeezed him tight before greeting his girlfriend. โHi, Sabrina.โ
โHi.โ She gave me a quick hug, her face warm with sympathy.
Sabrina was an American flight attendant Nikolai met during a flight to the U.S. Theyโd been dating for two years, and their relationship had generated a media firestorm when it first came to light. A prince dating a commoner? Tabloid heaven. Coverage had died down since then, partly because Nikolai and Sabrina kept their relationship under such tight wraps, but their pairing was still very much gossiped about in Athenberg society.
Perhaps that was why I felt such pressure to date someone โappropriate.โ I didnโt want to disappoint my grandfather, too. Heโd warmed up to Sabrina, but heโd had a conniption when he first found out about her.
โHeโs waiting for you inside.โ Nikolai flashed a lopsided grin. โJust donโt hover or heโll kick you out too.โ
I managed a laugh. โIโll keep that in mind.โ
โIโll wait here,โ Rhys said. He usually insisted on following me everywhere, but he seemed to know I needed alone time with my grandfather.
I gave him a grateful smile before I stepped into the hospital room.
Edvard was, as promised, awake and sitting up in bed, but the sight of him in a hospital gown and hooked up to machines brought back an onslaught of memories.
โDaddy, wake up! Please wake up!โ I sobbed, trying to break out of Elinโs grasp and run to his aside.โDaddy!โ
But no matter how loud I screamed or how hard I cried, he remained pale and unmoving. The machine next to his bed let out a flat, steady whine, and everyone in the room was yelling and running around except for my grandfather, who sat with his head lowered and shoulders shaking. Theyโd forced Nikolai to leave the room earlier, and now they were trying to get me to leave too, but I wouldnโt.
Not until Daddy woke up.
โDaddy, please.โ Iโd screamed myself hoarse, and my last plea came out as a whisper.
I didnโt understand. Heโd been okay a few hours ago. He went out to buy popcorn and candy because the palace kitchen ran out and he said it was silly to ask someone to fetch something he could easily get himself. He said when he got back, we would eat the popcorn and watchย Frozenย together.
But he never came back.
I overheard the doctors and nurses talking earlier. Something about his car and sudden impact. I didnโt know what it all meant, but I knew it wasnโt good.
And I knew Daddy was never, ever coming back.
I felt the burn of tears behind my eyes and a familiar tightening in my chest, but I pasted on a smile and tried not
to let my worry show.
โGrandpa.โ I rushed to Edvardโs side. Iโd called him Grandpa when I was a kid and never grew out of it, but now, I could only say it when we were alone because the address was too โinformalโ for a king.
โBridget.โ He looked pale and tired, but he mustered a weak smile. โYou didnโt have to fly all the way back here. Iโm fine.โ
โIโll believe it when the doctor tells me so.โ I squeezed his hand, the gesture as much reassurance for myself as it was for him.
โIโm the king,โ he harrumphed. โWhat I say, goes.โ โNot for medical matters.โ
Edvard sighed and grumbled, but he didnโt argue. Instead, he asked about New York, and I caught him up on everything Iโd been doing since I saw him last Christmas until he got tired and dozed off in the middle of my story about Louisโs unfortunate wine spill.
Heโd refused to tell me how he ended up in the hospital, but Nikolai and the doctors filled me in. Apparently, my grandfather had a rare, previously undiagnosed heart condition that was usually latent in patients until extreme stress or anxiety triggered it. In such cases, the condition could lead to sudden cardiac arrest and death.
I nearly had cardiac arrest myself when I heard that, but the doctors assured me my grandfatherโs case had been mild. Heโd fainted and had been unconscious for a while, but he didnโt need surgery, which was a good thing. However, the condition didnโt have a cure and he would need to make major lifestyle changes to reduce his stress levels if he didnโt want a more serious incident in the future.
I could only imagine Edvardโs response to that. He was a workaholic if there ever was one.
The doctors kept him in the hospital another three days for monitoring. Theyโd wanted to keep him a week, but he
refused. He said it would be bad for public morale, and he needed to get back to work. And when the king wanted something, no one refused him.
After he returned home, Nikolai and I tried our best to convince him to o๏ฌoad some responsibilities to his advisors, but he kept brushing us off.
Three weeks later, we were still at an impasse, and I was at my witsโ end.
โHeโs being stubborn.โ I couldnโt keep the frustration out of my voice as I guided my horse toward the back of the palace grounds. Edvard, sick of both Nikolai and I nagging him to heed the doctorโs warnings, had all but kicked us out of the palace for the afternoon.ย Get some sun,ย he said.ย And leave me to stress in peace.ย Nikolai and I had not been amused. โHe should at least cut back on the late-night calls.โ
โYou know how Grandfather is.โ Nikolai came up beside me on his own horse, his hair tousled from the wind. โHeโs more stubborn than you are.โ
โYou, callingย meย stubborn? Thatโs rich,โ I scoffed. โIf I recall correctly, youโre the one who went on a hunger strike for three days because Grandfather wouldnโt let you skydive with your friends.โ
Nikolai grinned. โIt worked, didnโt it? He caved before day three was over.โ My brother was the spitting image of our fatherโwheat-colored hair, blue eyes, square jawโand sometimes, the resemblance was so strong it made my heart hurt. โBesides, that was nothing compared to yourย insistenceย on living in America. Is our home country really that abhorrent?โ
There it is.ย Nothing like a beautiful fall day with a side of guilt. โYou know thatโs not why.โ
โBridget, I can count the number of times youโve been home in the past five years on one hand. I donโt see any other explanation.โ
โYou know I miss you and Grandfather. Itโs justโฆevery time Iโm homeโฆโ I tried to think of the best way to phrase it. โIโm under a microscope. Every single thing I do, wear, and say is dissected. I swear, the tabloids could turn meย breathingย wrong into a story. But in the U.S., no one cares as long as I donโt do anything crazy. I can just be normal. Or as normal as someone like me can get.โ
I canโt breathe here, Nik.
โI know itโs a lot,โ Nikolai said, his face softening. โBut we were born for this, and you grew up here. You didnโt have an issue with the attention before.โ
Yes, I did. I just never showed it.
โI was young.โ We came to a stop on our horses, and I stroked my horseโs mane, taking comfort in the familiar feel of its silky hair beneath my hand. โPeople werenโt as vicious when I was young, and that was before I went to college and experienced what being a normal girl feels like. It feelsโฆgood.โ
Nikolai stared at me with a strange expression. If I didnโt know better, I wouldโve sworn it was guilt, but that made no sense. What could he be guilty about?
โBridgeโฆโ
โWhat?โ My heart pounded faster. His tone, his expression, the tight set of his shoulders. Whatever he had to say, I wouldnโt like it.
He looked down. โYouโre going to hate me for this.โ I tightened my grip on my reins. โJust tell me.โ
โBefore I do, I want you to know I didnโt plan for this to happen,โ Nikolai said. โI never expected to meet Sabrina and fall in love with her, nor did I expect this is where weโd be two years later.โ
Confusion mingled with my apprehension.ย What does Sabrina have to do with this?
โI wanted to tell you earlier,โ he added. โBut then Grandfather got hospitalized and everything was so
crazyโฆโ His throat bobbed with a hard swallow. โBridge, I asked Sabrina to marry me. And she said yes.โ
Of everything Iโd expected him to say, that wasnโt it. Not by a long shot.
I didnโt know Sabrina well, but I liked her. She was sweet and funny and made my brother happy. That was enough for me. I didnโt understand why he would be nervous about telling me. โNik, thatโs amazing. Congratulations! Did you tell Grandfather already?โ
โYes.โ Nikolai was still watching me with a guilty look in his eyes.
My smile faded. โWas he upset? I know he wasnโt happy when you started dating becauseโโ I stopped. Icy fingers crawled down my spine as the pieces finally clicked. โWait,โ I said slowly. โYou canโt marry Sabrina. Sheโs not of noble blood.โ
That was the law talking, not me. Eldorraโs Royal Marriages Law stipulated the monarch must marry someone of noble birth. It was archaic but ironclad, and as the future king, Nikolai fell under the lawโs jurisdiction.
โNo,โ Nikolai said. โSheโs not.โ
I stared at him. It was so quiet I could hear the leaves rustle as they fluttered to the ground. โWhat are you saying?โ
Dread ballooned in my stomach, growing and growing until it squeezed all the air from my lungs.
โBridget, Iโm abdicating.โ
The balloon popped, leaving pieces of dread scattered throughout my body. My heart, my throat, my eyes and fingers and toes. I was so consumed by it I couldnโt speak for a good minute.
โNo.โ I blinked, hoping it would wake me up from my nightmare. It didnโt. โYouโre not. Youโre going to be king. Youโve been training for it all your life. You canโt just throw that away.โ
โBridgetโโ
โDonโt.โ Everything around me blurred, the colors of the leaves and sky and grass blending into one crazy, multicolored hellscape. โNik, how could you?โ
Normally, I could reason my way out of anything, but reason had fled, leaving me with nothing except pure emotion and a sickening sensation in my stomach.
I canโt be queen. Icanticanticant.
โYou think Iย wantย to do this?โ Nikolaiโs face tightened. โI know what a big deal it is. Iโve been agonizing over it forย months,ย trying to find loopholes and reasons I should walk away from Sabrina. But you know what Parliament is like. How traditional it is. They would never overturn the law, and Iโฆโ He sighed, suddenly looking much older than his twenty-seven years. โI canโt walk away from her, Bridge. I love her.โ
I closed my eyes. Of all the reasons Nikolai couldโve chosen for abdicating, heโd picked the one I couldnโt fault him for.
Iโd never been in love, but Iโd dreamt of it all my life. To find that grand, sweeping love, the kind worth giving up a kingdom for.
Nikolai had found his. How could I begrudge him something I would myself give up my soul for?
When I opened my eyes again, he was still there, sitting tall and proud on his horse. Looking every inch the king he would never be.
โWhen?โ I asked in a resigned tone.
A smidge of relief softened his expression. Heโd probably expected more of a fight, but the stress of the past month had drained all the fight out of me. It wouldnโt do any good, anyway. Once my brother set his mind on something, he didnโt back down.
Stubbornness ran in our entire family.
โWeโll wait until the furorโs died down over Grandfatherโs hospitalization. Maybe another month or two. You know how the news cycle is these days. Itโll be old
news by then. Weโll keep the engagement a secret until then too. Elinโs already working on a press statement and plan, andโโ
โWait.โ I held up one hand. โElinย already knows?โ
A pink flush stole over Nikolaiโs cheekbones when he realized his mistake. โI had toโโ
โWho else knows?โย Thud. Thud. Thud.ย My heart sounded abnormally loud to my ears. I wondered if I had a heart condition too, like my grandfather. I also wondered what would happen if Nikolai abdicated and I died right there in the saddle. โWho else did you tell before me?โ
I bit out the words. Each one tasted bitter, coated with betrayal.
โJust Elin, Grandfather, and Markus. Iย hadย to tell them.โ Nikolai didnโt back down from my glare. โElin and Markus have to get out in front of this, politically and press-wise. They need time.โ
A wild laugh emerged from my throat. Iโd never made such a feral sound in my life, and my brother flinched at the sound.
โTheyย need time?ย Iย need time, Nik!โย Freedom. Love. Choice.ย Things Iโd already had so little of, gone forever. Or they would be after Nikolai officially announced his abdication. โI need the two-and-a-half decades youโve already had, preparing you for the throne. I need not to feel like an afterthought in a decision thatโll change my entire life. I needโฆโย I need to get out of here.
Otherwise, I might do something crazy, like punch my brother in the face.
Iโd never punched a person before, but Iโd watched enough movies to get the gist.
Instead of finishing my sentence, I urged my horse into a canter, then a full-on gallop.ย Breathe. Just breathe.
โBridget, wait!โ
I ignored Nikolaiโs shout and spurred the horse faster until the trees whizzed by in a blur.
Bridget, Iโm abdicating.
His words echoed in my head, taunting me.
I had never, not once in my life, entertained the possibility Nikolai wouldnโt take over the throne. Heโdย wantedย to be king.ย Everyoneย had wanted him to be king. Heโd been ready.
Me? I didnโt think Iโd ever be ready.
When did Nikolai propose to Sabrina? How long had everyone known? Was his planned abdication part of the reason for Grandfatherโs collapse?
I didnโt remember seeing an engagement ring on Sabrinaโs finger at the hospital, but if they were keeping it under wraps until the announcement, she wouldnโt be wearing one.
I was in the dark about something that affected me more than anyone except Nikolai, and I was so consumed by my inner turmoil I didnโt notice the low-hanging branch speeding toward me until it was too late.
Pain exploded on my forehead. I fell off my horse and landed on the ground with a hardย thud,ย and the last thing I remembered seeing was the storm clouds roll in overhead before darkness swallowed me whole.
