Both Sidesย was completed a week before Sadieโs twenty-fifth birthday. Marx threw a party at the office to celebrate both occasions. The game had taken twenty-two months and likeย Ichigo,ย would come out in time for the holidays.
At the beginning of the night, Zoe had given Sadie a dose of Ecstasy. โThis is a great night,โ Zoe said. โI want to celebrate with my best friends.โ Sadie usually didnโt do anything but pot, but she was in such a good mood and momentarily free from responsibility, so she took it.
The X made Sadie less inhibited to where she could enjoy the accomplishment of finishingย Both Sides. She felt that sheโd never made a better game. Withย Both Sides,ย as opposed toย Ichigo,ย she felt that she had been able to push the boundaries, technically and narratively. And what was the point of making games if you werenโt going to do that? She felt sheโd reached a point where her ambitions and abilities were finally aligned. She was exhausted, as she always was after having made a game, but she had never felt more at peace with her own efforts. She felt in love with everyone in attendance at the party. She felt in love with Marx, who had been such a calming and wise presence at every step, and Zoe, who had written a moving and dramatic score for the game. She felt in love with her whole team of designers and coders. She felt in love with California. She forgave Dov and she felt less resentful of Sam.
Samโs work on the game had exceeded her expectations. When sheโd conceived of the game, she had thought the Mapletown story would be a clean frame on which the star attraction, Myre Landing, was mounted. Sam had surprised her. There was real depth to his side, and she had found herself in tears when she played Samโs side together with her side for the first time. As she played, she realized that the thing that gave the fantasy world of Myre Landing emotional resonance was Mapletown. The last few
months of the game had passed in such a blur that Sadie hadnโt had a chance to tell Sam how much she had liked his work. She was planning to take him aside tonight.
Though she was still resentful of him, they had fought less onย Both Sidesย than they had on either of theย Ichigos. When disagreements arose, he conceded quickly, and Sadie had concluded that Sam was disengaged. He could not bother to come to the office some days; he could not bother to fight. When Sadie saw the work he had done on Mapletown, she realized that he had more than conceded. Somehow, Sam was able to bend to her criticism in a way that he had never been able to before. There was a particular scene that they had briefly fought over. It was the penultimate scene on Mapletown, in which Alice Ma, who is as sick as she has ever been, discovers that Myre Landing is a game that she has been playing the whole time. Sam, at first, had argued that it would be better if Myre Landing wasnโt a game, but a book or a story that Alice Ma had been writing. He felt that it was too meta, too clever, if Myre Landing was a game, and that it would cause an unnecessary ludic dissonance in the gamer. But Sadie had held her ground, and Sam had conceded. He had rewritten the penultimate scene so that when we finally see Alice playing Myre Landing on her laptop (for the first time, Myre Landing is rendered as a screen within a screen), Alice loses the game. She dies in battle, as Rose the Mighty. The restart prompt of Myre Landing comes up:ย Ready for a new tomorrow, Paladin?ย Alice returns to the save point, and the second time she plays, she dies again. The restart prompt of Myre Landing comes up for the second time:ย Ready for a new tomorrow, Paladin?ย Alice returns to the save point, and she tries one more time. This time, she wins, and the final scene of the game is launched. It was Samโs idea that Alice should die twice in the game within a game before she could win the game properly. It was the inversion of the opening scene of Mapletown, in which moving forward meant giving up, and Sadie thought it was brilliant.
In a couple of weeks, she would be heading out on the road to promoteย Both Sides. Sam had a new girlfriendโsome girl from high schoolโand a dogโand he had said he didnโt want to travel for a while. Sadie would be
taking the lead for the interviews and the cons this time. She wanted to make things right with Sam before she headed out.
Sadie was still looking for Sam when Zoe asked Sadie and Marx to come up to the roof to look at the late September stars, which she promised were โspectacular, truth-telling stars.โ
On the roof, the view was as distant as ever, but the stars were clear. Zoe pointed up at the sky. โThat oneโs called Capricornus,โ Zoe said. โAnd thatโs Indus. And thatโs Cygnus the swan.โ
โHow can you tell?โ Sadie asked. โTo me, constellations never look like what theyโre supposed to be.โ
โHonestly, I donโt know which is which. I just know whatโs supposed to be up there in September,โ Zoe admitted.
โLook up there!โ Marx said, pointing his right arm and putting his other arm around Zoeโs shoulders. โItโs Smurfus! You can tell by the bluish tinge.โ
โAnd thatโs Gandalfus,โ Sadie said, joining in. โThe three stars represent the wizardโs hat.โ
โAnd thereโs Frodus and Bilbus Bagginsus,โ Marx said. โAnd Smeagolous looks like a ring,โ Sadie said.
โThe magical ring of Smeagolous.โ
โYou guys are being mean,โ Zoe said, but she was smiling.
โNo, this is a great game. Thatโs Cobainus. The eleven stars of Cobainus form a fuzzy grandma sweater,โ Marx said.
โAnd thatโs Donkey Kongus,โ Sadie said.
โHow lucky we are to see the ethereal necktie of the sky!โ Marx said. โBut I think technically, itโs known as Donkus Kongus.โ
โDonkus Kongus. I always mess that up,โ Sadie said. โI didnโt want to correct you,โ Marx said.
โNo, itโs good you should correct me when Iโm wrong,โ Sadie said.
Without warning, Zoe kissed Sadie on the mouth. โIs this okay?โ she asked. Zoe ran her fingers through Sadieโs hair.
Sadie looked at Marx. โIs it okay with you?โ
Marx nodded, and Zoe said, โWe donโt believe in ownership.โ Zoe kissed Sadie again. โYour lips are so soft. Marx you have to feel Sadieโs lips.โ
Marx shook his head. โIโll watch,โ he said, with a sly grin.
โMy favorite two people on the planet,โ Zoe said. โIโm so in love with both of you right now.โ
Zoe pulled Marx to her, and she held each of her friendsโ heads in her hands, and then she pushed the two of them together like dolls, and then she made the dolls kiss. The kiss lasted seven seconds, though it seemed longer to Sadie. Marx tasted like mint and the fruity Hefeweizen beer heโd been drinking and himself. She had expected kissing Marx to be strange, but it felt entirely natural, as if they kissed all the time. Sadie pulled back first, and Marx was laughing in his gentle way and covering his mouth with his elegant, long fingers.
โWas that weird?โ Marx said.
โIt was,โ Sadie said. โBut weโre on drugs so it doesnโt count.โ (Marx hadnโt been.) โIt felt like kissing my brother.โ (Sadie didnโt have a brother, just Alice, and it did not feel like kissing a sibling.)
โWe wonโt even remember it in the morning,โ Marx said. (They did.) Marx sighed, as if resigning himself to something. โI love you, Sadie,โ Marx said.
โI love you,โ Sadie said. She turned to Zoe. โWe love you, Zoe.โ
โYou guys, Iโm so in love with both of you right now,โ Zoe said. She put her arms around them. โI wanted to know what that would look like and now I do.โ She nodded to herself. Her eyes looked enormous and moist, and then, Zoe started to cry.
โNo, Zoe!โ Sadie said. She took Zoe in her arms. โYouโre not supposed to cry on X,โ Sadie said.
โHappy tears,โ Zoe said.