NOT A WOLF.ย EVEN IN A CROUCH,ย this animalโs head is nearly as high as I am tall. A tongue darts out between long, fanged teeth, and it prowls toward me one slow step at a time.
I have no weapons but my fickle magic and nowhere to hide but in a forest this creature undoubtedly knows better than I do.
The branches of an oak tree flare out above me, but the ones within my reach are spindly and look too weak to hold my weight. Several feet away is maple tree with sturdy lower branches. If I sprint and jump, I might be able to climb high enough before the wolf-thing can reach me.
A low snarl, and it creeps closer, as black as night, the promise of death in its eyes.
Take a deep breath and run, Brie.
Turning, I sprint forward, then cut to my left as fast as my dress will allow. The creature lunges toward me, moving too fast for something so massive. I jump, reaching as high as I can even as the feel of the beastโs breath warms the skin on the back of my neck. My fingertips brush the branch, and the bark bites into my skin as I grapple for a better grip.
I curl my fingers to claws, trying to hold on, but I slip. Time moves in slow motion as I fall toward to the forest floor and the beastโs snapping maw.
I kick hard, aiming to dislocate the creatureโs jaw and barely moving it.
Pain sears through me as those teeth sink into my calf, and I scream as the muscle is torn away.ย Iโm in over my head. Iโm nothing against this place.
Low growls sound behind the creature, and two wolves pounce on it. For one pain-blurred moment I think they might be trying to protect me, but Iโm delirious, and the rational part of my mind knows theyโre probably fighting for territory.
Or fresh meat.
I try to stand as the smaller wolves work together to attack the beast, but the moment I put weight on my injured leg, I collapse to the forest floor.
I use the tree to pull myself back up, and a horrific roar rips through the forest. The wolvesโ attention snaps away from the beast for one long beat before they turn and run . . . leaving me alone with the black, snarling
creature.
It moves slower nowโblood oozing from bites on its backโbut not slow enough to make up for my maimed leg. I scramble backwards, trying to put all my weight on my good side and crying out when I collapse again.
The beast lunges, jaws wide, and I know itโs coming for my neck. Before it can reach me, an invisible wind lifts it from the ground and throws it into a tree across the clearing.
The creature screeches and collapses on the forest floor with one final cry.
โAbriella.โ Sebastian is here, breathless. He scoops me up like Iโm weightless and cradles me in his arms. โBrie? Are you okay?โ
I nod against his chest, but Iโm not okay. The pain in my leg is so blinding, nausea rolls through me, but itโs nothing compared with the defeated ache in my chest. I am so unequipped to take on this vicious world.
โBrie, your leg.โ He shifts me in his arms, and I jerk away as he reaches for the wound. โShh. Be still.โ With a touch of his hand, the pain disappears.
Iโm shaking so hard, and I take deep breath after deep breath to calm myself.
Sebastian smooths my hair off my face, tucking the loose strands behind my ears, and I realize that heโs the one whoโs shaking. โI wanted to give you space, but I should have come after you. Iโm so sorry I didnโt come sooner.โ
I swallow. He looks . . . devastated. No matter how much his deception hurts, this is still Sebastian. Heโs broken my trust, but my feelings for him havenโt disappeared because of who his mother is. They havenโt vanished because he can wield magic from within himself more effectively than
anything he learned from Mage Trifen. โIโm okay.โ
He runs a finger across my cheek, and when he pulls it away, I see blood. โIโm taking you back to the palace to see my healers.โ
The pain is gone, but I feelย off,ย as if I am losing my balance and slipping from existence, whether from Sebastianโs magic or a reaction to the
creatureโs bite. I need help. I need healers. I nod and cast one last look toward the body of the beast.
โIโm sorry I didnโt come sooner,โ Sebastian says again. โIโm so sorry.โ
He carries me out of the forest to a clearing where a white stallion waits in the moonlight. Sebastianโs big hands are gentleโreverentโas he lifts me onto the horse. When he climbs on behind me, I relish the solid strength of him and the reassuring heat of his skin through his tunic. If I close my eyes, I can pretend weโre back in Fairscape and nothing has changed.
He wraps one arm around me, and taking the reins with his other hand, he urges the horse into a gallop.
With his breath in my ear, the steady beat of his heart against my back, the rhythm of the horse beneath me, my eyes grow heavier with every step.
Iโd slide off this horse if he werenโt holding me. My muscles refuse to
work. I melt into his heat, his protective embrace, and I resent myself for the weakness.
By the time we arrive at the castle, keeping my eyes open is a losing battle.
He positions my hands on the stallionโs neck. โHang on right there for a minute,โ he instructs. He swings off the horse and hops to the ground, immediately reaching for me. Even half conscious, with a numb leg, Iโm
aware of every point of contact as he pulls me into his arms. He smells like the salt of the sea and the leather of his vest and pants. I jostle against his
chest as he runs through the castle doors with me in his arms.
โAm I dying?โ I ask against his chest, but Iโm so tired thereโs no urgency behind my words.
โThe Barghestโs saliva is slowing your heart rate. If we donโt get you the antitoxin quickly . . .โ He runs faster, and I close my eyes, unable to muster the energy to worry. Iโm vaguely aware of the sound of people around us, quick steps on stone and doors opening and closing.
โA Barghest got her in the forestโโ he says. โCall the healer.โ
I open my eyes as a set of double doors opens before us and Sebastian
carries me to a large four-poster bed. The layers of soft white bedding look like something from a dream. I curl onto my side. I donโt care about
anything but sleep right now.
When I close my eyes, I see Jasalynโs smiling face, and grief rips through me.
โTell Jas Iโm sorry,โ I whisper.
โDonโtโโ He grips my shoulder in his warm, callused hand. โDonโt talk like that.โ
But doesnโt he know itโs true? I can feel death in the poison snaking its way through my veins. I open my mouth. I need to speak but canโt find the energy.
Promise me youโll find her.
My mouth wonโt form the words.
Sebastian grips my shoulder harder. โHold on, Brie.โ
I donโt know how long I lie there, fading in and out of consciousness. I hear Sebastian talking to someone. Maybe many someones. Commanding them to action, shouting when they move too slowly.
โSheโs lost a lot of blood,โ an unfamiliar voice says. โAnd the toxin is spreading. She might not be able to drink.โ
โAbriella . . .โ Sebastian says. That hand on my shoulder again. So warm.
So strong. My one safe place to land. Even now. โAbriella, I need you to drink this.โ
Glass against my lips. Warm liquid spills onto my tongue, down my chin. โSwallow, dammit! You have to swallow.โ
I choke, gag, and finally manage to swallow before my energy flags again and I go limp in his arms.
โGood,โ Sebastian murmurs. โGood girl.โ
โI need to heal this leg before she loses any more blood,โ the unfamiliar voice says.
โDo it,โ Sebastian snaps.
The scorching heat of healing hands pulls me back in time. Then and now blur together.ย Momโs voice. Sebastianโs. Wind chimes at midnight. A strangerโs promises.
My bedroom is ensconced in fireโmy body wrapped around Jasalyn, protecting her from flames that feel like they are eating me alive.
Iโm barely aware of Motherโs voice.ย Please save her.ย Thereโs a cost.
Iโll pay it. I want to open my eyes and tell her it will be okay, but I canโt. Her desperate silence is broken by a gasp that makes my heart ache.ย There has to be another way.
I do this for you.
My motherโs sobs fill my ears, and then the numbness fades away with the heat of healing hands on my burns.
Pain. Lashing, blinding, terrible pain.
A spool of cool relief. And . . . lifeโpumping through my veins and rushing through my limbs.
I spy my mother looking both relieved and wretched. As if sheโd sold a part of herself.
When I open my eyes, I almost expect to see my mother as she was the day I woke up nine years ago, healed from my burns. But sheโs not the one who sits in the chair by this unfamiliar bed. Itโs Sebastian, with his pointed ears and delicate fae grace. Heโs covered in blood, and his eyes are closed.
โBash?โ My throat is ravaged, and his name comes out broken.
Sebastian jerks awake and releases a long breath as he studies me. โItโs okay,โ he says softly, resting a hand on top of mine. โYouโre going to be okay. Iโm here.โ
Heโs here.ย And curse me but it feels good to know so completely that itโs true. For this moment at least, forย thisย set of struggles, Iโm not alone.
โThank you.โ My voice sounds scratchy. โHow long was I out?โ โOnly a few hours. How are you feeling?โ
โIโm fine.โ My stomach churns at the sight of the blood on him. Not on me, though. Iโm in a clean, light blue sleeping gown of the softest cotton.
Sebastian catches me studying the gown. โWe tried to save your dress, but it was covered in blood and shredded in places.โ
โYou dressed me?โ A silly question, really, given everything else. But the thought of him dressing me in sleep clothes and cleaning the blood off me
. . .
He shakes his head, and then his eyes go wide as he realizes what Iโm asking. โOne of the handmaids changed you. I didnโtโit wasnโtโI
wouldnโt . . .โ
If I werenโt so exhausted, I might laugh at the red creeping up his neck.
โI wasnโt worried about that,โ I say softly. Heโs taken such good care of me. โWere you hurt?โ
โNo.โ He waves a hand to indicate the bloodstains on his tunic. โThis was all yours, courtesy of the Barghest. Luckily, my healer was available when we arrived.โ
The room spins. I squeeze my eyes shut to still it, but the smell of blood fills my nose. Seeing it puts me back in that forest again. That wolflike
creature lunging toward me. โBarghest? Thatโs what that thing was?โ โSome call it the death dog.โ
โIs it from the Unseelie Court?โ
โThere are death dogs in all courts, but some of the more powerful
Unseelie have them as familiarsโanimals that have been magically tied to them and can do their unholy bidding.โ
Did Mordeus send that Barghest after me? No. That doesnโt make sense. If he truly wants me to retrieve the stolen artifacts for his court, he wouldnโt try to kill me with some mind-linked monster. But Finn . . . Did Finn attack me because I wouldnโt work with him? โWas that one bonded to an
Unseelie?โ
Sebastian shakes his head. โI donโt know.โ
โIf those wolves hadnโt shown up . . .โ I would have been dead. I catch another whiff of my blood and have to turn my face into the pillow. โIโm sorry . . . Do you have something you could change into?โ
He mutters a curse and jumps out of the chair. โOf course. Iโm sorry.โ He turns his back to me as he works the buttons on his shirt.
โWe need to talk,โ I say. โAbout what happens next.โ
Sebastian looks over his shoulder and meets my eyes. โYou should rest first.โ
I shake my head and force myself to sit up. Iโve shown more weakness
since coming to Faerie than I have in the last nine years, and it needs to stop now. โIโm fine.โ
โYouโre still recovering from a major injury. Donโt push it.โ He turns to me, bare-chested and . . . beautiful.
The room spins again.
I want to hate him like thisโhis true selfโbut despite everything, I still find Sebastian as alluring as I did that first day I saw him training in the
courtyard.
I force myself to look away from his sun-kissed skin and sculpted arms. โIโm well enough to talk, I think.โ I hear the sound of a drawer opening,
and when I turn back to him, heโs pulling a fresh shirt over his head.
I watch as the soft white fabric falls over his perfect golden skin. I hate that this attraction didnโt fade alongside the trust I lost when I found out the truth.
If my emotions were a mess before he rescued me in the woods, theyโre a disaster now.
He settles back in the chair by the bed and leans forward, elbows on his knees. โOkay. We can talk, if thatโs what you want.โ
โYou saved me.โ I swallow. The memory of my terror is still too close to the surface, and I shove it down. โThank you.โ
โIโm sorry I didnโt come sooner.โ
โI didnโt expect you to come at all.โ
He flinches, as if Iโd just smacked him. Then hangs his head. โI know you donโt like who I am, but it doesnโt change how I feel about you.โ
My guts twist. โI donโt like that youย liedย about who you are.โ
His jaw hardens. Blowing out a breath, he smooths back his white hair
and ties it with a strap of leather. โWhen should I have told you? I couldnโt let anyone in Elora know the truthโIโd have been crucified. And by the time we were friends and I knew you well enough to trust you with the information, youโd made it clear how you felt about my homeย andย my kind.โ He swallows. โMaybe it was selfish, but I couldnโt stand the idea of giving you up.โ
โWere you ever going to tell me? Or were you going to lie to me forever?
Was that the real reason you begged me not to go after Jas? Because you didnโt want me learning the truth?โ
โIย wantedย to tell you. So many times. But my reasons for wanting you to stay on your side of the portal were honest. This is a dangerous place for you.โ His gaze drops to my leg, and even though Iโm healed, in clean
clothes, and covered by blankets, I know heโs seeing the damage the
Barghest did. โDo you see now? Do you understand why it terrifies me to have you wandering around my world looking for your sister?โ
When he lifts his eyes back to mine, I hold his gaze. โI wonโt abandon her.โ
โIโm not asking you to. Iโm asking you to allowย meย to find her.โ When I donโt answer, he takes my hand and squeezes my fingers against his palm.
โIโve canceled my obligations for the day, and after you get some sleep, Iโll be escorting you home.โ
I jerk my hand away. โNo.โ
โYou could have died tonight. How would thatโve helped Jas?โ He
shakes his head. โWhen I find her, donโt make me tell her that sheโs lost her only family.โ
โBashโโ I close my eyes, remembering. โSorry. I mean,ย Prince Ronan.โ โDonโt.โ He shifts from the chair to the edge of bed, his warm thigh
against my side. โCall me Sebastian. Like you always have. Itโs still my nameโthe one I prefer, at least. No one calls me Prince Ronan but my servants and my subjects.โ
The modest apprentice I mooned over for two years hasย servantsย and
subjects.
I take a breath.ย Remember your deal with Mordeus. Remember what
youโre here to do.ย โOkay . . .ย Sebastian.ย I canโt go home. Gorstโs men are
after me, and itโs not safe for me there. Please let me stay. Iโll be careful, but donโt make me go home. Thereโs nothing for me there.โ Even if Gorstโs men werenโt looking for me, I wouldnโt go home without my sister, but maybe if I put the emphasis on my protection rather than rescuing Jas, heโll agree.
โI canโt protect you outside these palace walls.โ But he did tonight.
Against all odds, he was there when I needed him. โI understand,โ I whisper.
โBrie . . .โ
I can sense that heโs grasping for another argument to send me home. I look around his opulent bedchamber as if seeing it for the first time, as if I havenโt already explored nearly every inch of this castle. Iโve been in here before. I just didnโt know this was his room when I was searching it. โThis is a big place, and I wonโt get in the way. Canโt you find a little room for me? Isnโt there some way Iโd be allowed to stay?โ I can practically see him thinking it through. I hold my breath.
โThereโs only one way,โ he says. โI donโt think youโll like it.โ
I school my face into a mask of curiosity. I already know where this is going, and itโs exactly what I need. โTell me.โ
โThis morning I will select a dozen women to stay at the castle. Twelve women who want to . . . marry me.โ He nearly coughs on the words.
โPerhaps if I presented you to my mother as a potential bride . . .โ I see it on his face. Heโs waiting for me to shoot him down. He has no idea about my deal with King Mordeus or that Iย needย access to this castle, so of course heโd think Iโd hate the idea.
โWhat would I need to do?โ
He blows out a breath. โLearn about the court, go to some fussy dinners, maybe a party or two . . .โ He gives a shy smile, and for a moment he looks so vulnerable that I forget heโs not the human boy I fell for. โPretend you like me.โ
Part of me wishes I would have to pretend, but my conflicting emotions are all too real. โIf I acted like one of these potential brides, would I stay in the palace?โ
โYes. You would be in the guest wing with the other girls.โ
โAnd while Iโm hereโโwhile I look for the artifacts the king requires
โโyouโll look for Jas?โ
โYes, of course. Whether you stay or return to your home, Iโll search for her.โ He brushes his thumb across my knuckles, then rests it there. โYou have my word.โ
I stare at his hand on mine for a long time, pretending to think about his offer. In truth, it will chafe to watch him choose his bride, and being here will be a constant reminder of his deception and my feelings for him, however misguided. But it will all be worth it when I turn the relics over to the shadow king and take Jasalyn home. โI want to stay.โ
His brow furrows.
โWhatโs that look about?โ I ask.
โAfter you learned who I was and ran away, I didnโt think youโd want
anything to do with me. I thought Iโd lost you forever. You staying here . . .โ He shrugs. โMaybe it seems too good to be true.โ
I force myself to smile, but part of me is curling up in shame. If I stay, if I do this, Iโm not just deceiving some random prince. Iโll be deceiving my friend. I have reasons for my lies, but he had reasons for his too, and it didnโt make it hurt any less when I found out the truth.
I shake my head, trying to shrug off the tangle of emotions.
โTake the night,โ he says. โRest. Think it through. If youโre at my palace, I canโt allow you to sneak out and search for Jas. You have to decide if you can handle that.โ
โIโll be a prisoner?โ
โYouโll be protected.โ He toys with my hand, and the light touch of his fingertip against my palm sends a needy shiver through me. I blame it on conditioning, on habit. My body doesnโt understand that Sebastian isnโt who I thought he was. โI know itโs not your style to step back and let
someone else do the work, but I canโt bend on this. Itโs too dangerous. If youโll promise not to search for Jasโto leave that to meโIโll keep you here as long as I possibly can.โ
โOkay,โ I whisper. โThank you so much, Sebastian.โ
He tucks the blankets around me, but I can tell his thoughts are already elsewhere. โNow sleep.โ