best counter
Search
Report & Feedback

Chapter no 15

These Hollow Vows (These Hollow Vows, 1)

THE LATE EVENING BREEZE BLOWSย in my window, a cool relief after a hot day.

I feigned a headache and skipped dinner with the other girls tonight. Iโ€™m mentally exhausted after my little training session with Finn, but I could have managed a couple more hours before retiring. In truth, I donโ€™t want to see all the other girls fawning all over Sebastian. I donโ€™t want to see him flirting with them. I donโ€™t want to see him smiling at them the way he used to smile at me, and I donโ€™t want to think about him having a future with one of them.

Iโ€™m staring into the star-studded night sky when someone raps on my door.ย Three taps. Pause. Two taps.

I smile at Sebastianโ€™s signature knock. โ€œCome in.โ€

The door cracks, and he sticks his head in. โ€œAre you alone?โ€ I nod. โ€œMy maids have left for the night.โ€

He pushes the rest of the way into the room. Heโ€™s in russet leather pants and a white tunic thatโ€™s open at his neck, showing off the golden skin of his chest. His white hair hangs loose around his shoulders, and his smile makes my chest squeeze with longing for things I canโ€™t have and shouldnโ€™t want.

He pulls something from behind his back with a flourish, and my eyes widen as I take in the silver gilded mirror. Itโ€™s a match to the one I have waiting under my mattress. โ€œIs that . . . is that really it?โ€

โ€œThe Mirror of Discovery.โ€ Holding it in both hands, he extends it toward me.

As I wrap my fingers around the cool metal, my heart races.ย Iโ€™m one step closer, Jas.

โ€œYou look . . . awed,โ€ he says.

I pull my eyes off my own reflection and look at him. โ€œWho wouldnโ€™t be?โ€

He smiles shyly. โ€œYou surprise me. Youโ€™ve always spoken so poorly

about my world. I never expected you to be interested in our holy relics.โ€

Right.ย I swallow. โ€œI guess the longer Iโ€™ve been here, the more interested I am in understanding your realm?โ€ I canโ€™t manage to keep it from sounding

like a question.

Heโ€™s silent for a long beat. I give him an awkward smile and start to turn away when he says, โ€œIs it so awful?โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€

He extends his hands to the sides, indicating the room, the palace, maybe his whole court. โ€œBeing here. I know you never wanted to come, but are you . . .ย unhappy?โ€

โ€œI wonโ€™t be happy until Jasalyn is safe.โ€

He ducks his head and rubs the back of his neck. โ€œOf course not. I understand that.โ€

I am the worst.ย โ€œIโ€™m sorry, Sebastian. I didnโ€™t mean . . .โ€

His expression turns tortured as he asks, โ€œDidnโ€™t you?โ€ I open my mouth to object, and he holds up a hand. โ€œDo you want to try it?โ€ He nods to the mirror. I hadnโ€™t realized Iโ€™d clutched against my chest.

Swallowing, I extend the mirror and study my reflection. Iโ€™d asked my maids to leave my hair down tonight, and my curls are a wild mess around my face, not the tamed, perfect curls they form them into when dressing me for the day. But my face . . . my face has changed since I arrived in this realm nine days ago. Itโ€™s benefited from plentiful nutrition and regular

sleep. The dark circles under my eyes have faded, and my cheeks are no longer so hollow. Iโ€™ve thrived here, but what about Jas? Until this moment, I didnโ€™t realize I was scared to know the answer to that question. โ€œHow does it work?โ€

โ€œIt shows you what you want to see. Or should. I donโ€™t know that a mortal has ever used it.โ€ His eyes soften, and he nods in encouragement. โ€œTell it what to show you.โ€

โ€œShow me Jasalyn,โ€ I say softly.

The air around the mirror shimmers with magic, and it seems to vibrate in my hand as my reflection fades away. The glass shows me a lavish bedchamber. Itโ€™s like looking through a window. Jasalyn sits at a vanity,

smiling at her reflection as her maids brush her hair. The sound that slips from my lips is half cry, half gasp. She looksย well.ย Her cheeks are flushed with laughter, and her face has grown fuller, as if she, like me, has eaten better while in Faerie than ever before.

โ€œI miss my sister,โ€ Jas says, smiling at her maids. โ€œShe would love you two.โ€

The one brushing her hair meets her eyes in the mirror and smiles. โ€œIโ€™ve no doubt you will be reunited soon.โ€

Jas bites her bottom lip. โ€œI hope so. I have so much to tell her.โ€ The image fades, and I see myself in the mirror again.

โ€œSo?โ€

I drag my gaze up, and Sebastianโ€™s looking at me expectantly. โ€œYou didnโ€™t hear that?โ€ I ask.

He shakes his head. โ€œI canโ€™t see what you see. And if I hold it, you wouldnโ€™t be able to see what I see. Did it work?โ€

I nod, and I donโ€™t bother to hide the smile that stretches across my face. โ€œSheโ€™s okay. She misses me, but sheโ€™s well and seems comfortable. Sheโ€™s notโ€โ€”my throat tightens, and it feels like I have to push the word out through the smallest spaceโ€”โ€œalone.โ€

Sebastian releases a breath. โ€œGood,โ€ he murmurs, almost to himself. โ€œSo we have some time.โ€

I clutch the mirror to my chest again. โ€œThank you, Sebastian. Thank you so much for this.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re welcome,โ€ he says softly. โ€œI just want you to be happy here, to feel safe and trust that Iโ€™m doing everything in my power to get Jas back.โ€ He steps forward, his eyes intent on my face, and my heart pounds. โ€œWill you take a walk with me?โ€

I draw in a deep breath. โ€œSure.โ€ I tell myself Iโ€™m just giving him the

attention he needs so heโ€™ll let me stay, tell myself Iโ€™m doing what I need to prepare to retrieve the next relic for the king, but Iโ€™ve missed Sebastian over the last few days. I havenโ€™t seen him since I visited him in the training ring and asked for the mirror. Iโ€™ve been with Pretha while heโ€™s been gods know where, and Iโ€™ve missed his reassuring smiles. His warmth.

I lift the mirror. โ€œIโ€™ll leave this here so no one sees it.โ€ He nods. โ€œOf course.โ€

I pull open a drawer in my bureau and place the mirror gently inside. I notice my sleep clothes, and self-consciousness straightens my spine. โ€œI should probably get dressed.โ€

โ€œYou look fine.โ€

Iโ€™m dressed for the hot summer night in loose, flowing pink pants that sit low on my hips and a matching scoop-necked sleep shirt that leaves my

arms bare and is nothing but soft lace across my midriff. I arch a brow.

โ€œWonโ€™t the servants think itโ€™s odd for me to be walking with their prince in my pajamas? Anyway, Iโ€™m a mess.โ€

His gaze drifts over me as slowly as a caress. โ€œYouโ€™re beautiful no matter what you wear.โ€ Warmth flares in my cheeks and pools low in my belly. He steps closer, and every cell stands at attention. โ€œIf youโ€™d like, I could glamour us so no one can see.โ€

โ€œYou . . . you can do that?โ€ Aside from his attack on the Barghest and numbing my wound afterward, I havenโ€™t seen Sebastian use much of his fae magic.

Grinning, he snaps his fingers. โ€œItโ€™s done.โ€ I frown. โ€œBut I can still see you.โ€

โ€œAnd I you.โ€ His eyes skim over me slowly, as if to say he wouldnโ€™t have it any other way. โ€œBut no one will see us or hear us when we speak. Do you trust me?โ€

Itโ€™s a loaded question, and one I canโ€™t answer yet. Before I came here and found out who he was, I trusted him implicitly, and then he broke that trust.

But now? He gave me the mirror so I could check on Jas, and heโ€™s

searching for her. It would be easy to trust him again. Maybe too easy.

As if sensing the direction of my thoughts, he lifts his chin. โ€œWeโ€™ll get there. Iโ€™ll earn it back. I promise you.โ€ He offers a hand, and I take it, aware of the warmth of his skin and the roughness of his fingers twining between mine.

We walk into the hall, hand in hand, past sentries and servants putting the palace to bed for the night. No one sees through Sebastianโ€™s glamour, and I have to wonder what heโ€™d think if he knew I could do this tooโ€”if less

effectively and inconsistently. Once, he would have been the first person Iโ€™d want to talk to about my powers. Now Iโ€™m grateful I didnโ€™t recognize them for what they were back in Fairscape. I wouldโ€™ve told him, and my tasks here wouldnโ€™t have been possible.

โ€œCare to walk through the gardens?โ€ he asks.

I bite my lip and drop a glance to my bare feet. โ€œShould I go back up for some shoes?โ€

โ€œThe gardens are pristine. Itโ€™s perfectly safe to walk barefoot.โ€

In truth, I can think of nothing lovelier than a moonlight walk on a warm night, the feel of the cool grass between my toes. I squeeze his hand and let him lead me through a pair of glass doors into a massive courtyard garden.

There are countless like it around the palace, and Iโ€™ve passed this one, but I havenโ€™t visited before.

We wander to the center of the garden, and I pause under the sliver of a waning crescent moon. Closing my eyes, I breathe in through my nose, filling my head with the scent of roses and lilies. Iโ€™d almost swear I can

smell the moonlight.

When I open my eyes, Sebastian is watching me. โ€œWhat?โ€ I ask, feeling a little foolish.

He swallows. โ€œI love seeing you let go like that. You donโ€™t do it often, but when you do . . .โ€ He lifts a hand and touches my neck. โ€œYouโ€™re breathtaking.โ€ His fingers linger at my ear, and for a beat, I think he might slide them into my hair . . . might finally lower his mouth to mine again.

But he pulls away and turns to study a fountain thatโ€™s gurgling in the center of a bed of roses.

Disappointment tugs at me. I bow my head, trying to pull it together and remind myself what I wantโ€”what Iย needย from Sebastianโ€”and itโ€™s not a kiss.

โ€œI know you never wanted a life in Faerie,โ€ Sebastian says, still watching the fountain. โ€œBut . . . I need to know if you think you could be happy here. I need to know if . . . if I could be lucky enough to talk you into a life with me.โ€

A life with him. In Faerie. Forever. Is he asking me to live as a pampered princess, locked up in her castle and ignoring the many human servants who make that life possible? Even if the servants at the Golden Palace have a better life than I ever could have imagined, how can I be part of a world that treats so many humans as commodities?

Is Finn right to think Iโ€™d be so easily swayed to accept this life?

No. Even if part of me wants Sebastian againโ€”still?โ€”thatโ€™s not the life I want.

But if I want to stay in the castle, I might need to make Sebastian think I could want it. Even if lying to him crushes something fragile in my chest. โ€œThis is hard for me,โ€ I whisper, and the truth of those words resonates in my voice. โ€œI would be lying if I told you Iโ€™m ready to accept a life in Faerie.โ€

He bows his head. I wish heโ€™d look at me.

โ€œBut I donโ€™t want to leave you either,โ€ I say. And even this is true, I realize. โ€œCan you give me some time?โ€

Finally he turns and lifts his head, those sea-green eyes seeming to look right inside me. โ€œI can do that. If youโ€™re willing truly to consider a life here.โ€

My heart pumps hard, sending guilt trickling into my blood. I give him as much truth at I can. โ€œItโ€™s easy to imagine a life withย you,ย Bash. Itโ€™s the other parts that are hard for me.โ€

He shakes his head, and thereโ€™s something like wonder in his eyes. โ€œThank you.โ€

โ€œFor what?โ€

โ€œFor forgiving me. For being here with me now. I donโ€™t take this for granted.โ€

I swallow.ย I donโ€™t deserve you. You shouldnโ€™t trust me.

When he takes my hand again, he leads me to a stone bench where we sit together, soaking in the moonlight, talking of nothing, and smelling the flowers. The night has always been my favorite time, but nighttime in Faerie makes my power tingle beneath my skin, makes me feel like I could fly. And here next to Sebastian, it feels like I could beย happy.

โ€œMy mother loves these gardens,โ€ he says. โ€œWhen she was younger, she spent every minute she could among the flowers. Father would find her out here in the middle of the night and drag her to bed.โ€

โ€œYour mother mentioned your father when I went before her. She said you got your tender heart from King Castan. I bet heโ€™d be proud of you.โ€

Sebastian bows his head. โ€œI like to think that.โ€ โ€œWhat happened to him?โ€

โ€œHe was killed in an assassination attempt on my mother several years ago.โ€

I gasp. โ€œBy whom?โ€

โ€œA group of fae that defected from our court and took up arms with the Unseelie.โ€

I shiver in the breeze, but itโ€™s guilt and not the balmy air that has my skin prickling. I shouldnโ€™t waste my time worrying whether I want a future with Sebastian. If he knew I was working with the Unseelie prince and his misfit band of friends, that future would be off the table. โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ I whisper, but I know that an apology isnโ€™t enough for this kind of deception.

He sighs. โ€œThe war might be over, but the tensions between our courts are higher than ever. There are some who believe the solution is in taking out the monarchies of both courts and starting over.โ€

โ€œWhat do you believe?โ€

He studies me for a long beat. โ€œI believe change is coming. And that the right leader could unite both courts.โ€ Shaking his head, he stands. โ€œThatโ€™s enough political talk for one night. Letโ€™s get you inside.โ€

Iโ€™m quiet as we head back into the palace. I immediately miss the night air and the solitude of the courtyard.

Just inside, a group of girls dressed in slinky gowns head toward the ballroom. Since the queenโ€™s away and my attendance isnโ€™t required, Iโ€™d forgotten that there was a dance tonight. My maids are probably already in my chambers, waiting to see if my headache has improved so they can dress me like a doll.

โ€œShouldnโ€™t you be joining them?โ€ I ask Sebastian, hoping he doesnโ€™t notice the jealous edge to my voice.

He cuts his eyes to me. โ€œI think we both know Iโ€™d rather spend my night with you.โ€

There go those stomach butterflies again, but I ignore the sensation and bump him with my shoulder. โ€œYouโ€™re a shameless flirt.โ€ I bite my lip, trying to hold back the question thatโ€™s been bothering me all day.

โ€œWhat?โ€ he asks. โ€œI know that look. What are you thinking?โ€ Heโ€™s

smiling as he tucks my arm under his and leads me to the kitchen. When he looks at me like that, itโ€™s so easy to see the boy I knew from home. So easy to forget everything else.

โ€œYou said you were planning to come back to Fairscape for me.โ€

โ€œI meant it, too.โ€ He pushes into the kitchen. Itโ€™s empty, like the last time we were here, but the smell of tonightโ€™s roasted chicken, squash, and stew hangs in the airโ€”a bittersweet reminder of how pampered this life is.

โ€œHow would that have even worked, Bash? Were you planning to come home, pick a wife, and then return to Fairscape for me as a married man?โ€

He rolls his shoulders back. โ€œIโ€™m hungry. Are you?โ€ โ€œDonโ€™t avoid the question.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m not. But I need something to eat.โ€ He smiles and waves a finger toward the large cooler against the wall. โ€œWe have ice cream. Itโ€™s fresh.โ€

My mouth waters. I remember ice cream from my childhood. Itโ€™s not a

common treat in Fairscape. Fresh milk is expensive, and once the ice cream is made, you have to eat it right away, but the richest households in Elora have iceboxes where they always have frozen treats on hand. Is that what itโ€™s like to live in Faerie? Ice cream in every kitchen? Ending each day with that creamy sweetness melting on your tongue? I arch a brow and pretend Iโ€™m thinking about it rather than revealing that Iโ€™m already drooling. โ€œWhat flavor?โ€

โ€œWe have many flavors, but if I recall, chocolate anything is your favorite.โ€

Those words make me feel vulnerable, and for some reason they make me suddenly aware of my nightclothes and bare feet. Sebastian brought me chocolate for my birthday last year. Just a small portion purchased from one of the vendors at the market. It was such an indulgence, and it felt like too much, but the thoughtfulness of the gesture had made me fall even harder for him. โ€œChocolate sounds good.โ€

He takes out two bowls and spoons, and I laugh. He flashes me a grin. โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œWhen it comes to tedious tasks like scooping ice cream, I always imagined faeries would use their powers.โ€ย Or their servants.

โ€œThat would just be showing off,โ€ he says, winking.

And if magic is life the way Finn described, maybe they donโ€™t use it so carelessly.

Sebastian scoops a hearty serving of chocolate ice cream into each bowl before handing one to me.

We eat in silence, leaning against opposite counters like we did with our tea, and my bowl is half empty before he speaks again. โ€œI planned to come back once I was in a position to free you from that contract. To be honest, I never let myself think it through too far. I knew youโ€™d hate me when you learned who I was, but I promised myself that as soon as I had the power, I would help whether you wanted me to or not.โ€

I want to point out that heโ€™s a prince, to ask why he didnโ€™t help us sooner, but given all heโ€™s done for me, that seems like the question of an ungrateful brat. Instead I stir my melting ice cream in my bowl. โ€œWhen we get Jas back, can you find a way for her to stay here for a while? Maybe not right

away, since you might still be in the middle of picking a bride, but . . .

eventually? I want her to know what this is like, and when we return to the human realm, I wonโ€™t be able to provide her with anything close.โ€

I sense rather than see Sebastian step close to me. With one finger, he tilts up my chin so Iโ€™m looking at him. โ€œWhen I am king, you and your sister

will have an open invitation to stay at the palace.โ€ The rest hangs unsaid in the air: if I become his bride, I wonโ€™t have to wait until heโ€™s king. And maybe . . . maybe if Iโ€™m honest with myself, the possibility would be tempting. If it werenโ€™t for my bargain.

I finish my ice cream in silence, stuck in the loop of my own thoughts.

When Iโ€™m finished, Sebastian puts our dishes in the sink and walks me back to my bedroom.

โ€œThank you for tonight,โ€ he says when we stop outside my door. โ€œIt was good to have you to myself, even if the minutes went too fast.โ€

โ€œIt was really nice,โ€ I admit. โ€œThank you.โ€

He drops his gaze to my mouth and his lips part.

Finnโ€™s words ring in my ears.ย Youโ€™re a few sweet promises and tender moments away from being that boyโ€™s bride, and everyone knows it.

I step back. โ€œGood night, Sebastian.โ€

 

 

I sleep with the mirror under my pillow and half expect Mordeusโ€™s goblin to show up in my room during the night. He doesnโ€™t.

After breakfast the next day I feign another headache as an excuse to miss training with my โ€œtutorโ€ and wait in my room with the mirror. I want to get this to the king as soon as possible so that I can start looking for

whateverโ€™s next.

But it seems that Mordeusโ€™s goblin operates on his own schedule.

I spend a lot of time using the mirror to see Jas, and as I lounge in bed waiting for the goblin, I allow myself to look again. Sheโ€™s sewing today, sipping tea, and laughing with her attendants.

I close my eyes and clutch the mirror to my chest. Could she really be so well cared for? I want to believe, but thereโ€™s a niggling warning in the back of my mind that says I shouldnโ€™t be quite so willing to trust this magic.

Even Sebastian wasnโ€™t sure it would work for me. How does he know I can trust what I saw? I need to know if Jas is okay.

I sit up in bed. This doesnโ€™t have to be complicated. I still have the mirror, so I can test it.

โ€œShow me Sebastian.โ€

My reflection fades away, and Iโ€™m looking at the golden prince. Heโ€™s

sitting at his desk in his chambers, his expression serious as he focuses on the book before him.

I jump off the bed and swap the mirror for the fake before rushing across the palace.

Halfway there, I second-guess myself. What if he moves before I make it to him? What if he recognizes the mirror Iโ€™m returning as a fake? With each doubt, I move faster, and by the time I get to his door, Iโ€™m out of breath.

When the sentry posted outside Sebastianโ€™s chambers spots me, he smiles and bows his head. โ€œLady Abriella.โ€

โ€œHeโ€™s here?โ€

The sentry nods. โ€œYes, milady. I can show you right in. He said youโ€™re always welcome.โ€ He opens the door for me, and I step inside. I havenโ€™t been here since the night I was attacked by the Barghest. Iโ€™m more

accustomed to the castleโ€™s opulence now, but even so, I never had the

chance to fully appreciate the beauty of his room that nightโ€”the dark wood furniture, the sitting area as large as Madame Viviasโ€™s entire main floor, the floor-to-ceiling windows that line the far wall.

I find Sebastian at his desk, looking just as he did in the mirror, and I nearly melt with relief. It works.ย Jas is okay.

Sebastian looks up from his books and smiles at me. โ€œHey, you.โ€

I donโ€™t bother trying to hide my grin. Knowing that Jas is well cared for is a massive weight off my shoulders. I want to dance. โ€œHey.โ€

He closes the book he was reading and pushes out of his chair. โ€œThe servants said you were ill and canceled with your tutor today. Are you okay?โ€

I nod, giddy. โ€œI was just tired.โ€

He tucks the shorter lock of hair from my face behind my ear. It wonโ€™t

stay, but I donโ€™t think he minds the excuse to touch me. โ€œI kept you out too late. Iโ€™m sorry.โ€

โ€œDonโ€™t apologize.โ€ I extend the replica mirror toward him. โ€œI forgot to give this back to you last night.โ€

โ€œRight. I was . . . distracted.โ€ He smiles and takes it from me, his fingers brushing mine. โ€œI hate to cut this short when I have you to myself again, but I have a meeting I need to get to.โ€

I step back. โ€œOf course. Iโ€™m sorry. I didnโ€™t mean to keep you.โ€

โ€œI have a lead on Jas.โ€ He puts the mirror in a drawer. โ€œI need to meet with one of my sources.โ€

โ€œWhat will you do if you figure out where she is?โ€

His sea-green eyes turn icy. โ€œWhatever I have to do.โ€

My heart squeezes. Iโ€™ll keep doing what I must to free Jas, but if Sebastian can somehow free her before Iโ€™ve retrieved all three items, all the better. โ€œBe careful,โ€ I whisper. โ€œIโ€™ve heard that the king is cunning and can turn your own people against you. Watch your back.โ€

โ€œCareful?โ€ He cups my face in one big hand and smiles down on me. โ€œCould Abriella Kincaid possibly care about the fate of a wicked faerie?โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re not wicked,โ€ I say. Then I back out of the room quickly because I do care. I care too much.

 

 

I wish I knew how to contact the king. Iโ€™ve spent most of the day alone in my room, and his goblin hasnโ€™t shown up to take the mirror. Thinking that maybe the goblin canโ€™t come into the castle, I tell my maids I want to take a walk.

Heading out to the castle grounds and through the gardens, I wander to the area where Mordeusโ€™s goblin left me before.

I search. I pace. I lie on the grass and stare at the clouds, letting the setting sun warm my face.

He doesnโ€™t come.

You'll Also Like