โThe High King is restored to his own chamber so he may rest. I feed my bloodstained dress to the fire, put on a robe, and plan. If none of the courtiers saw my face before Balekin sent them away, then wrapped in my cloak, I might not have been identified. And, of course, I can lie. But the question of how to avoid blame for the murder of the Underseaโs ambassador pales beside the question of what to do about Madoc.โ
With half of the army gone along with the general, if Orlagh decides to strike, I have no idea how to repel her. Cardan will have to choose another Grand General and quickly.
And he will have to inform the lower Courts of Madocโs defection, to make sure it is known he doesnโt speak with the voice of the High King. There must be a way to drive him back to the High Court. He is proud but practical. Perhaps the answer lies in something to do with Oak. Perhaps it means I ought to make my hopes for Oakโs rule less opaque. But all that depends on his not being seen as a traitor, although he is one. I am thinking over all this when a knock comes to my door.
Outside, a messenger, a lilac-skinned girl in royal livery. โThe High King requires your presence. I am to conduct you to his chambers.โ
I take an unsteady breath. No one else might have seen me, but Cardan cannot fail to guess. He knows whom I went to meet and how late I returned from that meeting. He saw the blood on my sleeve.ย You command the High King, not the other way around, I remind myself, but the reminder feels hollow.
โLet me change,โ I say.
The messenger shakes her head. โThe king made it clear I was to ask you to come at once.โ
When I get to the royal chambers, I find Cardan alone, dressed simply, sitting in a throne-like chair. He looks wan, and his eyes still shine a bit too much, as though maybe poison lingers in his blood.
โPlease,โ he says. โSit.โ Warily, I do.
โOnce, you had a proposal for me,โ he says. โNow I have one for you.
Give me back my will. Give me back my freedom.โ
I suck in a breath. Iโm surprised, although I guess I shouldnโt be. No one wants to be under the control of another person, although the balance of power between us, in my view, has careened back and forth, despite his vow. My having command of him has felt like balancing a knife on its point, nearly impossible and probably dangerous. To give it up would mean giving up any semblance of power. It would be giving upย everything. โYou know I wonโt do that.โ
He doesnโt seem particularly put off by my refusal. โHear me out. What you want from me is obedience for longer than a year and a day. More than half your time is gone. Are you ready to put Oak on the throne?โ
I donโt speak for a moment, hoping he might think his question was rhetorical. When it becomes clear thatโs not the case, I shake my head.
โAnd so you thought to extend my vow. Just how were you imagining doing that?โ
Again, I have no answer. Certainly no good one.
Itโs his turn to smile. โYou thought I had nothing to bargain with.โ
Underestimating him is a problem Iโve had before, and I fear will have again. โWhat bargain is possible?โ I ask. โWhen what I want is for you to make the vow again, for at least another year, if not a decade, and what you want is for me to rescind the vow entirely?โ
โYour father and sister tricked me,โ Cardan says. โIf Taryn had given me a command, I would have known it wasnโt you. But I was sick and tired and didnโt want to refuse you. I didnโt even ask why, Jude. I wanted to show you that you could trust me, that you didnโt need to give me orders for me to do things. I wanted to show you that I believed youโd thought it all through. But thatโs no way to rule. And itโs not really even trust, when someone can order you to do it anyway.
โFaerie suffered with us at each otherโs throats. You attempted to make me do what you thought needed to be done, and if we disagreed, we could do nothing but manipulate each other. That wasnโt working, but simply giving in
is no solution. We cannot continue like this. Tonight is proof of that. I need to make my own decisions.โ
โYou said you didnโt mind so much, listening to my orders.โ Itโs a paltry attempt at humor, and he doesnโt smile.
Instead, he looks away, as though he canโt quite meet my eyes. โAll the more reason not to allow myself that luxury. You made me the High King, Jude. Let meย beย the High King.โ
I fold my arms protectively over my chest. โAnd what will I be? Your servant?โ I hate that heโs making sense, because there is no way I can give him what heโs asking. I canโt step aside, not with Madoc out there, not with so many threats. And yet I cannot help recalling what the Bomb said about Cardanโs not knowing how to invoke his connection to the land. Or what the Roach said, about Cardanโs thinking of himself as a spy pretending to be a monarch.
โMarry me,โ he says. โBecome the Queen of Elfhame.โ
I feel a kind of cold shock come over me, as though someone has told a particularly cruel joke, with me its target. As though someone looked into my heart and saw the most ridiculous, most childish desire there and used it against me. โBut you canโt.โ
โIย can,โ he says. โKings and queens donโt often marry for something other than a political alliance, true, but consider this a version of that. And were you queen, you wouldnโt need my obedience. You could issue all your own orders. And I would be free.โ
I canโt help thinking of how mere months ago I fought for a place in the Court, hoping desperately for knighthood and didnโt even get that.
The irony that itโs Cardan, who insisted that I didnโt belong in Faerie at all, offering meย thisย makes it all the more shocking.
He goes on. โMoreover, since you plan on forcing me into abdicating for your brother, itโs not as though weโd be married forever. Marriages between kings and queens must last as long as they rule, but in our case, thatโs not so long. You could have everything you want at the price of merely releasing me from my vow of obedience.โ
My heart is pounding so hard that I fear it will stutter to a stop. โYouโre serious?โ I manage.
โOf course I am. In earnest as well.โ
I look for the trick, because this must be one of those faerie bargains that sound like one thing but turn out to be something very different. โSo let me guess, you want me to release you from your vow for your promise to marry me? But then the marriage will take place in the month of never when the moon rises in the west and the tides flow backward.โ
He shakes his head, laughing. โIf you agree, I will marry you tonight,โ he says. โNow, even. Right here. We exchange vows, and it is done. This is no mortal marriage, to require being presided over and witnessed. I cannot lie. I cannot deny you.โ
โItโs not long until your vow is up,โ I say, because the idea of taking what heโs offeringโthe idea that I could not only be part of the Court, but the head of itโis so tempting that itโs hard to believe it might not be a trap. โSurely the idea of a few more months tied to me canโt be such a hardship that youโd like to tie yourself to me for years.โ
โAs I said before, a lot can happen in a year and a day. Much has happened in half that time.โ
We sit silently for a moment as I try to think. For the last seven months, the question of what would happen after a year and a day has haunted me. This is aย solution, but it doesnโt feel at all practical. Itโs the stuff of absurd daydream, imagined while dozing in a mossy glen, too embarrassing to even confess to my sisters.
Mortal girls do not become queens of Faerieland.
I imagine what it would be like to have my own crown, my own power. Maybe I wouldnโt have to be afraid to love him. Maybe it would be okay. Maybe I wouldnโt have to be scared of all the things Iโve been scared of my whole life, of being diminished and weak and lesser. Maybe I would become a little bit magic.
โYes,โ I say, but my voice fails me. It comes out all breath. โYes.โ
He leans forward in the chair, eyebrows raised, but he doesnโt wear his usual arrogant mien. I cannot read his expression. โTo what are you agreeing?โ
โOkay,โ I say. โIโll do it. Iโll marry you.โ
He gives me a wicked grin. โI had no idea it would be such a sacrifice.โ Frustrated, I flop over on the couch. โThatโs not what I mean.โ
โMarriage to the High King of Elfhame is largely thought to be a prize, a honor of which few are worthy.โ
I suppose his sincerity could last but only so long. I roll my eyes, grateful that heโs acting like himself again, so I can better pretend not to be overawed by whatโs about to happen. โSo what do we do?โ
I think of Tarynโs wedding and the part of the ceremony we did not witness. I think of my motherโs wedding, too, the vows she must have made to Madoc, and abruptly a shiver goes through me that I hope has nothing to do with premonition.
โItโs simple,โ he says, moving to the edge of the chair. โWe pledge our troth. Iโll go firstโunless you wish to wait. Perhaps you imagined something
more romantic.โ
โNo,โ I say quickly, unwilling to admit to imagining anything to do with marriage at all.
He slides my ruby ring off his finger. โI, Cardan, son of Eldred, High King of Elfhame, take you, Jude Duarte, mortal ward of Madoc, to be my bride and my queen. Let us be wed until we wish for it to be otherwise and the crown has passed from our hands.โ
As he speaks, I begin to tremble with something between hope and fear. The words heโs saying are so momentous that theyโre surreal, especially here, in Eldredโs own rooms. Time seems to stretch out. Above us, the branches begin to bud, as though the land itself heard the words he spoke.
Catching my hand, he slides the ring on. The exchange of rings is not a faerie ritual, and I am surprised by it.
โYour turn,โ he says into the silence. He gives me a grin. โIโm trusting you to keep your word and release me from my bond of obedience after this.โ
I smile back, which maybe makes up for the way that I froze after he finished speaking. I still canโt quite believe this is happening. My hand tightens on his as I speak. โI, Jude Duarte, take Cardan, High King of Elfhame, to be my husband. Let us be wed until we donโt want to be and the crown has passed from our hands.โ
He kisses the scar of my palm.
I still have his brotherโs blood under my fingernails. I donโt have a ring for him.
Above us, the buds are blooming. The whole room smells of flowers.
Drawing back, I speak again, pushing away all thoughts of Balekin, of the future in which I am going to have to tell him what Iโve done. โCardan, son of Eldred, High King of Elfhame, I forsake any command over you. You are free of your vow of obedience, for now and for always.โ
He lets out a breath and stands a bit unsteadily. I canโt quite wrap my head around the idea that I amโฆ I canโt even think the words. Too much has happened tonight.
โYou look as if youโve barely rested.โ I rise to be sure that if he falls over, I can grab for him before he hits the floor, although I am not so sure of myself, either.
โI will lie down,โ he says, letting me guide him toward his enormous bed.
Once there, he does not let go of my hand. โIf you lie with me.โ
With no reason to object, I do, the sense of unreality heightening. As I stretch out on the elaborately embroidered comforter, I realize that I have found something far more blasphemous than spreading out on the bed of the High King, far more blasphemous than sneaking Cardanโs signet onto my
finger, or even sitting on the throne itself.
I have become the Queen of Faerie.
We trade kisses in the darkness, blurred by exhaustion. I donโt expect to sleep, but I do, my limbs tangled with his, the first restful sleep Iโve had since my return from the Undersea. When I am awakened, it is to a banging on the door.
Cardan is already up, playing with the vial of clay the Bomb brought, tossing it from hand to hand. Still dressed, his rumpled aspect gives him only an air of dissipation. I pull my robe more tightly around me. I am embarrassed to be so obviously sharing his bed.
โYour Majesty,โ says the messengerโa knight, from the clipped, official sound of him. โYour brother is dead. There was a duel, from what weโve been able to determine.โ
โAh,โ Cardan says.
โAnd the Queen of the Undersea.โ The knightโs voice trembles. โSheโs here, demanding justice for her ambassador.โ
โI just bet she is.โ Cardanโs voice is dry, clipped. โWell, we can hardly keep her waiting. You. Whatโs your name?โ
The knight hesitates. โRannoch, Your Majesty.โ
โWell, Sir Rannoch, I expect you to assemble a group of knights to escort me to the water. You will wait in the courtyard. Will you do that for me?โ
โBut the generalโฆโ he begins.
โIs not here right now,โ Cardan finishes for him.
โI will do it,โ the knight says. I hear the door close, and Cardan rounds the corner, expression haughty.
โWell, wife,โ he says to me, a chill in his voice. โIt seems you have kept at least one secret from your dowry. Come, we must dress for our first audience together.โ
And so I am left to rush through the halls in my robe. Back in my rooms, I call for my sword and throw on my velvets, all the while wondering what it will mean to have this newfound status and what Cardan will do now that he is unchecked.