A The feminine’s moods and opinions are like weather patterns. They are constantly changing, severe and gentle, and they have no single source. No analysis will work. There is no linear chain of cause and effect that can lead to the kernel of the “problem.” There is no problem, only a storm, a breeze, a sudden change in weather. And the bases of these storms are the high and low pressure systems of love. When a woman feels love flowing deeply, her mood can instantly evaporate into joy, regardless of the supposed reason for the mood.
s a man, you probably want to find the cause for the problems in your life. That way, you can eliminate the source of the problem. By getting to its root, you can solve the problem, hopefully once and for all. And so, when your woman seems to have an emotional problem, you want to know why. You want to know what is upsetting her. You assume there is a specific cause. You want to know what triggered her bad mood so you can fix the situation.
Because you love her, you begin asking her questions to get to the root of the problem. “What’s wrong? Did I do something to upset you? What are you crying about? Are you about to start your period? Did somebody say something horrible to you?”
You are under the illusion that when you find out the cause of her affliction, then the cure will easily follow. But it doesn’t work that way;
your questioning is probably making her mood worse.
Here’s something important to realize: the majority of a woman’s emotional struggles come from feeling unloved. So instead of analyzing her like a doctor diagnosing a patient or a therapist probing for answers, offer her your love—right then and there, clearly and wholeheartedly. Walk over to her, meet her gaze, hold her close, stroke her gently, tell her how much she means to you, smile, hum her favorite tune, and dance with her. Chances are, her emotional stress will melt away. While she may still have practical issues to face, the emotional weight will be lifted through your love.
It’s rare that analyzing her mood will actually make things better. In fact, it often has the opposite effect, frustrating her even more. Ask her whether she prefers your love or your analysis when she’s upset. Giving love is simple and, in reality, it’s what both of you want. But as a man, you might instinctively try to fix the problem, which is usually the last thing she wants—and often what makes things worse.
The next time she’s in a bad mood, assume it’s because she feels unloved. Even if it seems like there’s a deeper, more complex reason for her distress that you could solve, just start by assuming she needs love, not fixing. Think of her as a flower that needs watering, not a machine that needs repairs. Don’t assume something’s broken. Assume she craves your love—strong, steady, deep, and thoughtful.
Look into her eyes with love, touch her the way she likes to be touched with love, and speak or sing to her with love. Watch how her mood shifts. After she’s relaxed and happy again, then you can talk about anything else that might still need attention.
If you ever find yourself asking your woman questions about her mood while she is still in it, you are already on the wrong road. First, give her love through your eyes, touch, movement, and tone of voice. Then and only then, after the connection of love has been made, find out what remains to be talked about.
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