MOMEN ARE NOT LIARS
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“Keeping your word” is a masculine trait, in men or women. A person with a feminine essence may not keep her word, yet it is not exactly “lying.” In the feminine reality, words and facts take a second place to emotions and the shifting moods of relationship. When she says, “I hate you,” or “I’ll never move to Texas,” or “I don’t want to go to the movies,” it is often more a reflection of a transient feeling-wave than a well- considered stance with respect to events and experience. On the other hand, the masculine means what it says. A man’s word is his honor. The feminine says what it feels. A woman’s word is
M her true expression in the moment.
hen you listen to your woman, listen to her as you would the ocean, or the wind in the leaves. The sounds you hear from her are sounds of the motion of her feeling-energy. Of course, there are times when she speaks in the masculine style of meaning exactly what she says, but more often, and almost always in emotional moments, what she says is the sound of her feelings. Her feminine speech is far more like poetry than like a clearcut agenda for action. In an emotional moment, what she says she is going to do is actually an expression of what she feels like doing in the moment. Her feelings, and therefore what she is actually going to do, could change in five minutes. It could change every five minutes.
Whenever you are surprised by your woman’s actions, and you say to her, “But you said…,” you are forgetting that she has a feminine essence. What your woman says is like a cloud passing in the sky: well-formed, coherent, and unrecognizable moments later. The cloud is an expression of the precise physics of water, wind, and air. Your woman’s words are expressions of the physics of her feelings, your relationship, and the nuances of the present situation, seen and unseen. A moment later, these factors will change, and so will your woman’s expressions.
You might ask her, “Do you want to go to the movies?” She might reply, “Not really.”
Then you hug her and spin her around and say, “Let’s go to the movies!”
And she says, “Okay!”
She is not talking about her desire to go to the movies. She is talking about the feeling of your relationship in the present moment. If after she said she didn’t want to go to the movies, you said fine and sat down to watch TV, you would be missing the point. She is not really saying she doesn’t want to go to the movies, even though that is what she’s saying.
This is not lying. For a man, or for anyone speaking in the masculine style, to say something that is not true is lying. But, for the feminine, truth is a thin concept compared to the thickness of her flow of feelings. The “truth” of the feminine is whatever she is really feeling, in this present moment.
So, when she says that she wants to move to Pittsburgh with you, and then, after you have sold the house, she says she doesn’t want to move with you, don’t start yelling, “But you said . . . !” When she first told you she wanted to move, she was feeling good about the relationship. When she then told you she doesn’t want to move, she was feeling bad about the relationship. Instead of arguing about what she said or didn’t say, establish love in the intimacy first.
The basic rule is this: Don’t believe the literal content of what your woman says unless love is flowing deeply and fully in the moment when she says it. And even then, know that she is probably talking about her current feelings, not necessarily about the subject of whatever she is talking about. Never base your plans on what a woman says she wants to do, unless she is in the full flow of love when she says it. And then, expect her to
change her mind at any moment when her feelings change. Remember that a woman’s feelings may be more sensitive to an unseen realm of nature than are yours. Try to differentiate between your woman’s shifting moods and her sensitive wisdom.
Women are not liars, although they often seem that way to men. This is why a man must ultimately be responsible for making his own decisions, based on the deepest truth he can fathom. Otherwise, if he bends his course of truth to compromise for his woman’s current and changing expressions, he will probably end up blaming her.
You should hear what your woman has to say and feel her depth carefully. Then, after you have fully considered her input, make your best possible decision from your own deep core. This way, if your woman subsequently changes her mind, you won’t resent her for compromising your path. Rather, you can enjoy her subtle sensitivity and changing emotional weather patterns. You can proceed with or modify your actions in full gear, knowing you are always making the best choice available to you, having taken her depth of wisdom—and her fluctuations of expression and mood—wholly into account.
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