It was early evening by the time we finished discussing our plans to leave for the Blood Forest, and I was able to spend some time with Tawny. I entered the chambers, relieved to find two deep tubs side by side, both filled with steaming water.
While Casteel had lingered behind—hopefully to speak with his father
—I inspected the chambers as I undressed. The exposed beams of the ceiling and the white-washed stone walls reminded me of the bedchambers in New Haven. However, these were far grander, outfitted with sitting and dining areas separated by a standing screen. The wardrobe doors were open, and I found the clothing Vonetta had brought hanging there. But it was the items that hung next to it that brought a smile to my face.
Clothing for Casteel.
They truly hadn’t doubted that we’d return. Together.
A crate sat at the bottom of the wardrobe—the one that held King Jalara’s crown. Another would join it soon. I still didn’t know what I would do with them.
I drifted to the table by the bed and placed my hand on the cigar box, knowing what lay inside.
Our crowns.
Inhaling deeply, I left the box closed and went to the tub. A faint ache returned to my jaw as I bathed and washed away what felt like a week’s worth of grime before drying off and finding a robe, slipping it on. A knock sounded on the door just as I finished tying the sash.
“Come in,” I called out, passing the standing screen.
Kieran entered, closing the door behind him. “You’re alone? I figured Tawny would be with you.”
“I was with her, but she grew tired.”
He glanced around. “I just wanted to check in and see how you were holding up.”
My brow rose. “I’m fine. And you?” “Perfect.”
I stared at him. Kieran stared back.
“Are you also here because Casteel is speaking with his father?” I asked.
He laughed roughly. “That obvious?”
“A little.” I padded over to one of the chairs by an unlit fireplace. A decanter of some kind of amber liquid sat on a small table beside a couple of glasses. “Want something to drink?”
“Sure,” he answered as I poured two drinks. “I figured if I lingered, Cas would use me as an excuse to not talk with his father.”
My chest tightened as I handed Kieran a glass. “I hope he’s speaking with his father and with Malik, but…”
“But he’s got to have a lot in his head.” Kieran leaned against the mantel as I sat in the chair. “And he may not be in the right headspace to hear whatever his father wants to say.”
I took a sip of the smoky whiskey, thinking of what Valyn had told me. “I don’t think he’ll like what his father has to say.”
“Neither do I.” Kieran took a drink, staring out the narrow window as my gaze dropped to the thin scar on his forearm.
Curling my legs up, I sank into the cushy chair as I watched Kieran. Casteel would’ve definitely found his way to me sooner rather than later if he believed I was alone. But Kieran could’ve visited with his sister or any of the friends he hadn’t seen in weeks. He could be spending time with Malik. But he probably also wasn’t ready to sit down and talk with him. Either way, Kieran was here because of other reasons, and I had a good idea what they were. “Did Casteel tell you that we spoke about the Joining?”
Kieran glanced over at me. “He did.” A moment passed. “He said that you wanted to do it.”
Telling myself not to turn a hundred shades of red, I took another small drink. “He wants me to take the next couple of days to think it over, but I know the answer. It’s not going to change.”
His wintry eyes held mine. “You should take those days, though, and really think it over.”
“I will, but it’s not going to change. Casteel went over everything. I know what it entails—what could and couldn’t happen.” I knew what the Joining entailed. Casteel had gone over it in detail as we sat above the Wisteria Woods. No matter what it did or didn’t become as we joined their essences to mine, it would be intimate. Intense. Life-altering. None of us would be the same afterward in any way. “Are you sure this is what you want? Truly?”
“It should be me asking that question, Poppy.”
I lowered the glass to my bent knee as I watched him go to the chair across from me and sit. “We wouldn’t be having this conversation if I wasn’t sure.”
“True.” He leaned forward, glass in hand. “The same goes for me, Poppy. I’m here because I want to be.” The hue of his blue eyes was vivid, the glow behind the pupils brighter. “I don’t think many wolven would turn down Joining with a King and a Primal.”
My cheeks warmed. I still couldn’t believe that was what I was, but that didn’t matter at the moment. “You’re not just any wolven. It would be no one else but you.”
Kieran dipped his chin as a sweet taste gathered in my mouth, at odds with the bite of whiskey. “Don’t make me feel emotional about this. If you do, you’re going to make this weird.”
I laughed. “Well, it’s about time I’m the one who gets to make something weird.”
He shook his head as he clasped the back of his neck with his free hand.
Several long moments passed. “You know I love Cas, right?” “I do,” I whispered. “And I know he loves you.”
“I would do anything for him. I would do anything for you,” he said, echoing what Casteel had said. He looked up at me. “And knowing that you would do this for me means…” He swallowed. “There really aren’t words other than that my reasons for agreeing to the Joining have very little to do with Cas being a King or you a Primal god and everything to do with the love I have for both of you.”
My breath caught as a knot of emotion lodged itself in my chest. “Now you’re making this all emotional.”
“Sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”
Kieran grinned, lowering his hand as I fought the urge to ask him what kind of love he felt for Casteel. For me. I knew it wasn’t a familial one and that it went beyond what one felt for friends. I also thought that it wasn’t the same as what he’d felt for Elashya or what Casteel and I felt for each other. But I also knew that what I felt for Kieran wasn’t the same as what I felt for Delano or Vonetta or Tawny. It was…more.
He sat back, eyeing me as he rested his ankle on his knee. “You have that look.”
“What look?”
“The one that says you have a question you’re trying not to ask.” “No, I don’t.”
Kieran arched a brow.
I sighed, thinking it was rather annoying that he knew me so well. Needing courage to ask what I wanted to know, I took a longer drink. It did very little to aid me. “What…what kind of love do you feel?”
He studied me until I almost started squirming in the chair. “There are many kinds of love, but when it comes to you, it’s the kind that allowed me to make that—” He inhaled sharply, his jaw hardening. “It’s the kind of love that allowed me to make that promise to you, Poppy. It’s the same kind of love that allowed you to ask that of me.”
 |
Casteel
The bedchamber was dimly lit when I entered. Kieran’s scent lingered by the fireplace, where two empty glasses sat on a small table. Stripping off the weapons and straps that held them in place, I left all but one dagger on the chest by the standing screen.
My heart gave an unsteady leap when I looked at the bed and saw Poppy there, curled on her side, the blanket pooled at her waist and her robe loosened, baring one creamy shoulder. As I stripped off my clothing and made quick use of the cooled bathwater, I didn’t think my heart would ever
stop giving little jumps whenever I looked upon her. Didn’t think I would ever get used to looking at her and knowing that I was hers and she was mine.
I made sure I was completely dry before stepping toward the bed. I didn’t want to wake her—well, that was a lie. I wanted to see those beautiful eyes. Have her gift me with one of her smiles. Hear her voice. Her laugh. So, yeah, I wanted her awake, but the morning would come soon enough. We all needed our rest, for the journey into the Blood Forest wouldn’t be an easy one. Carefully pulling back the blanket, I eased into bed and kept my godsdamn hands and arms to myself. If I touched her, then yeah, I would spend the night staring at the ceiling with a hard cock.
Forcing my eyes closed and my breathing to steady, by some kind of miracle, I fell asleep. I didn’t know how long I rested before I found myself in that musty and dark cell, scratching Craven claws and the rattling of chains the only sounds. The band at my throat was almost too tight to swallow or breathe deeply, and the pain in my hand and in—
I woke with a jolt, my eyes flying open to see shadows swaying across the exposed beams of the ceiling. I’m not there. My heart thumped. I’m here. Air wheezed in and out of my lungs as I repeated those words like a fucking prayer.
The bed shifted slightly as I dragged my hands down my face, feeling the roughness of calluses—of what was absent there.
Poppy rolled toward me, pressing the length of her half-clothed body against mine. “I missed you,” she murmured.
Fuck.
My heart.
Her voice.
It calmed me.
Lowering my hands, I curled an arm around her back, soaking in her warmth and softness. “I missed you.”
She wiggled in closer, sliding a leg between mine. “Did you talk with your father?”
“Long enough to tell him that whatever he felt he needed to say, it had to wait.” I tangled my fingers in her hair. “He wasn’t happy to hear that, but he backed off.”
“So, you didn’t really talk to him at all.”
“I don’t want whatever he has to say in my head right now,” I admitted. Nothing he could say at the moment would make me understand why he and my mother had kept the Blood Queen’s identity from us. “Not when there’s everything else—finding Malec. Meeting with Isbeth. Ending the war.”
Her hand slid over my chest. “I can understand that.” She yawned softly. “It’s why I didn’t ask Malik any more questions about that night in Lockswood or about Coralena and Leo.”
I glanced down at the top of her head. She wasn’t ready for whatever Malik had to share. Just as I wasn’t when it came to my brother and our father. “You should go back to sleep.”
“I will.” But that hand of hers drifted down my stomach. “That doesn’t feel like you’re going back to sleep.”
Poppy didn’t say anything for a few moments. “Are you okay?”
Had my nightmare reached her? Or had she woken and simply sensed the lingering mess of emotions? Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. When I didn’t answer, when I couldn’t, she turned her head, pressing a kiss to my chest.
“You will be,” she whispered. “Yeah, I will be.”
“I know.” Her hand slid under the blanket.
My entire body jerked as her fingers grazed the tip of my already hardening cock and she rose halfway.
She didn’t give me a chance to say another word. Not that I was complaining. Her lips found mine, and her kiss was a sweet sweep. My arm around her tightened as she parted my lips with her tongue. The kiss went on until I throbbed for her.
Gods, I always ached for her.
“Cas,” she whispered, closing her fingers around my dick. “I need you.”
I shuddered at her words—at the truth. It was I who needed her, and she knew that—knew that her touch, her closeness, was grounding. A reminder that I was here.
“Now,” she demanded.
Her bold order brought forth a chuckle as I cupped her cheek. “What is it you want?”
“You know,” she whispered against my lips.
“Maybe.” I slid my hand down her throat, past those sensitive, healing bite marks, and over her breast where her nipple pebbled beneath the cotton of the robe. I kept going, over the soft swell of her belly and then between her legs. “But you should tell me.” I brushed the backs of my fingers over her damp heat, smiling when she moaned. “Just in case.”
Her grip on my dick tightened. “I want you to touch me.” She rested her forehead against mine. “Please.”
“You never have to say please.” I drew my finger along the very center of her. “But it does sound so pretty on your lips.”
Poppy’s breath caught as I slipped a finger inside her. She nipped at my chin, causing my entire body to jerk once more. I thrust my finger deeper. “Like this?”
“Yes.”
I kissed her, easing my finger in and out. “And like this?” My voice was rough, heavy.
Her back arched as her hand began moving in time with my shallow thrusts. Her hips began to move. “Mm-hmm.”
Smoothing my thumb over her clit, I marveled at the way her entire body tensed—how her hand stopped moving. I grinned. “And what about that?”
She moaned, and it was a sound I could listen to for an eternity. “I really like that,” she said, but her hand left my cock and folded around my wrist, pulling my touch from her. “But I want more.”
Poppy moved then, letting go of my hand and easing onto her elbows. The robe, half-untied, slipped down her arms. Never in my life had I been more grateful for the enhanced eyesight she was so envious of.
Rosy breasts thrust up, their tips puckered. Her cheeks were flushed, legs spread wide, open and inviting. My godsdamn mouth watered at the sight of her. I rose halfway. “You’re beautiful.” I took in every inch of exposed flesh. “You know what I don’t understand?”
“What?”
“How you don’t spend all day with those pretty fingers between those pretty thighs.” I slid a hand under the robe, gripping her hip. “That’s what I would do if I were you.”
She laughed. “You’d get very little else done then.”
“It would be worth it.” My gaze landed on where her hand rested on her lower belly, mere inches from that wonderful heat of hers. “I just realized
something.” My throat dried. “Have you ever touched yourself?”
A blush swept across her cheeks, and after a moment, she nodded. And damn if that didn’t send an almost painful bolt of lust through me. “I would love nothing more”—picking up her hand, I lifted it to my mouth. I closed my lips around the finger bearing our ring—“than for you to show me exactly how you touch yourself.”
Her inhale was an audible one as I lowered her hand to the shadowy space between her thighs. I let go, and for a moment, I didn’t think she would do it.
But I never should’ve doubted her.
My Queen backed down from nothing.
The delicate tendons along the top of her hand moved like piano keys as she slipped that finger inside herself, moving it in tiny plunges.
“Fuck,” I groaned. “Don’t stop.”
Her breaths came in short little pants as she continued playing with herself, and the scent of her arousal filled every single one of my senses. I was obsessed, watching her. Didn’t even blink. Not once as her breathing continued picking up speed, as her hips moved to meet the thrusts of her finger.
“Cas,” she moaned.
I could come just watching this. There was a good chance I would. “I want to worship you.”
Poppy shuddered.
And then I did, starting with her toes and working my way up her calves to her thighs. Her finger moved faster as I neared, and I stopped long enough to flick my tongue through the wetness there. She cried out, her back arching as I began paying homage to her once more, trailing a path across her stomach and the curves of her hips. I took my time as if we wouldn’t be on the road once more in a few hours. I paid extra attention to those breasts, licking and sucking until she trembled—until every part of me was hard, heavy, and swollen. Only then did I reach between us, pulling her hand away to my mouth, where I sipped at her taste.
“I think I will need to see you do that daily.” “Gods,” she rasped. “You are so bad.”
“Yeah, I am.” Closing my hand around hers, I pressed it into the mattress beside her head as I eased a leg between those soft, plump thighs. I gave her my weight, sinking into all that warm softness, and she took it all
with a soft smile. “But I can be good. I can even be more bad. I can be whatever you want.”
“I just want you.” She pressed her palm to my cheek. “As you are.” Hell.
I shook like a fragile sapling in a windstorm at the touch of her heat against the head of my dick. I sank into her slick heat, lashed by shards of pleasure. “I love you. I’m so very much in love with you.”
Her arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly as she lifted her legs, curling them around my hips and urging me forward. “I love you always and forever.”
I ignored the throbbing in my fangs. I wouldn’t feed. I wouldn’t take anything from her tonight. I would just give.
My heart hammered as I began moving, intending to go slow and steady, to make this last. But the soft sounds she made, the startling friction of our bodies, and all that came before this made it impossible. Nothing felt like her. Absolutely nothing compared to how she made me feel and how her very presence invaded every cell of my body. There was no me. There was no her. There was only us, our mouths clinging to each other’s, our hands and hips sealing together. We were so close, so tight as I ground against her, that I felt it when Poppy broke. The spasms obliterated my control. My release blew through me, coming and coming in tight waves that left my body jerking for several moments.
Poppy’s mouth sought mine, and she kissed me softly. She was, gods, she was everything. I loathed separating us, but I knew I was seconds away from collapsing on her. Letting out a ragged groan, I eased out of her and onto my side. Gathering her in my arms, I held her close, and she held me tighter. When my eyes closed this time, I knew that no bad dreams would find me.
My Queen simply would not allow it.
