I woke up to what sounded like someone breathing deeply and blushed when I realized it was Wit. I was in Witโs room, in Witโs bed, under his covers with him.ย Heโs a mouth breather, I thought, since his mouth was wide open, like heโd fallen asleep halfway through saying something. Which he probably hadโweโd talked so late into the night.
And we werenโt cuddling exactly, but my face grew warmer when I noticed that both of us had an arm flung out, unconsciously reaching for the other person. His was aimed for my waist while mine had gone for his chest. For a moment, I imagined what it would feel like to roll over and burrow into it, to feel his heartbeat.
The thought made my own heart catch, and then I felt a deep and longing tug.
โTime to leave,โ I whispered to myself and slipped out from under his quilt before even more carefully escaping through the door. Those ancient hingesโฆ
They screeched, of course. Wit didnโt wake up, but Michaelโs head snapped up over by the firepit, where he was stretching for his morning workout. At first, he didnโt say anything, just raising an eyebrow at my outfitโthe same eyelet dress Iโd worn to the Big House for dinner. Except now it was wrinkled, and it didnโt help that my sandals dangled from my fingers by the straps. All signs pointed to a walk of shame.
โNothing happened!โ I blurted.
โI didnโt say anything did,โ he replied.
โWe fell asleep talking,โ I explained. โIt was completely innocent.โ
Michael nodded, but he looked like he was holding back laughter. We eyed each other for a couple of seconds before he smirked and said, โCompletely innocent, huh?โ
I scowled and gave him the finger, which only made him smirk more. โListen here, Michael Duprรฉ,โ I started, but when a door down the porch squeaked open, I took off for the Annex without another word. The paranoia was sinking in nowโwhoย wasย my assassin? Not a single rumor had circulated. It could be anyone, hungover groomsmen included.
My parents were already awake, eating scrambled eggs and toast with Honeyโs homemade blackberry jam at the small table in the sitting room. โGood morning,โ they said to me, but they didnโt ask where Iโd spent the night, probably assuming Iโd been with Luli and Pravika. It didnโt look like theyโd gotten much sleep. My dad had bags under his eyes.
โIโm going to the Camp,โ I said suddenly. โTo meditate with Aunt Rachel.โ
That made my mom brighten. โOkay.โ She smiled. โSounds good.โ
โDonโt forget to take your gun,โ Dad said after Iโd changed clothes. He sipped his coffee. โYou never know who youโre gonna run into.โ
Instead of parading across the wide field in clear view of the houses, I snuck through the woods and around the back of the Camp. There was hustle and bustle insideโI heard Aunt Julia say something to Ethan about too much whipped cream on his wafflesโbut like yesterday, Aunt Rachel was at peace by the flagpole. โHello,โ she said once I sat down crisscross-applesauce next to her. โReady for more?โ
โNot today,โ I told her, shaking my head as a lump formed in my throat. Because Claireโthis was just so Claire, and I didnโt think I could truly focus yet. Memories flashed through my mind of my sister waking me up postโyoga class. Sheโd jump on my bed all sweaty and tickle me until I
couldnโt breathe. Now my heart ached to think of it. โBut Iโd like to sit for a while,โ I said quietly, โif thatโs okay.โ
Aunt Rachel leaned over and kissed the top of my head. โOf course it is, Mer,โ she whispered. โOf course it is.โ
Although maybe letting my aunt take me under her wing and teach me meditation techniques wouldโve been better, because sitting silently with my eyes closed allowed me to drift back to last night, to Wit and what Iโd admitted to him. โSometimes Iโm so mad at her,โ Iโd said after our pinkie promise and after heโd switched off his bedside lamp. Somehow, the darkness made it easier to speak. โI donโt hold grudges, but sometimesโฆโ
I trailed off to let Wit ask who I was talking about, but he didnโt. He knew.
โIt was the same night,โ I went on, my voice cracking a bit. โWhy did she have to tell that story? About the salad and stuff? It was the same night,ย thatย night. Claire texted meย that dayย saying they were going to the French Quarter after dinner.โ My eyes prickled, and a moment later, I felt a few of Witโs fingers gently twine with mine. Tears spilled over when I squeezed them.
โYou donโt blame her,โ he saidโa question but not phrased as one.
โNo, I donโt,โ I said back, all choked up. โI really donโt. She didnโt do anything wrong. She didnโt get Claire drunk, she didnโt try to drive, it was a freak accident, but Iโm stillย angry. Claire was only eighteen. Why did Sarah have to find her a fake ID and take her to Bourbon Street? Why couldnโt they visit during the day like tourists?โ My heart pounded. โI love Sarah, and Iโm so happy sheโs okay, that sheโs marrying Michael, butโฆsometimes Iโm a terrible person. I think that if she hadnโt brought Claire there, she would still be here. She would beย hereย right now. With me, with us. You wouldโve met her.โ I wiped away more tears, my eyes already swollen. โI wish you couldโve met her.โ
Wit swallowed hard enough for me to hear. There was a long pause, and then he murmured, โYouโreย notย a terrible person. Youโre aย person. Believe me, I understand how you feel. Iโve been there.โ He twined more of our fingers together. We were nearly holding hands. โIโve been thereโฆโ
Now, after several minutes, I straightened my shoulders. โActually, yes,โ I said to Aunt Rachel. โPlease, teach me more.โ
* * *
โItโs so easy,โ Pravika told Luli. โGo over and do it.โ
Luli sighed. โBut thatโs theย thing,โ she said. โItโsย tooย easy. I want my first kill to be front-page news.โ She looked at me. โLike Witโs rooftop assassination, or your 007 moment.โ
The three of us were floating in the Oyster Pond on the loud-and-proud rainbow unicorn tube. Weโd stolen it from the Pond Houseโs back deck after the bridesmaids had left for a bayside lunch at Atlantic with the groomsmen. Maid of honor Danielle had posted a video of Sarah and Michael together, feeding each other oysters. The caption read:ย 5 MORE
DAYS! #HurrayShesADuprรฉ.
Wit and I still hadnโt exchanged numbers, so Iโd messaged @sowitty17 and advised him to order the lobster guacamole as an appetizer. It was served in a stone mortar with the best tortilla chips. That had been a few hours ago.
Now Luli, Pravika, and I were doing recon on Cousin Margaret, Luliโs target. She was related to the Foxes, but youโd need a family tree to figure out how. All I knew for sure was that she was in her thirties, that she told the most hilarious stories after a few of my dadโs margaritas, and that Pravika was right: it would be a piece of cake for Luli to oust her. Right now, she was sitting in a beach chair with her head in a romance novel, wearing a floppy hat and big round sunglasses.
โLook,โ I said after a few more minutes of watching Margaret flip from one page to the next. โUnfortunately, this move isnโt going to be flashy.โ I shrugged, remembering the letdown of assassinating Aunt Rachel. It had been a stepping-stone, nothing more. โIf you really want drama, maybe do a cartwheel or something.โ
โYeah,โ Pravika agreed. โDo a cartwheel, then shoot her.โ Luli bit her lip, then nodded. โOkay.โ
We paddled back to shore and quietly dispersed. Pravika went to devour a PB&J from our cooler as Luli returned to her towel to unearth her squirt gun. Then she hid it again by pulling her waist-length dark hair into a loose ponytail and tucking the gun into her colorful scrunchie.
Meanwhile, I grabbed a crabbing net and joined Ethan and Hannah in the Oyster Pondโs shallows. They were scooping up crabs and depositing them in the โtanksโ theyโd dug in the sand. Each one had a tributary running into the pond so the water would be refreshed.
โNo, Ethan!โ Hannah shouted. โDonโt make them fight!โ
โWait, fight?โ I turned away from Luli, who was saying a casual hello to every cluster of people on beach chairs on the way to Margaretโs lone one. โYouโre making themย fight?โ
โYeah,โ Ethan said and gestured at one of the pools with his net. It contained only two male crabs, both big and blue. They appeared to be in a standoff. โThis is the center ring.โ He poked one of them with his pole as if to say,ย Make your move!
โOkay, no.โ I shook my head. โThereโs no fighting allowed, Ethanโย ever.โ I netted one crab and moved him to the tank Hannah had finished digging. Because whether provoked or not, sometimes the male crabs went at it.
Ethan huffed, then waded back into the water. I refocused on Luli, only a yard or two away from her target now. If she had indeed cartwheeled, Iโd
missed it. Now she faced the ocean. โI think Iโm going to take a dip!โ I heard her say. โWanna join, Margaret?โ
Margaret didnโt glance away from her book, instead holding up a hand. โIโm almost finished with the epilogue.โ
Luli tugged her scrunchie and dramatically shook out her hairโshe caught her squirt gun before it fell to the sand and concealed it behind her back, pointer finger on the trigger. โAre you sure?โ she asked. โMeredith says the waterโs amazing.โ
Come on, Luli!ย I thought.ย I havenโt been near the ocean today!
Margaretโs gaze shifted. โDid she?โ she said lightly, raising her sunglasses to look at Luli. โBecause I actually havenโt seen Meredith go for a swim yet.โ
That made Luli panic. She scampered several steps forward, straightened her shoulders, and suddenly, she had her gun aimed at Margaret.
Who once again simply held up her hand. โLast page, Luli,โ she said. โLast page in the book.โ
Luliโs gun began to shake. The beach was riveted, my dad and Uncle Brad leaning forward in their seats.ย This is taking a while, I thought.ย Maybe Margaretโs savoring the ending, butโฆ
And then it happened.
In the blink of an eye, Margaret sprang up from her chair, karate-chopped Luliโs squirt gun from her hand, and took off down the beach. The breeze swept away her floppy hat, which twirled in the air before landing in the sand.
โDammit!โ Luli shouted, then grabbed her gun and raced after Margaret. Everyone else broke into laughter, even me. It turned out there had been room for some drama.
Ethan returned from the pond with a whopping three crabs in his net. He was pretty talented for a six-year-old. I watched him deposit them in the
largest pool, oneโs claws tangled in the netting. Then he whispered something that sent chills up my spine. โWhat?โ I asked. โRepeat that?โ
โI heard my moms talking,โ he replied, kicking up wet sand. โAbout you
โthey know who has you.โ
My heart went still. โWho?โ I tried not to waver, to keep my cool. โWho has me?โ
Ethan shrugged. โAsk them.โ
Ask them?
No, I couldnโt ask them. If my aunts hadnโt already given me a heads-up, it meant they werenโt on my side. I couldnโt fully trust them.
โNo, Ethan,โ I said, shaking my head. โIโm askingย you.โ He hesitated.
โEthanโฆโ
โIan,โ he mumbled. โThey said Ian has you.โ
I released a deep breath. Well, that explained it. Sarahโs brother was Aunt Juliaโs godson. Of course her loyalty would lie with him.
You need to leave, Claireโs voice inside my head advised.ย Heโs here, remember? He skipped lunch at Atlantic to surf.
Shit, I thought after spotting my cousin floating in the ocean with his surfboard. Claire was right; I had to go, because there was no way Ianโs only motive for passing on oysters was to catch some waves. He would call it quits soon enough, and if I was tanning on my towel or busy building sandcastlesโฆ
I didnโt make an announcement that I was heading home. I quickly and quietly packed up my tote bag, draped my towel around my neck, and slipped into my flip-flops.
Nevertheless, I heard Aunt Julia shout through Uncle Bradโs beloved megaphone, โBye, Meredith!โ
My pulse pounded. Was Ian out of the water?
Donโt turn around, Claire said as I fought the urge.ย Donโt turn around and make a run for it. Itโll give everything away. Theyโll know that you know!
So I raised a stiff arm in farewell.
But as soon as Iโd disappeared from sight, I broke into a sprint. My life depended on it.
* * *
Once I was safe in the Annex, I took a piping-hot outdoor showerโ complete and utter blissโand afterward threw on a tank top and my favorite faded pair of J.Crew shorts. I unplugged my phone from the sitting room outlet and flopped down on the couch to check any notifications, wondering if @sowitty17 had replied to my suggestion about the lobster guacamole. Had he ordered it?
But instead of an Instagram message notification, I had five missed texts. All from Ben.
โWhat the fuck?โ I said aloud, typing in my passcode to read them. โWhat the actualย fuck?โ
First:ย Hey, Mer.
Second:ย Howโs everything going?
Third:ย Seems like youโre having a lot of fun.
โYeah,โ I mumbled. โBecause youโre not here.โ Fourth:ย You looked really pretty yesterday.
Aha!ย I thought, entire body simmering as I switched over to Instagram, to @meredithfoxโs profile.ย Andย thereย we have it!
Last night, Iโd posted a picture from Wink and Honeyโs dinner. My mom had taken it after Luli, Eli, and I had returned from Edgartown. The three of us had our arms around each other with the pink-and-orange sunset in the background (a pink-lemonade sunset, Claire wouldโve called it). I was smiling in the middle, my cheeks flushed from the rush of Assassin adrenaline and my hair blowing in the breeze.ย Cousins!ย Iโd captioned the
photo, completely forgetting about the wedding hashtag. It had gotten a ton of likes, but Iโd turned off those notifications ages ago. Now, though, I couldnโt help but notice the top comment: @benfletcher had left behind three fire emojis. I rolled my eyes. Ben had loved me, but Iโd realized that it never went very deep for him. His compliments always revolved around my looks.
I reopened my texts to read Benโs final one:ย I think we need to talk.
โNo, we certainly do not, Shithead,โ I muttered and debated whether or not to throw my phone across the room. But no, I settled for deleting Benโs texts. Then I swiped back to my Instagram profile and did a little identity changing.
I scrolled through my feed for a few minutes. Instagram stories of my former classmates picnicking on Clintonโs town square, videos of my favorite bands performing on tour, photos of cute dogs, and funny memes. I double-tapped Timothรฉe Chalametโs most recent post. He was on vacation in Italy.
Although the next picture caught my eye even more than Timothรฉeโฆ because it was ofย me. Not me now, but me fromย yearsย ago. I was maybe ten, with my hair in braids and a napkin tucked into my shirt, and I instantly recognized the wicker chair I was sitting in. On my knees, I knew, since Iโd been too tiny to reach the table.
And Iโdย neededย to reach the table, to reach the giant stone bowl in front of me, filled with Atlanticโs famous lobster guacamole. But rather than using my best manners and politely dipping a tortilla chip, Iโd grabbed a gob of guac and smeared it across my face. Someone had dared me.
What?
I stopped gawking long enough to blink and see who was responsible for such blasphemy.ย Just delightful,ย @sowitty17 had written.ย Thank you, my lobster, for the recommendation! #HurrayShesADuprรฉ.
I immediately DMed him:ย WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT PICTURE?!?!
And then:ย You watchย Friends?
Because โmy lobster,โ Witโs term of endearment for the day, was not only a pun about his meal but also a direct reference to the old sitcom. Phoebe had a theory that when lobsters linked claws, it meant theyโd fallen in love and would mate for life. โSheโs your lobster,โ she always said to Ross about Rachel. It was iconic.
Wit! Half of me wanted to kick him in the face again while the other half wanted to smile and laugh with him. But my only option right now was to check if heโd messaged back.
Not yet.
Where did he get that picture?ย I wondered again as I glanced around the sitting room at the photos covering the walls. The one of me wasnโt here, but Fox family photos decoratedย everyย house on Paqua Farm. I smirked to myself. Every house, but Wit was only staying inย one.
Several minutes later, I marched into the Cabinโs empty main room with its mammoth stone fireplace, collection of cracked leather couches, and teeth-bearing tiger painting. Iโd taken the back way through the woods in case Ian was lurking nearby.ย Relax, relax, I now told my pulse.ย Youโre inside. Youโre safe.
I surveyed the room, once, twice, three times before I noticed the series of framed photos displayed on the fireplaceโs mantel. Most of them had been taken two centuries ago, but there was a pop of color amid all the black and white.
Of course, it was me.
โGotcha,โ I said and crossed the room to grab the frame as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I dug it out to see a DM fromย @sowitty17.
Did you swipe right?ย it asked.
Swipe right?ย @claires_sister tapped back.ย Excuse me, but I donโt recall us matching on Tinder.
You wouldnโt, he said.ย I donโt have Tinder.
Neither do I, I almost replied, but another message from Wit popped up:
I meant here, on the good old gram. Did you swipe right on my post?
Swipe right on his post? I frowned and tapped back to his throwback shot of me, only to realize that heโd uploaded multiple photos.
Twoย photos.
No way, I thought, thumb hovering over my screen.ย Thereโs no way he could haveโฆ
But he had. When I swiped, I was treated to nineteen-year-old Wit Witry full-on imitating little Meredith Fox. Just like me, he had a blue napkin tucked into his shirt collar with a heavy mortar of guacamole on the table in front of him, and also like me, heโd taken a glob and smeared it across his smiling face.
My stomach swooped.
Wit mustโve messaged again after Iโd liked the photo, but I was too busy to respond, risking another run-in with Ian to steal something from the Camp.
Hannahโs red lobster stuffed animal.
She wonโt notice, I told myself as I raced back to the Cabin, to the last room in the row.ย She has so many toys, she wonโt even notice!
Wit hadnโt made his bed, but I bypassed that to decorate his nightstand. I moved last nightโs ice pack in favor of arranging my picture frame just so and then placed the lobster on top of his New Zealand guidebook.ย A trip with his mom?ย I guessed.ย Maybe to close out the summer?
I noticed his unmade bed again before I leftโฆand by that, I mean I stopped and borderline-creepily stared at it. His covers were kicked to the foot, some sand on his sheets, and you could still see where weโd slept. Our indentations in the mattress were a little too close to be fully platonic. I remembered this morning, waking up next to him and seeing our arms stretched toward each other.
Yes, I thought.ย I want to smile and laugh with himโฆ
My heart flipped, realizing that wasnโtย allย I wanted to do. I also wanted to kiss him.
I wanted to kiss Wit.