It hurt to breathe. Try as she might, Elsie could not shift into a comfortable position. Every time she moved, a dagger slipped between her ribs.
Her nose felt bent. One of her eyes had swollen until she could only see a thin strip of light through it. There was no doubt in her mind now: she was not mad. Something was coming for her, as surely as the tide inching up the shore. But it would not come quickly. No. They enjoyed making her run.
She turned her head. A pillow puffed beneath it; she was not in the nursery. Someone must have heard the crash and found her in the rubble. She could not remember. Everything blurred beneath snatches of pain.
Footsteps sounded in the corridor, accompanied by a voice. A male voice โ one she recognised.
โJolyon!โ His name a croak, barely audible. She made an agonising attempt to move. Pillows supported her on either side, she was propped sitting up at an angle.
The feet came to a halt outside her door. Elsie waited. Nothing happened. No one came in.
Straining her ears, she heard Jolyon and Sarah in conversation. โShe is still asleep?โ
โI think so.โ Sarah sounded spent. โHeaven knows she was drugged enough, Mr Livingstone.โ
โThis is my fault. I should never have let her come back here, alone.โ
โYou must not blame yourself.โ
Jolyon said something she could not make out. Then Sarah spoke again. โThe doctor said she cracked two ribs and sprained her left knee badly. Itโs a miracle nothing was broken. There is some damage to the face, but only cosmetic. Lots of scratches and contusionsโโ
โNo,โ said Jolyon โ or perhaps it was someone else, for surely the tone was too harsh? โThat is not what I mean. You cannot pretend this is acceptable behaviour, even after all she has been through. What was she thinking, capering around attics at midnight?โ
Sarah mumbled incoherently. It must have been something in Elsieโs defence, for Jolyon shot back, โYou must not encourage her, Miss Bainbridge.โ
The door creaked on its hinges. Elsie shut her eyes, knowing she would not be able to hide the hurt burning inside them.
Steps padded across the carpet. โElsie? Are you awake?โ
She murmured and moved her head in the direction of the door, but she did not open her eyes.
โItโs Mr Livingstone, Mrs Bainbridge, come to see you.โ
Blindly, she stretched out her hand. It was not until Jolyon took it that she realised her gloves had been replaced with bandages.
โElsie. How do you feel?โ
She wet her lips. They were swollen and parched. โLike Iโve been in the ring with Tom Sayers. I came off the better, though. You should see the state of the nursery.โ She tried for a jovial tone, but it fell to the ground like a dead bird.
โIย haveย seen it,โ he said. โTerrible damage.โ
Carefully, she cracked open her one good eye. Jolyon ๏ฌoated into her vision. He looked ghastly. Uncombed hair straggled behind his ears and stubble covered his chin. Purple marks sat beneath each dull eye.
โOh, Jo.โ A tear slid down her face. She wanted to reach out and stroke his cheek, but there was something else beneath his concerned expression, something too hot to touch. โI am sorry youโve had to come down here and deal with this. Weโve had nothing but bad luck since the day Rupert died.โ
โSo it would seem.โ His lips pressed together. โWhat were you doing in the garret, Elsie?โ
โLooking for something. There was a . . .โ She trailed off as she glimpsed Sarah behind him, shaking her head and signalling madly with her bandaged hand.
โA what?โ
Sarah was right โ she could not tell him about the diary. He would take it away, say it excited her too much, and she would be back to the red lavender, back in the cold sitz-baths.
โAn ornament,โ she improvised. โHelen saw it up there and took a fancy to it. I thought it would be a nice gesture if . . . if we buried it with her, in the cof๏ฌn.โ
โOh.โ A cold sound, impersonal. โI see. And that could not wait until the morning?โ
She had lied to him all his life. Why was it so dif๏ฌcult now? Perhaps the drugs Sarah had mentioned were slowing her down, numbing her faculties. โI . . . couldnโt sleep.โ
โNo?โ
โWe can none of us sleep,โ Sarah cut in, shrill. โNot with the goings-on in this house.โ
โNo. I expect not.โ He released Elsieโs hand and hooked two ๏ฌngers in his waistcoat pocket. He looked, but he did not see her. His gaze was slack, insensate. What was going on in that mind of his?
Once she had known him, through and through. Her darling boy. Only he wasnโt a boy any longer, was he? He was a young man, six years older than she had been when Ma died. Capable of all the things she had been capable of, back then.
Keeping secrets from Jolyon was second nature. But what ifย heย hid things fromย her?
โLook at the clock โ it will soon be time for dinner,โ Sarah said. โShall I have Mrs Holt bring up a tray for you, Mr Livingstone?โ
โNo, I will come down and dine with you. Just one moment more.โ His eyes lifted, suddenly, pinning Elsie to the bed. For one ghoulish moment, he looked just like Pa. โElsie, I need you to tell me what happened with Helen.โ
โShe . . . I do not know what happened. I came into the card room and she was there . . . like that.โ
โPeters said you were acting strangely. Agitated.โ โWas I? I donโt recall.โ
โIt must have been memorable,โ he said, still in that cold, dead voice. โIt made quite an impression upon Peters. He has given me his notice.โ
Well, Peters was never stupid. With the way things were falling out for servants around The Bridge, he would be a fool not to abandon ship.
โIs that so? I will be sorry to lose him. He has been an excellent driver.โ
Jolyon nodded. โYes. Mr Stilford and the gardeners have left too. With all these deaths, one can understand it. Our household is sadly reduced since the winter.โ
โMr Livingstone.โ Sarah moved towards the door, twirling a strand of hair anxiously around her ๏ฌnger. โI have just heard Mrs Holt ring the gong.โ
โOne more word, and I have done. We bury Mabel and Helen on Friday, Elsie. We cannot in conscience leave it any longer. I wish for you to remain here, resting.โ
โButโโ
โThere is noย but. I will not have you put through unnecessary strain.โ He moved his mouth, trying out a sentence, tasting it before he spoke. โYou are my sister. I will be . . . obeyed.โ
Obeyed. The word roped around her throat.
โGet some sleep, now.โ He bent to kiss her cheek. His lips were cold, dry. โMrs Holt will carry something up for you to eat later.โ He walked to the door and offered Sarah his arm. โShall we, Miss Bainbridge?โ
โYes, certainly. Let me just say goodnight to Mrs Bainbridge ๏ฌrst.โ Sarah came forwards and repeated his kiss. Her breath was warm against Elsieโs ear. โThe diary is under the mattress. I didnโt have a chance to read it, I just hid it from Mrs Holt when I found you. Please, look while we are at dinner. Find out how we can stop this before it is too late.โ
