Celia wasn’t at the awards that year, and despite the fact that I searched for her at every party Rex and I went to, I didn’t lay eyes on her. Instead, Rex and I painted the town red.
At the William Morris party, I found Harry and dragged him into a quiet corner, where the two of us sipped champagne and talked about how wealthy we were going to be.
You should know this about the rich: they always want to get richer. It is never boring, getting your hands on more money.
When I was a child, trying to find something to eat for dinner besides the old rice and dry beans in the kitchen, I would tell myself that if I could just have a good meal every night, I’d be happy.
When I was at Sunset Studios, I told myself all I wanted was a mansion.
When I got the mansion, I told myself all I wanted was two houses and a team of help.
Here I was, just turned twenty-five, already realizing that no amount would ever really be enough.
Rex and I went home at around five in the morning, the two of us downright drunk. As our car drove away, I searched my purse for keys to the house, and Rex stood beside me breathing his sour gin breath down my neck.
“My wife can’t find the keys!” Rex said, stumbling ever so slightly. “She’s trying very hard, but she can’t seem to find them.”
“Would you be quiet?” I said. “Do you want to wake the neighbors?”
“What are they going to do?” Rex said, even louder than before. “Kick us out of town? Is that what they will do, my precious Evelyn? Will they tell us we can’t live on Blue Jay Way anymore? Will they make us move to Robin Drive? Or Oriole Lane?”
I found the keys, put them in the door, and turned the knob. The two of us fell inside. I said good night to Rex and went to my room.
I took off my dress alone, without anyone there to unzip the back of it. The loneliness of my marriage hit harder in that moment than it ever had.
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and could see, in no uncertain terms, that I was beautiful. But it didn’t mean anyone loved me.
I stood in my slip and looked at my brassy blond hair and my dark brown eyes and my straight, thick eyebrows. And I missed the woman who should have been my wife. I missed Celia.
My mind reeled with the thought that she might be with John Braverman that very moment. I knew better than to believe any of it. But I also feared that I didn’t know her the way I thought I did. Did she love him? Had she forgotten me? Tears welled in my eyes as I thought about her red hair that used to fan across my pillows.
“There, there,” Rex said from behind me. I turned around to see him standing in the doorway.
He had taken off his tux jacket and undone his cuff links. His shirt was half buttoned, his bow tie undone, hanging on either side of his neck. It was the very sight that millions of women across the nation would have killed for.
“I thought you went to bed,” I said. “If I’d known you were up, I’d’ve had you help me get my dress off.”
“I would have liked that.”
I waved him off. “What are you doing? Can’t sleep?”
“Haven’t tried.”
He walked farther into the room, closer to me.
“Well, try, then. It’s late. At this rate, the two of us will be asleep until evening.”
“Think about it, Evelyn,” he said. The lights streaming in through the windows lit his blond hair. His dimples glowed.
“Think about what?”
“Think about what it would be like.”
He moved closer to me and put his hand on my waist. He stood behind me, his breath once again on my neck. It felt good to be touched by him.
Movie stars are movie stars are movie stars. Sure, we all fade after a while. We are human, full of flaws like anyone else. But we are the chosen ones because we are extraordinary.
And there is nothing an extraordinary person likes more than someone else extraordinary.
“Rex.”
“Evelyn,” he said, whispering into my ear. “Just once. Shouldn’t we?”
“No,” I said, “we shouldn’t.” But I was not wholly convinced of my answer, and thus, neither was Rex. “You should go back to your room before we both do something we’ll regret tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?” he said. “Your wish is my command, but I’d like it very much if you changed your wish.”
“I won’t change it,” I said.
“Think of it, though,” he said. He raised his hands higher up my torso, the silk of my slip the only thing between us. “Think of the way I’d feel on top of you.”
I laughed. “I will not think about that. If I think about that, we’ll both be sunk.”
“Think of the way we’d move together. The way we’d be slow at first and then lose control.”
“Does this work with other women?”
“I’ve never had to work this hard with other women,” he said, kissing my neck.
I could have walked away from him. I could have slapped him right across the face, and he would have taken it with a stiff upper lip and left me alone. But I wasn’t ready for this part to be over. I liked being tempted. I liked knowing I might make the wrong decision.
And it would absolutely have been the wrong decision. Because as soon as I got out of that bed, Rex would forget how badly he’d worked to get me. He’d remember only that he’d had me.
And this wasn’t a typical marriage. There was too much money on the line.
I let him flick one side of my slip off. I let him run his hand underneath the neckline of it.
“Oh, what it would be to lose myself in you,” he said. “To lie underneath you and watch you writhe on top of me.”
I almost did it. I almost ripped my own slip off and threw him onto the bed.
But then he said, “C’mon, baby, you know you want to.”
And it became perfectly clear just how many times Rex had tried this before with countless other women.
Never let anyone make you feel ordinary.
“Get out of here,” I said, though not unkindly.
“But—”
“No buts. Go on to bed.”
“Evelyn—”
“Rex, you’re drunk, and you’re confusing me for one of your many girls, but I’m your wife,” I said, with all obvious irony.
“Not even once?” he said. He seemed to sober up quickly, as if his hooded eyes had been part of the act. I was never really sure with him. You never knew exactly where you stood with Rex North.
“Don’t try it again, Rex. It’s not going to happen.”
He rolled his eyes and then kissed me on the cheek. “G’night, Evelyn,” he said, and then he slipped out my door just as smoothly as he’d come in.
* * *
THE NEXT DAY, I woke up to a ringing phone, deeply hungover and mildly confused about where I was.
“Hello?”
“Rise and shine, little bird.”
“Harry, what on earth?” The sun in my eyes felt like a burn.
“After you left the Fox party last night, I had a very interesting conversation with Sam Pool.”
“What was a Paramount exec doing at a Fox party?”
“Trying to find you and me,” Harry said. “Well, and Rex.”
“To do what?”
“To suggest that Paramount sign you and Rex to a three-picture deal.”
“What?”
“They want three movies, produced by us, starring you and Rex. Sam said to name a price.”
“Name a price?” Whenever I had too much to drink, I always woke up the next morning feeling as if I were underwater. Everything looked muted, sounded blurry. I needed to make sure I was following. “What do you mean, name a price?”
“Do you want a million bucks for a picture? I heard that’s what Don’s getting for The Time Before. We could get that for you, too.”
Did I want to make as much money as Don? Of course I did. I wanted to get the paycheck and mail a copy of it to him with a photo of my midd
le finger. But mostly I wanted the freedom to do whatever I wanted.
“No,” I said. “Nope. I’m not signing some contract where they tell me what movies to be in. You and I decide what movies I do. That’s it.”
“You aren’t listening.”
“I’m listening just fine,” I said, shifting my weight onto my shoulder and changing the arm that was holding the phone. I thought to myself, I’m going to go for a swim today. I should tell Luisa to heat the pool.
“We choose the movies,” Harry said. “It’s a blind deal. Whatever films you and Rex like Paramount wants to buy. Whatever salary we want.”
“All because of Anna Karenina?”
“We’ve proven your name brings people into the theater. And if I’m being entirely clear-eyed about this, I think Sam Pool wants to screw over Ari Sullivan. I think he wants to take what Ari Sullivan threw away and make gold out of it.”
“So I’m a pawn.”
“Everyone’s a pawn. Don’t go around taking things personally now when you never have before.”
“Any movies we want?”
“Anything we want.”
“Have you told Rex?”
“Do you honestly think I would run a single thing by that cad before running it by you?”
“Oh, he is not a cad.”
“If you had been there to talk to Joy Nathan after he broke her heart, you’d disagree.”
“Harry, he’s my husband.”
“Evelyn, no, he’s not.”
“Can’t you find something to like about him?”
“Oh, there’s plenty to like about him. I love how much money he’s made us, how much he will make us.”
“Well, he’s always done good by me.” I told him no, and he walked out my door. Not every man would do that. Not every man had.
“That’s because you both want the same thing. You, of all people, should know that you can’t tell a single thing about a person’s true character if you both want the same thing. That’s like a dog and a cat getting along because they both want to kill the mouse.”
“Well, I like him. And I want you to like him. Especially because if we sign this deal, Rex and I will have to stay married quite a bit longer than we originally thought. Which makes him my family. And you’re my family. So you’re both family.”
“Plenty of people don’t like their families.”
“Oh, shut up,” I said.
“Let’s get Rex on board and sign this thing, OK? Get your agents together to hammer out the deal. Let’s ask for the moon.”
“OK,” I said.
“Evelyn?” Harry said, before getting off the phone.
“Yes?”
“You know what’s happening, right?”
“What?”
“You’re about to become the highest-paid actress in Hollywood.”
FOR THE NEXT TWO AND a half years, Rex and I stayed married, living in a house in the hills, developing and shooting movies at Paramount.
We were staffed up with an entire team of people by that point. A pair of agents, a publicist, lawyers, and a business manager for each of us, as well as two on-set assistants and our staff at the house, including Luisa.
We woke up every day in our separate beds, got ready on opposite sides of the house, and then got into the same car and drove to the set together, holding hands the moment we drove onto the lot. We worked all day and then drove home together. At which point, we’d split up again for our own evening plans.
Mine were often with Harry or a few Paramount stars I had taken a liking to. Or I went out on a date with someone I trusted to keep a secret.
During my marriage to Rex, I never met anyone I felt desperate to see again. Sure, I had a few flings. Some with other stars, one with a rock singer, a few with married men—the group most likely to keep the fact that they’d bedded a movie star a secret. But it was all meaningless.
I assumed Rex was having meaningless dalliances, too. And for the most part, he was. Until suddenly, he wasn’t.
One Saturday, he came into the kitchen as Luisa was making me some toast. I was drinking a cup of coffee and having a cigarette, waiting for Harry to come pick me up for a round of tennis.
Rex went to the fridge and poured himself a glass of orange juice. He sat down beside me at the table.
Luisa put the toast in front of me and then set the butter dish in the center of the table.
“Anything for you, Mr. North?” she asked.
Rex shook his head. “Thank you, Luisa.”
And then all three of us could sense it; she needed to excuse herself. Something was about to happen.
“I’ll be starting the laundry,” she said, and slipped away.
“I’m in love,” Rex said when we were finally alone.
It was perhaps the very last thing I ever thought he’d say.
“In love?” I asked.
He laughed at my shock. “It doesn’t make any sense. Trust me, I know that.”
“With whom?”
“Joy.”
“Joy Nathan?”
“Yes. We’ve seen each other on and off through the years. You know how it is.”
“I know how it is with you, sure. But last I heard, you broke her heart.”
“Yes, well, it will come as no surprise to you that I have, in the past, been a little . . . let’s say, heartless.”
“Sure, we can say that.”
Rex laughed. “But I started feeling like it might be nice to have a woman in my bed when I woke up in the morning.”
“How novel.”
“And when I thought of what woman I might like that to be, I thought of Joy. So we’ve been seeing each other. Quietly, mind you. And, well, now I find that I can’t stop thinking about her. That I want to be around her all the time.”
“Rex, that’s wonderful,” I said.
“I hoped you’d think so.”
“So what should we do?” I asked.
“Well,” he said, breathing deeply, “Joy and I would like to marry.”
“OK,” I said, my brain already kicking into high gear, calculating the perfect time to announce our divorce. We’d already had two movies come out, one a modest hit, one a smash. The third, Carolina Sunset, about a young couple who have lost a child and move to a farm in North Carolina to try to heal, ultimately having affairs with people in their small town, was premiering in a few months.
Rex had phoned in his performance. But I knew the movie had the potential to be big for me. “We’ll say that the stress of filming Carolina Sunset, of being on set and watching each other kiss other people, ruined us. Everyone will feel bad for us but not too bad. People love stories of hubris. We took what we had for granted, and now we’re paying the price. You’ll wait a little while. We’ll plant a story that I introduced you to Joy because I wanted you to be happy.”
“That’s great, Evelyn, really,” Rex said. “Except that Joy’s pregnant. We’re having a baby.”
I closed my eyes, frustrated. “OK,” I said. “OK. Let me think.”
“What if we just say that we haven’t been happy for a while? That we’ve been living separate lives?”
“Then we’re saying that our chemistry has fizzled out. And who’s going to go see Carolina Sunset then?”
This was the moment, the one Harry had warned me about. Rex didn’t care about Carolina Sunset, certainly not as much as I did. He knew he wasn’t anything special in it, and even if he was, he was all wrapped up in his new love, his new baby.
He looked out the window and then back at me. “OK,” he said. “You’re right. We went into this together, we’ll leave it together. What do you suggest? I told Joy we’d be married by the time the baby comes.”
Rex North was always a more stand-up guy than anyone gave him credit for.
“Obviously,” I said. “Of course.”
The doorbell rang, and a moment later, Harry walked into the kitchen.
I had an idea.
It wasn’t a flawless idea.<b
r />
Almost no idea is.
“We’re having affairs,” I said.
“What?” Rex asked.
“Good morning,” Harry said, realizing he’d missed a large part of the conversation.
“During the course of making a movie about both of us having affairs, we both started having affairs. You with Joy, me with Harry.”
“What?” Harry said.
“People know we work together,” I said to Harry. “They’ve seen us together. You’ve been in the background of hundreds of photos of me. They’ll believe it.” I turned to Rex. “We’ll divorce immediately after the stories are planted. And anyone who blames you for cheating on me with Joy, which we can’t deny for obvious reasons, will realize it’s a victimless crime. Because I was doing it to you, too.”
“This actually isn’t a terrible idea,” Rex said.
“Well, it makes both of us look bad,” I said.
“Sure,” Rex said.
“But it will sell tickets,” Harry said.
Rex smiled and then looked me right in the eye, put out his hand, and shook mine.
* * *
“NO ONE’S GOING to believe it,” Harry said as we drove to the tennis club later that morning. “People in town, at least.”
“What do you mean?”
“You and me. There are a lot of people who will dismiss it right out of hand.”
“Because . . .”
“Because they know what I am. I mean, I’ve considered doing something like this before, maybe one day even taking a wife. God knows it would make my mother happy. She’s still sitting there, in Champaign, Illinois, desperately wondering when I’ll find a nice girl and have a family. I would love to have a family. But too many people would see through it.” He looked at me briefly as he drove. “Just as I’m afraid too many people will see through this.”
I looked out my window at the palm trees swaying at their tops.
“So we make it undeniable,” I said.
The thing I liked about Harry was that he was never one step behind me.
“Photos,” he said. “Of the two of us.”
“Yeah. Candids, looking like we’ve been caught at something.”
