Mย orning shootaround was relaxed but filled with reporters waiting to
talk to us the second we stepped off the court. I did my job, giving them enough of an inside scoop before I was back behind the microphone for pre- game interviews answering more probing questions.
This afternoon, I went home for a quick pre-game nap, finding Indy packing for another road trip. I was hoping sheโd call out and give herself more time to rest, but she promised she was feeling like herself again. Her fever broke in the middle of night and the twenty-four-hour bug seems to have come and gone.
She freaked me out when I saw her at that party, clammy skin and sunken eyes. I didnโt realize sheโd need someone to remind her to take care of herself, but I shouldnโt have been surprised. She spends so much time making others happy that Iโm learning she tends to pass over her own well- being in the process.
โShay.โ Ron stops me in the hallway after Iโve finished my pre-game interviews. โWe missed you at practice yesterday.โ
He stands in his tailored suit, hand outstretched to shake mine.
โIโm sorry, sir. Indy was sick, and I didnโt feel comfortable leaving her alone. I know you have to fine me for an unexcused absence. I completely understand.โ
โA family emergency qualifies as an excuse.โ โBut sheโs not my family.โ
โIs she not? You live together. You clearly love her enough to miss out on time in the gym. Iโd call that family. Sheโs good for you, Shay. You never wouldโve skipped practice last season or any season before that.โ
Heโs not wrong. I wouldnโt have dared miss precious time on the court. My opponents sure as hell wouldnโt and how am I supposed to be the best if Iโm taking days off while my competition is working hard?
But when Stevie called to tell me Indy was too sick to stand, I wasnโt thinking about my competition or the game at all. I was thinking about the blonde across the hall who Iโd give up almost anything to take care of.
โAs my boss, donโt you want me at practice?โ
โI want you to have a balanced life, and for a player at your level, youโve never had that before. I wonโt lie, I was skeptical about the whole thing. I thought you were trying to pull a fast one on me, but I know you. Youโd never give up time in the gym for a ruse. I like this version of you, Shay. Keep it up.โ
My stomach churns with unease at the accuracy of his words. I knew Ron was suspicious of me and my fake relationship, and come to find out, the part where we werenโt faking it at all is what got him to believe in us.
The whole thing is starting to feel messy, and I hate a fucking mess.
How much of it is even pretend anymore?
I care about Indy much more than Iโve allowed myself to care about anyone in years, and at the root of it all, itโs centered around me using her. Itโs a sickening realization.
โCaroline was looking at the schedule, trying to find a road game she wanted to fly out for. The Raptors are going to be in Phoenix at the same time as us. Would Indy want to catch your game with us?โ
โOh. Iโll have to see if sheโs free and if it works for her schedule.โ
Yet another night I need her to use her. What the hell is she getting out of this deal? A wedding date to impress a group of friends that donโt deserve a second of her attention?
โBut,โ I continue. โSheโll be working, so Iโm not sure if she can make
it.โ
โOf course,โ Ron says, clapping his hand on my shoulder as we begin
walking through the playersโ tunnel to the home locker room. โI wanted to mention, thereโs been a lot of chatter behind the scenes. I know itโs only January, but thereโs only one name floating around for league MVP and itโs yours.โ
I stop in my tracks. โNo shit?โ
โYou act so surprised.โ He laughs half-heartedly.
โI am. I didnโt expect them to consider someone from a non-playoff team.โ
โWeโre making the playoffs. At the rate you boys are playing? Thereโs no doubt in my mind. Youโre doing good, Shay. Youโre exactly who I needed you to be this season. A good return on my investment.โ His phone rings in his pocket. He pats me on the shoulder one more time and finishes with a, โGood luck tonight, kid.โ
Itโs what Iโve wanted to hear all season, that he believes Iโm the right man for the job. Thatโs what this whole ruse with Indy has been about, proving the team made the right decision when they named me as Captain. Sure, a lot of them still go to Ethan when they need something, but Iโm two months away from getting us in the playoffs, something that hasnโt been done in the organization in years.
I allow Ronโs praise to wash over me as I warm up, and I carry his words into the game. I donโt necessarily need someone else to tell me Iโm doing a good job. I know Iโm doing a good fucking job. Iโm on pace to break my personal records in both assists and points in a single season, but I
wonโt lie and say gaining the approval of the man who signs my paychecks isnโt a total ego boost.
Itโs what Iโve been working towards. Itโs what Iโve been lying for.
Middle of the third period, up by eighteen, the home crowd of Chicago fans electrifies the building. The boys have been playing great, completely in sync. No one is in foul trouble, and all our starters are hitting double digits in scoring.
If we can keep up the tempo, Iโll be sitting my happy ass on the bench for the entirety of the fourth quarter, as Leon takes over as point guard for the rest of the game.
My arms are covered in angry, red scratches thanks to driving the lane and the refs not calling anything. My body is sore from the constant fight to stay on my feet against guys way bigger than me. Iโm quick, though, and can usually outmaneuver the punishing blows to my body. However, sometimes, I get caught in the middle of something that any other MVP nod would be given a whistle in order to stop the play.
Not me. I donโt know if itโs because of my size or that my fingers arenโt decorated in championship rings yet, but Iโm rarely given the respect of a protective call.
Taking my time coming up the court, I hold my hand in a fist above my head, calling for a motion offense.
Our power forward sets a screen on the backside of my defender, giving me room to move before he rolls off towards the basket. I feed him the ball just in time for Ethan to swing around to the corner off a screen in the paint from Dom. The ball is kicked out to him, then passed to me, open at the top of the key where I sink a three.
The crowd erupts as we lead by twenty-one. Plenty of space for me to take the rest of the night off, and after staying up late, taking care of Indy, I
couldnโt be more stoked to get pulled from a game.
โThere he is!โ Ethan shakes the back of my head as we jog back on defense.
โJesus,โ Dom huffs, running by. โYou get laid or something? You just hit a triple-double for the second game in a row.โ
I laugh, turning around to play some defense, wondering just how accurate that accusation is. Iโm relaxed, thatโs for goddamn sure.
Coach stands from the bench, edging towards the court and I know the second thereโs a dead ball, heโs subbing me out.
โOn your left!โ Dom shouts and I tighten my defense on Memphisโs point guard.
I get so close to him that when their center tries to set a screen on me, Iโm able to slip around his giant body, keeping me one step ahead of my opponent. Their big man rolls off his useless screen, and Dom is quick enough to get in front of him, knocking the ball and disrupting the pass.
I take off the second Dom gets his hand on the ball. Ethan picks it off, and just like that, weโre in transition with a clear lane from me to the hoop. Memphisโs point guard is hot on my trail, but Ethan passes the ball out ahead of me, giving me space to control it and get to the basket.
A quick glance over my shoulder confirms how close he is, so I give myself one dribble before Iโm off my feet and putting the ball through the hoop in a self-assured dunk. Nothing too flashy, we are up by twenty-one after all, but just enough to snuff any hope of closing the gap on our lead.
As soon as my fingers grip the rim, Iโm coming right back down. Sure, these fans paid for a show, but thereโs a fine line between confidently putting the ball away and being a dick to a team now down by twenty- three.
I donโt see it happen.
I donโt see him coming because why would I expect another player not to slow down after Iโve already scored an easy bucket?
Memphisโs point guard barrels underneath me as Iโm coming down, swiping my legs, and flipping me in the air. I watch myself falling headfirst into the hardwood, but I keep turning, sheets of color zipping past me, as I hope to God my body finds the right side up.
Somehow, the balls of my feet and my toes hit the ground first. The unprepared smack to the hardwood shoots a burst of sharp pain through my right knee. Thereโs an unmistakable pain in the joint and the immediate knowledge of what happened provides a deafening ring in my ears, even over the rowdy crowd.
My body is thrust forward, falling to the ground as I grab my knee, the pain shooting through me, my joint instantly throbbing.
And as I see the team doctor sift through a few rows of seats, running towards me, I know in that moment, Iโm entirely fucked.