Daily updateโI just want you to know, I saw the outline of your brotherโs dick and I very much want to have sex with him. But Iโm not going to. Arenโt I such a good friend?
STEVIE
If I could have one wish, itโd be that your campsite didnโt have Wi-Fi so I never had to read those words.
Blame your brother for that one too. Only rich people have Wi-Fi while camping.
Gonna go throw my phone against the wall now! Have fun!
Iย โm sure thereโs a blush covering my cheeks as I head down the stairs to
dinner, and Iโm not embarrassed but I am flustered. He blatantly brought up sex on a night we have to share a bed, and I ran with it.
If we were fucking, theyโd know. Iโm not very quiet.
What the hell is wrong with me? As if the other night, tangled up on the couch when he rejected me after I hinted that I was ready to move on physically from Alex wasnโt bad enough, here I am, telling him how loud I am in bed.
โIndy.โ Annie waves me to the fire thatโs roaring in the middle of the campsite. โIโm having a hot toddy. Can I make you one?โ
โThat sounds great.โ
Annie pours from her thermos to a mug before adding some lemon and a cinnamon stick. โI know youโre just pretending,โ she whispers for no one else to hear. โBut you two look good together.โ
I take a sip of my cocktail, warming me from the inside out. โRyan would look good with just about anybody.โ
Annie raises her brows, unimpressed. โMm-hmm. Whatever you say.โ โWhereโs your boyfriend?โ Ethan calls out as he stands at the grill with
Ron.
โHeโs uhโฆtaking care of something.โย Subtle.ย โHeโll be right out.โ
โI hope hamburgers sound good tonight.โ Ronโs voice drips with pride as he mans the grill with a metal spatula in his hand. โThese are going to be a perfect medium-rare.โ
โThat sounds great,โ I lie, hoping there are some sides Iโll be able to munch on. Iโm here to make a good impression on Ryanโs boss, not offend him by refusing to eat the dinner heโs so proudly prepared.
Caroline comes out of her tent with a plastic piece of Tupperware, shaking it to show us. โAnd I hope you like s’mores!โ
I donโt know what Ryanโs deal is with Ron Morgan, but he seems nice enough to me. Sure, Iโve only met him twice and he was with his wife both times, but the guy seems like a total softie. Ryan is far more intimidating than him.
Speaking of my fake boyfriend, I hear his car beep in the lot behind me before he emerges with a cooler in his hand. The sun is setting, leaving a slight golden glow to illuminate him and he looks fucking gorgeous in those fitted black jeans. His beanie is a navy knit which does nothing but make his eyes glow strikingly blue.
Good God, Indy. Get it together. Itโs a goddamn beanie and jeans.
โRon, would you mind throwing a few of these on the grill too?โ Ryan asks, putting his cooler on the picnic table and fishing out a box of frozen
veggie patties. โIndy is a vegetarian.โ He didnโt.
โOh, I had no idea.โ Ronโs voice drips with apology, looking at me.
โIt was my fault,โ Ryan cuts in. โI shouldโve told you. I brought some veggie sausage for her breakfast too. Do you have somewhere to store them?โ
โI do!โ Caroline bursts, pulling Ryan into their makeshift kitchen where they have a much larger and fancier cooler than his.
โHmm,โ Annie hums. โWhat?โ
โNothing. Donโt get me wrong. I love Ethan, but my real husband is nowhere near as thoughtful as your fake boyfriend.โ
โHeโs just trying to convince them that weโre legitimate.โ
At that exact moment, Ryan looks over his shoulder, offering me the sweetest smile that man could give.
Annie takes a long drink from her cocktail. โTheyโre not the only ones heโs convincing.โ
In true Ryan fashion, he takes the liberty to wash the dishes after dinner. Itโs not quite the same setup he has at home, but a single sponge and a waterspout seem to work just fine for him.
Four tree stumps circle the campfire, acting as seats. Ron, Caroline, and I each take one while Ethan shares his lap with his wife.
โAnnie, how are the girls?โ I ask while leaning forward to roast a marshmallow over the fire. โDid Gemmaโs piano recital go well?โ
It might seem like Iโm asking to appear close to Annie because any girlfriend of Ryanโs would be friends with his closest teammatesโ wife. But the truth is I genuinely like Annie and enjoyed getting to meet her at the fall banquet.
โIt did!โ Annie adjusts in her husbandโs lap. โShe got a little case of stage fright in the beginning, but Ethan gave her a pep talk and she was good to go. She did great.โ
Ron cuts in. โWhat did you tell her, Ethan?โ
โThe usual. How if I have to play basketball in front of thousands of people, she could handle a room of fifty. I also added that the only person she needed to impress was herself. That sort of stuff. Oh, and I bribed her with post-recital ice cream if she got on stage and performed.โ
Through the glow of the fire, I can see the smile on Ronโs face. โYouโre a good dad.โ He turns to me. โWhat about you two? Any kids in the future?โ
My cocktail goes down the wrong pipe, turning me into a sputtering mess, but somehow, I still find the mental wherewithal to pull my marshmallow from the flame before it burns. All while replaying Ronโs question if Iโm going to have Ryanโs babies anytime soon.
Annie and Ethan chuckle into each other, finding this entire scenario hilarious.
Ron cocks his head, as if heโs testing me for the answer, quickly reminding me that weโve yet to fully convince him of our relationship or Ryanโs drastic and sudden change.
โI uhโฆweโฆโ I stumble.
A blanket settles around my shoulders. โWe havenโt talked about it yet,โ Ryan says with full honesty. In fact, it might be the most honest thing weโve said to Ron tonight.
โSettle down, Ronald,โ Caroline condemns. โTheyโre new and young and in love. Let them enjoy it. Theyโre in the exciting stage, when your bellies fill with butterflies from the prospect of seeing each other. Although, that stage may have already passed for you two since you live together.โ
โWellโโ
โItโs still like that.โ I cut Ryan off, looking up at him over my shoulder. โVery much so.โ
Keeping his lips pressed together, he smiles down at me, those freaking dimples concaving with the glow of the fire lighting his face. โCan I sit with you?โ
I look to either side of me, but between me and all my winter layers thereโs no room left for Ryan on my seat.
He bends down, speaking quietly. โYou can sit on my lap, Blue.โ
As his girlfriend, of course I would. As his roommate who is forming an unhealthy crush, itโs a terrible idea.
I finish my cocktail for liquid courage and stand with the blanket still wrapped around me, my skewer and sad marshmallow in my hand. Ryan takes a seat, one palm lingering on my hip and guiding me down to sit on his lap. He situates the blanket over me, then pulls me closer, my back flush with his chest and the warmth of his breath lingering on the skin of my neck.
โGood?โ he whispers. โGood.โ
Good doesnโt do it justice. Iโm great. Iโm fan-fucking-tastic. This man is huge and warm and these goddamn thighs are pure muscle.
Under the blanket, his hand slides from my hip bone, curving inward, palm covering my thigh. His fingertips slip between my legs, dangerously close to a spot I need them, before he kneads my flesh as if he were holding back from more.
Acting. Fake. Pretend.
But the blanket is covering us, and this little show of restraint is for no one else to see.
Thereโs a light pounding on my backโhis heart rate speeding up and God am I tempted to rock my ass back a touch and see ifโ
โIndy,โ Annie interrupts, holding out the Tupperware. โFor your sโmores.โ
โOh. Thank you.โ I smile what Iโm certain is the guiltiest looking smile sheโs ever seen.
Concentrating on roasting my marshmallow, I attempt to ignore the stunning man underneath me. More chatter about kids circulates between the two couples, and I need to join in before I do something impulsive like grind my ass against my roommate to see if heโs still hard from earlier.
Turning towards the Morgans, I ask, โWhat about you two? Do you have any children?โ
Caroline reaches out to squeeze Ronโs hand. โWe wanted to,โ she says. โBut it wasnโt in the cards for us. We have nieces and nephews who we treat as our own though. Ron and I are lucky to each have a handful of siblings, so we still got the family we always wanted.โ
I swallow. โIโm sorry to hear that.โ
โDonโt be. Life has a funny way of fulfilling you, even when it isnโt in the way you assumed itโd be.โ
Canโt argue there. Lately, life has been anything but what I assumed.
Looking at Caroline, I might be seeing my future self. Although, I donโt know that Iโll be as lucky to have a husband that loves me the way Ron does her. Thereโs a high chance kids wonโt be in the cards for me either, but unfortunately, Iโm an only child with no prospects of nieces and nephews to sublimate my need for a family.
Thereโs always fostering or adoption, and Iโm thankful for those possibilities, but Iโm not sure how many adoption agencies are going to pick a single woman over a dual parent household.
โBlue.โ Ryan lightly shakes my leg, pulling me out of my trance. โYour marshmallow is black.โ
โOh shit.โ I pull it from the flame, blowing out the fire it brought with it. Ryan quietly laughs at me but pulls me in closer at the same time.
Typically, Iโm the one to carry the conversation. Thatโs my self-assigned role in our phony relationship, but I canโt seem to come up with something to talk about after what Caroline said.
Ryan takes the cue. โSo, we have Houston tomorrow night. Eastonโs been on a roll these past couple of weeks. We should think about double teaming him in the back court. Try to break his rhythm.โ
Ethan clears his throat, eyes bouncing from Ryan to Ron in warning. โWhat?โ
โWe talk enough about basketball during the week, donโt you think?โ Ron asks. โWe like to keep family dinners to that. Family. We came out here to get away from the city. To have a break for the night.โ
Ryan stiffens beneath me, and not in the way I want. Weโre here, supposedly showing Ron that Ryan cares about more than just the game he lives and breathes. That he understands relationships and camaraderie are what make a great leader, not just the score at the end of a game. And he just walked into basketball talk without realizing.
โOh,โ Ryan hesitates. โI know. I didnโtโโ
โI havenโt seen Ryan play in person yet,โ I blurt out, hoping to save him.
โWhat?โ Caroline bursts, lightly smacking her husband on the arm. โRon, did you hear that? Oh my goodness, you have to! Heโs so talented.โ
โHe is amazing,โ I agree.
โAre you in town tomorrow night?โ Ron asks. โCaroline and I are missing the game. Itโs her brotherโs birthday. Our seats are yours if youโd like them. Take a couple of friends and enjoy the game.โ
โReally? Iโd love to. Thatโs so generous of you.โ
โYou better dress up!โ Annie cuts in. โCourtside at your manโs game.
Youโll be photographed for sure.โ โCan you come sit with me?โ
โI wish I could, but Iโm officially at the stage of Ethanโs career where the girls are going to sleep in our family box by halftime, and Iโm trying to stay awake long enough to finish the game.โ
โDamn.โ Ethan laughs. โIโve really lost my appeal, huh? Falling asleep watching me play? Donโt let me keep you up, Ann.โ
Annie pats Ethanโs chest. โI donโt.โ
The energy has shifted once again, and Ryanโs little slip-up is in the past. As chatter continues, I refocus on my sโmore, adding twice as much chocolate as I probably should, but needing it to cover up the fact I burnt my marshmallow to shit.
Ryan rests his chin on my shoulder as I sandwich the graham crackers. โThank you,โ he whispers for no one else to hear. โYou saved me out there.โ
โWeโre a team. Iโm here to help you out.โ โI like the way that sounds.โ
Turning, I smile at him.
โDoes that mean the team shares sโmores too?โ
I shake my head in disagreement. โTheyโre reserved for the MVP.โ I make a dramatic performance of the giant bite I take right in front of Ryanโs mouth, letting my throat release a low moan in show of how good it is.
โDonโt make those little noises while youโre sitting on my lap.โ He grabs my thigh, his lips dangerously close to mine while he speaks. โOtherwise, youโre not going to be able to get up for a while.โ
Itโs all a show, but goddamn, this version of Ryan is not the same fake boyfriend I went to the fall banquet with. Heโs sexy and confident and comfortable out here. I like it far too much.
โYou meanย youย wonโt be able to get up for a while.โ โSame thing.โ
Turning around in his lap, I swing both of my legs to one side of his, offering him some of my sโmore. His lips wrap around it, taking a generous
bite, all the while keeping his ocean eyes penetrating mine.
Wow. It feels claustrophobic in this open air.
A bit of marshmallow falls onto his chin, and without thinking, I wipe it off with my thumb. But before I can clean off the mess, he grabs my hand and takes my finger in his mouth to suck off the remnants.
Iโm entirely out of breath when the warmth of his tongue swirls and flicks my thumb, very similarly to how Iโd imagine heโd swirl and flick something else.
Acting. Fake. Pretend.
Heโs getting good at this fake boyfriend thing, and if I donโt keep reminding my romantic heart of exactly what this is, Iโm going to be in trouble.