The door pushed open, shushing on its hinges.
โHello?โย A womanโs voice sailed into the room.ย โThe girl at the front desk said you wereย ๏ฌlming in here.โ
Did Bel know that voice? There was aย ๏ฌicker of recognition, but she couldnโt place it, not without a face. She tried to see, her stomach clenched, slug waiting in her mouth.
Clicking heels on polished wood as the woman approached them.
Ramsey pushed up from his chair, nodding at James behind the camera as he did.
โHello,โย he said in a bright voice.ย โThank you so much for arrivingย soย early, I hope your journey was OK. We were justย ๏ฌnishing up here, Susan.โ
Bel swallowed, jaw unclenching. For a second there, sheโd thought he was about to say Rโ
โNice toย ๏ฌnally meet you in person,โย the woman said, walking over to Ramsey, taking his outstretched hand, bracelets tinkling at her wrist as she shook it up and down.
Susan? Why couldnโt Bel think of any Susans?ย โLikewise,โย Ramsey replied.
She stepped into the light, well-dressed in a dark skirt suit and a frilly emerald scarf, and Bel couldย ๏ฌnally see who she was. Of course. Because
she wasnโt Susan to Bel. She was Grandma. Rachelโs mom.
โRams, should Iโโย Ash began, stillย ๏ฌoating there awkwardly, an unclear hand gesture, thumb pointed at Bel.
โOh, well now,โย Grandma said to Ash, looking him up and down.ย โArenโt you quite something?โ
Bel stood, cushions falling out of their neat arrangement behind her.ย โHi, Grandma.โ
The camera stood up with her, James removing it from the stand and placing it on his shoulder in one swift movement, stepping back to widen the shot.
Grandma blinked back at her.
โThat isnโt my Annabel, is it?โย she said, voice rising at the end.ย โOh my goodness, just look at you.โ
In the next moment, Belโs face was pushed into that frilly emerald scarf, as Grandma folded her into a tight hug, a cloying smell of perfumeย ๏ฌlling the back of her throat.
โI canโt believe it, you look so grown-up.โ
โWell,โย Bel said, her rib cage too tight.ย โThatโs because Iย didย grow up.
Iโve looked like this for a few years now.โ
Grandma stood back to study Bel, bonyย ๏ฌngers hooking onto her shoulders.
โGod, you look so much like Rachel.โย No she fucking didnโt.
Grandmaโs eyes misted over, a tremble in her bottom lip as she bit down on it.
โGrandaddy would have been so proud to see you all grown up. Iโm sad he missed it. If only your father hadnโt kept us away from you so much. Cruel, really. My only grandchild.โ
She let go of Bel and reached into her pocket for a wrinkled tissue, blowing her nose loudly, a bird-cawย ๏ฌlling the room.
โDidnโt even let you come to the funeral.โย Grandma sni๏ฌed. Bel wouldnโt let that slide.
โThatโs because you told him you didnโt want him there,โย she replied, sharpening her tongue, locking her jaw. Was Bel allowed to swear at the womanโhow old was she? Early seventies? That was acceptable, right?
โBut I wantedย youย there, Grandaddy would have too. But the only thing he really wanted, before he died, was toย ๏ฌnally see his daughterโs killer behind bars. Where he belongs,โย she said pointedly, wiping her nose again for e๏ฌect. And then:ย โCancer. Four years ago,โย speaking the words in Ramseyโs direction.
โVery sorry,โย he said, almost a whisper, like he didnโt want to intrude on the scene, disappearing into the background. Were they supposed to beย ๏ฌlming this?
Grandma smiled sweetly at her, but all Bel could think of was Dad calling Susan aย Masshole.ย Because she was from Massachusetts, and she was anโ
โOh, Iโve just had a perfect idea,โย she continued, oblivious.ย โYou could come stay with me this summer. It would be so lovely; you can help me out with the horses. Spend some time in the house your mom grew up in, get away fromย thatย man. What do you think, Annabel?โ
What did Bel think? That it was an empty o๏ฌer, and if Grandma really
cared, she would have visited, or called. But she didnโt. And when these cameras were gone, sheโdย ๏ฌy o๏ฌย and disappear again. People did that.
โSounds too good to be true,โย Bel said. See, she could be an asshole too.ย โAndย thatย man is my dad.โ
Grandmaโs teeth snapped together.ย โThat man isโโ
โHe did not kill Rachel.โ
Belโs eyesย ๏ฌlled withย ๏ฌre, just the two of them in the roomโฆand a Britishย ๏ฌlm crew, hiding in the dark.ย โYou got what you wanted, Grandma. He was charged withย ๏ฌrst-degree murder. He did his time in jail, waiting for the trial. And guess what? They found him innocent.โ
โNot guiltyย is not the same as innocent. And juries can get it wrong,โย Grandma said, lips moving too much around the words.ย โIโm not the only one who thinks so. Everyone knows he did it.โ
โHe had an alibi,โย Bel spat back, throwing in an angry smile.ย โYou seem to conveniently forget this.โ
โHe still had time,โย Grandma sco๏ฌed, turning toย ๏ฌnd Ramsey.
No, Bel would not let her have the last word; not when the cameras were watching, not about Dad.
โHe was at work that day. At around two oโclock, he cut his hand.
Badly.โ
โInjuries sustained when he killed her.โ
Bel laughed.ย โThere were witnesses. Multiple people in the auto repair shop who saw him cut his hand, Grandma. He bandaged it up and drove to the nearest emergency room.โ
โIn Berlin, where you and Rachel were.โย Grandmaโs eyes lightened, like sheโd scored a point. Just wait: Bel was going to bury her.
โThatโs a coincidence.โย She locked her jaw and took aim.ย โHeโs captured by security cameras the entire time heโs waiting for a nurse to get his stitches. The entire time heโs in the hospital. He leaves atย ๏ฌve-thirty-eight exactly and drives home. That takes around sixteen minutes, by the way, like his defense attorney said. Which brings us toย ๏ฌve-๏ฌfty-four p.m. when Dad gets home. Iโm found by Mr. Tripp a couple minutes after six p.m. The police arrive and call Dad at six-twenty-๏ฌve, once they identify me from Rachelโs ID. Dad was home for that call. Plus an earlier call to Rachelโs phone at six-oh-four, when heโs wondering where we are, which also pinged the cell tower proving he was at home. If youโre saying he drove straight to the abduction site, nineteen minutes away from the hospital, that means he had only eight minutes to abduct Rachel, kill her, dispose of her, and get home in time for that phone call. The drive home itself is six minutes. Itโs impossible. He didnโt do it.โย Bel caught her breath. Sheโd learned it all by heart long ago; wasnโt theย ๏ฌrst time sheโd had to use it.ย โYou think thatโs enough time to kill someone and hide the body forever?โ
Grandma looked pale, skin hanging in creases around her mouth; a life spent frowning.ย โThatโs your mother youโre talking about.โ
That word again. Just as unnatural in Grandmaโs voice.
โWhatโs going on here?โย A new voice entered the room, one Bel would know anywhere.
โDad?โย she said, searching for him beyond the glare.
Charlieโs silhouette crossed the room toward theย ๏ฌlm set, boots heavy against theย ๏ฌoorboards, shoulders heavy inside his grease-stained shirt.
โYou told me youโd be done with Bel at two,โย he said, eyes on Ramsey, one dirty hand skirting over his short hair, dark creamy brown like he had his co๏ฌee, a touch of gray at the temples.ย โItโs almost three-thirty. I got worried, her phoneโs o๏ฌ.โ
โSorry.โย Ramsey bowed his head.ย โTime got away from us.โ
โCharlie Price,โย Grandma said, holding on too long to the hiss at the end of his name.
Charlieโs eyesย ๏ฌnally found her, widened in recognition.
Bel caught movement over her dadโs shoulder, watching as Ramsey turned to James.ย Keep rolling,ย he mouthed silently, spinning hisย ๏ฌngers. The camera obeyed.
โWhat is she doing here?โย Charlie asked the room.
โTheyโre making a documentary about my daughter, why wouldnโt I be here?โย Grandma retorted, pu๏ฌng up beneath her bright green scarf. She glanced down and wrinkled her nose.ย โI see you still havenโt learned to wash your hands.โ
โI was at work, Susan,โย Charlie said evenly.ย โSome of us work for a living.โ
โUrgh, there he goes again,โย she sni๏ฌed.ย โSo combative all the time, Charlie. Must be awful for you to be around that every day, Annabel sweetie.โ
โIโโย Bel began.
โItโs OK, Bel, you donโt need to answer that.โย Her dad blinked slowly at her, his pale-blue wide-set eyes telling her everything he needed to. Angry people look guilty, he had always said.
โDoes he not let you speak, sweetie?โ
โSusan, please,โย Charlie said through gritted teeth, taking a bite out of the stale air.
โSuch a temper,โย Grandma replied, but she was the only one with a raised voice.
The knot was there again, in Belโs gut, tightening and tightening, chasing its own tail.
โWhy are you stillย ๏ฌlming?โย Charlie switched his attention to the boom microphoneย ๏ฌoating above his head, positioned in Sabaโs steady hands.ย โStop recording, please.โ
โWhy, Charlie?โย Grandma said.ย โYou donโt want the world to see who you really are?โ
The air in the room thickened, clotted and gummy as Bel forced it down, feeding that knot in her stomach.
โAnd who am I really, Susan?โย Charlie turned back to her.ย โYou want me to say it again?โ
Charlie backed o๏ฌ, lips pressed into a sti๏ฌย smile,ย ๏ฌngers skimming the stubble on his chin.ย โNo, thatโs OK. Youโve said enough over the years. Surprised you arenโt bored of talking to the cameras by now.โ
โIโll stop when everyone knows the truth,โย Grandma bit back.
โThis is pointless,โย Charlie sighed.ย โYou lost your daughter that day, Susan. I lost my wife, life as I knew it. Come on, Bel, grab your things and letโs go. You must be hungry.โ
She must be, but she couldnโt feel it around the terrible knot in her stomach.
โI worry about Annabel,โย Grandma said then, grasping for her arm again, but Bel stepped out of her reach.ย โI worry about her in that house, alone with you.โ
โDonโt be ridiculous,โย Charlie said.ย โBel, come on.โ
โComing.โย But she didnโt move; she was blocked in between them and the table with the chessboard, stuck in no-manโs-land.
โRidiculous, is it?โย Grandma said, closer to a shriek, the edges of her words crashing together.ย โRidiculous how the women close to you all seem to end up dead.โ
The room dropped into silence, sickly as it closed in.
Charlie narrowed his eyes, the movement creasing his face the same way as a laugh.ย โWhat do you mean by that?โ
Grandmaโs neck stretched out of her green scarf, like she thought she was winning the war.
โYour mother, she died when you were sixteen, didnโt she?โ
Bel tried not to gasp. Grandma couldnโt be implying thatโฆ
โThat was a tragic accident,โย Charlie said, voice low, a muscle ticking in one cheek.ย โShe fell down the stairs and hit her head. I was asleep at the time.โ
โOf course you were,โย Grandma said, a mocking coo in her voice, like she was soothing a child.ย โBut hereโs the thing, two tragic deaths starts to look like a pattern, Charlie.โ
Charlie laughed, a hollow sound to hide the hurt, shaking his head.ย โGreat,โย he said.ย โSo Iโm a wife-killer and a mother-killer now too. Awesome.โ
Fuck. He shouldnโt have said that. It was obviously sarcasm, anyone could see that, anyone with sense, but the camera was rolling and in the wrong hands someone could make that look very bad. Why had Dad agreed to this documentary anyway? Nothing good could come of it. Bel needed to do something bigger, something worse, to help him now.
โFuck you, Susan. Fuck o๏ฌย back to your fucking horses, you horsefucker,โย she said.
Now someone in the room did gasp.
Grandma retracted her neck, staring at Bel open-mouthed. Winning shot. Battle over.
โCome on, kiddo,โย Charlie said, suppressing a smile as they caught each otherโs eyes.ย โLetโs go.โย His face hardened.ย โRamsey, I need a word with you, outside. Leave the camera.โ
โYes, sure,โย Ramsey replied, emerging once more from the background.ย โAsh, see if Susan would like a drink. Cup of tea? Co๏ฌee?โ
โItโs far too late for ca๏ฌeine,โย Grandma sni๏ฌed, dropping down on a corner of the couch, defeated.
โOh, right,โย Ash said, shu๏ฌing in awkwardly.ย โUmโฆbeer?โ
โNo, Ash,โย Ramsey hissed, following Charlie to the door.ย โGet her water or something.โ
โWater or something, coming right up.โย Ash pointed an assuredย ๏ฌnger to the ceiling, spinning on his tartan legs to follow Ramsey out.
Grandma wasnโt looking at Bel, avoiding herโno change there, thenโย digging around for something in her purse. In fact, no one was currently looking at her, Saba and James turning their attention to their respective devices,ย ๏ฌddling with buttons and switches, the camera pointed away. Now was Belโs chance.
She reached down,ย ๏ฌngers outstretched, and swiped the black queen from the chessboard, tucking it up her sleeve before anyone looked. Hers now. The knot came undone in her gut, the pressure easing, a new lightness in her head as she felt the cool marble against her skin. A strong feeling, but it never lasted. At least the thing itself was permanent.
Bel walked away without a backward glance at the queen-less board, or the woman she hardly knew sitting behind it.
โBye, Grandma,โย she called over her shoulder, cheery and bright.ย โSo good to see you! Come visit again sometime.โ
Outside in the parking lot, the cool April breeze tickled Belโs face, the relief already on its way out, a new baby knot of tension ready in her belly, biding its time. Main Street was loud; the noisy whisper of cars, the seismic rumble of a passing eighteen-wheeler, and some kids squawking across the road, playing with the plastic moose outside Scoggins General Store.
Bel spotted her dad and Ramsey, halfway down the lot, close to Dadโs gray four-by-four, dusty and mud-๏ฌecked.
โI swear to you,โย Ramsey was saying, hands clasped together in front of his chest.ย โIt was not intentional. We went overtime with Bel, it took a little while for her to loosen up. And Susan arrived an hour earlier than we told her. They were not meant to overlap, I promise.โ
Bel knew he was telling the truth, but Ramsey hadnโt helped her out back there, so he was on his own.
โThat didnโt stop you taking advantage of the situation, keeping the camera rolling,โย Charlie said, wiping at the stain on his shirt.ย โLook at me: I
didnโt know I was beingย ๏ฌlmed today.โ
โIโm sorry, but we are making a documentary. Thatโs literally our job, to keep the cameras rolling. You agreed to all this, you signed a contract.โ
โNot like that, and you know it.โ
โCome on, Charlie, itโs not like youโre being unfairly compensated here.
And I emailed you to let you know about Susanโs interview.โย Charlie scratched his head in frustration.
โLook.โย Ramsey leveled his gaze at him.ย โThisย ๏ฌlm is about you and your family, theย ๏ฌrst time youโve ever spoken publicly, a glimpse into your lives, and how theyโve been a๏ฌected by Rachelโs disappearance. What Susan thinks of youโthatโs all part of it. The world has heard from her before. But itโs up to you to shape the narrative you want to tell. And, for what itโs worth, I thought you handled yourself very well in there.โ
Whatever Ramsey was doing, it was working. Charlie sighed, blew out his top lip.
โFine,โย he said.ย โJust no moreย overlaps.ย No more surprises.โ
Ramsey held up his hands in surrender.ย โNo more surprises, you got it. So weโll see you and the rest of the family at your house tomorrow? Weโll start setting up at eleven, if thatโs still OK?โ
โYes,ย ๏ฌne,โย Charlie said, ready to go; Bel could read it in the shift of his shoulders.
โYou were great today, Bel,โย Ramsey said, sharing his smile with her.ย โReally great. Thank you.โ
Had he already forgotten all the times sheโd answeredย I donโt know? Maybe the Grandma stu๏ฌย made up for it. Shame, Bel had probably appeared nice and sweet up until that point. Oh well.ย Sheย was allowed to look bad.
They were almost at the car when Dadย ๏ฌnally turned to look at her, locking eyes.
โHorsefucker,โย he laughed.ย โWho raised you?โ โOh, some terrible person.โ
Dad laughed harder. Good, she wanted to make him laugh, after that. Then, shaking it o๏ฌ, he asked:ย โWas it OK, the interview? Nothing too
di๏ฌcult, too upsetting?โ
โNah, it wasย ๏ฌne. Just long. And I wasnโt allowed to touch the fake water.โ
She reached for the door handle.
โOh wait.โย Dad stopped her.ย โIโve got a bunch of tools and stu๏ฌย on the front seat. Why donโt you hop in the back instead, kiddo?โ
Bel stared at the backseat, through the grimy glass of the window. She swallowed, eyes pulling away.
โNo, Iโll sit in the front,โย she said quickly, opening the passenger-side door.
โBel, thereโs crap all over it. Just go in the back.โ
โNo, no, no, itโsย ๏ฌne. See.โย She climbed in, over the bulky toolbox and piles of papers, food packets and bottles of Mountain Dewโbecause Dad was a child who still drank Mountain Dew. She lifted the toolbox and settled into the seat, placing it on her lap. It was heavy and uncomfortable, no space in the footwell between the junk and her backpack.ย โSee, plenty of room.โ
Dad shook his head, started the engine.ย โBacon sandwiches for lunch?โย he said, not looking for the answer, because he didnโt need to.
โYou know me too well.โ
