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Chapter no 1

The Reappearance of Rachel Price

โ€œWhat do you think happened to your mother?โ€

The word sounded wrong to Bel when he said it.ย Mother.ย Unnatural. Not quite as bad asย Mom.ย That one pushed between her lips, misshapen and mad, like a bloated slugย ๏ฌnally breaking free, splatting there on theย ๏ฌ‚oor for everyone to stare at. Because everyoneย would,ย everyone always did. The word didnโ€™t belong in her mouth, so Bel didnโ€™t say it, not if she could help it. At least there was a coldness toย mother,ย a sense of distance.

โ€œItโ€™s OK, please take your time,โ€ย Ramsey said, the vowels clipped and

exposed.

Bel looked across at him, avoiding the camera. Lines of concern crisscrossed his black skin, pulling around his eyes as theyย ๏ฌxed on Belโ€™s, because she was already taking her time, too much, more than she had in the pre-interviews the past few days. He reached up to scratch his temple, right where his dark coiled hair faded out above his ears. Ramsey Lee:ย ๏ฌlmmaker, director, from South Londonโ€”a whole world away, and yet here he was in Gorham, New Hampshire, sitting across from her.

Ramsey cleared his throat.

โ€œUmโ€ฆ,โ€ย Bel began, choking on that slug.ย โ€œI donโ€™t know.โ€

Ramsey sat back, his chair creaking, and Bel knew from theย ๏ฌ‚icker of disappointment in his face that she was doing a bad job. Worse. It must

have been the camera. The camera changed things, the permanence of it. One day thousands of people would watch this, separated from her only by the glass of their television screens. They would analyze every word she said, every pause she took, and have something to say about it. Theyโ€™d study her face: her warm white skin and theย ๏ฌ‚ush of her cheeks, her sharp chin that sharpened more when she spoke and especially when she smiled, her short honey-blond hair, her round gray-blue eyes.ย Doesnโ€™t she look just like Rachel did,ย theyโ€™d say, those people beyond the television screen. Bel thought she looked more like her dad, actually. Thanks, though.

โ€œSorry,โ€ย Bel added, pressing her eyelids together, bright orange patches where the three softbox lights glared at her. She just had to get through this documentary, pretend to not be hating every second, talk about Rachel, then life could go back to normal, back to not talking about Rachel.

Ramsey shook his head, a smile breaking through.ย โ€œDonโ€™t worry,โ€ย he said.ย โ€œItโ€™s a di๏ฌƒcult question.โ€

It wasnโ€™t, though, not really. And the answer wasnโ€™t di๏ฌƒcult either. Bel really didnโ€™t know what had happened to her. No one did. That was the point of all this.

โ€œI think she wasโ€”โ€

Someone stumbled behind the camera, tripping on a cable that ripped out of the wall. One of the lightsย ๏ฌ‚ickered and died, swaying on its rickety leg. A hand reached out to grab it before it fell, righting it.

โ€œOh shit. Sorry, Rams,โ€ย the tripper said, chasing the loose wire back to the outlet. Now that the light was out, Bel could see him properly for theย ๏ฌrst time. She couldnโ€™t say sheโ€™d noticed him before, when Ramsey had introduced the crew, too dazzled by the lights and the camera. He must have been the youngest of the four documentary crew members, couldnโ€™t be much older than her. And he was, just maybe, the most ridiculous person Bel had ever seen. He had shoulder-length brown hair that fell in thick curls, pushed o๏ฌ€ย to one side of his pale face, full of angles and shadows. He woreย ๏ฌ‚ared tartan pants and a bright purple sweater with little green-and-yellow dinosaurs marching across his chest.

โ€œSorry,โ€ย he said again, theย oย giving him away; must be from London too. He grunted as he pushed the plug in and the light sparked back to life, hiding him from Bel. Thank God, that ugly sweater was distracting.

โ€œI told you to ga๏ฌ€er all the wires down, Ash,โ€ย Ramsey said, shifting to glance behind the box light.

โ€œI didโ€ฆ,โ€ย came Ashโ€™s voice from behind the light, somehow angular, just like his face.ย โ€œUntil the tape ran out.โ€

โ€œMate, we have likeย ๏ฌfty thousand rolls upstairs,โ€ย Ramsey replied.

โ€œFifty thousand and one,โ€ย said the woman standing behind the microphone: a long pole balanced on a tripod, with aย ๏ฌ‚u๏ฌ€y gray head hovering over Bel and Ramsey, just above the shot. Saba, that was what Ramsey had called her, introducing her asย the Sound Person.ย She was wearing a huge pair of headphones that dwarfed her face, pushing the brown skin of her cheeks into unnatural folds.

โ€œSorry,โ€ย came Ashโ€™s voice.ย โ€œIโ€™llย ๏ฌx it later.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s OK,โ€ย Ramsey said, his face softening for a second. Then, to the man behind the huge camera:ย โ€œJames, why are you panning to Ash?โ€

โ€œThought we were aiming for a cinรฉma vรฉritรฉ style for the doc, that you might want this in,โ€ย the camera operator replied.

โ€œNo, I donโ€™t want this in. Letโ€™s reset the shot and go for another take.

And everyone watch where youโ€™re stepping this time.โ€

Ramseyย ๏ฌ‚ashed an apologetic smile at Bel, sitting here on a plush couch across from them all, the cushions artfully arranged and rearranged behind her.

โ€œAsh is my brother-in-law,โ€ย he said, as though in explanation.ย โ€œKnown him since he was eleven. Itโ€™s hisย ๏ฌrst job, isnโ€™t it, Ash? Camera assistant.โ€

Ash: camera assistant. Saba: sound person. James: camera operator. And Ramsey:ย ๏ฌlmmaker, producer, director. Must have been nice, to have words like that follow your name, words youโ€™d chosen. Belโ€™s were di๏ฌ€erent:ย This is Annabel. The daughter of Rachel Price.ย That last part said in a knowing whisper. Because even though Rachel was gone, everything existed only in relation to her. Gorham wasnโ€™t its own place anymore; it was the town where Rachel Price had lived. Number 33 Milton Street wasnโ€™t Belโ€™s home,

it was the house Rachel Price had lived in. Belโ€™s dad, Charlie Price, well, he wasย Rachel Priceโ€™s husband,ย even though the Price part had come from him.

โ€œAsh, the clapper,โ€ย Ramsey reminded him.

โ€œOh.โ€ย Ash emerged from behind the light, a black-and-white clapper board clasped between his hands. Printed on it were the words:ย The Disappearance of Rachel Price.ย The name of the documentary. Below that, a handwritten:ย Interview with Bel.ย And she was surprised, really, that it didnโ€™t just sayย Rachel Priceโ€™s daughter.

Ash walked in front of the camera, the hems of his pants swishing loudly together.

โ€œTake six,โ€ย he said, bringing the clapper stick down to the slate with a sharp bang, hurrying out of the shot.

โ€œLetโ€™s start again.โ€ย Ramsey let out a long breath. Theyโ€™d been here for hours already, and it was starting to show on his face.ย โ€œYour mum has now been missing for more than sixteen years. In all that time, there has been no sign of her. No activity on her bank accounts, no communication with family, no body found despite extensive searches. Of course there have beenย sightings,โ€ย he said, leaning on the word too hard so it came out sideways.ย โ€œPeople on the internet who claim to have seen Rachel in Paris. Brazil. Even one a few months ago nearby in North Conway. But of course, these are unsubstantiated claims. Your mum vanished without a trace on February thirteenth, 2008. What do you think happened to her?โ€

Bel couldnโ€™t sayย I donโ€™t knowย again, otherwise sheโ€™d never be allowed to

leave.

โ€œItโ€™s as much a mystery for me as the rest of the world,โ€ย she said, and from theย ๏ฌ‚ash in Ramseyโ€™s eyes, she knew that was a better answer. OK, keep going.ย โ€œI know all the theories people have about what happened. And if I had to pick the oneโ€ฆโ€

Ramsey nodded, urging her on.

โ€œI think she was trying to leave. She left. Then maybe she was killed by an opportunistic killerโ€”thatโ€™s the term the media uses. Or maybe she got lost in the White Mountains and died in the snow, and an animal got to her remains. Thatโ€™s why we never found her.โ€

Ramsey leaned forward,ย ๏ฌnger cupping his chin thoughtfully.

โ€œSo, Bel, youโ€™re saying you think the most likely scenario is that your mother is dead?โ€

Bel half nodded, staring down at the co๏ฌ€ee table in front of her. The full glass bottle of water that was a prop only, she wasnโ€™t allowed to drink it. The marble chessboard laid out with all the pieces prepared for battle, her knees pointed down the center in no-manโ€™s-land. This repurposed conference room in the Royalty Inn hotel on Main Street was the stage. The water bottle, the chessboard and the cushions were the props. None of this was real to anyone else, it was all for show.

โ€œYes. I think sheโ€™s dead. I think she died that day or not long after.โ€ย Did she think that? Did it really matter? Gone was gone.

Ramsey was looking at the chessboard too now.

โ€œYou say you think your mum was trying to leave,โ€ย he said, bringing his eyes back.ย โ€œDo you mean that she was running away?โ€

Bel shrugged.ย โ€œI guess.โ€

โ€œBut there is compelling evidence that opposes theย ran awayย theory. Rachel didnโ€™t withdraw any money from her bank account in the days and weeks leading up to her disappearance. If she was planning to run away and start a new life, she would have needed money to do that. Not only that, but she didnโ€™t take her wallet containing her ID with her, and sheโ€™d left her bank cards at home. Nor did she take her phone. She didnโ€™t pack any clothes or belongings. None at all. She didnโ€™t even take her coat with her on that freezing day, it was left in the car too, with her phone and wallet.โ€

And me,ย Bel thought.

โ€œWhat do you say to that?โ€ย Ramsey asked her. What did he want her to say?

โ€œI donโ€™t know.โ€ย Bel went back to those three words, hid behind them. Ramsey seemed to sense the barricade, backing o๏ฌ€ย and straightening up.ย โ€œYouโ€™re eighteen now, Bel. You werenโ€™t even two years old when Rachel

went missing. Twenty-two months old, in fact. And of course, one of the most notable things about this case that sets it apart from all others, was that you were with her. You were with your mum when she disappeared.โ€

โ€œYes,โ€ย Bel said, knowing what question was coming next. It didnโ€™t matter how many times it was asked; the answer was the same. And it was worse for Bel, trust her.

โ€œAnd you donโ€™t remember anything at all that day? Being in the mall?

Being in the car?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t remember anything,โ€ย she saidย ๏ฌ‚atly.ย โ€œI was too young to remember. Or to tell anyone what I saw that day.โ€

โ€œAnd hereโ€™s the craziest thing.โ€ย Ramsey leaned forward, words spiking in the middle as he attempted to keep his voice even.ย โ€œYou were a toddler, too young to communicate properly with anyone, with the police.ย Butย if someone did take Rachel, abduct her from the car where it was found abandoned with you inside, that means you must have seen exactly who it was. You saw them. At one point in time, you must have known, however brie๏ฌ‚y, the answer to the mystery.โ€

โ€œI know.โ€

Crazy, wasnโ€™t it? The craziest thing, in fact.

Bel closed her eyes, three blazing sunspots invading the dark world inside her head. Those lights were just too bright. Were they giving o๏ฌ€ย heat too, or was that just her imagination? Explain why her face was so hot, then.

โ€œAre you OK to continue?โ€ย Ramsey asked her.

โ€œYeah.โ€ย She didnโ€™t have a choice, really. Contracts had been agreed to, waivers and releases signed. And, most importantly, she had promised her dad. She could pretend to be nice, for his sake. Sayย yesย andย noย andย sorryย in the right places.

โ€œYou really have no memories from that day at all?โ€

โ€œNo.โ€ย And she wouldnโ€™t the next time he asked too. Or the one after that. She had no memory of what happened, no idea. Just what she knew later, when she was old enough to know things: that she had been left behind. Abandoned there in the backseat of the car, however it happened.

โ€œThis case is one of the most discussed and studied on true-crime podcasts and social media, enduring in the public consciousness even sixteen years later,โ€ย Ramsey said, eyes glittering.ย โ€œThe name Rachel Price is

almost synonymous with mystery. Because her disappearance was like a puzzle, and itโ€™s human nature to want to solve a puzzle, donโ€™t you think?โ€

Was Bel supposed to answer that? Too late.

โ€œAnd thatโ€™s because,โ€ย Ramsey continued,ย โ€œRachel seemed to disappear twice that day. Can you tell us what happened that afternoon, at two p.m.? Where your mum and you went?โ€

โ€œAgain?โ€

โ€œYes, please. For the camera,โ€ย Ramsey said, taking the blame o๏ฌ€ย Bel and putting it on the camera instead. Cameras didnโ€™t have feelings. Ramsey seemed nice like that. But then, of course, he wanted her to think he was nice, didnโ€™t he?

Bel cleared her throat.ย โ€œThat afternoon, I was in the car with Rachel. She drove us to the White Mountains Mall, which is in Berlin. Not far from Gorham, about ten minutes away. Security cameras recorded both of us walking into the mall. Rachel was carrying me.โ€

โ€œAnd why were you at the mall?โ€

โ€œShe often took me there on her days o๏ฌ€, Iโ€™ve been told,โ€ย Bel said.ย โ€œRachel used to work at a co๏ฌ€eehouse there. Went back for the co๏ฌ€ee, to see her old friends. That wasnโ€™t out of the ordinary. It was called the Moose Mouse Co๏ฌ€eehouse.โ€

Of course, Bel didnโ€™t remember that, but sheโ€™d seen the security camera footage since, the last images of Rachel Price alive. Sitting at the co๏ฌ€eehouse, baby Bel in a bright blue padded coat with marshmallow arms, wriggling in Rachelโ€™s lap. Surrounded by empty tables. Blurry but happy, those tinyย ๏ฌgures seemed. Not knowing that they were both about to disappear, one for good.

โ€œBut whatย wasย out of the ordinary,โ€ย Ramsey countered,ย โ€œis that after youย ๏ฌnished your drinks, Rachel got up to leave, still carrying you. You walked away from the Moose Mouse Co๏ฌ€eehouse at two-forty-nine, the cameras show us this, we can follow you on the footage. But then you turn a corner, a blind spot between the mall security cameras, andโ€ฆ?โ€

He seemed to be waiting for something.

โ€œWe disappeared,โ€ย Bel said,ย ๏ฌlling in the blanks.

โ€œVanished into thin air,โ€ย Ramsey added.ย โ€œYou donโ€™t appear on the camera you should have if Rachel had kept walking. You donโ€™t appear on any of the cameras after that, none of the ones by the exits. Nowhere. Which means you couldnโ€™t have left. And yet you did. You both disappeared inside that mall, and there is no explanation. Any idea how?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know, I donโ€™t remember.โ€ย Bit of a running theme.

โ€œPolice analyzed that footage after Rachelโ€™s disappearance. They studied and counted everyone into the mall, and counted everyone back out again. The numbers matched except for two. You and Rachel. The only two who entered and never left. The police even considered whether youโ€™d left in disguise for some reason, changed your appearances, but that didnโ€™t work with the numbers. Youโ€™d simply vanished.โ€

Bel shrugged, unsure what Ramsey wanted her to say. She was un- vanished now.

โ€œThe next thing we know, youโ€™ve reappeared. You were found alone in Rachelโ€™s car, abandoned on the side of a road, close to Moose Brook State Park. The car was pulled up on the shoulder, in the snow, headlights on, engine still running. A manโ€โ€”Ramsey checked his notesโ€”โ€œJulian Tripp, was driving past and found you just after six oโ€™clock. He called the police immediatelyโ€”โ€

โ€œHeโ€™s actually my homeroom teacher now. Mr. Tripp.โ€ย Ramsey smiled, didnโ€™t mind the interruption.ย โ€œSmall world.โ€ โ€œWell, small town,โ€ย Bel corrected him.

โ€œI think itโ€™s clear why true-crime fanatics have focused on this case. There have been no answers since the trial ended. It canโ€™t be solved and it will never make sense. It must be so much harder for you because you were there for all of it.โ€ย Ramsey paused.ย โ€œWhat has it been like, Bel? Growing up in the shadow of this impossible mystery?โ€

No one had ever put it quite like that before. It did feel like a shadow, most days, a dark, unpleasant thing that you looked away from if you knew what was good for you. And Bel did. She rubbed her nose, hard enough to click the cartilage inside. Then remembered she was on camera, the

microphone hovering above her. Damn. Hopefully Ramsey would edit that out.

โ€œItโ€™s been OK,โ€ย she said eventually.ย โ€œI accepted a long time ago that we would never have answers. Itโ€™s not my fault I canโ€™t remember any of it; I was just too young. And because I donโ€™t have those memories, we will never solve the Rachel Price mystery, but Iโ€™m OK with that. Honestly. I have my dad.โ€ย Bel paused, a small smile stretching her mouth, pulling her chin into a point.ย โ€œHe tried his hardest to give me as normal a childhood possible, under the circumstances. Heโ€™s the best dad I could ask for. Thatโ€™s why I donโ€™t want people to feel sorry for me,โ€ย she said, meaning it. She hoped the camera could tell that.ย โ€œIโ€™m lucky, actuallyโ€”โ€

โ€œUm, Ramsey,โ€ย Ashโ€™s voiceย ๏ฌ‚oated in beyond the light.ย โ€œWeโ€™reย ๏ฌlming, Ash.โ€ย Ramsey turned to glare at him.

โ€œOh, I know.โ€ย He sidestepped closer and Bel couldย ๏ฌnally see him again, blinking him into existence.ย โ€œItโ€™s just that weโ€™ve gone over schedule, and I thinkโ€ฆโ€

He gestured at the door, leading into the lobby of the hotel. Encased in the window panel was a face, pushed up against the glass, watching them. Bel shaded her eyes with a cupped hand, but the lights were still too bright to see who it was.

โ€œSheโ€™s here already,โ€ย Ash said, checking the time on his phone.ย โ€œSheโ€™s early.โ€

โ€œWhoโ€™sย she?โ€ย Bel asked. She knew that Carter and Aunt Sherry werenโ€™tย ๏ฌlming their interviews until next week.

โ€œShit,โ€ย Ramsey hissed, checking his own watch. He glanced quickly at Bel, eyes wide, losing their kind lines.

Bel leaned forward, losing hers too. She hardened her voice.ย โ€œWhoโ€™s here, Ramsey? Whoโ€™sย she?โ€

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