โโUNDERSTAND. SHEโLL WANT TO VISIT her family.โ
โIf she does, it can only be for a day at the most. I donโt approve of her, but the people are fond of her, not to mention the Italians. It would be very inconvenient if she died.โ
I opened my eyes. I was on my bed, but not under my covers. I saw out of the corner of my eye that Mary was in the room with me.
The shouting voices were muted, and I realized that was because they were just outside my door.
โThat wonโt be enough. She loved her father dearly; sheโll want time,โ Maxon argued.
I heard something like a fist hitting a wall, and Mary and I both jumped at the sound. โFine,โ the king huffed. โFour days. Thatโs it.โ
โWhat if she decides not to come back? Even though this wasnโt rebel caused, she might want to stay.โ
โIf sheโs dumb enough to want that, then good riddance. She was supposed to give me an answer about those announcements anyway, and if sheโs not willing, then she can stay home.โ
โShe said she would. She told me earlier tonight,โ Maxon lied. But he knew, didnโt he?
โAbout time. As soon as she returns, weโll get her in the studio. I want this done by the New Year.โ His tone was irritated, even as he got what he wanted.
There was a pause before Maxon dared to speak. โI want to go with her.โ
โLike hell you will!โ King Clarkson yelled.
โWeโre down to four, Father. That girl might be my wife. Am I supposed to send her alone?โ
โYes! If she dies, itโs one thing. If you die, itโs a whole other issue.
Youโre staying here!โ
I thought the fist hitting the wall this time was Maxonโs. โI am not a commodity! And neither are they! I wish for once you would look at me and see a person.โ
The door opened quickly, and Maxon came in. โIโm so sorry,โ he said, walking over and sitting on the bed. โI didnโt mean to wake you.โ
โIs it real?โ
โYes, darling. Heโs gone.โ He gently took my hand, looking pained. โThere was a problem with his heart.โ
I sat up and threw myself into Maxonโs arms. He held me tightly, letting me weep into his shoulder.
โDaddy,โ I cried. โDaddy.โ
โHush, darling. Itโll be all right,โ Maxon soothed. โYouโll fly out tomorrow morning to go pay your respects.โ
โI didnโt get to say good-bye. I didnโt . . .โ
โAmerica, listen to me. Your father loved you. He was proud youโd done so well. He wouldnโt hold this against you.โ
I nodded, knowing he was right. Practically everything my dad had told me since Iโd come here was about how proud he was.
โThis is what you need to do, okay?โ he instructed, wiping tears off my cheeks. โYou need to sleep as best as you can. Youโll fly out tomorrow and stay at home for four days with your family. I wanted to get you more time, but Father is quite insistent.โ
โItโs okay.โ
โYour maids are making an appropriate dress for the funeral, and theyโll pack everything you need. Youโre going to have to take one of them with you, and a few guards. Speaking of which,โ he said, standing to acknowledge the figure standing in the open door. โOfficer Leger, thank you for coming.โ
โNot at all, Your Majesty. I apologize for being out of uniform, sir.โ
Maxon reached out and shook Aspenโs hand. โLeast of my concerns right now. Iโm sure you know why youโre here.โ
โI do.โ Aspen turned to me. โIโm very sorry for your loss, miss.โ โThank you,โ I mumbled.
โWith the elevated rebel activity, weโre all concerned about Lady Americaโs safety,โ Maxon started. โWeโve already had some local officers dispatched to her home and to the sites being used over the next few days, and there are still palace-trained guards there, of course. But with her actually in the house, I think we should send more.โ
โAbsolutely, Your Majesty.โ
โAnd youโre familiar with the area?โ โVery, sir.โ
โGood. Youโll be heading up the team going with her. Pick whomever you like, between six and eight guards.โ
Aspen raised his eyebrows.
โI know,โ Maxon conceded. โWeโre stretched tight right now, but at least three of the palace guards weโve sent to her house have already abandoned their posts. And I want her to be as safe as, if not safer than, she is here.โ
โIโll take care of it, sir.โ
โExcellent. There will also be a maid going with her; watch her as well.โ He turned to me. โDo you know who you want to go?โ
I shrugged, unable to think straight.
Aspen spoke on my behalf. โIf I may, I know Anne is your head maid, but I remember Lucy getting along well with your sister and mother. Maybe it would be good for them to see a friendly face right now.โ
I nodded. โLucy.โ
โVery good,โ Maxon said. โOfficer, you donโt have much time.
Youโll be leaving after breakfast.โ
โIโll get to work, sir. See you in the morning, miss,โ Aspen said. I could tell he was having a hard time keeping his distance, and, in that moment, I wanted nothing more than for him to comfort me. Aspen really knew my dad, and I wanted someone who understood him like I did to miss him with me.
Once Aspen left, Maxon came to sit with me again.
โOne more thing before I go.โ He reached for my hands, holding them tenderly. โSometimes when youโre upset, you tend to be impulsive.โ He looked at me, and I actually smiled a little at the accusing look in his eyes. โTry to be sensible while youโre away. I need you to take care of yourself.โ
I rubbed the back of his hands with my thumbs. โI will. I promise.โ โThank you.โ A sense of peace encircled us, the way it did
sometimes. Even though my world would never be the same now, for that moment, with Maxon holding me, the loss didnโt ache so much.
He leaned his head toward mine until our foreheads touched. I heard him draw in a breath as if he might say something and then change his mind. After a few seconds, he did it again. Finally, Maxon leaned back and shook his head and kissed my cheek. โStay safe.โ
Then he left me alone in my sadness.
It was cold in Carolina, the humidity from the ocean coming inland and making the chill in the air damp. Secretly, Iโd hoped for snow, but it didnโt happen. I felt guilty for wanting anything at all.
Christmas Day. Iโd spent the last few weeks imagining it several different ways. I thought maybe Iโd be here, eliminated and home. Weโd all be around our tree, dejected that I wasnโt a princess but blissfully happy to be together. Iโd also considered opening gifts under the massive tree at the palace, eating myself sick, and laughing with the other girls and Maxon, for one day every corner of the competition suspended to celebrate.
Never could I have imagined Iโd be bracing myself for the task of putting my father in the ground.
As the car pulled up to my street, I started to see the masses. Though people ought to be home with their families, they instead crowded outside in the cold. I realized they were hoping to catch a glimpse of me, and I felt a little sick. People pointed as we passed, and some local news crews took footage.
The car stopped in front of my house, and the people waiting started cheering. I didnโt understand. Didnโt they know why I was here? I walked up the cracked sidewalk with Lucy by my side and six guards surrounding us. No chance was being taken.
โLady America!โ people called.
โCan I have your autograph?โ someone screamed, and others joined
in.
I kept moving, looking ahead. For once, I felt I could excuse myself
from being theirs. I lifted my head to the lights hanging off the roof. Dad did that. Who was going to take them down?
Aspen, at the head of my entourage, knocked on the front door and waited. Another guard came to answer and he and Aspen spoke quickly before we were allowed inside. It was hard to get all of us down the hall, but once the space opened into the living room, I immediately felt something . . . wrong.
This wasnโt home anymore.
I told myself I was crazy. Of course this was home. It was just the unfamiliarity of how this was unfolding. Everyone was here, even Kota. But Dad was gone, so it was only natural that it wouldnโt seem quite right. And Kenna was holding a baby who Iโd never seen in real life before. Iโd have to get used to that.
And while Mom was in an apron and Gerad was in his pajamas, I was dressed for dinner at the palace: hair up, sapphires on my ears, and layers of luxurious fabrics draping to my heeled shoes. It felt as if I wasnโt welcome for a moment.
But May hopped to her feet and ran to hug me, crying into my shoulder. I held her back. I remembered that this might be a strange adjustment, but this was the only place I could be right now. I had to be with my family.
โAmerica,โ Kenna said, standing with her child in her arms. โYou look so beautiful.โ
โThanks,โ I muttered, embarrassed.
She gave me a one-armed hug, and I peeked into the blankets at my sleeping niece. Astraโs little face was serene as she slept, and every few seconds sheโd unclench her tiny fist or fidget just a bit. She was breathtaking.
Aspen cleared his throat. โMrs. Singer, Iโm very sorry for your loss.โ Mom gave him a tired smile. โThank you.โ
โIโm sorry weโre not here under better circumstances, but with Lady America home, weโre going to have to be quite diligent about security,โ he said, a ring of authority in his voice. โWeโre going to have to ask everyone to stay in this house. I know itโll be tight, but itโs only for a few days. And the guards have been provided an apartment nearby so we can rotate easily. Weโre going to try to be as out of the way as possible.
โJames, Kenna, Kota, weโre prepared to leave for your homes to pick up your necessities whenever youโre ready to go. If you need some time to make a list, thatโs fine. Weโre on your schedule.โ
I smiled a little, happy to see Aspen this way. Heโd grown so much. โI canโt stay away from my studio,โ Kota said. โI have deadlines.
There are pieces due.โ
Aspen, still professional, answered him. โAny materials you need can come to the studio here.โ He pointed toward our converted garage. โWeโll make as many trips as necessary.โ
Kota crossed his arms and mumbled. โThat place is a dump.โ
โFine,โ Aspen said firmly. โThe choice is yours. You can either work in the dump, or you can risk your life at your apartment.โ
The tension in the air was awkward, and very unnecessary at the moment. I decided to break it. โMay, you can sleep with me. Kenna and James can have your room.โ
They nodded.
โLucy,โ I whispered. โI want you near us. You might have to sleep on the floor, but I want you close by.โ
She stood a bit taller. โI wouldnโt be anywhere else, miss.โ โWhere am I supposed to sleep?โ Kota demanded.
โWith me,โ Gerad offered, though he didnโt seem excited about it. โAbsolutely not!โ Kota scoffed. โIโm not sleeping on a bunk bed
with a child.โ
โKota!โ I said, stepping away from my sisters and Lucy. โYou can sleep on the couch or in the garage or in the tree house for all I care; but if you donโt check your attitude, Iโll send you back to your apartment right now! Have some gratitude for the security youโve been offered. Need I remind you that tomorrow weโre burying our father? Either stop the bickering or go home.โ I turned on my heel and headed down the hall. Without checking, I knew Lucy was right behind me, suitcase in hand.
I opened the door to my room, waiting for her to come in with me. Once her skirts swished past the frame, I slammed it shut, heaving a sigh.
โWas that too much?โ I asked.
โIt was perfect!โ she replied with delight. โYou might as well be the princess already, miss. Youโre ready for it.โ