During half term, while Molly was o๏ฌย school and on a Tuesday when Ash wasnโt in the hospital, they popped on the train to London to see Noraโs brother and Ewan in their ๏ฌat in Hammersmith.
Joe looked well, and his husband looked the same as he had when Nora had seen him on her brotherโs phone in her Olympic life. Joe and Ewan met at a cross-training class at their local gym. Joe was, in this life, working as a sound engineer, while Ewan โ Dr Ewan Langford, to be precise โ was a consultant radiologist for the Royal Marsden Hospital, so he and Ash had a lot of hospital-related stu๏ฌย to moan about together.
Joe and Ewan were lovely with Molly, asking her detailed questions about what Panda was up to. And Joe cooked them all a great garlicky pasta-and-broccoli meal.
โItโs Puglian, apparently,โ he told Nora. โGetting a bit of our heritage in there.โ
Nora thought of her Italian grandfather and wondered what he had felt like when he realised the London Brick Company was actually based in Bedford. Had he been truly disappointed? Or had he, actually, just decided to make the most of it?ย ๎ขere was probably a version of their grandfather whoย wentย to London and on his ๏ฌrst day got run over by a double-decker bus at Piccadilly Circus.
Joe and Ewan had a full wine rack in the kitchen and Nora noticed that one of the bottles was a Californian Syrah from the Buena Vista vineyard. Nora felt her skin prickle as she saw the two printed signatures at the bottom โ Alicia and Eduardo Martรฌnez. She smiled, sensing Eduardo was just as
happy in this life. She wondered, momentarily, who Alicia was and what she was like. At least there were good sunsets there.
โYou okay?โ asked Ash, as Nora gazed absent-mindedly at the label. โYeah, sure. It just, um, looks like a good one.โ
โ๎ขatโs my absolute fave,โ said Ewan. โSuch a bloody good wine. Shall we get it open?โ
โWell,โ said Nora, โonly if you were going to have a drink anyway.โ
โWell, Iโm not,โ said Joe. โIโve been overdoing it a bit recently. Iโm in a little teetotal patch.โ
โYou know what your bro is like,โ added Ewan, planting a kiss on Joeโs cheek. โAll or nothing.โ
โOh yeah. I do.โ
Ewan already had the corkscrew in his hands. โHad one hell of a day at work. So Iโm happy to guzzle the whole lot straight from the bottle if no one will join me.โ
โIโm in,โ said Ash.
โIโm okay,โ said Nora, remembering that the last time she had seen him, in the business lounge of a hotel, her brother had confessed to being an alcoholic.
๎ขey gave Molly a picture book and Nora read it with her on the sofa.
๎ขe evening progressed.ย ๎ขey talked news and music and movies. Joe and Ewan had quite enjoyedย Last Chance Saloon.
A little while later, and to everyoneโs surprise, Nora took a le๎ย turn out of
the safe environs of pop culture and cut to the chase with her brother.
โDid you ever get pissed o๏ฌย with me? You know, for backing out of the band?โ
โ๎ขat was years ago, sis. Lot of water under the bridge since then.โ โYou wanted to be a rock star, though.โ
โHe still is a rock star,โ said Ewan, laughing. โBut heโs all mine.โ โI always feel like I let you down, Joe.โ
โWell, donโt . . . But I feel like I let you down too. Because I was such an idiot . . . I was horrid to you for a little while.โ
๎ขese words felt like a tonic she had been waiting years to hear. โDonโt worry about it,โ she managed.
โBefore I was with Ewan, I was so dumb about mental health. I thought panic attacks were a big nothing . . . You know, mind over matter. Man up,
sis. But then when Ewan started having them, I understood how real they are.โ
โIt wasnโt just the panic attacks. It just felt wrong. I donโt know . . . For what itโs worth, I think youโre happier in this life than the one where youโreโ -she nearly saidย deadย – โin the band.โ
Her brother smiled and looked at Ewan. She doubted he believed it, but
Nora had to accept that โ as she now knew only too well โ some truths were just impossible to see.
