Ryan Bailey.
As inย theย Ryan Bailey. As in the Ryan Bailey of her fantasies, where they talked about Plato and Heidegger through a veil of steam in his West Hollywood hot tub.
โNora? You there? You look scared.โ
โUm, yeah. Iโm . . . yeah . . . Iโm . . . Iโve just . . . Iโm here . . . On a bus . . . A big . . . touring . . . yeah . . . Hi.โ
โGuess where I am?โ
She had no idea what to say. โHot tubโ seemed entirely inappropriate as an answer. โI honestly donโt know.โ
He panned the phone around a vast and opulent-looking villa, complete with bright furnishings and terracotta tiles and a four-poster double bed veiled in a mosquito net.
โNayarit, Mexico.โ He pronounced Mexico in a parody of Spanish, with the x as an h. He looked and sounded slightly di๏ฌerent to the Ryan Bailey in the movies. A bit pu๏ฌer. A bit more slurred. Drunker, perhaps. โOn location.
๎ขey got me shootingย Saloon 2.โ
โLast Chance Saloon 2? Oh, I so want to see the ๏ฌrst one.โ He laughed as if she had told the most hilarious joke. โStill dry as ever, Nono.โ
Nono?
โStaying at the Casa de Mรญta,โ he went on. โRemember?ย ๎ขe weekend we had there?ย ๎ขeyโve put me in the exact same villa. You remember? Iโm having a mezcal margarita in your honour. Where are you?โ
โBrazil. We were just doing a concert in Sรฃo Paulo.โ
โWow. Same landmass.ย ๎ขatโs cool.ย ๎ขatโs, yeah, cool.โ โIt was really good,โ she said.
โYouโre sounding very formal.โ
Nora was aware half of the bus was listening in. Ravi was staring at her as he drank a bottle of beer.
โIโm just . . . you know . . . on the bus . . .ย ๎ขere are people around.โ
โPeople,โ he sighed, as if it was a swear word. โ๎ขere are always people.
๎ขatโs the fucking problem. But hey, Iโve been thinking a lot recently. About what you said on Jimmy Fallon . . .โ
Nora tried to act as if every sentence he said wasnโt an animal running into the road.
โWhat did I say?โ
โYou know, about how it just ran its course. Me and you. How there were no hard feelings. I just want to thank you for saying that. Because I know I am a di๏ฌcult fucking person. I know that. But Iโm getting work for that.ย ๎ขe therapist Iโm seeing is really fucking good.โ
โ๎ขatโs . . . great.โ
โI miss you, Nora. We had great times. But there is more to life than fantastic s*x.โ
โYes,โ said Nora, trying to keep her imagination in check. โAbsolutely.โ
โWe had all kinds of great. But you were right to ๏ฌnish it. You did the right thing, in the cosmic order of things.ย ๎ขere is noย rejection,ย there is onlyย redirection. You know, Iโve been thinking a lot. About the cosmos. Iโve been tuning in. And the cosmos has been telling me I need to get my shit together. Itโs balance, man. What we had was too intense and our lives are too intense and itโs like Darwinโs third law of motion. About an action leading to a reaction. Something had to give. And you were the one who saw that and now we are just particles ๏ฌoating in the universe that may reconnect one day at the Chateau Marmont . . .โ
She had no idea what to say. โI think that was Newton.โ โWhat?โ
โ๎ขe third law of motion.โ
He tilted his head, like a confused dog. โWhat?โ โNever mind. It doesnโt matter.โ
He sighed.
โAnyway, Iโm going to ๏ฌnish this margarita. Because Iโve got an early training session. Mezcal, you see. Not tequila. Got to keep pure. Got this new trainer.ย ๎ขis MMA guy. Heโs intense.โ
โOkay.โ
โAnd Nono . . .โ โYeah?โ
โCan you just call me your special name for me again?โ โUmโโ
โYou know the one.โ
โObviously. Yeah. Course.โ She tried to think what it could be.ย Ry-ry? Rye bread? Plato?
โI canโt.โ
โPeople?โ
She made a show of looking around. โExactly. People. And you know, now that weโve moved on with our lives, it seems a bit . . . inappropriate.โ
He smiled a melancholy smile. โListen. Iโll be there for the ๏ฌnal LA show.
Front row. Staples Center. You wonโt be able to stop me, got it?โ โ๎ขatโs so sweet.โ
โFriends for ever?โ โFriends for ever.โ
Sensing they were nearing the end of the conversation, Nora suddenly had something to ask.
โWere you really into philosophy?โ
He burped. It was strange how shocking it was to realise that Ryan Bailey was a human being in a human body that generated gas.
โWhat?โ
โPhilosophy. Years ago, when you were playing Plato inย ๎ปe Atheniansย you gave an interview and you said you read a lot of philosophy.โ
โI readย life. And life is a philosophy.โ
Nora had no idea what he meant, but deep down she was proud of this other version of her for dumping an A-list movie star.
โI think you said at the time you read Martin Heidegger.โ
โWho is Martin Hot Dog? Oh, it was probably just press bullshit. You know, you say all sorts of shit.โ
โYeah. Of course.โ โAdios, amiga.โ
โAdios, Ryan.โ
And then he was gone and Joanna was smiling at her, saying nothing.
๎ขere was something teacherly and comforting about Joanna. She imagined that this version of herself liked Joanna. But then she remembered she was supposed to do a podcast on behalf of a band where she didnโt know the names of ๏ฌ๎y per cent of its members. Or the title of their last album. Orย anyย of their albums.
๎ขe coach pulled up at a grand-looking hotel outside of town. Fancy cars with darkened windows. Palm trees wrapped in fairy lights. Architecture from another planet.
โA former palace,โ Joanna told her. โDesigned by a top Brazilian architect. I forget his name.โ She looked it up. โOscar Niemeyer,โ she said a๎er a moment. โModernist. But this is meant to be more opulent than his usual stu๏ฌ. Best hotel in Brazil . . .โ
And then Nora saw a small crowd of people holding out their phones with outstretched arms, as if beggars with bowls, ๏ฌlming her arrival.
You can have everything and feel nothing. @NoraLabyrinth, 74.8K Retweets, 485.3K Likes
