WE VISIT THE GARDEN GNOME EMPORIUM
IN A WAY, ITโS NICE TO KNOW THERE AREย Greek gods out there, because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong. For instance, when youโre walking away from a bus thatโs just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and itโs raining on top of everything else, mostโ
people might think thatโs just really bad luck; when youโre a half-blood, you understand that some divine force really is trying to mess up your day.
So there we were, Annabeth and Grover and I, walking through the woods along the New Jersey riverbank, the glow of New York City making the night sky yellow behind us, and the smell of the Hudson reeking in our noses.
Grover was shivering and braying, his big goat eyes turned slit-pupiled and full of terror. โThree Kindly Ones. All three at once.โ
I was pretty much in shock myself. The explosion of bus windows still rang in my ears. But Annabeth kept pulling us along, saying: โCome on! The farther away we get, the better.โ
โAll our money was back there,โ I reminded her. โOur food and clothes.
Everything.โ
โWell, maybe if you hadnโt decided to jump into the fightโโ
โWhat did you want me to do? Let you get killed?โ
โYou didnโt need to protect me, Percy. I wouldโve been fine.โ โSliced like sandwich bread,โ Grover put in, โbut fine.โ โShut up, goat boy,โ said Annabeth.
Grover brayed mournfully. โTin cansโฆa perfectly good bag of tin cans.โ
We sloshed across mushy ground, through nasty twisted trees that smelled like sour laundry.
After a few minutes, Annabeth fell into line next to me. โLook, Iโฆโ Her voice faltered. โI appreciate your coming back for us, okay? That was really brave.โ
โWeโre a team, right?โ
She was silent for a few more steps. โItโs just that if you diedโฆaside from the fact that it would really suck for you, it would mean the quest was over. This may be my only chance to see the real world.โ
The thunderstorm had finally let up. The city glow faded behind us, leaving us in almost total darkness. I couldnโt see anything of Annabeth except a glint of her blond hair.
โYou havenโt left Camp Half-Blood since you were seven?โ I asked her. โNoโฆonly short field trips. My dadโโ
โThe history professor.โ
โYeah. It didnโt work out for me living at home. I mean, Camp Half-Bloodย isย my home.โ She was rushing her words out now, as if she were afraid somebody might try to stop her. โAt camp you train and train. And thatโs all cool and everything, but the real world is where the monsters are. Thatโs where you learn whether youโre any good or not.โ
If I didnโt know better, I couldโve sworn I heard doubt in her voice. โYouโre pretty good with that knife,โ I said.
โYou think so?โ
โAnybody who can piggyback-ride a Fury is okay by me.โ I couldnโt really see, but I thought she mightโve smiled.
โYou know,โ she said, โmaybe I should tell youโฆSomething funny back on the busโฆโ
Whatever she wanted to say was interrupted by a shrillย toot-toot-toot, like the sound of an owl being tortured.
โHey, my reed pipes still work!โ Grover cried. โIf I could just remember a โfind pathโ song, we could get out of these woods!โ
He puffed out a few notes, but the tune still sounded suspiciously like Hilary Duff.
Instead of finding a path, I immediately slammed into a tree and got a nice-size knot on my head.
Add to the list of superpowers I didย notย have: infrared vision.
After tripping and cursing and generally feeling miserable for another mile or so, I started to see light up ahead: the colors of a neon sign. I could smell food. Fried, greasy, excellent food. I realized I hadnโt eaten anything unhealthy since Iโd arrived at Half-Blood Hill, where we lived on grapes, bread, cheese, and extra-lean-cut nymph-prepared barbecue. This boy needed a double cheeseburger.
We kept walking until I saw a deserted two-lane road through the trees. On the other side was a closed-down gas station, a tattered billboard for a 1990s movie, and one open business, which was the source of the neon light and the good smell.
It wasnโt a fast-food restaurant like Iโd hoped. It was one of those weird roadside curio shops that sell lawn flamingos and wooden Indians and cement grizzly bears and stuff like that. The main building was a long, low warehouse, surrounded by acres of statuary. The neon sign above the gate was impossible for me to read, because if thereโs anything worse for my dyslexia than regular English, itโs red cursive neon English.
To me, it looked like:ย atnyu mes gderan gomen meprouim. โWhat the heck does that say?โ I asked.
โI donโt know,โ Annabeth said.
She loved reading so much, Iโd forgotten she was dyslexic, too. Grover translated: โAunty Emโs Garden Gnome Emporium.โ
Flanking the entrance, as advertised, were two cement garden gnomes, ugly bearded little runts, smiling and waving, as if they were about to get their picture taken.
I crossed the street, following the smell of the hamburgers. โHeyโฆโ Grover warned.
โThe lights are on inside,โ Annabeth said. โMaybe itโs open.โ โSnack bar,โ I said wistfully.
โSnack bar,โ she agreed.
โAre you two crazy?โ Grover said. โThis place is weird.โ We ignored him.
The front lot was a forest of statues: cement animals, cement children, even a cement satyr playing the pipes, which gave Grover the creeps.
โBlah-ha-ha!โย he bleated. โLooks like my Uncle Ferdinand!โ We stopped at the warehouse door.
โDonโt knock,โ Grover pleaded. โI smell monsters.โ
โYour nose is clogged up from the Furies,โ Annabeth told him. โAll I smell is burgers. Arenโt you hungry?โ
โMeat!โ he said scornfully. โIโm a vegetarian.โ
โYou eat cheese enchiladas and aluminum cans,โ I reminded him. โThose are vegetables. Come on. Letโs leave. These statues areโฆlooking
at me.โ
Then the door creaked open, and standing in front of us was a tall Middle Eastern womanโat least, I assumed she was Middle Eastern, because she wore a long black gown that covered everything but her hands, and her head was completely veiled. Her eyes glinted behind a curtain of black gauze, but that was about all I could make out. Her coffee-colored hands looked old, but well-manicured and elegant, so I imagined she was a grandmother who had once been a beautiful lady.
Her accent sounded vaguely Middle Eastern, too. She said, โChildren, it is too late to be out all alone. Where are your parents?โ
โTheyโreโฆumโฆโ Annabeth started to say. โWeโre orphans,โ I said.
โOrphans?โ the woman said. The word sounded alien in her mouth. โBut, my dears! Surely not!โ
โWe got separated from our caravan,โ I said. โOur circus caravan. The ringmaster told us to meet him at the gas station if we got lost, but he may have forgotten, or maybe he meant a different gas station. Anyway, weโre lost. Is that food I smell?โ
โOh, my dears,โ the woman said. โYou must come in, poor children. I am Aunty Em. Go straight through to the back of the warehouse, please. There is a dining area.โ
We thanked her and went inside.
Annabeth muttered to me, โCircus caravan?โ โAlways have a strategy, right?โ
โYour head is full of kelp.โ
The warehouse was filled with more statuesโpeople in all different poses, wearing all different outfits and with different expressions on their faces. I was thinking youโd have to have a pretty huge garden to fit even one of these statues, because they were all life-size. But mostly, I was thinking about food.
Go ahead, call me an idiot for walking into a strange ladyโs shop like that just because I was hungry, but I do impulsive stuff sometimes. Plus, youโve never smelled Aunty Emโs burgers. The aroma was like laughing gas in the dentistโs chairโit made everything else go away. I barely noticed Groverโs nervous whimpers, or the way the statuesโ eyes seemed to follow me, or the fact that Aunty Em had locked the door behind us.
All I cared about was finding the dining area. And sure enough, there it was at the back of the warehouse, a fast-food counter with a grill, a soda fountain, a pretzel heater, and a nacho cheese dispenser. Everything you could want, plus a few steel picnic tables out front.
โPlease, sit down,โ Aunty Em said. โAwesome,โ I said.
โUm,โ Grover said reluctantly, โwe donโt have any money, maโam.โ
Before I could jab him in the ribs, Aunty Em said, โNo, no, children. No money. This is a special case, yes? It is my treat, for such nice orphans.โ
โThank you, maโam,โ Annabeth said.
Aunty Em stiffened, as if Annabeth had done something wrong, but then the old woman relaxed just as quickly, so I figured it mustโve been my imagination.
โQuite all right, Annabeth,โ she said. โYou have such beautiful gray eyes, child.โ Only later did I wonder how she knew Annabethโs name, even though we had never introduced ourselves.
Our hostess disappeared behind the snack counter and started cooking.
Before we knew it, sheโd brought us plastic trays heaped with double cheeseburgers, vanilla shakes, and XXL servings of French fries.
I was halfway through my burger before I remembered to breathe. Annabeth slurped her shake.
Grover picked at the fries, and eyed the trayโs waxed paper liner as if he might go for that, but he still looked too nervous to eat.
โWhatโs that hissing noise?โ he asked.
I listened, but didnโt hear anything. Annabeth shook her head. โHissing?โ Aunty Em asked. โPerhaps you hear the deep-fryer oil. You
have keen ears, Grover.โ
โI take vitamins. For my ears.โ
โThatโs admirable,โ she said. โBut please, relax.โ
Aunty Em ate nothing. She hadnโt taken off her headdress, even to cook, and now she sat forward and interlaced her fingers and watched us eat. It was a little unsettling, having someone stare at me when I couldnโt see her face, but I was feeling satisfied after the burger, and a little sleepy, and I figured the least I could do was try to make small talk with our hostess.
โSo, you sell gnomes,โ I said, trying to sound interested.
โOh yes,โ Aunty Em said. โAnd animals. And people. Anything for the garden. Custom orders. Statuary is very popular, you know.โ
โA lot of business on this road?โ
โNot so much, no. Since the highway was builtโฆmost cars, they do not go this way now. I must cherish every customer I get.โ
My neck tingled, as if somebody else was looking at me. I turned, but it was just a statue of a young girl holding an Easter basket. The detail was incredible, much better than you see in most garden statues. But something was wrong with her face. It looked as if she were startled, or even terrified.
โAh,โ Aunty Em said sadly. โYou notice some of my creations do not turn out well. They are marred. They do not sell. The face is the hardest to
get right. Always the face.โ
โYou make these statues yourself?โ I asked.
โOh, yes. Once upon a time, I had two sisters to help me in the business, but they have passed on, and Aunty Em is alone. I have only my statues.
This is why I make them, you see. They are my company.โ The sadness in her voice sounded so deep and so real that I couldnโt help feeling sorry for her.
Annabeth had stopped eating. She sat forward and said, โTwo sisters?โ โItโs a terrible story,โ Aunty Em said. โNot one for children, really. You
see, Annabeth, a bad woman was jealous of me, long ago when I was young. I had aโฆa boyfriend, you know, and this bad woman was determined to break us apart. She caused a terrible accident. My sisters stayed by me. They shared my bad fortune as long as they could, but eventually they passed on. They faded away. I alone have survived, but at a price. Such a price.โ
I wasnโt sure what she meant, but I felt bad for her. My eyelids kept getting heavier, my full stomach making me sleepy. Poor old lady. Who would want to hurt somebody so nice?
โPercy?โ Annabeth was shaking me to get my attention. โMaybe we should go. I mean, the ringmaster will be waiting.โ
She sounded tense. I wasnโt sure why. Grover was eating the waxed paper off the tray now, but if Aunty Em found that strange, she didnโt say anything.
โSuch beautiful gray eyes,โ Aunty Em told Annabeth again. โMy, yes, it has been a long time since Iโve seen gray eyes like those.โ
She reached out as if to stroke Annabethโs cheek, but Annabeth stood up abruptly.
โWe really should go.โ
โYes!โ Grover swallowed his waxed paper and stood up. โThe ringmaster is waiting! Right!โ
I didnโt want to leave. I felt full and content. Aunty Em was so nice. I wanted to stay with her a while.
โPlease, dears,โ Aunty Em pleaded. โI so rarely get to be with children.
Before you go, wonโt you at least sit for a pose?โ โA pose?โ Annabeth asked warily.
โA photograph. I will use it to model a new statue set. Children are so popular, you see. Everyone loves children.โ
Annabeth shifted her weight from foot to foot. โI donโt think we can, maโam. Come on, Percyโโ
โSure we can,โ I said. I was irritated with Annabeth for being so bossy, so rude to an old lady whoโd just fed us for free. โItโs just a photo, Annabeth. Whatโs the harm?โ
โYes, Annabeth,โ the woman purred. โNo harm.โ
I could tell Annabeth didnโt like it, but she allowed Aunty Em to lead us back out the front door, into the garden of statues.
Aunty Em directed us to a park bench next to the stone satyr. โNow,โ she said, โIโll just position you correctly. The young girl in the middle, I think, and the two young gentlemen on either side.โ
โNot much light for a photo,โ I remarked.
โOh, enough,โ Aunty Em said. โEnough for us to see each other, yes?โ โWhereโs your camera?โ Grover asked.
Aunty Em stepped back, as if to admire the shot. โNow, the face is the most difficult. Can you smile for me please, everyone? A large smile?โ
Grover glanced at the cement satyr next to him, and mumbled, โThat sure does look like Uncle Ferdinand.โ
โGrover,โ Aunty Em chastised, โlook this way, dear.โ She still had no camera in her hands.
โPercyโโ Annabeth said.
Some instinct warned me to listen to Annabeth, but I was fighting the sleepy feeling, the comfortable lull that came from the food and the old ladyโs voice.
โI will just be a moment,โ Aunty Em said. โYou know, I canโt see you very well in this cursed veilโฆ.โ
โPercy, somethingโs wrong,โ Annabeth insisted.
โWrong?โ Aunty Em said, reaching up to undo the wrap around her head. โNot at all, dear. I have such noble company tonight. What could be wrong?โ
โThatย isย Uncle Ferdinand!โ Grover gasped.
โLook away from her!โ Annabeth shouted. She whipped her Yankees cap onto her head and vanished. Her invisible hands pushed Grover and me both off the bench.
I was on the ground, looking at Aunt Emโs sandaled feet.
I could hear Grover scrambling off in one direction, Annabeth in another.
But I was too dazed to move.
Then I heard a strange, rasping sound above me. My eyes rose to Aunty Emโs hands, which had turned gnarled and warty, with sharp bronze talons for fingernails.
I almost looked higher, but somewhere off to my left Annabeth screamed, โNo! Donโt!โ
More raspingโthe sound of tiny snakes, right above me, fromโฆfrom about where Aunty Emโs head would be.
โRun!โ Grover bleated. I heard him racing across the gravel, yelling
โMaia!โย to kick-start his flying sneakers.
I couldnโt move. I stared at Aunty Emโs gnarled claws, and tried to fight the groggy trance the old woman had put me in.
โSuch a pity to destroy a handsome young face,โ she told me soothingly. โStay with me, Percy. All you have to do is look up.โ
I fought the urge to obey. Instead I looked to one side and saw one of those glass spheres people put in gardensโa gazing ball. I could see Aunty Emโs dark reflection in the orange glass; her headdress was gone, revealing her face as a shimmering pale circle. Her hair was moving, writhing like serpents.
Aunty Em. Aunty โM.โ
How could I have been so stupid?
Think, I told myself. How did Medusa die in the myth?
But I couldnโt think. Something told me that in the myth Medusa had been asleep when she was attacked by my namesake, Perseus. She wasnโt anywhere near asleep now. If she wanted, she could take those talons right now and rake open my face.
โThe Gray-Eyed One did this to me, Percy,โ Medusa said, and she didnโt sound anything like a monster. Her voice invited me to look up, to sympathize with a poor old grandmother. โAnnabethโs mother, the cursed Athena, turned me from a beautiful woman into this.โ
โDonโt listen to her!โ Annabethโs voice shouted, somewhere in the statuary. โRun, Percy!โ
โSilence!โ Medusa snarled. Then her voice modulated back to a comforting purr. โYou see why I must destroy the girl, Percy. She is my enemyโs daughter. I shall crush her statue to dust. But you, dear Percy, you need not suffer.โ
โNo,โ I muttered. I tried to make my legs move.
โDo you really want to help the gods?โ Medusa asked. โDo you understand what awaits you on this foolish quest, Percy? What will happen if you reach the Underworld? Do not be a pawn of the Olympians, my dear. You would be better off as a statue. Less pain. Less pain.โ
โPercy!โ Behind me, I heard a buzzing sound, like a two-hundred-pound hummingbird in a nosedive. Grover yelled, โDuck!โ
I turned, and there he was in the night sky, flying in from twelve oโclock with his winged shoes fluttering, Grover, holding a tree branch the size of a baseball bat. His eyes were shut tight, his head twitched from side to side.
He was navigating by ears and nose alone. โDuck!โ he yelled again. โIโll get her!โ
That finally jolted me into action. Knowing Grover, I was sure heโd miss Medusa and nail me. I dove to one side.
Thwack!
At first, I figured it was the sound of Grover hitting a tree. Then Medusa roared with rage.
โYou miserable satyr,โ she snarled. โIโll add you to my collection!โ โThat was for Uncle Ferdinand!โ Grover yelled back.
I scrambled away and hid in the statuary while Grover swooped down for another pass.
Ker-whack!
โArrgh!โ Medusa yelled, her snake-hair hissing and spitting. Right next to me, Annabethโs voice said, โPercy!โ
I jumped so high my feet nearly cleared a garden gnome. โJeez! Donโt do that!โ
Annabeth took off her Yankees cap and became visible. โYou have to cut her head off.โ
โWhat? Are you crazy? Letโs get out of here.โ
โMedusa is a menace. Sheโs evil. Iโd kill her myself, butโฆโ Annabeth swallowed, as if she were about to make a difficult admission. โBut youโve got the better weapon. Besides, Iโd never get close to her. Sheโd slice me to bits because of my mother. Youโyouโve got a chance.โ
โWhat? I canโtโโ
โLook, do you want her turning more innocent people into statues?โ
She pointed to a pair of statue lovers, a man and a woman with their arms around each other, turned to stone by the monster.
Annabeth grabbed a green gazing ball from a nearby pedestal. โA polished shield would be better.โ She studied the sphere critically. โThe convexity will cause some distortion. The reflectionโs size should be off by a factor ofโโ
โWould you speak English?โ
โIย am!โ She tossed me the glass ball. โJust look at her in the glass.ย Never
look at her directly.โ
โHey, guys!โ Grover yelled somewhere above us. โI think sheโs unconscious!โ
โRoooaaarrr!โ
โMaybe not,โ Grover corrected. He went in for another pass with the tree branch.
โHurry,โ Annabeth told me. โGroverโs got a great nose, but heโll eventually crash.โ
I took out my pen and uncapped it. The bronze blade of Riptide elongated in my hand.
I followed the hissing and spitting sounds of Medusaโs hair.
I kept my eyes locked on the gazing ball so I would only glimpse Medusaโs reflection, not the real thing. Then, in the green tinted glass, I saw
her.
Grover was coming in for another turn at bat, but this time he flew a little too low. Medusa grabbed the stick and pulled him off course. He tumbled through the air and crashed into the arms of a stone grizzly bear with a painful โUmmphh!โ
Medusa was about to lunge at him when I yelled, โHey!โ
I advanced on her, which wasnโt easy, holding a sword and a glass ball. If she charged, Iโd have a hard time defending myself.
But then she let me approachโtwenty feet, ten feet.
I could see the reflection of her face now. Surely it wasnโt reallyย thatย ugly. The green swirls of the gazing ball must be distorting it, making it look worse.
โYou wouldnโt harm an old woman, Percy,โ she crooned. โI know you wouldnโt.โ
I hesitated, fascinated by the face I saw reflected in the glassโthe eyes that seemed to burn straight through the green tint, making my arms go weak.
From the cement grizzly, Grover moaned, โPercy, donโt listen to her!โ Medusa cackled. โToo late.โ
She lunged at me with her talons.
I slashed up with my sword, heard a sickeningย shlock!, then a hiss like wind rushing out of a cavernโthe sound of a monster disintegrating.
Something fell to the ground next to my foot. It took all my willpower not to look. I could feel warm ooze soaking into my sock, little dying snake heads tugging at my shoelaces.
โOh, yuck,โ Grover said. His eyes were still tightly closed, but I guess he could hear the thing gurgling and streaming. โMega-yuck.โ
Annabeth came up next to me, her eyes fixed on the sky. She was holding Medusaโs black veil. She said, โDonโt move.โ
Very, very carefully, without looking down, she knelt and draped the monsterโs head in black cloth, then picked it up. It was still dripping green juice.
โAre you okay?โ she asked me, her voice trembling. โYeah,โ I decided, though I felt like throwing up my double
cheeseburger. โWhy didnโtโฆwhy didnโt the head evaporate?โ
โOnce you sever it, it becomes a spoil of war,โ she said. โSame as your minotaur horn. But donโt unwrap the head. It can still petrify you.โ
Grover moaned as he climbed down from the grizzly statue. He had a big welt on his forehead. His green rasta cap hung from one of his little goat horns, and his fake feet had been knocked off his hooves. The magic sneakers were flying aimlessly around his head.
โThe Red Baron,โ I said. โGood job, man.โ
He managed a bashful grin. โThat really wasย notย fun, though. Well, the hitting-her-with-a-stick part, that was fun. But crashing into a concrete bear?ย Notย fun.โ
He snatched his shoes out of the air. I recapped my sword. Together, the three of us stumbled back to the warehouse.
We found some old plastic grocery bags behind the snack counter and double-wrapped Medusaโs head. We plopped it on the table where weโd eaten dinner and sat around it, too exhausted to speak.
Finally I said, โSo we have Athena to thank for this monster?โ
Annabeth flashed me an irritated look. โYour dad, actually. Donโt you remember? Medusa was Poseidonโs girlfriend. They decided to meet in my motherโs temple. Thatโs why Athena turned her into a monster. Medusa and her two sisters who had helped her get into the temple, they became the three gorgons. Thatโs why Medusa wanted to slice me up, but she wanted to
preserve you as a nice statue. Sheโs still sweet on your dad. You probably reminded her of him.โ
My face was burning. โOh, so now itโsย myย fault we met Medusa.โ
Annabeth straightened. In a bad imitation of my voice, she said: โโItโs just a photo, Annabeth. Whatโs the harm?โโ
โForget it,โ I said. โYouโre impossible.โ โYouโre insufferable.โ
โYouโreโโ
โHey!โ Grover interrupted. โYou two are giving me a migraine, and satyrs donโt evenย getย migraines. What are we going to do with the head?โ
I stared at the thing. One little snake was hanging out of a hole in the plastic. The words printed on the side of the bag said:ย WE APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS!
I was angry, not just with Annabeth or her mom, but with all the gods for this whole quest, for getting us blown off the road and in two major fights the very first day out from camp. At this rate, weโd never make it to L.A. alive, much less before the summer solstice.
What had Medusa said?
Do not be a pawn of the Olympians, my dear. You would be better off as a statue.
I got up. โIโll be back.โ
โPercy,โ Annabeth called after me. โWhat are youโโ
I searched the back of the warehouse until I found Medusaโs office. Her account book showed her six most recent sales, all shipments to the Underworld to decorate Hades and Persephoneโs garden. According to one freight bill, the Underworldโs billing address was DOA Recording Studios, West Hollywood, California. I folded up the bill and stuffed it in my pocket.
In the cash register I found twenty dollars, a few golden drachmas, and some packing slips for Hermes Overnight Express, each with a little leather bag attached for coins. I rummaged around the rest of the office until I found the right-size box.
I went back to the picnic table, packed up Medusaโs head, and filled out a delivery slip:
The Gods Mount Olympus 600th Floor,
Empire State Building
New York, NY
With best wishes, PERCY JACKSON
โTheyโre not going to like that,โ Grover warned. โTheyโll think youโre impertinent.โ
I poured some golden drachmas in the pouch. As soon as I closed it, there was a sound like a cash register. The package floated off the table and disappeared with aย pop!
โIย amย impertinent,โ I said.
I looked at Annabeth, daring her to criticize.
She didnโt. She seemed resigned to the fact that I had a major talent for ticking off the gods. โCome on,โ she muttered. โWe need a new plan.โ