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Day 1
ucker started plying me with wine at the airport bar. In the air, he doesnโt let a flight attendant walk by without asking for another glass of champagne to
shove in my hand. Not that Iโm complaining. I admit leaving Jamie was more difficult than I imagined, but heโs right: sheโs in good hands with Gail. And if anything goes wrong, itโs a short flight home. Weโll survive.
โI saw you staring at her shoes, Harold.โ
โI swear to God, Marcia, I have never noticed a womanโs shoes.โ
โDonโt patronize me. I know what youโre into, you pervert.โ
The middle-aged couple in front of us in first class, however, might not last the flight.
โIโm Team Marcia,โ Tucker leans in to whisper at my ear. โHeโs up to some shady foot stuff.โ
โNo way. This is her kink, not his. She likes to start public fights with him to keep the spark alive.โ
Theyโve been at it since they sat down. Arguing about sugar packets and the in-flight entertainment system. Marcia scolding Harold for asking for a gin and tonic.
Harold making loud, animated gagging sounds at her overwhelming perfume that he swears she bought just to aggravate his allergies and kill him.
Iโm so glad Tuck and I donโt fight like that. Hell, we donโt fight at all, although my friends have differing opinions on that. Carin thinks itโs a good thing, that it means our relationship is a cut above the rest. Hope, meanwhile, insists itโs not normal for couples not to fight. But, really, what can I do about it? Tucker is the most chill man on the planet. I can count on one hand the number of times Iโve seen him lose his temper.
โA big round booty,โ Harold says proudly. A flight attendantโs head snaps up from making coffee in the galley to stare at him, alarmed. โThatโs what I like and you know it. If Iโm looking at another woman, itโs not her shoes, Marcia.โ
โAre you saying my butt isnโt big enough for you? Are you calling me skinny?โ
โWould you prefer I called you fat?โ
She snarls like a feral cat. โYou think Iโm fat?โ Tuck leans closer again. โWomen, amiright?โ
I press my face against his shoulder to smother a laugh. Iโm not sure I can survive four more hours of the Harold and Marcia show. Might need some more champagne.
As I glance toward the galley, hoping to catch the attendantโs eye, I catch a whiff of smoke. It sneaks up on me in the wake of the man in 3E lumbering down the aisle. I saw him chain-smoking at the curbside check-in when we dropped off our luggage, and either the guy has the runs or heโs sucking on a vape every five minutes in the lavatory.
โIf we get turned around because of that guy, Iโll be pissed,โ I mutter to Tucker.
โDonโt worry, I think the flight crew is on to him.โ He nods toward the two attendants in the galley doorway, who are whispering to each other while pointedly looking at 3E.
When the male attendant notices us watching, he glides over and offers that plastic service-industry smile. โMore champagne for the newlyweds?โ
โPlease,โ I say gratefully. โComing right up.โ
Just as heโs moving away, Haroldโs beefy arm thrusts out to stop him. โAnother gin and tonic, please.โ
โDonโt you dare,โ Marcia warns. โPeter and Trixie-Bell are picking us up when we land in St. Maarten.โ
โSo?โ
โSo you canโt be drunk the first time you meet our sonโs fiancรฉe!โ
โSheโs a damned stripper, Marcia. Her name is Trixie- Bell! With a hyphen! You think I care about impressing the exotic dancer our stupid idiot boy met two weeks ago at a Caribbean dance club and got it in his fool head to marry?โ
Itโs Tuckerโs turn to bury his face against my shoulder, trembling with silent laughter. The poor flight attendant stands in the aisle like a deer frozen in a hunterโs sights, unsure what to do about the gin and tonic.
โSir?โ he prompts.
โGin and tonic,โ Harold says stubbornly.
Except his impassioned speech about their idiot son mustโve gotten to Marcia, because she raises a hand laden with gold costume jewelry and mutters, โMake that two, please.โ
Wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, my husband looks over. โWanna buddy watch a movie?โ He gestures to our respective screens, open to the in-flight menu.
โSure. Give me a sec, though. Just want to log in to the Wi-Fi and see if your mom messaged.โ
I pull my phone out of the purse at my feet and follow the browser connection instructions. Once the Wi-Fi kicks in, my screen fills up with emails.
โYour inbox is blowing up,โ Tucker teases.
I scroll through the notifications, but thereโs nothing from Gail. โYeah. HR at Billings, Bower, and Holt keeps sending stuff.โ I scroll further. โUgh. Fischer and Associates emailed too.โ
โWhen do you have to give them an answer?โ โWhen we get back.โ
โAre you leaning more one way or the other?โ โI donโt know,โ I sigh.
โWould you stop fiddling with the screen!โ Marcia is chastising her husband again.
โBut the movie isnโt loading,โ grumbles Harold. โI want to watch theย Avengers, goddammit.โ
โIt wonโt load if you keep pressing all the buttons!โ She huffs. โLook what youโve done. Now itโs frozen.โ
โWhy donโt you mind your damned business and focus on your own screen, woman.โ
Luckily, our champagne arrives. I take a much-needed sip as I mull over the options for the thousandth time. After graduation, I got a job offer from the number two law firm in Boston. A dream job, as far as a foot in the door goes. It was a no-brainer that Iโd take it, until I got a call from a small civil defense firm that now has me considering how my priorities have shifted the last few years.
โWhatโs the difference, practically speaking?โ Tucker asks.
โThe big firm is right in my wheelhouse. Criminal defense. Major corporate clients. Itโs where the big money is,โ I tell him. โThe cases Iโd be handling would definitely be challenging. Stimulating.โ
He nods slowly. โOkay. And Fischer?โ
โPrimarily civil defense. Not sexy stuff, but itโs an old legacy firm. Theyโve been in the city for like a hundred years or something. The pay is competitive, which probably means old-money clients.โ
โThose options donโt suck.โ
โIf I take the first one, weโre talking eighty hours a week. Minimum. On call day and night. Fighting for a rung on the ladder with a hundred other junior associates.โ
โYeah, but you like throwing elbows,โ Tucker reminds me with a crooked grin.
โIf I took the second, I could be home more with you and Jamie.โ
Throughout law school, I was convinced I wouldnโt be fulfilled unless I landed my dream gig. Fighting tough cases tooth and nail, battling in the trenches. Since graduation, though, being home all day with Jamie has changed my attitude. Itโs got me worrying about the sustainability of balancing work and family long-term.
Tucker, as usual, offers himself up as my rock. My one- man support system. โDonโt worry about us,โ he tells me, his voice roughening. โYouโve worked your whole life to get to this moment, darlinโ. Donโt give up on your dream.โ
I study his expression. โAre you sure youโd be okay if I took the job with more hours? Be honest.โ
โIโm good no matter what you decide.โ
I see nothing but sincerity on his face, but one can never truly know with Tucker. Heโs not great at telling me when somethingโs bothering him, on the rare occasions he gets bothered.
He reaches for my hand, his callused fingertips sweeping over my knuckles. โI can pitch in and do more around the house. Jamie will be fine. Whatever you decide, weโll make it work.โ
Coming from a broken home in Southie and getting knocked up in college, I could have done a lot worse than to end up with Tucker. At even half capacity, heโd be a great guy, but this big, beautiful man goes and decides to be exceptional anyway.
I canโt wait to spend ten days on an island with him all to myself. Sometimes I really miss the early days of our relationship. Before our little monster arrived, and I spent
every waking second either in class or bent over a textbook. When we used to have sex in his truck, or when heโd come over after I got off work, push me up against the wall and hike up my skirt. Those moments where nothing else mattered except the overwhelming need to touch each other. Itโs still there, that need. Other stuff just gets in the way. Part of me isnโt sure I even remember how to be spontaneous.
Then Tucker drapes his hand over my knee, dragging his fingers back and forth, and I start eyeing that lighted restroom sign.
I must doze off at some point, because about halfway through the flight Iโm jolted awake by some brief turbulence and the raised voices of Marcia and Harold.
โSheโs knocked up, mark my words.โ โHarold! Peter said she wasnโt.โ
โThat boy is a pathological liar, Marcia.โ โOur son wouldnโt lie about this.โ
โAll right then, letโs bet on it. If Trixie-Bell doesnโt have a bun in the oven, I wonโt touch a drop of alcohol at this farce of a wedding.โ
โHa! As if!โ
โBut if sheย isย preggoโฆโ He thinks it over. โI get to dump that entire vial of your god-awful perfume in the ocean.โ
โBut it cost three hundred dollars!โ
Iโm loving this wager. My mind is already trying to figure out how we could learn the outcome. Is there some registry of weddings in St. Maarten? Maybe we can take a private boat over from St. Barthโs and crash Peter and Trixie-Bellโs ceremony.
I glance over at Tucker to ask if he has any ideas, but heโs busy looking around, scanning the aircraft.
โEverything okay?โ I ask uneasily. โYou smell that?โ
โOh. Yeah. Itโs the chain-smoker in 3E.โ
โI donโt think thatโs cigarette smoke,โ he says in a hushed voice, peering out the window.
A frown creases his brow. Heโs sporting that look he used to get after five straight hours of watching aviation disaster documentaries on TV at four in the morning between Jamieโs feedings.
The same two flight attendants casually float up and down the aisle with their professional smiles, but now thereโs a deliberateness to their movements that becomes disconcerting as I watch them. Almost imperceptibly, the plane begins a gradual descent.
โAre we descending?โ I hiss at him. โI think so.โ
And the odor of smoke is worsening. I swear thereโs a slight haze to the air, and Iโm not the only one to notice. A murmur ripples through the first-class cabin.
โHarold, honey, do you smell that?โ I hear a panicky Marcia blurt out.
โYeah, sweetheart. I do.โ
Oh no. If the smoke is bad enough to bring terms of endearment out of those two, then things are grim.
My stomach twists as the plane continues to shed its altitude. โTuck,โ I fret.
He plasters his face to the window again, then reaches for my hand. โI see runway lights,โ he says as reassurance that we arenโt about to crash in the middle of field or something.
โFolks, this is your captain speaking,โ a monotone voice says over the intercom. โAs Iโm sure youโve noticed by now, we are indeed descending. Air traffic control has given us clearance to land at Jacksonville International Airport. Weโve rerouted and will be making an emergency landing shortly due to a mechanical malfunction. Please return to your seats and fasten your seat belts. Flight attendants, please prepare the cabin for landing.โ
The PA switches off.
I grip Tuckerโs hand and try to tamp down my rising panic. โThis is really happening.โ
โWeโre fine. No big deal. Pilots make emergency landings all the time.โ Iโm not sure if Tucker says that for my benefit or his.
The crew carry on about their business with the same artificial smiles, politely gathering up trash and shooing stragglers to put up their tray tables. These sociopaths are determined to keep up the charade even if we splatter into flames and twisted metal.
In front of us, Marcia and Harold embrace each other, their prior ails forgotten as they profess their love.
โI love you, Harold. Iโm sorry I called you a pervert.โ โOh, sweetheart, never apologize to me ever again about
anything.โ
โIs it too late to change the beneficiary of our will? What if we wrote something down on this napkin? I donโt want that Trixie-Bell inheriting our vacation condo in Galveston!โ
I turn to Tuck in horror. โOh my God. We donโt have a will.โ
Our pilotโs voice crackles on the intercom again. โPassengers and crew, please get in brace position.โ
Tucker puts his hand over mine as we both grip our armrests and brace for impact.