IT FELT MORE surreal the closer I got to Harmony Island. It amazed me how much I remembered about the small towns that led up to Harmony and how much things had changed. For a moment, a glimmer of hope swelled in my stomach as I thought that, perhaps, my hometown had changed as well.
But I shot that thought out of my head as soon as it entered. I was just there six months ago. From what I saw when I was out and about, Harmony Island was slowly being dragged into the future kicking and screaming.
I stopped for gas in Powta, a small town with only one stop sign. I didn’t want to risk needing gas in Harmony because I had no clue who I was going to run into there. In small towns, every store is a mini meet-up. You never know who you are going to see or what they will want to talk to you about once they corner you.
Getting right to the motel was the most important thing for me right now.
I leaned against Rhonda, my beat-up Corolla, and watched the numbers tick up. I tried not to think about the numbers ticking down in my bank account at the same time. I had no idea how long my account was going to stay positive. Since I didn’t know how long I’d be staying here in Harmony, it would behoove me to keep my expenses low.
Just as the pump clicked off, my phone rang. I slipped it out of my pocket and held it between my shoulder and cheek as I pulled the nozzle from my gas tank.
“Hello?”
“Miss Sorenson?”
“Yeah.”
“This is Bob at the Harmony Motel.”
I nodded and murmured a, “mmhmm,” as I waited for my receipt to be printed.
“Well, I have some bad news.”
I stopped, my hand on my gas receipt, my brain clearing, and my focus snapping to attention. “What news?”
He cleared his throat. “We’ve had some plumbing issues. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to stay here. Half of our rooms are flooded—”
“And the other half?” My heart was pounding so hard, I could hear it in my ears.
He cleared his throat again. “I’m so sorry that this might inconvenience your trip, but it’s just not possible for you to stay here.”
“No, no. That’s not going to work for me. I need to stay there.”
“I have the numbers for the local inn and the B&B that have said they have space,” he continued like he didn’t hear the panic in my voice.
I sighed. I knew the other places in town. I just couldn’t go there. “That’s okay,” I murmured as I shoved the receipt into my wallet. I don’t know why I took it. They just ended up littering my purse and then my kitchen counter. That decision was a part of the string of wrong decisions I seemed to be making lately. I slipped my phone from my shoulder and gripped it to my cheek, forcing myself to focus. “I’ll figure something out.”
“I’m truly sorry.”
“Not as much as I am,” I mumbled before thanking him and hanging up.
I sat in my car, the cool air blasting from the vents and blowing across my skin. My thoughts were rolling around in my mind, and I couldn’t settle any of them.
I couldn’t stay at the inn, and I certainly couldn’t face Missy.
I cursed under my breath as I rested my forehead on my hands gripping the steering wheel. Why did I come here? I should have just told Miles no and hung up.
If I were in New York, I could find a job to tide me over until I could start my own business and try to dig myself out of the mess that was my life. Just as I was beginning to spiral, my phone went off again. I startled and sat up. Somehow, it had fallen between my seat and the center console. I had to shove my hand in hard, but I was finally able to fish it out.
If it was Bob, there was no way I was going to miss his call.
“Yes, I’m here. Hello?” I asked as I pushed my hair behind my ear and settled back in my chair. I held the phone to my cheek as I waited for Bob’s gravelly voice to tell me that everything was fine with my reservation and he couldn’t wait to see me.
“Shelby?”
My heart sank. Miles. I sighed, my shoulders slouching and the stinging on my hand becoming more pronounced. I stretched it out in front of me and saw the back of my hand was bright pink. “Yeah,” I murmured.
“I’m guessing you heard about the motel.” “You heard?”
Miles paused. “Well, yeah. Bob called to let me know that he was sending his guests to the inn.”
“And you assumed that I was staying there.” “Well…”
I closed my eyes and tipped my head back. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do,” I whispered. I hadn’t meant for him to hear it—or how defeated I sounded—but it was out there now, and he was no doubt chewing on it.
“Shelby, listen, I know it’s hard for you to stay here. But there’s a small cottage just a few hundred feet from the inn. You can stay there.” His voice dropped. “No memories there.”
I swallowed, and the lump in my throat hurt. I hated that I was so weak about this. That any mention of my past, even one so broad, brought tears.
I just wanted to be stronger.
“What do you think?” he finally asked, breaking the thick silence between us.
My mind had wandered, and his words pulled me back. “About what?” “The cottage. You could stay there as long as you want. No payment
necessary.”
I chewed on my lip as I squinted out at the setting sun. I wanted to say no. I knew I should. After all, going back to the inn went against the rules I’d mentally set for myself on the drive down. But I had no other choice. Besides, I was already making poor decisions, what was one more?
“I guess.” Silence.
Worried that I’d lost the connection, I pulled my phone from my cheek and glanced down at the screen. The time was still ticking up, indicating
that I’d been talking to Miles for over three minutes now.
“Miles?” I asked when I brought the phone back to my ear.
“Yeah, sorry. I guess I just…” He sighed. “I figured you were going to fight me harder about this.”
I fiddled with my steering wheel, dragging my hand across the smooth material. “I’m a big girl, Miles. I’m not the same scared child you used to hide in the closet with.”
I closed my eyes as my words echoed in my mind. Memories of my mother flying through the house in a fit of drunken rage. Miles grabbing my hand and pulling me into the darkest corner of my closet and burying us both in the laundry on the floor.
When our parents were married, he did a lot for me. That was before Clint. Before the baby. He was responsible for that night. For Clint walking out on me. He may have protected me when we were kids, but my heart was broken because of what he did. And I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive him for that.
Miles cleared his throat. “I know you’re not a kid anymore, Shelby.”
“Good,” I hurried to say. I was ready to move on. The past was just that: the past. There was no use digging things back up that were good and buried. “I’m about twenty minutes away. I’ll see you at the cottage.”
I didn’t wait for Miles to say anything. Instead, I hung up and tucked my phone into my purse. After taking a few minutes to do some deep breathing, I started the car and pulled away from the gas pump.
It wasn’t long before I took a right down Main Street and headed into downtown Harmony Island. I kept my focus on the road because I’d made memories on each corner of this town.
When I’d been here for Gran’s funeral, I’d spent most of the time in my hotel room, drowning myself in work. Now, I had nothing to distract myself with, and that thought caused my chest to feel as if it were collapsing. Breathing was a chore.
Luckily, I made it through town and started down the main drag to the inn without completely panicking and turning around. Soon, the only things that whipped by me were tall trees.
There was something completely calming about driving through the outskirts of Harmony. We were getting closer to the ocean, and even though my air conditioning was on full blast, I could feel the stickiness of the salty air as it surrounded me.
It was so familiar, and despite my efforts, tiny flashes of memory were racing through my mind like a mini movie reel. There were a few good memories of Mom. There were the times Miles and I would run down the beach with sand squishing between our toes. There were even a few high school beach parties that I went to that didn’t end in the cops busting us up or Clint passing out in my back seat while Miles and I drove him home.
My childhood wasn’t just full of pain, even though that’s what rose to the surface when I allowed my thoughts to wander.
I let out my breath as I turned down Whipporwillow Lane and Harmony Island Inn loomed in the distance. Pain clung to my chest as I methodically took in each breath. I could do this. I could.
I was stronger than I’d allowed myself to believe.
The wraparound driveway led up to the large porch and front door. I chewed my lip as I dropped my gaze and searched the land for the cottage that Miles had mentioned. It didn’t take me long to spot it.
I focused my attention on the small, red-sided building and veered off the driveway and down a small paved road.
The cottage was tucked in among the trees that surrounded Gran’s property. Even though the yard was full of plants, the grass was cut and the bushes were trimmed. I pulled onto the small slab of concrete on the side of the house and stopped the engine.
I sat for a moment and allowed the darkness that surrounded me to soothe my soul. The sun had dipped well below the trees, the only remaining rays peeking through the tree trunks and spilling soft stripes along the hood of my car.
Not wanting Miles to find me like this, staring at nothing, I pulled the keys from the ignition and dropped them into my purse before I shouldered the strap and pulled on the driver’s door.
The hum of crickets and the trill of frogs greeted me. I slammed the car door and slowly turned around.
I was back.
I swallowed as a lump formed in my throat. I doubted I would ever feel strong here.
The sound of an engine drew my attention over. I didn’t have to see his face to know that it was Miles heading to the cottage on a four-wheeler. He bounced a few times as he rode across the yard, and when he saw me
staring, he nodded before stopping a few feet in front of me and killing the engine.
After swinging his leg off the seat, he straightened. “Hey,” he said.
I nodded, not sure how my voice would sound if I spoke. I wanted to maintain a certain level of dignity on my first night back.
“Hey,” was all that came out.
Miles pushed his hand through his hair as his gaze drifted around for a moment before he focused back on me. “How was the drive?”
I shrugged as I gripped the shoulder strap of my purse. “Long. But I managed.”
He stared at the ground. “That’s good. I’m glad you made it safely.” He tipped his face toward the sky as he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “I was worried about you.”
His words were almost a whisper, and I wondered if I’d heard him right. When he returned his attention to me, he let out his breath and motioned toward the cottage. “I can show you inside.”
I nodded and followed after him.
We paused at the front door as Miles unlocked it. I tried not to notice that he stiffened when I neared. We had such a strange relationship, and I wasn’t ready to unpack what any of his mannerisms meant. I just wanted to get settled in the cottage and go to sleep.
I was exhausted.
He pushed into the living room, thankfully giving me some space. He walked me through the small kitchen that led to the only bedroom and a small bathroom off the back. I followed after him, making sure to maintain my distance as he told me where everything was.
When we got back into the kitchen, he pulled open the fridge. “I brought you some food from the inn,” he said, waving toward the inside.
I dipped down, taking note of the milk, yogurt, and fruit that I could see. “Thanks,” I whispered.
“There’s breakfast in the dining room every morning.” He nodded in the direction of the inn. “I don’t mean to brag, but I can make a mean quiche.” He smiled before dropping it.
“That’s nice,” I said as I set my purse down on the counter. “After the disasters we used to come up with as kids…” I let out a soft laugh before it faded when I turned my gaze to Miles.
His lips were tipped up into a smile, but when he saw me notice, it disappeared. “Yeah. I’ve definitely learned a thing or two since you left.”
I pinched my lips together. The last three words cutting deeper than I’d anticipated. Since you left. I swallowed hard and forced myself back to reality as I nodded. “I bet.”
Silence fell between us. The awkwardness seemed to seep into my soul. The sad truth of it all was, there was no way we were ever going to go back to normal. Miles and I were destined to live our life in a strange sort of hellish limbo.
And I was not looking forward to it.
A scratchy noise filled the air. I looked around, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Miles unhook what looked like a baby monitor from his back pocket and stare down at it. I furrowed my brow.
“I should get back,” he said, tucking the monitor away and turning to face me. “You have my number. Call me if you need anything.”
Before I could ask him why he was carrying a baby monitor, he gave me a quick nod and pulled open the front door. Then he was gone. The silence of the cottage filled my ears as a I took in a deep breath.
I was in no way ready to be here. But it didn’t matter. I was on Harmony Island. I was staying mere feet from the inn that almost broke me.
I was going to have to face my past.
