I SPENT the day avoiding any long conversations with Miles. After I snuck back to the cottage, I showered, dressed, and wasted time on social media until Miles texted me to see if I could watch Belle for a few hours, so he could get rooms ready for guests.
I agreed, asking if she could come over here instead of me watching her at the inn. When he brought her over, I quickly took her from his arms and hurried into the cottage before he could say anything. We played on the living room floor until she got cranky, and then I made her some food before taking her outside for a small picnic.
She was snoozing on the couch when Miles came to pick her up late in the afternoon. His eyebrows rose when he saw her. I was on the couch with my arm slung across the back, listening to some soft music. My heart pounded as I took him in. His hair was damp, and for a stupid split second, I wondered what it would feel like to run my fingers through it.
Hating that I couldn’t stop thinking about Miles like that, I shook my head and gave him a weak smile.
“She’s worn out,” I said as I carefully got up so that I didn’t disturb her. “Clearly.”
Worry flowed through me. “Was I not supposed to let her sleep?” I stepped toward Belle, but a hand stopped me. Somehow, Miles had closed the distance between us and wrapped his hand around my elbow.
“It’s okay. If she needs to sleep, let her sleep.” His voice was deep, and it sent ripples of pleasure through my body.
I expected him to let me go, but he didn’t. Instead, we just stood in the living room, standing inches from each other, neither of us knowing what to do.
“Miles…” I whispered. I had no idea what I was going to say after that, but I needed to do something to break the tension that coated the room.
He pulled his hand away and took a step back. “I don’t think she noticed.”
Confused, I turned to look at him. “What?”
He waved toward the inn before he shrugged. “Miss Porter. I don’t think she knows you were in my…bedroom this morning. I suspect if she knew, she would have said something to me about it. You’re in the clear.”
I parted my lips but only responded with a nod.
“So, you don’t have to worry about the whole town wondering if we are…” He swallowed, and his pause caused me to look over at him. “Dating.”
“That’s good.” My gaze made its way to his. His blue eyes were stormy as he stared at me. I could tell that he felt as confused as I did. “I’m going out with Abigail tonight, so I won’t be around.”
“Abigail?”
“She runs the bookstore-slash-cafe.”
Recognition passed over his face as he nodded. “Right. Oh, Ralph dropped off your car. It’s parked in the inn’s parking lot. He texted me at noon. Apparently, I was wrong. It wasn’t the oil. He was able to save it.”
I clapped my hands. “Perfect.”
Silence fell between us once more. Miles had his gaze trained on the ground before he looked up at me. I knew he wanted to say something. So much had transpired between us, and I wasn’t sure what any of it meant—or if I was in a place to try to analyze any of it.
I wrapped my arms around my chest and offered him a small smile.
He seemed to understand that I was ready to be alone, because he didn’t wait before he crossed the room and scooped up Belle. She let out a small moan and started to pull her head off his shoulder. He shushed her and brought his hand up to cradle her head.
She wiggled, and he gave me a weak smile as he started heading to the front door. “I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he said over his shoulder.
I hurried to open the door, bringing myself inches from him. “Yeah,” I said as I turned the handle and pulled.
He paused. “Just do me a favor.” “Sure.”
He was staring at me now. “Just don’t drink too much. And don’t…”
I stood there, waiting for the rest of his words, but they didn’t come.
When I glanced up at him, I could see the turmoil in his gaze. “Don’t?”
He blinked and then shook his head. “Never mind. Just enjoy yourself.” “Okay.”
He stepped out onto the porch and didn’t look back as he crossed the yard and disappeared into the inn. I hadn’t meant to watch him the entire time, but there was a pathetic part of me that wished he would turn around and look at me. That he would finish his sentence, telling me that he didn’t want me to go.
I was starting to realize that I had feelings for Miles. Deep, rooted feelings that I feared I would never get over if I was reading him wrong. I’d never imagined that I would want something with Miles—after all, I’d spent most of my life either thinking of him as a friend or hating him. But something had changed.
If I didn’t find out how he felt, I was going to explode.
I spent the rest of the evening blaring music as I got ready. Abigail had texted to meet her at the pub at eight. At seven thirty, I slipped on my wedges and hurried out of the cottage. I was wearing a dark-blue dress that clung to my curves in all the right places.
I wasn’t really going to the pub with the intention of picking anyone up. I just wanted to make sure if I ran into anyone from high school, I’d see appreciation in their gaze instead of pity.
Miles was outside on the deck when I rounded the inn in search of my car. I couldn’t help but meet his gaze. His expression was hard to read as he stood there with his arms folded across his chest. I knew he was watching me and that thought burned my cheeks.
He watched as I unlocked my car and climbed inside. I tried not to sneak a peek at him from my rearview mirror, but my gaze slipped to it a few times as I drove away from the inn. And he was standing there, the entire time.
Once I couldn’t see the inn anymore, I let out the breath I’d been holding and focused on the road. I was going to go insane if I kept obsessing about him. I pushed all the confusing thoughts from my mind as I headed toward Harmony Pub on the other side of town.
Dusk had settled around me as I pulled into one of the few remaining parking spots. I was climbing out of my car when I got a text from Abigail. I shut my door and glanced around to see her walking toward me.
She looked as confused as I felt, but when our gazes met, we both smiled.
As she neared, she wrapped me up in a hug. “You look amazing,” she said as she stepped back.
“You too.” She was wearing a white crop top and ripped shorts.
She linked arms with me. “You have no idea how much I needed this.
Thanks for asking me out on a girls night.”
I nodded as we started walking toward the pub. “I need this too.”
She glanced over at me. “You do? What’s going on?” Then she dropped her voice. “Miles?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to think tonight; I just wanted to dance and breathe.”
Abigail nodded. “Me too.”
The music in the pub was so loud, but I loved it. I could feel the reverberations in my chest. Abigail and I snagged a table as a couple was leaving. I slid onto a chair, and Abigail said she was heading to the bar. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to drink. After all, every bad mistake I’d made involved alcohol, and the last thing I needed was to make another.
Abigail gave me a confused look but then shrugged and headed to the bar to order. I sat on the chair, drumming my fingers to the beat of the music, when suddenly, Laura was standing in front of me with the widest grin.
I almost didn’t recognize her. Her cheeks were pink, and her hair was teased when she grabbed my arm.
“I can’t thank you enough,” she yelled to be heard over the music. “What?” I leaned forward.
“Thank you.”
I furrowed my brow. “For what?”
“For making Miles go out with me.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “We had a killer time.”
My stomach sank like a rock in my gut. “You did?”
She nodded, which sent her into a fit of giggles. “I’m pretty sure he’s going to call me back.” Then she leaned closer. “If you know what I mean.”
Her face contorted for a moment. “We had sex,” she said so loud that the table next to us turned to look.
Even though the music was so loud it hurt my ears, I couldn’t hear a thing. Not after what she just said to me. “What?”
She giggled once more and then half walked, half staggered away.
I sat there completely numb. Miles had slept with her and then come home and touched me? I shivered. My mouth felt dry and my head swam as I stared at the table in front of me like it held the answers I was seeking.
Why would he do that? I knew Miles. I knew he wasn’t that kind of guy.
At least, I thought I knew him.
“What’s wrong?” Abigail asked when she got back to the table, holding a pint.
I slid off the chair and stood. “I’m getting a drink,” I said as I shouldered my purse.
Five shots later, I was a mess. I was lying on the table, my stomach aching. No amount of alcohol was going to make me feel better. Abigail seemed just as miserable as I was. She was pushing some salt around on the table.
We looked like a pathetic party.
“I’m going to dance with someone.” I pushed myself up and scanned the room. I didn’t care who it was. As long as they distracted me from my thoughts and Miles, they were good enough. I zeroed in on an exotic looking man who had one elbow on the bar and was surveying the room.
He looked good enough.
When I got close, I grabbed his hand and yelled, “Dance with me.” “Ooh, I like a forceful girl. Name’s Parker. What’s yours?”
I shook my head. I didn’t want small talk. I wanted Miles out of my head. “Just dance.”
He didn’t need any convincing. As soon as we were on the dance floor, his hands were on my waist. I wanted to dance away my feelings for Miles, but every time Parker touched me, I looked back hoping it was Miles, but only finding Parker’s dark eyes and wide smile.
This wasn’t fixing my broken heart.
“I’m tired,” I yelled after the fourth song.
Parker nodded and kept his hand on my hip as I made my way back to the table. I was so numb and broken, that I didn’t care that he kept touching
me. There was a part of me that hoped I’d enjoy his attention enough to forget Miles for one night.
But then Laura passed by my table, and suddenly I needed to text Miles. I needed him to know that I was desired by other men the same way I desired him.
“Who are you calling, baby?” Parker asked as he nuzzled my neck. I shrugged him off. “I need to text Miles.”
“Who’s Miles?”
“It’s her ex-stepbrother,” Abigail yelled. She was sitting at the table, staring at her phone, as well.
“Yeah,” I said as I opened my text messages and found Miles’s name.
Me: Men want me, you know.
I hit send and set my phone down, screen up, in front of me.
The seconds that ticked by felt like hours. My heart pounded when my screen lit up.
Miles: Are you drunk?
I scoffed. Was he judging me?
Me: No.
And then I realized that he wasn’t going to buy that.
Me: Maybe.
I set my phone back down, hoping my response came across as mysterious instead of neurotic like I feared it might. But the alcohol mixed with the music had my head pounding.
Miles: Where are you?
“Ha,” I said as I picked up my phone. What did he care? The love of his life, Laura, was here. It shouldn’t matter where I was.
Me: I’m fine. Parker’s here.
I patted Parker’s hand, but he was busy watching an exceptionally busty woman walk by. Bile rose up in my chest, and I swallowed it down. Parker wasn’t boyfriend material. But I wasn’t in any shape to be girlfriend material, so what did it matter?
Miles: Who’s Parker?
I started to type out my answer, but Miles didn’t give me enough time.
Miles: I’m coming to get you.
I scoffed and set my phone down. I doubted he would actually come, which was okay with me. I’d successfully bugged him, and that made me feel good. Especially with what Laura had said to me.
Two could play at this game.
Parker started to look bored. He kept asking me if we could dance, but I wasn’t in the mood. Instead, I kept my arm draped over him, which seemed to satiate him enough to stay.
Abigail had her head down on her elbow as she rested on the table. We were a pathetic-looking group of people.
“Get up.”
Miles’s hard tone and deep voice startled me. I glanced up to see him standing right next to Parker, glaring at him.
“Miles?” I asked, wondering if I was dreaming or if he was really standing here.
“I said, get up.”
Parker looked confused as well. “Hey, man,” he said when Miles hooked his hand around his arm and lifted him off the seat. “Geez, I’m getting up.” He stumbled to get his footing and yank his arm away from Miles.
“Stay away from her.” Miles took a step forward and Parker threw up his hands.
“We’re cool, dude. She’s a hot mess anyway,” he said as he walked away.
When Miles turned his gaze back to me, I could see the fire roaring inside of it.
“Get your purse. We’re leaving.”
I wanted to protest, but I didn’t have the strength or fortitude. Instead, I just nodded and slid off the stool. Miles was rousting Abigail, and soon, he had his arms around both of us as he helped us to the door.
Laura came rushing over to him, and I almost puked on her, but Miles just brushed her off, telling her he didn’t have time. I tried not to smile at the hurt look on her face as he half led, half carried the two of us out of the pub.
Abigail was awake enough to give him directions to her apartment, and he helped her inside. I called out the window that I would call her tomorrow before I collapsed against the seat and closed my eyes.
Miles climbed into the driver’s seat and shut the door behind him. We drove in silence through town and out to the inn. I wanted to ask Miles so many questions, but I didn’t know how to say any of them.
He turned off his headlights when he pulled into the parking lot, and he climbed out of his truck once he parked. I tried to leave with the same amount of speed, but I couldn’t coordinate myself enough.
Miles pulled open the passenger door, unbuckled me, and lifted me out of my seat.
“Hey,” I said, shifting to protest. He just tightened his grip.
I wanted to fight, but there was something about being this close to him that soothed me. I felt my body relax. I was too tired to fight him. So, I just spent the entire time he carried me glaring at him. If he noticed, he didn’t acknowledge it.
When we were in the kitchen, he set me down and stared at me for a moment before he turned and left. I could hear him talking to someone in the living room, thanking them for keeping an ear out for Belle. Silence fell around me, and I wondered if he’d gone to bed, forgetting all about me.
But seconds later, he appeared from the hallway that led to their bedrooms, a frustrated look on his face.
“What was that?” he asked as he crossed the kitchen and got down a glass.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, folding my arms across my chest in a sad attempt to protect myself.
Miles filled the glass with water. His gaze never left my face, which just left me feeling raw and vulnerable. He crossed the space between us and handed me the glass. I took it, hating that even though he looked frustrated with me, he was still trying to take care of me.
“Shelby, what are you doing?”
I took a drink. My anger and the coolness of the water was helping clear the clouds in my mind. I felt stupid and hurt. But most of all, I felt heart broken. Why didn’t he mention that he and Laura had gotten so close? Why was he stringing me on like this?
“I was fine before you came in. Parker was right where I wanted him, and I was enjoying myself,” I lied. I placed the bottom of the glass in my palm and wrapped my fingers up the side.
Miles was staring at me with an expression I couldn’t read. “Really?” he finally asked.
“Really.” I shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. After all, it’s not like you and I have anything going on.” I scoffed, hating that the words clawed at my
chest. Why did I want something different? “We don’t?”
I glanced up at him. Was he joking? I set the glass down and took a step back. I needed some space to breathe. He was too close, and it was confusing me. “Yeah. We don’t.”
He swallowed, and I watched every muscle in his neck move. He was fighting something, and for some reason that angered me. He was the one who’d picked someone else over…whatever we had.
“I saw Laura at the pub.”
His gaze flicked up to meet mine. “Yeah?”
I nodded. “She had some illuminating things to tell me.” He frowned. “Like what?”
I sighed and moved to the wall where the pictures of my childhood hung. I was so angry with Miles that it was crowding out the pain I usually felt when I stared at them. Right now, all I wanted was to stop hurting.
I chewed my bottom lip. “What are we doing, Miles? I feel like I’ve been an idiot ever since I walked back into this inn.” I crossed my arms. “I should have never come back.”
His hand was on my shoulder, and Miles spun me around. He stepped forward, pressing my back against the wall. He pressed his hands on either side of me, caging me in. He stared down at me, the fire in his gaze sparking a volcanic eruption in my stomach.
“If you hate me so much, just say the words,” he growled as his gaze bored into mine.
I parted my lips a few times, trying to figure out the words I wanted to say, but nothing was coming to me. Instead, I felt like a fish as I tried to gather my thoughts enough to sound coherent.
Miles noticed my lips, and when his gaze dropped to study my mouth, the desire to kiss him flooded every cell in my body. I wanted him. I wanted his lips on mine. His hands on my body. I wanted to feel every part of him.
But I was scared.
“Did you sleep with Laura?”
“What?” His gaze snapped back up to me.
“Did you sleep with Laura?” Saying the words again made my stomach churn. But I wanted to know…no I needed to know.
“Who said that?” “She did.”
Miles chuckled and leaned forward. He dropped his head down for a second before bringing his gaze back up to meet mine. “How could I ever sleep with her?” He moved closer, and my heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest. “She’s not you.”
Heat pulsed through my body at his words. My ears rang, and I feared that I’d misheard him. I stared at him, waiting for him to laugh and tell me it was all a joke. That he really loved Laura, and this was a fun prank.
But those words never came. Instead, he grew even more serious as he stared at me. Then, slowly, he slipped his fingers under my chin and tipped my face, so I had no other choice but to look at him.
“She’s not you, Shelby. I don’t want any other woman but you.”
I knew I should speak. I knew I should say something. But words were failing me. This was exactly what I wanted, and yet, I was so stunned that I couldn’t react.
And I feared if I didn’t say something, and soon, he was going to pull back and I was going to lose him…
Forever.
