THE DAY SEEMED to drag on. After I barricaded myself in the cottage, I showered, ate, and then spent the morning on the internet trying to do everything but think about what had transpired between me and Miles.
There was a moment last night that I thought I felt Miles kiss me on the head and tell me he loved me, but I shook that off right away as a dream. A strange dream—one brought on by these feelings I was starting to have toward him. Ones that I didn’t understand and really didn’t want to process. I was just in an emotional state, and I was clinging to the one person who was present and available. Plus, he was being so dang nice to me that
his actions would confuse anyone.
It was only normal for me to feel this cloudy.
I spent the afternoon cooking myself some pasta and watching Dr. Phil. Call me crazy, but I was determined to find an episode where he talked to estranged former step-siblings who were navigating how to deal with their new relationship after their grandmother died.
It was incredibly specific, and I tried not to be disappointed when I couldn’t find an episode that addressed these issues. Instead, I got sucked into one about a mother who was keeping her husband’s ashes in her bed.
By the time four o’clock rolled around, I’d done nothing but eat an entire bag of chips and watch five Dr. Phil episodes.
I brushed off the crumbs on my shirt and climbed out of the rocker I’d been camped out in all day. My phone chimed, and I hurried across the room to get it. Scrolling on social media and reading random celebrity news had drained the battery.
It was a text from Miles.
Miles: I need to leave in ten minutes. Does that work?
I shot back a thumbs-up emoji and hurried into my room to change out of my sweats and food-covered shirt. After running a brush through my hair and applying a bit of mascara and lip gloss, I stared at my reflection as the memory of Miles standing so close to me flooded my mind.
Had it meant something?
I shook my head. Of course, it didn’t. I was being ridiculous to think that.
As I slipped on my flip-flops, my phone chimed again. I hurried to grab it only to find that it was a message from Abigail.
Abigail: What are you doing tonight? Wanna hang out?
I paused and shot off a quick text before I opened the door and headed toward the inn.
Me: Can’t. Watching Belle, Miles’s daughter, tonight. Tomorrow?
She responded with a thumbs-up, and I slipped my phone into my back pocket as I hurried up the stairs and through the back door.
Miles was in the kitchen, unbuttoning the cuffs of his button-down shirt while Belle was in her high chair, eating a banana. When she saw me, her smile lit up her face. I grinned at her as I crossed the room and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Are we going to hang out tonight?”
She giggled, but her mouth was so full of banana that no words could come out.
“Thanks for coming over.”
Miles’s voice drew my attention. I straightened, hating that these ridiculous butterflies were back. “Yeah, well, like you said earlier, this date was my doing. I need to see it through.”
Miles was studying me as he rolled the sleeves of his blue button-up shirt to mid-forearm. Then he shrugged. “Still, I’m glad you are here.” He grinned when his gaze slipped to Belle. “And she is too.”
I tousled her hair, making sure not to pull any out of the pigtails that Miles had done. Then I turned my attention back to Miles, who was tucking in his shirt. My cheeks warmed as I watched him.
He caught me watching, and I quickly dropped my gaze. “So, what are you guys going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
His response surprised me, and I brought my gaze over to study him. “What?”
He was fastening his belt. “I figured we’d get some food at the diner and then bring it to the beach to eat.” He shrugged. “Or eat it there. I don’t really know.”
Jealousy rose up inside of me. He wanted to bring her to the beach? Those feelings startled me. Why was that affecting me like this? Not wanting him to notice, I shrugged, desperate to keep them from doing anything too romantic. “Staying at the restaurant sounds nice. You know, less sand.”
He was studying me now. I hated how blue his eyes were. Or the way he’d styled his hair like he actually cared what Laura thought about him. I hated that his shoulders were broad and that I knew what kind of physique he had under that shirt.
I hated that I didn’t want him to go. And my biggest fear was that he was going to fall in love with Laura before I could figure out why I hated all of these things.
His expression softened as if he could read my thoughts. I watched him take a few steps forward as he reached out his hand. “I don’t have to go…” His voice drifted off, but he didn’t look away. “If you want me to stay.”
I swallowed. The words, “Please, stay,” clung to my throat. I feared what those words would mean, so I just shrugged, glanced down at Belle, and patted her arm.
From the corner of my eye, I could see Miles staring at me. I cleared my throat and turned to give him a smile. “I’ll—we’ll be just fine,” I said.
He didn’t look like he believed me, but if that was the case, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he just nodded and turned to the counter where his wallet was sitting. “You have my number. Call me if her temperature spikes again.”
I nodded. “Got it. I can do that.”
He glanced at his phone for a second before his thumb began to move as if he were texting someone. Was it wrong that I wanted to know who it was? I wanted to know if it was Laura and what he was saying to her.
Was he calling it off?
I shook my head and dropped my gaze to Belle. Of course, he wasn’t calling it off. Why would he do that? I knew Miles, and he was a man of his
word. He wouldn’t say he would take Laura out just to call it off minutes before he had to leave to pick her up.
He slipped his phone into his pocket and crossed the room to stand next to us. My body warmed as he stood there. The smell of his cologne filled my nose and messed with my head. Suddenly, my heart was pounding, and all I wanted was for him to wrap me in his arms and pull me close.
I wanted him to touch me.
“Have you decided?” I asked, moving to stand on the other side of Belle’s highchair to get away from him.
Miles had crouched down to smile at Belle, so he glanced up at me and held my gaze for a moment. “Decided what?” There was a depth to his voice that made me wonder what that was about.
“About the restaurant or the beach?”
He looked confused for a moment then he nodded as he stood up. “I think we’re just going to hang out at the restaurant. I want to make sure I have cell service, and if we wander too far down the beach, I might lose it.” “You don’t trust me?” I asked, feeling hurt and relieved at the same
time. It was a strange sensation. “What?”
“With Belle. Is that why you want to stay within cellphone range?” He frowned. “Are you saying that I should take Laura to the beach?”
I scoffed and shook my head. I didn’t know what I was saying. Words were just spilling from my lips unchecked, and I couldn’t pull them back. “I’m not saying that.”
Miles crossed his arms. “So, I shouldn’t?”
I studied him for a moment before I dropped my gaze and shrugged. “I think you should do what you want to do. Belle will be fine with me.”
Suddenly, his shoes came into view, and his hands wrapped around my upper arms.
“Shelby?”’
I knew he wanted me to look at him. I could feel his stare even though I couldn’t see it. “What, Miles?” I choked out.
He pulled me in until I crashed into his chest and his arms wrapped around me. His hand went to my head, and he held me against his shoulder. He was warm. His shirt was soft. And the smell of his cologne mixed with him swarmed all my senses until I let go of my fear and wrapped my arms around him.
A sob escaped my lips as he held me. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. He pulled back. “For what?”
I sniffled as I brought my hand up to wipe at his tear-stained shirt. “I ruined your clothes for your date.”
He glanced down and chuckled. “That? It’s fine. Belle’s done worse.”
I laughed, and we both glanced over at Belle. Miles was the first to look back at me. I could see him studying me.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice deep and filled with emotion.
I finally gathered my courage to look back at him. “For what?”
“I should have gone after you. I should have been there that night. I was…” A pained expression passed over his face, and I backed away.
I didn’t want to talk about that night. I didn’t want him to say he was sorry. The memories filled my head, and my entire body went numb. “Please, don’t.” Why did he bring that up? We were finally coming closer together as friends, and then he had to say that.
I shook my head as I turned, biting my lip as I forced my emotions to calm.
“Shelby, I’m—”
“Shouldn’t you go? Laura is probably waiting for you.” I offered him a weak smile.
He studied me, and I could tell that he didn’t believe my words at all. Thankfully, he didn’t push me. Instead, he nodded, gave Belle a kiss on the cheek, and glanced at me as he passed by. I didn’t say anything until he was gone, and then I let out the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding.
“What do you want to do, princess?” I asked as I made my way over to her high chair and squatted down so I could see her. She just giggled, placed both hands on my cheeks, and squished them together until my lips puffed out.
We spent the night playing with Play-Doh and the kitchen toys until she grew bored. We went into her room and played with her dolls. When her eyes grew weary, I changed her into her pajamas, and we made our way out into the living room for a princess movie.
I snuggled with her on the couch. Her eyes were wide as she watched the princess dancing around on the screen. I took out my phone and scrolled through my messages. There wasn’t anything from Miles.
I don’t know why that frustrated me. It was 7:30 and he still wasn’t back. Was he enjoying himself? Was Laura that interesting of a person to
talk to?
Was he going to kiss her when he dropped her off?
Thirty minutes later, Belle nodded off. She’d been snuggling on my chest, so I rested my hand on her back and changed the channel with my other hand. I finally settled on a cooking show. My eyes felt heavy, but there was no way I was going to miss Miles coming home. I needed to know how his date went.
Suddenly, the feeling of two arms sliding underneath my back and knees startled me awake. The room was dark except for the low glow of the TV. Miles was staring down at me when my eyes whipped open.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
He hoisted me up, pulling me close to his chest. “You fell asleep,” he said.
I held onto Belle, terrified that he was going to drop us. “I can walk.”
He shook his head. “I know my daughter. She doesn’t like to be moved too much. So…” He paused as he glared down at me. “You hold her, and I’ll hold you. It’s time for bed.”
I knew I should fight him. Being wrapped up in his arms like this, having him care for me, wasn’t good for the confusing feelings in my chest, but the protest never came.
Instead, I just let him carry me through the living room, the kitchen, and into Belle’s room. He gently set me down on my feet in front of her crib, then he lowered the crib railing and I was able to slide her onto the mattress with little to no jostling.
She squirmed for a moment before she snuggled into the mattress. Miles draped her blanket over her, raised the railing, and suddenly, he was standing next to me.
His hand remained on the crib, but his body was centimeters from mine. “Thank you for that,” he said, his voice low and his gaze so intense it took my breath away.
“For what?” I knew I should look away, but I couldn’t. My gaze drifted down to his lips before I forced it back up.
That was a mistake. The look in his eyes intensified as he moved closer to me. “For taking care of my daughter. I appreciate it.”
My mouth went dry. His chest was practically pressed against mine as he towered over me. “Of course. I love that little girl,” I whispered.
He studied me for a moment before he tipped his head back and let out a low, guttural growl. Something inside of me broke, and all I wanted was to feel his lips on mine.
“Don’t say that to me,” he said, staring at me.
“What?” I whispered. I knew I needed to get out of here. If I didn’t, I might do something that I would regret in the light of tomorrow.
“Tell me that you love my daughter. Hold her like she’s your own.” His fingers were on my exposed arms, tracing lines as he dragged them up and down, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
“Miles, I…” I knew I should say I didn’t want this, but the truth was, I didn’t know what I wanted. I’d felt so dead inside for so long that I’d doubted I would ever feel again. But having Miles standing here, touching me…seeing me. I finally felt alive.
I wasn’t ready to give that up.
But as fast as it started, it stopped. Suddenly, Miles pulled his hand away from my arm and took a few giant steps back. He pushed his hands through his hair and dragged them both down his face.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” he said, his voice muffled behind his hands.
I wrapped my arms around my chest. My heart felt like it was breaking, which made no sense. I didn’t love Miles. He wasn’t that kind of guy to me. He was my ex-stepbrother and one of the reasons my heart was in shambles. Why had I almost kissed him?
It was hormones and the fact that it had been so long since I’d been touched by a man that I was desperate to feel it again. I was desperate not to hurt.
“It’s okay,” I said, shaking off his reaction and words. “You’re a little tipsy. Happens to the best of us.” I straightened. “We got a little carried away. We’re adults.”
He was in the shadows of Belle’s room now, staring at me. I couldn’t quite read his expression, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to. The moon cast its faint light into the room, barely lighting up his features.
When he didn’t speak, I gave him a weak smile and turned toward the door. “I should go. I’m tired, and you’ve had a long night.” I wanted to ask him. I wanted to know if he had fun with Laura, but I couldn’t bring myself to say the words.
The last thing I wanted to hear was that he’d had a fabulous time and hadn’t wanted to come home. I was strong enough to walk away from him, but for some reason, I wasn’t strong enough to hear those words.
Just as I cleared the door, Miles’s voice stopped me. “Shelby?”
Shivers ran down my body from the sound of my name on his tongue. Suddenly, I was thinking about his lips and what they might feel like pressed to mine. Or pressed to my skin. My heart pounded as I closed my eyes, hating and loving the desire that was pumping through my body with each second that passed.
“Yeah?” I asked, flicking my response over my shoulder. Silence.
My ears strained in case I’d missed something. I heard nothing but the soft breathing of Belle in her bed.
“Good night,” he finally said, his deep voice warming me all over.
I glanced over my shoulder even though I knew I shouldn’t. His gaze was fixed on me, the light reflecting off his eyes. Heat burned through me. “You, too,” I said, trying to ignore the fact that his gaze drifted down to my mouth as I spoke.
Not knowing what I would do if I stayed longer, I folded my arms and hurried out of the inn. The air was cooler when I stepped out onto the porch and closed the back door behind me. I ducked my head and crossed the yard and slipped into the cottage.
Once I was safely behind the door, I leaned against it, tipped my head back, and took in a deep breath.
What had that been? Did I want…Miles?
I let that question linger in my mind before I shook it out and pushed off the door. I needed a hot shower and a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow, I would think differently. Tomorrow, I wouldn’t feel so confused.
Tomorrow, I wouldn’t want to feel the hands of the man I thought I knew, roaming across my body.
