The door Mrs. Laughlin had sent me through didnโt lead directly to a bathroom. It led to a bedroom that held two twin beds and little else. The walls were painted a light purple; the twin comforters were quilted from squares of fabric in lavender and violet.
The bathroom door was slightly ajar.
I walked toward it, so painfully aware of my surroundings that I felt like I could have heard a pin drop a mile away.ย Thereโs no one here. Iโm safe. Itโs okay. Iโm okay.
Inside the bathroom, I checked behind the shower curtain.ย Thereโs no one here, I told myself again.ย Iโm okay.ย I managed to get my cell phone out of my pocket and called Max. I needed her to answer. I needed not to be alone with this. What I got was voicemail.
I called seven times, and she didnโt pick up.
Maybe she couldnโt.ย Or maybe she doesnโt want to.ย That hit me almost as hard as looking in the mirror and seeing my blood-streaked, dirt-smeared face. I stared at myself.
I could hear the echo of gunfire.
Stop.ย I needed to washโmy hands, my face, the streaks of blood on my chest.ย Turn on the water, I told myself sternly.ย Pick up the washcloth.ย I willed my body to move.
I couldnโt.
Hands reached past me to turn on the faucet. I should have jumped. I should have panicked. But somehow, my body relaxed into the person behind me.
โItโs okay, Heiress,โ Jameson murmured. โIโve got you.โ
I hadnโt heard Jameson come in. I wasnโt entirely sure how long Iโd been standing there, frozen.
Jameson reached for a pale purple washcloth and held it under the water.
โIโm fine,โ I insisted, as much to myself as to him.
Jameson lifted the washcloth to my face. โYouโre a horrible liar.โ He ran the cloth over my cheek, working his way down toward the scratch. A breath caught in my throat. He rinsed the washcloth, blood and dirt coloring the sink, as he lifted the cloth back to my skin.
Again. And again.
He washed my face, took my hands in his and held them under the water, his fingers working the dirt from mine. My skin responded to his touch. For the first time, no part of me said to pull away. He was so gentle. He wasnโt acting like this was just a game to himโlike I was just a game.
He picked the washcloth back up and ran it down my neck to my shoulder, over my collarbone and across. The water was warm. I leaned into his touch.ย This is a bad idea.ย I knew that. Iโd always known that, but I let myself concentrate on the feel of Jameson Hawthorneโs touch, the stroke of the cloth.
โIโm okay,โ I said, and I could almost believe that. โYouโre better than okay.โ
I closed my eyes. Heโd been there with me in the forest. I could feel his body over mine. Protecting me. I needed this. I neededย something.
I opened my eyes, looked at him. Focused on him. I thought about going two hundred miles an hour, about the climbing wall, about the moment Iโd first seen him up on that balcony. Was being a sensation seeker so bad? Was wanting to feel something other thanย awfulย really so wrong?
Everyone is a little wrong sometimes, Heiress.
Something gave inside of me, and I pushed him gently back against the bathroom wall.ย I need this.ย His deep green eyes met mine.ย He needs it, too.ย โYes?โ I asked him hoarsely.
โYes, Heiress.โ
My lips closed over his. He kissed me back, gentle at first, then not gently at all. Maybe it was the aftereffects of shock, but as I drove my hands into his hair, as he grabbed my ponytail and angled my face upward, I could see a thousand versions of him in my mind:ย Balanced on the balconyโs railing. Shirtless and sunlit in the solarium. Smiling. Smirking. Our hands touching on the bridge. His body protecting mine in the Black Wood. Trailing a washcloth down my neckโ
Kissing him felt like fire. He wasnโt soft and sweet, the way he had been while washing away the blood and dirt. I didnโt need soft or sweet.ย Thisย was exactly what I needed.
Maybe I could be what he needed, too. Maybe this didnโt have to be a bad idea. Maybe the complications were worth it.
He pulled back from the kiss, his lips only an inch away from mine. โI always knew you were special.โ
I felt his breath on my face. I felt every last one of those words. Iโd never thought of myself as special. Iโd been invisible for so long.ย Wallpaper.ย Even after Iโd become the biggest story in the world, it had never really felt like anyone was paying attention toย me. The real me.
โWeโre so close now,โ Jameson murmured. โI can feel it.โ There was an energy in his voice, like the buzzing of a neon light. โSomeone obviously didnโt want us looking at that tree.โ
What?
He went to kiss me again, and, my heart sinking, I turned my head to the side. Iโd thoughtโฆ I wasnโt sure what Iโd thought.ย That when he told me I was special, he wasnโt talking about the moneyโor the puzzle.
โYou think someone shot at us because of a tree?โ I said, the words getting caught in my throat. โNot, say, the fortune I inherited that your family would like to get their hands on? Not the billions of reasons that anyone with the last name Hawthorne has to hate me?โ
โDonโt think about that,โ Jameson whispered, cupping my cheeks. โThink about Tobyโs name carved into that tree. Infinity carved into the bridge.โ His face was close enough to mine that I could still feel his breath. โWhat if what the puzzle is trying to tell us is that my uncle isnโt dead?โ
Wasย thatย what heโd been thinking when someone was shooting at us? In the kitchen, as Oren took a needle to my wound? As heโd brought his lips to mine? Because if the only thing heโd been able to think about was the mysteryโฆ
Youโre not a player, kid. Youโre the glass ballerinaโor the knife.
โWill you listen to yourself?โ I demanded. My chest was tightโtighter now than it had been in the forest, in the thick of it all. Nothing about Jamesonโs reaction should have surprised me, so why did it hurt?
Why was I letting it hurt?
โOren just pulled a chunk of wood out of my chest,โ I said, my voice
low, โand if things had worked out a little differently, he could have been pulling out a bullet.โ I gave Jameson a second to replyโjust one.ย Nothing.ย โWhat happens to the money if I die while the will is in probate?โ I asked flatly. Alisa had told me the Hawthorne family didnโt stand to benefit, but didย theyย know that? โWhat happens if whoever fired that gun scares me off, and I leave before the year is up?โ Did they know that if I left, it all went to charity? โNot everything is a game, Jameson.โ
I saw something flicker in his eyes. He closed them, just for an instant, then opened them and leaned in, bringing his lips painfully close to mine. โThatโs the thing, Heiress. If Emily taught me anything, itโs that everythingย isย a game. Even this.ย Especiallyย this.โ