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Chapter no 4 – โ€Œโ€Œโ€Œโ€ŒBEFOREโ€Œ

The House Across the Lake PDF

I wake again just after nine, my head still pounding but the spinning and nausea blessedly gone. Still, I feel like death. Smell like it, too. And Iโ€™m certain I look like

it.

My mother would be appalled. Iย amย appalled.

As I sit up in a tangle of blankets, the first thing I notice

is the muted rush of running water coming from downstairs.

The sink in the powder room. I never turned it off.

I leap out of bed, hobble down the steps, find the tap still running at full blast. Two-thirds of the basin is filled with water, and I suspect excellent plumbing is the only thing that prevented it from overflowing. I cut the water as memories of last night come back in stark flashes.

The whiskey.

The binoculars.

The fight and the phone call and Katherineโ€™s wave at the window.

And the scream.

The last thing I remember but the most important. And the most suspect. Did I really hear a scream at the break of dawn? Or was it just part of a drunken dream I had while passed out on the porch?

While I hope it was the latter, I suspect it was the former. I assume that in a dream, I would have heard a

scream more clearly. A vivid cry filling my skull. But what I heard this morning was something else.

The aftermath of a scream.

A sound both vague and elusive.

But if the screamย didย happenโ€”which is the theory working its way through my hungover brainโ€”it sounded like Katherine. Well, it sounded like a woman. And as far as I know, sheโ€™s the only other woman staying at the lake right now.

I spend the next few minutes hunting my phone, eventually finding it still on the porch, sitting on the table next to the binoculars. After an entire night spent outside, thereโ€™s only a wisp of battery life left. Before taking it inside to charge, I check to see if I got any calls or texts from Katherine.

I didnโ€™t.

I decide to text her, carefully wording my message while a strong mug of coffee zaps me to life and the charger does the same to my phone.

I just made coffee. Come over if you want some. I think we should talk about last night.

I hit send before I can even consider deleting it.

While waiting for a response, I sip my coffee and think about the scream.

If thatโ€™s what it really was.

Iโ€™ve spent half my life on this lake. I know it could have been something else. Many animals arrive at night to prowl the lakeshore or even the water itself. Screeching owls and loud waterfowl. Once, when Marnie and I were kids, a fox somewhere along the shore, defending its turf from another animal, screamed for the better part of the night. Literally screamed. Hearing its cries echo over the water was bone-

chilling, even after Eli explained to us in detail what was happening.

But Iโ€™m used to those noises, and am able to sleep right through them. Especially after a night spent drinking. This was something different enough to startle me awake, even with most of a bottle of whiskey under my belt.

Right now, Iโ€™m seventy-five percent sure that what I heard was a woman screaming. While thatโ€™s far from certain, itโ€™s enough to keep concern humming through me as I check my phone again.

Still nothing from Katherine.

Rather than continue to wait for a return text, I decide to call her. The phone rings three times before going to voicemail.

โ€œHi, youโ€™ve reached Katherine. Iโ€™m not available to take your call right now. Or maybe Iโ€™m just ignoring you. If you leave your name and number, youโ€™ll find out which one it is if I call you back.โ€

I wait for the beep and leave a message.

โ€œHey, itโ€™s Casey.โ€ I pause, thinking of how to phrase this. โ€œI just wanted to see if youโ€™re all right. I know you said you were last night, but early this morning, I thought I heardโ€”โ€

I pause again, hesitant to come right out and say what it is I think I heard. I donโ€™t want to sound overly dramatic or, worse, downright delusional.

โ€œAnyway, call me back. Or feel free to just come over.

Itโ€™ll be nice to chat.โ€

I end the call, shove my phone back into my pocket, and go about my day.

Vodka. Neat.

Another vodka. Also neat.

Shower, minus the crying but with a new, unwelcome anxiety.

A grilled cheese sandwich for lunch.

When the grandfather clock in the living room strikes one and Katherine still hasnโ€™t replied, I call again, once more getting her voicemail.

โ€œHi, youโ€™ve reached Katherine.โ€

I hang up without leaving a message, pour a bourbon, and carry it to the porch. The whiskey bottle from last night is still there, a mouthful of liquid still sloshing inside. I kick it out of the way, sink into a rocking chair, and check my phone ten times in three minutes.

Still nothing.

I pick up the binoculars and peer at the Royce house, hoping for a sign of Katherine but seeing nothing in return. Itโ€™s that hour when the sun starts glinting off the glass walls and the reflection of the sky hides whatโ€™s behind them like a pair of closed eyelids.

While watching the house, I think about the unusual nature of what I saw last night. Something big went down inside that house. Something thatโ€™s none of my business yet, oddly, still my concern. Even though I havenโ€™t known her very long at all, I consider Katherine a friend. Or, at the very least, someone who could become a friend. And new friends arenโ€™t easy to come by once you hit your thirties.

Out on the lake, a familiar boat floats in the distance. I swing the binoculars toward it and see Eli sitting at the bow, fishing rod in hand. If anyone else on the lake heard the same sound I did, it would be him. I know he likes to rise with the sun, so thereโ€™s a chance he was awake then. And if he did hear it, he might be able to clarify what it was and put my simmering worry to rest.

I call his cell, assuming he has it on him.

While the phone rings, I continue to watch him through the binoculars. An annoyed look crosses his face as he pats a front pocket of his fishing vestโ€”a sign heโ€™s definitely carrying his phone. After propping his fishing rod against the side of the boat, he looks at his phone, then at the lake house. Seeing me on the porch, my phone in hand, he gives me a wave and answers.

โ€œIf youโ€™re calling to see if Iโ€™ve caught anything, the answer is no.โ€

โ€œI have a different question,โ€ I say, adding a warning. โ€œAn unusual one. Did you happen to hear a strange noise outside this morning?โ€

โ€œWhat time?โ€ โ€œDawn.โ€

โ€œI wasnโ€™t awake then,โ€ Eli says. โ€œDecided to sleep in a little. Iโ€™m assuming you heard something?โ€

โ€œI think so. Iโ€™m not sure. I was hoping you could back me up on that.โ€

Eli doesnโ€™t ask me why I was awake at dawn. I suspect he already knows.

โ€œWhat kind of noise are you talking about?โ€ โ€œA scream.โ€

Saying it out loud, I realize how unlikely it sounds. The odds of someone, let alone Katherine Royce, screaming at the break of dawn are slim, although not impossible.

Bad things can happen on this lake. I know that from experience.

โ€œA scream?โ€ Eli says. โ€œYou sure it wasnโ€™t a fox or something?โ€

Am I sure? Not really. Even during this conversation, my certainty level has lowered from seventy-five percent to about fifty.

โ€œIt sounded like a person to me,โ€ I say.

โ€œWhy would someone be screaming at that hour?โ€

โ€œWhy does anyone scream, Eli? Because she was in danger.โ€

โ€œShe? You think it was Katherine Royce you heard?โ€

โ€œI canโ€™t think of anyone else it could have been,โ€ I say. โ€œHave you seen any sign of her today?โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ Eli says. โ€œThen again, I havenโ€™t exactly been looking. You worried something happened to her?โ€

I tell him no, when the opposite is true. Katherineโ€™s lack of a response to my text and calls has me feeling unnerved, even though in all likelihood thereโ€™s a perfectly good reason for it. She could still be sleeping, her phone silenced or in another room.

โ€œIโ€™m sure everythingโ€™s fine,โ€ I say, more to convince myself than Eli.

โ€œDo you want me to stop over there and check?โ€

Because heโ€™s the lakeโ€™s one-man neighborhood watch, I know Eli would be happy to do it. But this is my worry, not his. Itโ€™s time to pay the Royces a visit, and hopefully all my concerns will be put to rest.

โ€œIโ€™ll go,โ€ I say. โ€œItโ€™ll be good to get out of the house.โ€

Tom Royce is on the dock by the time I reach it. Clearly, he saw me coming because he stands like a man expecting company. Heโ€™s even dressed for

casual visitors. Black jeans. White sneakers. Cashmere sweater the same color as the pricey wine he brought over two nights ago. He offers an exaggeratedly friendly wave as I moor the boat and join him on the dock.

โ€œHowdy, neighbor. What brings you by this afternoon?โ€ โ€œI came by to see if Katherine wanted to come over for

some girl talk and an afternoon cocktail on the porch.โ€

I prepared the excuse on the trip from my dock to his, hoping it would make it look like Iโ€™m not overreacting. Which I suspect I totally am. Katherineโ€™s fine and Iโ€™m just worried because of something I saw and something I heard and something that happened to my husband more than a year ago. All of which are completely unrelated.

โ€œIโ€™m afraid sheโ€™s not here,โ€ Tom says. โ€œWhen will she be back?โ€

โ€œProbably not until next summer.โ€

The answerโ€™s as unexpected as a door slammed in my face.

โ€œSheโ€™s gone?โ€

โ€œShe went back to our apartment in the city,โ€ Tom says. โ€œLeft early this morning.โ€

I take a few more steps closer to him, noticing a red patch on his left cheek where Katherine had punched him. Considering that, maybe her departure shouldnโ€™t be a

surprise after all. I can even picture the events leading up to her decision.

First the fight, ending with a haymaker to Tomโ€™s face.

Then my phone call, likely made after sheโ€™d already decided to leave. Thinking about her brief appearance at the bedroom window, I now see that strange wave in a different light. Itโ€™s entirely possible it was a wave goodbye.

After that there could have been some frantic packing in the darkness of their bedroom. Finally, just as she was about to leave, the fight flared up again. Both of them trying to get in their last licks. During that final showdown, Katherine screamed. It might have been from frustration. Or from rage. Or simply just a release of all the emotions sheโ€™d had pent up inside her.

Or, I think with a shudder, maybe Tom did something that made her scream.

โ€œWhat time this morning?โ€ I say as I eye him with suspicion.

โ€œEarly. She called me a little while ago to say she arrived safely.โ€

So far, that tracks with my theory about when Katherine left. What doesnโ€™t track is Tomโ€™s Bentley, which sits beneath the portico that juts from the side of the house. Itโ€™s slate gray, as sleek and shiny as a wet seal.

โ€œHowโ€™d she get there?โ€ โ€œCar service, of course.โ€

That doesnโ€™t explain why Katherine hasnโ€™t called or texted me back. After last nightโ€”and after making casual plans to meet again for coffee this morningโ€”it seems unusual she hasnโ€™t told me herself that she went back to New York.

โ€œIโ€™ve tried reaching her several times today,โ€ I say. โ€œSheโ€™s not answering her phone.โ€

โ€œShe doesnโ€™t check her phone when traveling. She keeps it in her purse, silenced.โ€

Tomโ€™s response, like all of them so far, makes perfect sense and, if you think about it too much, no sense at all. Six days ago, as Ricardo drove me to the lake house, sheer boredom kept me fixated on my phone. Then again, most of that time was spent Googling to see if any liquor stores in the area delivered.

โ€œBut you just said she called you from the apartment.โ€ โ€œI think she wants to be left alone,โ€ Tom says.

I take that to meanย heย wants to be left alone. Iโ€™m not ready to do that just yet. The more he talks, the more suspicious I get. I zero in on the red mark on Tomโ€™s cheek, picturing the exact moment he got it.

Him jerking Katherine away from the window. Her lashing out, punching back.

Was that the first time something like that happened? Or had it occurred multiple times before? If so, maybe itโ€™s possible that Tom took it one step further just as dawn was breaking over the lake.

โ€œWhyย did Katherine leave?โ€ I say, being purposefully nosy in the hope heโ€™ll reveal more than heโ€™s told me so far.

Tom squints, scratches the back of his neck, and then folds his arms tight across his chest. โ€œShe said she didnโ€™t want to be here when Hurricane Trish passed through. She was worried. Big house. Strong winds. All this glass.โ€

Thatโ€™s the opposite of what Katherine told me yesterday. According to her, it was Tom who was concerned about the storm. Still, itโ€™s certainly possible me talking about being without power for days made her change her mind. Just like itโ€™s also possible sheโ€™s not into roughing it as much as she claimed.

But then why is she gone while Tom remains?

โ€œWhy didnโ€™t you go with her?โ€ I ask.

โ€œBecause Iโ€™mย notย worried about the storm,โ€ Tom says. โ€œBesides, I thought it best to stick around in case something happens to the place.โ€

A rational answer. One thatย almostย sounds like the truth.

Iโ€™d be inclined to believe it if not for two things.

Number one: Tom and Katherine fought last night. That almost certainly has something to do with why she left so suddenly.

Number two: It doesnโ€™t explain what I heard this morning. And since Tom isnโ€™t going to mention it, itโ€™s up to me.

โ€œI thought I heard a noise this morning,โ€ I say. โ€œComing from this side of the lake.โ€

โ€œA noise?โ€

โ€œYes. A scream.โ€

I pause, waiting to see how Tom reacts. He doesnโ€™t. His face remains still as a mask until he says, โ€œWhat time?โ€

โ€œJust before dawn.โ€

โ€œI was asleep long past dawn,โ€ Tom says.

โ€œBut I thought thatโ€™s when Katherine left?โ€

He stands frozen for a second, and at first I think Iโ€™ve caught him in a lie. But he recovers quickly, saying, โ€œI said she left early. Not at dawn. And I donโ€™t appreciate you insinuating that Iโ€™m lying.โ€

โ€œAnd I wouldnโ€™t need to insinuate that if you just told me a time.โ€

โ€œEight.โ€

Even though Tom throws out the number like heโ€™s just thought of it, the timeline fits. It takes a little under five hours to get from here to Manhattan, making it more than conceivable that Katherine would be there by now, even with a lengthy pit stop.

Tom lifts a hand to his cheek, rubbing the spot where it connected with his wifeโ€™s fist. โ€œI donโ€™t understand why youโ€™re so curious about Katherine. I didnโ€™t know the two of you were friends.โ€

โ€œWe were friendly,โ€ I say.

โ€œIโ€™m friendly with lots of people. That doesnโ€™t make it okay to interrogate their spouses if they went somewhere without telling me.โ€

Ah, the old minimize-a-womanโ€™s-concern-by-making-her- think-sheโ€™s-obsessed-and-slightly-hysterical bit. I expected something more original from Tom.

โ€œIโ€™m simply concerned,โ€ I say.

Realizing heโ€™s still rubbing his cheek, Tom drops his hand and says, โ€œYou shouldnโ€™t be. Because Katherineโ€™s not concerned about you. Thatโ€™s the thing you need to understand about my wife. She gets bored very easily. One minute, she wants to leave the city and drive up here to the lake for two weeks. A couple of days after that, she decides she wants to go back to the city. Itโ€™s the same with people. Theyโ€™re like clothes to her. Something she can try on and wear for a while before moving on to the newest look.โ€

Katherine never gave off that vibe. Sheโ€”and the brief connection we hadโ€”seemed genuine, which makes me think even more that Tom is lying.

Not just about this. About everything.

And I decide to call his bluff.

โ€œI talked to Katherine last night,โ€ I say. โ€œIt was after one in the morning. She told me you two had a fight.โ€

A lie of my own. A little one. But Tom doesnโ€™t need to know that. At first, I think heโ€™s going to tell another lie in response. Thereโ€™s something at work behind his eyes. Wheels turning, seeking an excuse. Finding none, he finally

says, โ€œYes, we fought. It got heated. Both of us did and said things we shouldnโ€™t have. When I woke up this morning, Katherine was gone.ย Thatโ€™sย why I was being vague about everything. Happy now? Or are there even more personal questions about our marriage youโ€™d like to ask?โ€

At last, Tom seems to be telling the truth. Of course thatโ€™s likely what happened. They had a fight, Katherine left, and sheโ€™s now in New York, probably calling the most expensive divorce lawyer money can buy.

Itโ€™s also none of my business, a fact I never seriously considered until this moment. Now that I have, I find myself caught between vindication and shame. Tom was wrong to imply I was being obsessive and hysterical. I was worse: a nosy neighbor. A part Iโ€™ve never played before, either on-stage or onscreen. In real life, itโ€™s not a good fit. In fact, itโ€™s downright hypocritical. I, of all people, know what it feels like to have private problems dragged out for public scrutiny. Just because it had been done to me doesnโ€™t mean itโ€™s okay for me to do it to Tom Royce.

โ€œNo,โ€ I say. โ€œIโ€™m really sorry to have bothered you.โ€

I slink back down the dock and step into the boat, already making a to-do list for when I get back to the lake house.

First, toss Lenโ€™s binoculars into the trash.

Second, find a way to occupy myself that doesnโ€™t involve spying on the neighbors.

Third, leave Tom alone and forget about Katherine Royce.

That turns out to be easier planned than done. Because as I push the boat away from the dock, I catch a glimpse of Tom watching me leave. He stands in a slash of sunlight that makes the mark on his face stand out even more. He touches it again, his fingers moving in a circle over the

angry red reminder that Katherine had once been here but is now gone.

Seeing it prompts a memory of something Katherine said about him yesterday.

Tom needs me too much to agree to a divorce. Heโ€™d kill me before letting me leave.

I text Katherine again as soon as I get back to the lake house.

Heard youโ€™re back in the Big Apple. Had I known you were plotting an escape, I would have hitched a ride.

I then plant myself on the porch and stare at my phone, as if doing it long enough will conjure up a response. So far, itโ€™s not working. The only call I receive is my motherโ€™s daily check-in, which I let go straight to voicemail before heading inside to pour a glass of bourbon.

My second of the day. Maybe third.

I take a hearty sip, return to the porch, and check the previous texts I sent Katherine. None of them have been read.

Worrisome.

If Katherine called Tom after arriving home in New York, then she certainly would have seen that I had called and texted.

Unless Tom was indeed lying about that.

Yes, he told the truth about their fight, but only after I prodded. And on another matterโ€”the scream Iโ€™m still fifty percent sure I heardโ€”he remained frustratingly vague. Tom only said he was asleep past dawn. He never actually denied hearing a scream.

Then there are those two sentencesโ€”easy to dismiss at the time, increasingly ominous in hindsightโ€”Katherine spoke while sitting in the very same rocking chair I occupy

now. They refuse to leave my head, repeating in the back of my skull like lines Iโ€™ve spent too much time rehearsing.

Tom needs me too much to agree to a divorce. Heโ€™d kill me before letting me leave.

Ordinarily, Iโ€™d assume it was a joke. Thatโ€™s my go-to defense mechanism, after all. Using humor as a shield, pretending my pain doesnโ€™t hurt at all. Which is why I suspect there was a ring of truth to what she said. Especially after what she told me yesterday about all of Tomโ€™s money being tied up in Mixer and how she pays for everything.

Then thereโ€™s the fight itself, which could have been over money but I suspect was about more than that. Seared into my memory is the way Tom pleaded with Katherine, repeating that word I couldnโ€™t quite read on his lips.ย How? Who?ย All of it climaxing with him wrenching her away from the window and her striking back.

Just before that, though, was the surreal moment when Katherine and I locked eyes. I know from the phone call afterwards that she somehow knew I was watching. Now I wonder if, in that brief instant when her gaze met mine, Katherine was trying to tell me something.

Maybe she was begging for help.

Despite my vow to drop the binoculars in the trash, here they are, sitting right next to my glass of bourbon. I pick them up and look across the lake to the Royce house. Although Tomโ€™s no longer outside, the presence of the Bentley lets me know heโ€™s still there.

Everything he told me mostly adds up, signaling I should believe him. Those few loose threads prevent me from doing so. I wonโ€™t be able to fully trust Tom until Katherine gets back to meโ€”or I get proof from another source.

It occurs to me that Tom mentioned exactly where they live in the city. A fancy building not too far from mine, although theirs borders Central Park. I know it well. Upper West Side. A few blocks north of where the Bartholomew once stood.

Since I canโ€™t go there myself, I enlist the next best person for the job.

โ€œYou want me to doย what?โ€ Marnie says when I call to make my request.

โ€œGo to their building and ask to see Katherine Royce.โ€ โ€œKatherine? I thought she was at Lake Greene.โ€

โ€œNot anymore.โ€

I give her a recap of the past few days. Katherine unhappy. Tom acting strange. Me watching it all through the binoculars. The fight and the scream and Katherineโ€™s sudden departure.

To Marnieโ€™s credit, she waits until Iโ€™m finished before asking, โ€œWhy have you been spying on them?โ€

I donโ€™t have a suitable answer. I was curious, bored, nosy, all of the above.

โ€œIย think itโ€™s because youโ€™re sad and lonely,โ€ Marnie offers. โ€œWhich is understandable, considering everything youโ€™ve been through. And you want a break from feeling all of that.โ€

โ€œCan you blame me?โ€

โ€œNo. But this isnโ€™t the way to take your mind off things. Now youโ€™ve become obsessed with the supermodel living on the other side of the lake.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m not obsessed.โ€

โ€œThen what are you?โ€

โ€œWorried,โ€ I say. โ€œNaturally worried about someone whose life I just saved. You know that saying. Save a personโ€™s life and youโ€™re responsible for them forever.โ€

โ€œOne, Iโ€™ve never heard that saying. Two, that is, like, the definition of being obsessed.โ€

โ€œMaybe so,โ€ I say. โ€œThatโ€™s not whatโ€™s important right now.โ€

โ€œI beg to differ. This isnโ€™t healthy behavior, Casey. Itโ€™s notย moralย behavior.โ€

I let out an annoyed huff so loud it sounds like rustling wind hitting my phone. โ€œIf I wanted a lecture, I would have called my mother.โ€

โ€œCall her,โ€ Marnie says. โ€œPlease.ย Sheโ€™s been bothering me instead, saying that youโ€™re ignoring her.โ€

โ€œWhich I am. If you go check to see if Katherine is there, Iโ€™ll call my mother and get her off your back.โ€

Marnie pretends to think it over, even though I already know itโ€™s a done deal.

โ€œFine,โ€ she says. โ€œBut before I go, one last question.

Have you checked social media?โ€ โ€œIโ€™m not on social media.โ€

โ€œAnd thank God for that,โ€ Marnie says. โ€œBut I assume Katherine is. Find some of her accounts. Twitter. Instagram. The one her husband literally invented and owns. Surely sheโ€™s on that. Maybe itโ€™ll give you an idea of where she is and what sheโ€™s up to.โ€

Itโ€™s such a good idea Iโ€™m pissed I didnโ€™t think of it on my own. After all, following someone on social media is just a more acceptable form of spying.

โ€œIโ€™ll do that. While you go check to see if Katherineโ€™s home. Right now.โ€

After a few muttered curse words and a promise that sheโ€™s leaving this second, Marnie ends the call. While waiting to hear back, I do what she says and check Katherineโ€™s social media.

First up is Instagram, where Katherine has more than four million followers.

Of course she does.

The pictures sheโ€™s posted are an eye-pleasing mix of sun-flooded interiors, throwbacks to her modeling days, and candid selfies of her slathered in face cream or eating candy bars. Interspersed are gentle, earnest urgings to support the charities she works with.

Even though itโ€™s all carefully curated, Katherine still comes off as a sharp-witted woman who wants to be known as more than just a pretty face. An accurate representation of the Katherine Iโ€™ve come to know. Thereโ€™s even a recent photo taken at Lake Greene, showing her reclining on the edge of their dock in that teal bathing suit, the water behind her and, beyond that, the very porch Iโ€™m now sitting on.

I look at the date and see it was posted two days ago. Right before she almost drowned in the lake.

Her most recent photo is a view of a pristine, all-white kitchen with a stainless steel teakettle on the stove, a Piet Mondrian calendar on the wall, and lilies in a vase by the window. Outside, Central Park spreads out below in all its pastoral splendor. The caption is short and sweet:ย Thereโ€™s no place like home.

I check when it was posted. An hour ago.

So Tom wasnโ€™t lying after all. Katherine did indeed return to their apartment, a fact that seems to have surprised her famous friends whoโ€™ve left comments.

Ur back in the city?! YAY!!ย one of them wrote. Another replied,ย That was quick!

Tom himself even weighed in:ย Keep the home fires burning, babe!

I exhale, breathing out all the tension I didnโ€™t know I was holding in.

Katherine is fine. Good.

Yet my relief is tempered by a slight stab of rejection. Maybe that was another of Tomโ€™s truthsโ€”that Katherine gets bored quickly. Now that I know with certainty that sheโ€™s been on her phone, itโ€™s clear Katherine didnโ€™t miss my calls or texts. Sheโ€™s avoiding me, just like Iโ€™m avoiding my mother. I realize Iโ€™m the kind of person Katherine gently chided in her voicemail message. The ones who are being ignored.

After last night, I canโ€™t really blame her. She knows Iโ€™ve been watching her house. Marnie was right when she said thatโ€™s not healthy behavior. In fact, itโ€™s downright unnerving. Who spends so much time spying on their neighbors? Losers, thatโ€™s who. Lonely losers who drink too much and have nothing better to do.

Okay, maybe Marnieโ€™s correct and Iย amย a little obsessed with Katherine. Yes, some of that obsession is valid. Since I saved Katherineโ€™s life, itโ€™s only natural to be concerned with her well-being. But the truth is harsher than that. I became fixated on Katherine to avoid facing my own problems, of which there are many.

Annoyedโ€”at Katherine, at Marnie, at myselfโ€”I grab the binoculars, carry them inside, and drop them into the trash. Something I should have done days ago.

I return to the porch and my go-to security blanket of bourbon, which I sip until Marnie calls back a half hour later, the familiar sounds of Manhattan traffic honking in the background.

โ€œI already know what youโ€™re going to say,โ€ I tell her. โ€œKatherineโ€™s there. You were right and I was stupid.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s not what their doorman just told me,โ€ Marnie says.

โ€œYou talked to him?โ€

โ€œI told him I was an old friend of Katherineโ€™s who just happened to be in the neighborhood and wondered if she wanted to grab lunch. I donโ€™t think he believed me, but it doesnโ€™t matter because he still told me that the Royces are currently at their vacation home in Vermont.โ€

โ€œAnd those were his exact words?โ€ I say. โ€œThe Royces.

Not just Mr. Royce.โ€

โ€œPlural. I even did the whole oh-I-thought-I-saw- Katherine-across-the-street-yesterday routine. He told me I was mistaken and that Mrs. Royce hasnโ€™t been at the apartment for several days.โ€

A fierce chill grips me. It feels like Iโ€™ve just been thrown into the lake and am now lost in the waterโ€™s frigid darkness.

I was right.

Tomย wasย lying.

โ€œNow Iโ€™m really worried,โ€ I say. โ€œWhy would Tom lie to me like that?โ€

โ€œBecause whateverโ€™s going on is none of your business,โ€ Marnie says. โ€œYou said yourself that Katherine seemed unhappy. Maybe she is. And so she left him. For all you know, thereโ€™s a Dear John letter sitting on the kitchen counter right now.โ€

โ€œIt still doesnโ€™t add up. I did what you suggested and looked at her Instagram. She just posted a picture from inside her apartment.โ€

Marnie chews on that a minute. โ€œHow do you know itโ€™s her apartment?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t,โ€ I say. I only assumed it was because Katherine said so in the caption and because it had a view of Central

Park and looked to be roughly where the Roycesโ€™ apartment is located.

โ€œSee?โ€ Marnie says. โ€œMaybe Katherine told Tom she was going to the apartment but really went to stay with a friend or a family member. He might not have any clue where she is and was too embarrassed to admit that.โ€

It would be a sound theory if I hadnโ€™t seen Tomโ€™s comment on the picture.

Keep the home fires burning, babe!

โ€œThat means it really is their apartment,โ€ I tell Marnie after explaining what I saw.

โ€œFine,โ€ Marnie says. โ€œLetโ€™s say itย isย their apartment. That either means Katherineโ€™s there and the doorman lied, or it means she posted a photo that was saved on her phone to hide the fact from her husband that sheโ€™s not really at their apartment. Either way, none of this points to Katherine being in danger.โ€

โ€œBut I heard Katherine scream early this morning,โ€ I say.

โ€œAre you certain thatโ€™s what you heard?โ€ โ€œIt wasnโ€™t an animal.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m not suggesting it was,โ€ Marnie says. โ€œIโ€™m merely saying that maybe you didnโ€™t hear it at all.โ€

โ€œYou think I imagined it?โ€

The delicate pause I get in return warns me that Marnieโ€™s about to drop a truth bomb.

A big one.

Atomic.

โ€œHow much did you have to drink last night?โ€ she says.

My gaze is drawn to the mostly empty whiskey bottle still overturned on the porch floor. โ€œA lot.โ€

โ€œHow much is a lot?โ€

I think it through, counting the drinks on my fingers.

The ones I can remember, at least. โ€œSeven. Maybe eight.โ€

Marnie lets out a small cough to hide her surprise. โ€œAnd you donโ€™t think thatโ€™s too much?โ€

I bristle at her too-earnest tone. She sounds like my mother.

โ€œThis isnโ€™t about my drinking. You have to believe me.

Something about this situation isnโ€™t right.โ€

โ€œThat might be true.โ€ Marnieโ€™s voice remains annoyingly calm. Like someone talking to a kindergartener throwing a tantrum. โ€œIt still doesnโ€™t mean Tom Royce murdered his wife.โ€

โ€œI didnโ€™t say he did.โ€

โ€œBut thatโ€™s what you think, isnโ€™t it?โ€

Not quite, but close enough. While itโ€™s absolutely crossed my mind that Tom did something to hurt Katherine, Iโ€™m not yet ready to make the mental leap to murder.

โ€œBe honest,โ€ Marnie says. โ€œWhat do youย thinkย happened to her?โ€

โ€œIโ€™m not sure anything happened,โ€ I say. โ€œBut somethingโ€™s not right about the situation. Katherine was here, and suddenly sheโ€™s not. And Iโ€™m not sure her husband is telling the truth.โ€

โ€œOr he told you what heย believesย to be the truth.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t buy that. When I talked to him, he gave me a very simple explanation to something that, at least from what I saw, looked like a complex situation.โ€

โ€œWhat you saw?โ€ Marnie repeats, my words sounding undeniably stalker-y. โ€œIs this how you spend all your time? Watching them?โ€

โ€œOnly because I sensed trouble the minute I started watching.โ€

โ€œI wish you could hear yourself right now,โ€ Marnie says, her calm tone replaced by something even worse. Sadness. โ€œAdmitting that youโ€™re spying on your neighbors and talking about Tom Royce hiding somethingโ€”โ€

โ€œYouโ€™d think it, too, if you saw the things I have.โ€ โ€œThatโ€™s the point. You shouldnโ€™t be seeing it. None of

whatโ€™s going on in that house is any of your business.โ€

I canโ€™t argue with Marnie on that point. Itโ€™s true that I had no right watching them the way I have been. Yet, in doing so, if I stumbled upon a potentially dangerous situation, isnโ€™t it my responsibility to try to do something about it?

โ€œI just want to help Katherine,โ€ I say.

โ€œI know you do. But if Katherine Royce wanted your help, she would have asked for it,โ€ Marnie says.

โ€œI think she did. Late last night, when I saw them fighting.โ€

Marnie lets slip a sad little sigh. I ignore it.

โ€œOur eyes met. Just for a second. She was looking at me and I was looking at her. And I think, in that moment, she was trying to tell me something.โ€

Marnie sighs again, this one louder and sadder. โ€œI know youโ€™re going through a hard time right now. I know youโ€™re struggling. But please donโ€™t drag other people into it.โ€

โ€œLike you?โ€ I shoot back.

โ€œYes, like me. And Tom and Katherine Royce. And anyone else at the lake right now.โ€

Although Marnie sounds nothing but sympathetic, I know the deal. She, too, has officially grown tired of my bullshit. The only surprise, really, is that it took her this long. Unless I want to lose her completelyโ€”which I donโ€™tโ€”I canโ€™t push any further.

โ€œYouโ€™re right,โ€ I say, trying to sound appropriately contrite. โ€œIโ€™m sorry.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t need you to be sorry,โ€ she says. โ€œI need you to get better.โ€

Marnie ends the call before I can say anything elseโ€”an unspoken warning that, while all is forgiven, itโ€™s certainly not forgotten. And when it comes to Katherine and Tom Royce, Iโ€™ll need to leave her out of it.

Which is fine. Maybe sheโ€™s right and nothingโ€™s really going on except the unraveling of the Roycesโ€™ marriage. I sincerely hope thatโ€™s the worst of it. Unfortunately, my gut tells me itโ€™s not that simple.

I return to Katherineโ€™s Instagram and examine that picture of her apartment, thinking about Marnieโ€™s theory that she posted an old photo to deceive her husband. The idea makes sense, especially when I take another look at the view of Central Park outside the apartment window. The leaves there are still greenโ€”a far cry from the blazing reds and oranges of the trees surrounding Lake Greene.

I zoom in until the picture fills my phoneโ€™s screen. Scanning the grainy blur, I focus on the Mondrian calendar on the wall. There, printed right below an image of the artistโ€™s most famous workโ€”Composition with Red Blue and Yellowโ€”is the month it represents.

September.

Marnie was right. Katherine really did post an old photo. Faced with proof that sheโ€™s being deceitful, most likely to fool her husband, I realize I can stop worryingโ€” and, yes, obsessingโ€”over where Katherine is or what happened to her.

Itโ€™s none of my business. Itโ€™s time to accept that.

I swipe my phone, shrinking the photo down to its original size.

Thatโ€™s when I see it.

The teakettle on the stove, polished to a mirrorlike shine. It glistens so much that the photographer can be seen reflected in its surface.

Curious, I zoom in again, making the kettle as big as possible without entirely blowing out the image. Although the photographerโ€™s reflection is blurred by the amplification and distorted by the kettleโ€™s curve, I can still make out who it is.

Tom Royce.

Thereโ€™s no mistaking it. Dark hair, longish in the back, too much product in the front.

Katherine never took this photo.

Which means it was saved not on her phone but on her husbandโ€™s.

The only explanation I can think of is that Marnie was right about the deception, wrong about who is doing it and why.

Tom posted this photo on his wifeโ€™s Instagram account. And the person being deceived is me.

The hardest part about doingย Shred of Doubtย eight times a week was the first act, in which my character had to walk a fine line between being too

worried and not suspicious enough. I spent weeks of rehearsal trying to find the perfect balance between the two, and I never did get it completely right.

Until now.

Now Iโ€™m perched precisely between those two modes, wondering which one I should lean into. Itโ€™s easy now that Iโ€™m living it. No acting required.

I want to call Marnie for guidance, but I know what sheโ€™d say. That Katherine is fine. That I should leave it alone. That itโ€™s none of my business.

All of that might be true. And all of it could be dead wrong. I canโ€™t be sure until I have a better grasp on the situation. So itโ€™s back to social media I go, leaving Instagram behind and diving into Tom Royceโ€™s brainchild, Mixer.

First, I have to download the app to my phone and create a profile. Itโ€™s a brazenly invasive process requiring my full name, date of birth, cell phone number, and location, which is determined through geotracking. I make several attempts to do an end run around it, entering Manhattan as my location instead. The app changes it to Lake Greene every time.

And I thoughtย Iย was being nosy.

Only after my profile is created am I allowed to enter Mixer. I have to give Tom and his development team credit. Itโ€™s a well-designed app. Clean, good-looking, easy to use. Within seconds, I learn there are several ways to find contacts, including by company, by location, and by entering your favorite bars and restaurants and seeing who else has listed them.

I choose a location search, which lets me see every user within a one-mile radius. Right now, four other users are currently at Lake Greene, each one marked with a red triangle on a satellite view of the area.

The first is Tom Royce. No surprise there.

Eli and Boone Conrad also have profiles, which would be a surprise if I didnโ€™t suspect both joined as a courtesy to their neighbor. Like me, neither has filled out his profile beyond the required information. Eli hasnโ€™t listed any favorites or recently visited locations, and the only place on Booneโ€™s profile is a juice bar two towns away.

The real surprise is the fourth person listed as currently being at Lake Greene.

Katherine Royce.

I stare at the triangle pinpointing her location. Just on the other side of the lake.

Directly across from my own red triangle.

Seeing it sends my heart skittering. While I have no idea about the appโ€™s accuracy, I assume itโ€™s pretty good. Since I wasnโ€™t able to change my location despite multiple attempts, itโ€™s likely Katherine canโ€™t, either.

If thatโ€™s the case, it means she either left Lake Greene without taking her phoneโ€”or that she never left at all.

I stand, shove my phone in my pocket, and go inside, heading straight for the kitchen. There, I dig the binoculars

out of the trash, blow stray crumbs from my lunch off the lenses, and carry them out to the porch. Standing at the railing, I peer at the Roycesโ€™ glass house, wondering if Katherine is there after all. Itโ€™s impossible to tell. Although the sun is close to slipping behind the mountains on that side of the lake, the shimmering reflection of the water masks whatever might be going on inside.

Still, I scan the areas where I know each room to be located, hoping a light on inside will improve my view. Thereโ€™s nothing. Everything beyond the dim windows is invisible.

Next, I examine the houseโ€™s surroundings, starting with the side facing Eliโ€™s place before leading my gaze across the back patio, down to the dock, and then to the side facing the Fitzgeraldsโ€™ house. Nothing to see there, either. Not even Tomโ€™s sleek Bentley.

Once again, I realize Iโ€™m currently watching the Royce house with a pair of binoculars powerful enough to view craters on the moon. Itโ€™s extreme.

And obsessive.

And just plain weird.

I lower the binoculars, flushed with shame that maybe Iโ€™m being ridiculous about all of this. Marnie would tell me thereโ€™s no maybe about it. Iโ€™d feel the same way if it werenโ€™t for the one thing that put me on edge in the first place.

The scream.

Without it, I wouldnโ€™t be this worried.

Even if it was just my imagination, I canโ€™t stop thinking about it.

I slump in the rocking chair, imitating the ache-inducing condition I woke up in. Eyes closed tight, I try to recall the exact sound I heard, hoping it will spark some revelation of

memory. Although I bristled when she mentioned it, Marnie was right to say I drank too much last night. I did, with good reason, just like every night. But in my drunken stupor, itโ€™s entirely possible I imagined that scream. After all, if Eli didnโ€™t hear it and Tom didnโ€™t hear it, then it stands to reason I didnโ€™t really hear it, either.

Then again, just because no one else claims to have heard it doesnโ€™t mean it didnโ€™t happen. When a tree falls in a forest, to use that hoary clichรฉ, it still makes a sound. And as Mixer reminds me when I check my phone for the umpteenth time, thereโ€™s another person on this lake who I havenโ€™t yet asked. I can see his little red triangle on my screen right now, located a few hundred yards from my own.

Yes, I know I promised Eli that I would stay away from him. But sometimes, such as now, a promise needs to be broken.

Especially when Boone Conrad might have the answer to whatโ€™s currently my most pressing question.

I stand, put away my phone, and hop down the porch steps. Rather than go to the front of the house and make the trek from driveway to driveway, I choose the same path Boone used the other day and cut through the woods between us. Itโ€™s a pretty route, especially with the setting sun casting its golden shine on this side of the lake. Itโ€™s so bright I have to squint as I walk. A welcome feeling that reminds me of being onstage, caught in the spotlight, warmed by its glow.

I loved that sensation. I miss it.

If Marnie were here, sheโ€™d tell me itโ€™s only a matter of time before Iโ€™m back treading the boards. I sincerely doubt it.

Up ahead, visible through the thinning trees, sits the hulking A-frame of the Mitchell house. Like the Roycesโ€™, it has large windows overlooking the lake, which now reflects the flaming hues of the sunset. That, coupled with the houseโ€™s shape, reminds me of a childโ€™s drawing of a campfire. An orange triangle sitting atop a stack of wood.

As I push through the tree line into the Mitchellsโ€™ small, leaf-studded yard, I spot Boone on the back deck. Dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt, he stands facing the lake, a hand shielding his eyes from the setting sun. Immediately, I understand that he, too, is watching the Royce house.

Boone seems to know why Iโ€™m here, because when he sees me crossing the lawn, a strange look passes over his face. One part confusion, two parts concern, with just a dash of relief for good measure.

โ€œYou heard it, too, didnโ€™t you?โ€ he says before I can get a word out.

โ€œHeard what?โ€

โ€œThe scream.โ€ He turns his head until heโ€™s once again facing the Royce house. โ€œFrom over there.โ€

Have you seen anything else?โ€ Boone says. โ€œOnly what I already told you.โ€

The two of us are on the back porch of my familyโ€™s lake house, me watching Boone watch the Royce house through the binoculars. Heโ€™s at the porch railing, leaning so far forward I worry heโ€™ll break right through it and tumble to the ground below. Heโ€™s certainly big enough, which I realized only when we were standing face-to-face. Because I was above him during our first meeting, I couldnโ€™t quite tell how tall he is. Now I know. So tall he towers over me as I stand next to him.

โ€œYou told me youโ€™ve been here since August,โ€ I say. โ€œDid you ever meet Tom and Katherine?โ€

โ€œOnce or twice. I donโ€™t know them very well.โ€ โ€œDid you notice anything strange about them?โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ Boone says. โ€œThen again, I wasnโ€™t watching them through these.โ€

He pulls the binoculars away from his eyes long enough to give me a grin, telling me heโ€™s joking. But I detect a hint of judgment in the remark, suggesting heโ€™s not totally okay with what Iโ€™ve been doing.

Iโ€™m not, either, now that Iโ€™m a foot away from the man I spied on while he was naked. At no point has Boone voiced suspicion that I had watched him skinny-dip the other night. In turn, I give no hints that I was indeed watching. It makes for an awkward silence in which I wonder if heโ€™s thinking that Iโ€™m thinking about it.

On the other side of the lake, the Royce house remains dark, even though the cottony grayness of dusk has descended. Tom still hasnโ€™t returned, as evidenced by the empty space under the portico where his Bentley should be.

โ€œDo you think heโ€™s going to come back?โ€ I say. โ€œOr did he get the hell out of Dodge?โ€

Boone returns to the binoculars. โ€œI think heโ€™ll be back. Thereโ€™s still furniture on the patio. If he was leaving for the winter, he would have taken all of it inside.โ€

โ€œUnless he had to leave in a hurry.โ€

Boone hands me the binoculars and lowers himself into a rocking chair, which creaks under his weight. โ€œIโ€™m not ready to think the worst.โ€

I felt the same way an hour ago, when I wasnโ€™t sure the scream was real and there were logical reasons as to why Katherine wasnโ€™t where Tom says she was. Now that Boone has confirmed what I heard and Katherineโ€™s Mixer location marker remains parked at her house while her husbandโ€™s has long disappeared, Iโ€™m ready to let my suspicions run free.

โ€œWhere were you when you heard the scream?โ€ I ask Boone.

โ€œIn the kitchen, making coffee.โ€

โ€œAre you always such an early riser?โ€

โ€œMore like a very light sleeper.โ€ Boone shrugs, and in that sad little lift of his broad shoulders, I sense a weary acceptance common among people haunted by something.ย It sucks, it seems to say,ย but what can you do?ย โ€œThe door to the deck was open. I like to hear the birds on the lake.โ€

โ€œBecause itโ€™s too quiet otherwise.โ€

โ€œExactly,โ€ Boone says, pleased I remember something from our first conversation. โ€œI was just about to pour the

coffee when I heard it. It sounded to me like it came from the other side of the lake.โ€

โ€œHow could you tell?โ€

โ€œBecause it would have sounded different on this side. Louder. I knew as soon as I heard it that it came from over there.โ€ Boone points to the opposite shore, his finger landing between Eliโ€™s house and the Roycesโ€™. โ€œThere was just enough distance for me to catch the echo.โ€

โ€œDid you see anything?โ€ I say.

Boone shakes his head. โ€œI went out to look, but there was nothing to see. The lake was calm. The far shore appeared to be empty. It was like any typical morning out here.โ€

โ€œOnly with a scream,โ€ I say. โ€œYou agree with me that it sounded like a woman, right?โ€

โ€œEven more, I agree that it sounded like Katherine Royce.โ€

I leave the railing and drop into the rocking chair next to Boone. โ€œDo you think we should call the police?โ€

โ€œAnd tell them what?โ€

โ€œThat our neighbor is missing and weโ€™re worried about her.โ€

On the table between us sit two glasses of ginger ale. Not my first choice of drink, but I would have felt bad nursing a bourbon in front of Boone. The ginger ale, which has been sitting in the fridge since the last time I stayed here, is flat as a map. Boone doesnโ€™t seem to mind as he takes a sip and says, โ€œWe donโ€™t want to do that just yet. First of all, we donโ€™t know that Katherine is definitely missing. If we go to the police, the first thing theyโ€™re going to do is talk to Tomโ€”โ€

โ€œWho might be the reason Katherine is missing.โ€

โ€œMaybe,โ€ Boone says. โ€œMaybe not. But when the police talk to him, heโ€™ll likely tell them the same thing he told you and point to that Instagram post you showed me to prove it. That will make the cops back off. Not forever. Especially not if more people who know Katherine come forward to say they havenโ€™t heard from her. But long enough to give Tom ample time to run.โ€

I glance to the far side of the lake and the empty spot where Tomโ€™s car used to be parked. โ€œIf he hasnโ€™t already started running.โ€

Boone lets out a grunt of agreement. โ€œAnd thatโ€™s the big unknown right now. I think we should wait and see if he returns.โ€

โ€œAnd if he doesnโ€™t?โ€

โ€œI know someone we can call. Sheโ€™s a detective with the state police, which is whoโ€™ll be investigating it anyway. If there even is something to investigate. Weโ€™ll tell her what the deal is and get her opinion. Right now, itโ€™s best to be as discreet as possible. Trust me, Casey, we donโ€™t want to make an accusation, get police and rescue involved, and then find out we were wrong the whole time. Cops frown upon that kind of thing.โ€

โ€œHow do you know so much about cops?โ€ โ€œI used to be one.โ€

Iโ€™m caught by surprise, even though I shouldnโ€™t be. Boone possesses a familiar kind-but-weary cop flintiness. And muscles. Lots of muscles. I donโ€™t ask why he stopped being a cop and he doesnโ€™t elaborate. Knowing that heโ€™s now in AA, I can connect the dots myself.

โ€œThen weโ€™ll wait,โ€ I say.

Which we do, sitting in relative silence as nightfall covers the valley.

โ€œDonโ€™t you wish Iโ€™d brought my Monopoly board?โ€ Boone says when the clock strikes seven.

โ€œIs it rude to say no?โ€

Boone lets out a rueful chuckle. โ€œVery. But your honesty is refreshing.โ€

At seven thirty, after hearing Booneโ€™s stomach rumble one time too many, I head inside and make us sandwiches. My hands tremble as I spread mayonnaise on the bread. Withdrawal shakes. My body wants to be drinking wine right now and not fizzless ginger ale. I glance at the liquor cabinet in the adjoining dining room, and my body seizes up with longing. A tightness forms in my chestโ€”an internal itch thatโ€™s driving me crazy because it canโ€™t be scratched. I take a deep breath, finish the sandwiches, and carry them outside.

On the porch, Boone has the binoculars in hand again, even though no lights can be seen inside Tom and Katherineโ€™s place. The house wouldnโ€™t be visible at all if not for the moonlight shimmering over the lake.

โ€œDid he come back?โ€ I say.

โ€œNot yet.โ€ Boone sets the binoculars down and accepts the paper plate filled with turkey on white bread and a side of potato chips. Not my finest culinary moment. โ€œI was just admiring how good these things are.โ€

โ€œMy husband bought them. For birding.โ€

Booneโ€™s voice grows hushed. โ€œIโ€™m sorry about what happened to him, by the way. I should have told you that the other day.โ€

โ€œAnd I heard about your wife.โ€ โ€œI guess Eli told you.โ€

โ€œHe did. Iโ€™m sorry you had to go through that.โ€

โ€œLikewise.โ€ He pauses before adding, โ€œIโ€™m here, if you ever want to talk about it.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t.โ€

Boone nods. โ€œI get that. I didnโ€™t, either. Not for a long time. But one of the things Iโ€™ve learned in the past year is that it helps to talk about things. Makes it easier to deal with.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ll keep that in mind.โ€

โ€œShe fell down the stairs.โ€ Boone pauses, letting the information settle in. โ€œThatโ€™s how my wife died. In case you were wondering.โ€

I was, but I didnโ€™t have the courage to ask outright. Despite my current habit of spying on my neighbors, I mostly still have respect for othersโ€™ privacy. But Boone seems to be in the mood to divulge information, so I nod and let him continue.

โ€œNo one quite knows how it happened. I was at work. Got home from my shift, walked in the door, and found her crumpled at the bottom of the stairs. I did all the things youโ€™re supposed to do. Call nine one one. Try CPR. But I knew as soon as I saw her that she was gone. The ME said she had been dead for most of the day. It must have happened right after I left for work. She either tripped or lost her balance. A freak accident.โ€ Boone pauses to look at the food on his plate, still untouched. โ€œSometimes I think itโ€™s the suddenness of it that makes it hard to deal with. She was there one minute, gone the next. And I never got to say goodbye. She simply vanished. Like in that TV show.โ€ โ€œThe Leftovers,โ€ I say, not bothering to mention I had

been offered a part on the show but turned it down because I found the subject matter too depressing.

โ€œRight. Thatโ€™s the one. When itโ€™s so sudden like that, it makes you regret all those times you took for granted. I canโ€™t remember the last thing I said to her, and that kills me. Sometimes, even now, I stay awake at night trying to

think of what it was and hoping it was something nice.โ€ Boone looks up at me. โ€œDo you remember the last thing you said to your husband?โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ I say.

I put my plate down, excuse myself, and go inside. Seconds later, Iโ€™m in the dining room, kneeling at the liquor cabinet, a bottle of bourbon gripped in my fist. As my final words to Len storm through my headโ€”unforgettable no matter how much I tryโ€”I tip the bottle back and swallow several blessed gulps.

There.

Thatโ€™s much better.

Back outside, I see that Booneโ€™s taken a few bites from his sandwich. That makes one of us who feels like eating.

โ€œIโ€™m not really hungry,โ€ I say, wondering if he can smell the bourbon on my breath. โ€œIf you want, you can have the rest of mine.โ€

Boone starts to reply but stops when something on the other side of the lake catches his attention. I look where heโ€™s looking and see a pair of headlights pulling into the driveway of the Royce house.

Tom has returned.

I reach for the binoculars and watch him bring the Bentley to a stop beneath the portico on the side of the house before cutting the headlights. He gets out of the car, carrying a large plastic bag from the only hardware store in a fifteen-mile radius.

Boone taps my shoulder. โ€œLet me look.โ€

I hand him the binoculars, and he peers through them as Tom enters the house. On the first floor, the kitchen lights flick on. Theyโ€™re soon followed by the dining room lights as Tom makes his way deeper into the house.

โ€œWhatโ€™s he doing?โ€ I ask Boone.

โ€œOpening the bag.โ€ โ€œWhatโ€™s in it?โ€

Boone sighs, getting annoyed. โ€œI donโ€™t know yet.โ€

That ignorance lasts only a second longer before Boone lets out a low whistle. Handing the binoculars back to me, he says, โ€œYou need to see this.โ€

I lift the binoculars to my eyes and see Tom Royce standing at the dining room table. Spread out before him is everything he bought from the hardware store.

A plastic tarp folded into a tidy rectangle. A coil of rope.

And a hacksaw with teeth so sharp they glint in the light of the dining room.

โ€œI think,โ€ Boone says, โ€œit might be time to call my detective friend.โ€

Detective Wilma Anson isnโ€™t even close to what I expected. In my mind, I pictured someone similar to the detective I played in a three-episode arc of

Law & Order: SVU. Tough. No-nonsense. Dressed in the same type of function-over-style pantsuit my character wore. The woman at my door, however, wears purple yoga pants, a bulky sweatshirt, and a pink headband taming her black curls. A yellow scrunchie circles her right wrist. Wilma catches me looking at it as I shake her hand and says, โ€œItโ€™s my daughterโ€™s. Sheโ€™s at karate class right now. I have exactly twenty minutes until I need to go pick her up.โ€ At least the no-nonsense part meets my expectations.

Wilmaโ€™s demeanor is softer to Boone, but only by a degree. She manages a quick hug before spotting the liquor cabinet two rooms away.

โ€œYou okay with that around?โ€ she asks him. โ€œIโ€™m fine, Wilma.โ€

โ€œYou sure?โ€ โ€œCertain.โ€

โ€œI believe you,โ€ Wilma says. โ€œBut you better call me if you so much as think of touching one of those bottles.โ€

In that moment, I get a glimpse of their relationship. Former colleagues, most likely, who know each otherโ€™s strengths and weaknesses. Heโ€™s an alcoholic. Sheโ€™s support. And Iโ€™m just the bad influence thrown into the mix because of something suspicious taking place on the other side of the lake.

โ€œShow me the house,โ€ Wilma says.

Boone and I lead her to the porch, where she stands at the railing and takes in the dark sky and even darker lake with curious appraisal. Directly across from us, the Royce house has lights on in the kitchen and master bedroom, but from this distance and without the binoculars, itโ€™s impossible to pinpoint Tomโ€™s location inside.

Wilma gestures to the house and says, โ€œThatโ€™s where your friend lives?โ€

โ€œYes,โ€ I say. โ€œTom and Katherine Royce.โ€

โ€œI know who the Royces are,โ€ Wilma says. โ€œJust like I know who you are.โ€

From her tone, I gather Wilmaโ€™s seen the terrible-but- true tabloid headlines about me. Itโ€™s also clear she disapproves.

โ€œTell me why you think Mrs. Royce is in danger.โ€

I pause, unsure just where to begin, even though I should have known the question was coming. Of course a police detective is going to ask me why I think my neighbor did something to his missing wife. I become aware of Wilma Ansonโ€™s stare. Annoyance clouds her features, and I worry sheโ€™ll just up and leave if I donโ€™t say something in the next two seconds.

โ€œWe heard a scream this morning,โ€ Boone says, coming to my rescue. โ€œA womanโ€™s scream. It came from their side of the lake.โ€

โ€œAnd I saw things,โ€ I add. โ€œWorrisome things.โ€ โ€œAt their house?โ€

โ€œYes.โ€

โ€œHow often are you there?โ€

โ€œI havenโ€™t been inside since they bought the place.โ€

Wilma turns back to the lake. Squinting, she says, โ€œYou noticed worrisome things all the way from over here?โ€

I nod to the binoculars sitting on the table between the rocking chairs, like they have been for days. Wilma, looking back and forth between me and the table, says, โ€œI see. May I borrow these?โ€

โ€œKnock yourself out.โ€

The detective lifts the binoculars to her eyes, fiddles with the focus, scans the lakeโ€™s opposite shore. When she lowers the binoculars, itโ€™s to give me a stern look.

โ€œThere are laws against spying on people, you know.โ€ โ€œI wasnโ€™t spying,โ€ I say. โ€œI was observing. Casually.โ€

โ€œRight,โ€ Wilma says, not even bothering to pretend she thinks Iโ€™m telling the truth. โ€œHow well do each of you know them?โ€

โ€œNot well,โ€ Boone says. โ€œI met them a couple of times out and about on the lake.โ€

โ€œI only met Tom Royce twice,โ€ I say. โ€œBut Katherine and I have crossed paths a few times. Sheโ€™s been over here twice, and we talked after I saved her from drowning in the lake.โ€

I know itโ€™s wrong, but Iโ€™m pleased that last part of my sentence seems to surprise the otherwise unflappable Wilma Anson. โ€œWhen was this?โ€ she says.

โ€œDay before yesterday,โ€ I say, although it feels longer than that. Time seems to have stretched since I returned to the lake, fueled by drunken days and endless, sleepless nights.

โ€œThis incident in the lakeโ€”do you have any reason to believe her husband had something to do with it?โ€

โ€œNone. Katherine told me she was swimming, the water was too cold, and she cramped up.โ€

โ€œWhen you talked to her, did Katherine ever give any indication she thought her husband was trying to do her harm? Did she say she was scared?โ€

โ€œShe hinted that she was unhappy.โ€

Wilma stops me with a raised hand. โ€œThatโ€™s different than fear.โ€

โ€œShe also told me there were financial issues. She said she pays for everything and that Tom would never agree to a divorce because he needed her money too much. She told me heโ€™d probably kill her before letting her leave.โ€

โ€œDo you think she was being serious?โ€ Wilma asks. โ€œNot really. At the time, I thought it was a joke.โ€ โ€œWouldย youย joke about a thing like that?โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ Boone says. โ€œYes,โ€ I say.

Wilma brings the binoculars to her eyes again, and I can tell sheโ€™s zeroed in on the lit windows of the Royce house. โ€œHave you seen anything suspicious inside? You know, while casually observing?โ€

โ€œI saw them fighting. Late last night. He grabbed her by the arm and she hit him.โ€

โ€œThen maybe itโ€™s for the best that theyโ€™re currently apart,โ€ Wilma says.

โ€œI agree,โ€ I say. โ€œBut the big question is where Katherine went. Her husband says sheโ€™s back at their apartment. I called a friend in the city, who went there and checked. The doorman said she hasnโ€™t been there for days. One of them is lying, and I donโ€™t think itโ€™s the doorman.โ€

โ€œOr maybe itโ€™s your friend who lied,โ€ Wilma says. โ€œMaybe she didnโ€™t talk to the doorman at all.โ€

I shake my head. Marnie wouldnโ€™t do that, no matter how fed up she is with me.

โ€œThereโ€™s also this.โ€ I show Wilma my phone, Instagram already open and visible. โ€œKatherine allegedly posted this from their apartment today. But this picture wasnโ€™t taken

today. Look at the leaves in the trees and the calendar on the wall. This was likely taken weeks ago.โ€

โ€œJust because someone posts an old photo doesnโ€™t mean theyโ€™re not where they say they are,โ€ Wilma says.

โ€œYouโ€™re right. But Katherine didnโ€™t even take that picture. Her husband did. If you look closely, you can see his reflection in the teakettle.โ€

I let Wilma peer at the picture a moment before switching from Instagram to Mixer. I point to Katherineโ€™s red triangle, nestled right next to the one belonging to her husband. โ€œWhy would Katherine post an old photo she didnโ€™t even take? Especially when, according to the location-tracking software on her husbandโ€™s app, her phone is still inside that house.โ€

Wilma takes my phone and studies the map dotted with red triangles. โ€œThis is like a thousand privacy invasions in one.โ€

โ€œProbably,โ€ I say. โ€œBut donโ€™t you think itโ€™s weird Katherine would leave and not take her phone?โ€

โ€œWeird, yes. Unheard of, no. It doesnโ€™t mean Tom Royce did something to his wife.โ€

โ€œBut heโ€™s covering up where she is!โ€ I realize my voice is a bit too loud, a tad too emphatic. Faced with Wilmaโ€™s skepticism, Iโ€™ve become the impatient one. It also doesnโ€™t help that I snuck two more gulps of bourbon while Boone used the powder room before Wilma arrived. โ€œIf Katherineโ€™s not here, but her phone is, that means Tom posted that photo, most likely trying to make people think Katherine is someplace sheโ€™s not.โ€

โ€œHe also bought rope, a tarp, and a hacksaw,โ€ Boone adds.

โ€œThatโ€™s not illegal,โ€ Wilma says.

โ€œBut itย isย suspicious if your wife has suddenly disappeared,โ€ I say.

โ€œNot if she left of her own accord after getting into a heated argument with her husband.โ€

I give Wilma a curious look. โ€œAre you married, Detective?โ€

โ€œSeventeen years strong.โ€

โ€œAnd have you ever gotten into a heated argument with your husband?โ€

โ€œToo many to count,โ€ she says. โ€œHeโ€™s as stubborn as a mule.โ€

โ€œAfter those arguments, have you ever gone out and bought things you could use to hide his body?โ€

Wilma pushes off the railing and drifts to the rocking chairs, handing me the binoculars in the process. She sits, twisting the scrunchie around her wrist in a compulsive way that makes me think it doesnโ€™t belong to her daughter at all.

โ€œYou seriously think Tom Royce is over there right now chopping up his wife?โ€ she says.

โ€œMaybe,โ€ I say, slightly horrified that not only am I thinking it, but I now consider it a more likely scenario than Katherine running away after an argument with her husband.

Wilma sighs. โ€œIโ€™m not sure what you want me to do here.โ€

โ€œConfirm that Tom Royce is lying,โ€ I say. โ€œItโ€™s not that simple.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re with the state police. Canโ€™t you trace Katherineโ€™s phone to check and see if sheโ€™s called someone today? Or look at her bank and credit card records?โ€

Impatience thins Wilmaโ€™s voice as she says, โ€œWe could do all of those thingsโ€”if Katherine is reported missing to

the local authorities. But Iโ€™m going to be straight with you here, if you do it, theyโ€™re not going to believe you. People are usually reported missing by someone closer to them. Like a spouse. Unless Katherine has other family members you might know about who are also worried about her.โ€

Boone looks to me and shakes his head, confirming that both of us are clueless about Katherineโ€™s next of kin.

โ€œThatโ€™s what I thought,โ€ Wilma says.

โ€œI guess searching the house is out of the question,โ€ I say.

โ€œIt most definitely is,โ€ Wilma says. โ€œWeโ€™d need a warrant, and to get that weโ€™d need a clear indication of foul play, which doesnโ€™t exist. Tom Royce buying rope and a hacksaw isnโ€™t the smoking gun you think it is.โ€

โ€œBut what about the scream?โ€ Boone says. โ€œBoth of us heard it.โ€

โ€œHave you considered that maybe Katherine had an accident?โ€ Wilma looks to me. โ€œYou told me she almost drowned the other day. Maybe it happened again.โ€

โ€œThen why hasnโ€™t Tom reported it yet?โ€ I say.

โ€œWhen your husband went missing, why didnโ€™t you report it?โ€

I had assumed Wilma knew all about that. She might even have been one of the cops I talked to afterwards, although I have no memory of her. What Iย doย know is that, by bringing it up now, she can be a stone-cold bitch when she wants to be.

โ€œHis body was found before I got the chance,โ€ I say through a jaw so clenched my teeth ache. โ€œBecause people immediately went looking for him. Unlike Tom Royce. Which makes me think heโ€™s not concerned about Katherine because he knows where she is and what happened to her.โ€

Wilma holds my gaze, and the look in her large hazel eyes is both apologetic and admiring. I think I earned her respect. And, possibly, her trust, because she breaks eye contact and says, โ€œThatโ€™s a valid point.โ€

โ€œDamn right it is,โ€ I say.

This earns me another look from Wilma, although this time her eyes seem to say,ย Letโ€™s not get too cocky.

โ€œHereโ€™s what Iโ€™m going to do.โ€ She stands, stretches, gives the scrunchie on her wrist one last twirl. โ€œIโ€™ll do a little digging and see if anyone else has heard from Katherine. Hopefully someone has and this is all just a big misunderstanding.โ€

โ€œWhat should we do?โ€ I say.

โ€œNothing. Thatโ€™s what you should do. Just sit tight and wait to hear from me.โ€ Wilma starts to leave the porch, gesturing to the binoculars as she goes. โ€œAnd for Godโ€™s sake, stop spying on your neighbors. Go watch TV or something.

After Wilma leaves, taking Boone with her, I try to follow the detectiveโ€™s advice and watch TV. In the den, sitting in the shadow of the moose head on the

wall, I watch the Weather Channel map the stormโ€™s progress. Trish, despite no longer being a hurricane, is still wreaking havoc in the Northeast. Right now, sheโ€™s over Pennsylvania and about to bring her strong winds and record rains into New York.

Vermont is next.

The day after tomorrow.

Yet another thing to worry about.

I change the channel and am confronted by an unexpected sight.

Me.

Seventeen years ago.

Strolling across a college campus strewn with autumn leaves and casting sly glances at the blindingly handsome guy next to me.

My film debut.

The movie was a vaguely autobiographical dramedy about a Harvard senior figuring out what he wants to do with his life. I played a sassy co-ed who makes him consider leaving his long-term girlfriend. The role was small but meaty, and refreshingly free of any scheming bad-girl clichรฉs. My character was presented as simply an appealing alternative the hero could choose.

Watching the movie for the first time in more than a decade, I remember everything about making it with dizzying clarity. How intimidated I was by the logistics of shooting on location. How nervous I was about hitting my marks, remembering my lines, accidentally looking directly into the camera. How, when the director first called action, I completely froze, forcing him to pull me aside and gently

โ€”so gentlyโ€”say, โ€œBe yourself.โ€ Thatโ€™s what I did.

Or what I thought I did. Watching the performance now, though, I know I must have been acting, even if it didnโ€™t feel like it at the time. In real life, Iโ€™ve never been that charming, that bold, thatย vivid.

Unable to watch my younger self a second longer, I turn off the TV. Reflected in the dark screen is present meโ€”a jarring transformation. So far removed from the vibrant young thing Iโ€™d just been watching that we might as well be strangers.

Be yourself.

I donโ€™t even know who that is anymore. Iโ€™m not sure Iโ€™d like her if I did.

Leaving the den, I go to the kitchen and pour myself a bourbon. A double, to make up for what I missed while Boone was here. I take it out to the porch, where I rock and drink and watch the house on the other side of the water like Iโ€™m Jay Gatsby pining for Daisy Buchanan. In my case, thereโ€™s no green light at the end of the dock. Thereโ€™s no light at all, in fact. The windows were dark by the time I returned to the porch, although a quick look through the binoculars at Tomโ€™s Bentley tells me heโ€™s still there.

I keep watching, hoping heโ€™ll turn on a light somewhere and provide a clearer idea of what he might be up to. Thatโ€™s what Wilma wants, after all. Something solid onto which we

can pin our suspicions. Even though I want that, too, I get queasy thinking about what, exactly, that something solid would be. Blood dripping from Tomโ€™s newly purchased hacksaw? Katherineโ€™s body washed ashore like Lenโ€™s?

There I go again, thinking Katherine is dead. I hate that my mind keeps veering in that direction. Iโ€™d prefer to be like Wilma, certain thereโ€™s a logical explanation behind all of it and that everything will turn out right in the end. My brain just doesnโ€™t work that way. Because if what happened with Len has taught me anything, itโ€™s to expect the worst.

I take another sip of bourbon and bring the binoculars to my eyes. Instead of focusing on the still frustratingly dark Royce house, I scan the area in general, taking in the dense forests, the rocky slope of mountain behind them, the jagged shore on the far edges of the lake.

So many places to hide unwanted things. So many ways to vanish.

And donโ€™t even get me started on the lake. When we were kids, Marnie would tease me about the depth of Lake Greene, especially when we were both neck-deep in the water, my toes straining to keep a little contact with the lake bed.

โ€œThe lake is darker than a coffin with the lid closed,โ€ sheโ€™d say. โ€œAnd as deep as the ocean. If you sink under, youโ€™ll never come back up. Youโ€™ll be trapped forever.โ€ While thatโ€™s not entirely trueโ€”Lenโ€™s fate proved thatโ€”itโ€™s easy to imagine parts of Lake Greene so deep that something could be lost there forever.

Even a person.

That thought takes more than a gulp of bourbon to shake off. It requires the whole damn glass, downed in heavy swallows. I get up, wobbling into the kitchen for another double before heading back to my spot on the porch. With a decent buzz now, I canโ€™t stop wondering: if Katherine really is dead, why would Tom do something like that?

I suspect money.

That was the motive in Shred of Doubt. The character I played inherited a fortune; her husband came from nothingโ€”and he wanted what she had. Snippets of Katherineโ€™s words float through my bourbon-soaked mind.

I pay for everything.

Tom needs me too much to agree to a divorce. Heโ€™d kill me before letting me leave.

I head inside, grab my laptop from the charging station in the den, say hi to the moose head, and go upstairs. Snuggled in bed under a quilt, I fire up the laptop and Google Tom Royce, hoping itโ€™ll bring up information incriminating enough to persuade Wilma that something is amiss.

One of the first things I see is aย Bloomberg Businessweekย article from last month reporting that Mixer has been courting venture capital firms, seeking a cash influx of thirty million dollars to keep things afloat. Based on what Katherine told me about the appโ€™s lack of profitability, Iโ€™m not surprised.

โ€œWeโ€™re not desperate,โ€ the article quotes Tom as saying. โ€œMixer continues to perform above even our loftiest expectations. To take it to the next level as quickly and as efficiently as possible, we need a like-minded partner.โ€

Translation: Heโ€™s absolutely desperate.

The lack of a follow-up article suggests Tom hasnโ€™t yet been able to lure any investors with deep pockets. Maybe thatโ€™s because, as I read in a separateย Forbesย piece on

popular apps, Mixer is reportedly losing members while most others are steadily gaining them.

More words from Katherine nudge into my thoughts.

All of Tomโ€™s money is tied up in Mixer, which still hasnโ€™t turned a profit and probably never will.

I decide to switch gears. Instead of looking for information about Tom, I do a search of Katherine Royceโ€™s net worth. Turns out itโ€™s surprisingly easy. There are entire websites devoted to listing how much celebrities make. According to one of them, Katherineโ€™s net worth is thirty- five million dollars. More than enough to meet Mixerโ€™s needs.

That word lodges itself in my skull.

Need.

Contrary to Tomโ€™s quote, the word smacks of desperation.ย Wantย implies a desire that, if not met, wonโ€™t change things too much in the long run.ย Needย implies something necessary to survive.

We need a like-minded partner.

Tom needs me too much to agree to a divorce. Heโ€™d kill me before letting me leave.

Perhaps Katherine was being completely serious when she said that. She even might have been hinting.

That Tom was planning something.

That she knew she might be in danger.

That she wanted someone else to know it, too. Just in case.

I close the laptop, half sick from worry and half sick from too much bourbon downed way too quickly. When the room begins to spin, I assume either one of those things is to blame. Probably both.

The room continues to rotate, like a carousel steadily gaining speed. I close my eyes to make it stop and collapse

onto my pillow. A dark numbness envelopes me, and Iโ€™m not sure if Iโ€™m falling asleep or passing out. As I plummet into unconsciousness, Iโ€™m greeted with a dream of Katherine Royce.

Instead of the Katherine I met in real life, Dream Katherine looks the same way she did in that Times Square billboard all those years ago.

Begowned and bejeweled. Shoes kicked off.

Running through the dewy grass, trying desperately to escape the man she was going to marry.

Katherine is still sprinting through my dreams when I awake sometime after three a.m., slightly confused by, well, everything. All the bedroom

lights are on and Iโ€™m still fully dressed, sneakers and jacket included. The laptop sits on the side of the bed that used to be Lenโ€™s, reminding me that Iโ€™d been drunk Googling earlier.

I slide out of bed and change into pajamas before heading to the bathroom. There I pee, brush my teeth, which had grown filmy, and gargle with mouthwash to clear away my bourbon breath. Back in the bedroom, Iโ€™m switching off all the lamps I had left on when I spot something through the tall windows that overlook the lake.

A light on the opposite shore.

Not at the Royce house but in the copse of trees to the left of it, near the waterโ€™s edge.

From where Iโ€™m standing, I donโ€™t need the binoculars to know itโ€™s the beam of a flashlight bobbing through the trees. The big unknown is whoโ€™s carrying that flashlight and why theyโ€™re roaming the lakeside at this hour.

I rush out of the bedroom and down the hallway, passing empty bedrooms along the way, their doors open and their beds neatly made, as if waiting for others to arrive. But thereโ€™s only me, all alone in this big, dark house, now descending the stairs to the main floor and heading to the porch where I spend most of my time. Once outside, I grab the binoculars.

It turns out Iโ€™m too late. The light is gone.

Everything is dark once more.

But as I return inside and head back upstairs, I suspect I already know who it was and why he was out so late.

Tom Royce.

Putting the rope, tarp, and saw heโ€™d purchased earlier in the day to good use.

I wake again at eight, dry-mouthed and nauseated. Nothing new there. Whatย isย new is a gut punch of unease about Katherineโ€™s fate, summed up by the

thoughts that hit me as soon as I gain consciousness.

Sheโ€™s dead.

Tom killed her.

And now sheโ€™s either in the ground somewhere on the other side of the lake or in the water itself, sunk so deep she may never be found.

This leaves me so rattled my legs tremble when I go downstairs to the kitchen and my hands shake as I pour a cup of coffee. While drinking it, I use my phone to confirm that, no, Katherine hasnโ€™t posted another photo to Instagram since yesterday and, yes, her location on Mixer remains directly across the lake from me.

Neither of those is a good sign.

Later, after forcing down a bowl of oatmeal and taking a shower, Iโ€™m back on the porch with my phone, in case Wilma Anson calls, and the binoculars, in case Tom Royce makes an appearance. For an hour, both go unused. When my phone does eventually ring, Iโ€™m disappointed to hear not Wilmaโ€™s voice, but my motherโ€™s.

โ€œI talked to Marnie and Iโ€™m concerned,โ€ she says, cutting right to the chase.

โ€œConcerned that I talk to her more than I talk to you?โ€

โ€œConcerned that youโ€™ve been spying on your neighbors and now seem to think your new model friend was

murdered by her husband.โ€

Goddamn Marnie. Her betrayal feels as pointed and painful as a bee sting. Whatโ€™s worse is knowing itโ€™ll get even more irritating now that my mother is involved.

โ€œThis has nothing to do with you,โ€ I tell her. โ€œOr Marnie, for that matter. Please just leave me alone.โ€

My mother gives a haughty sniff. โ€œSince you havenโ€™t denied it yet, I assume itโ€™s true.โ€

There are two ways to play this. One is to issue the denial my mother so desperately craves. Just like my drinking, sheโ€™ll be doubtful but will eventually fool herself into thinking itโ€™s true because itโ€™s easier that way. The other is to simply admit it in the hope she gets as exasperated as Marnie did and leaves me alone.

I go with the latter.

โ€œYes, Iโ€™m worried the man across the lake murdered his wife.โ€

โ€œJesus, Casey. What has gotten into you?โ€

She shouldnโ€™t sound so scandalized. Banishing me to the lake house was her idea. Of all people, my own mother should have realized Iโ€™d get up to no good after being left alone here to my own devices. Though in my mind, finding out what happened to Katherine is a good thing.

โ€œSheโ€™s missing and I want to help her.โ€ โ€œIโ€™m sure everythingโ€™s fine.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s not,โ€ I snap. โ€œSomething very wrong is going on here.โ€

โ€œIf this is about Lenโ€”โ€

โ€œHe has nothing to do with this,โ€ I say, even though this has everything to do with Len. What happened to him is the sole reason Iโ€™m willing to believe something bad also could have befallen Katherine. If it happened once, it could easily happen again.

it.โ€

โ€œEven so,โ€ my mother says, โ€œitโ€™s best if you stay out of

โ€œThatโ€™s no longer an option. A guy staying at the

Mitchellsโ€™ place thinks the same way I do. We already told a detective friend of his.โ€

โ€œYou got the police involved?โ€ My mother sounds like sheโ€™s about to get the vapors or drop the phone or pass out from shock. Maybe all three. โ€œThisโ€”this isnโ€™t good, Casey. I sent you there so youโ€™d be out of the public eye.โ€

โ€œWhich I am.โ€

โ€œNot when there are cops around.โ€ My motherโ€™s voice lowers to a whispered plea. โ€œPlease donโ€™t get involved any further. Just walk away.โ€

But I canโ€™t do that, even if I wanted to. Because as my mother talks, something catches my eye on the other side of the lake.

Tom Royce.

As he crosses the patio on the way to his Bentley, I raise the binoculars and my motherโ€™s voice fades into background noise. I focus solely on Tom, searching for ways in which he could seem suspicious. Is his slow, easygoing walk to the car all an act because he knows heโ€™s being watched? Is that grim look on his face because his wife left him? Or is it because heโ€™s thinking about how he refused to let her leave?

My mother keeps talking, sounding like sheโ€™s a thousand miles away. โ€œCasey? Are you listening to me?โ€

I continue to stare across the water as Tom slides behind the wheel of the Bentley and backs it out from under the portico. When the car turns left, heading toward town, I say, โ€œMom, I need to go.โ€

โ€œCasey, waitโ€”โ€

I hang up before she can finish. Staring at the now- empty Royce house, I think about the last birthday I celebrated with Len. The Big Three-Five. To celebrate, he rented an entire movie theater so I could finally fulfill my dream of watchingย Rear Windowย on the big screen.

If my mother were still on the line, sheโ€™d tell me what Iโ€™m doing is playing pretend. Role-playing Jimmy Stewart in his wheelchair because I have nothing else going on in my sad little life. While thatโ€™s probably truer than Iโ€™d care to admit, this isnโ€™t just playacting.

Itโ€™s real. Itโ€™s happening. And Iโ€™m a part of it.

That doesnโ€™t mean I canโ€™t take a cue from good old Jimmy. In the movie, he had Grace Kelly search his suspicious neighborโ€™s apartment, finding the wedding ring that proved he had murdered his wife. While times have changed and I donโ€™t know if Katherineโ€™s wedding ring will be enough proof for Wilma Anson, maybe something else in that house will do the trick.

By the time Tomโ€™s Bentley vanishes from view, the phone is stuffed back in my pocket, the binoculars are taking my place in the rocking chair, and Iโ€™m marching off the porch.

While heโ€™s away, I plan on doing more than just watch the Roycesโ€™ house.

Iโ€™m going to search the place.

Rather than take the boat across the lakeโ€”the quickest and easiest optionโ€”I choose to walk the gravel road that circles Lake Greene. Itโ€™s

completely quiet and less conspicuous than the boat, which could be seen and heard by Tom if, God forbid, he returns while Iโ€™m still there and I have to make a quick getaway.

Also, walking gives me a chance to clear my head, gather my thoughts, and, if Iโ€™m being completely honest, change my mind. The road, so narrow and tree-lined in spots that it could pass for a path, invites contemplation. And as I walk, the lake glistening through the trees on my left and the thick forest rising to my right, what Iโ€™m thinking is that breaking into the Royce house is a bad idea.

Very bad. The worst.

I pause when I reach the northernmost corner of the lake, smack in the middle of the horseshoe curve separating Eliโ€™s house from the Mitchellsโ€™, where Boone is staying. I wonder what both men would say if they knew what Iโ€™m planning. That itโ€™s illegal, probably. That breaking and entering is a crime, even if my intentions are pure. Boone, ex-cop that he is, would likely list more than a dozen ways in which Iโ€™ll be charged if I get caught. And Eli wouldnโ€™t hesitate to mention that what Iโ€™m about to attempt is also dangerous. Tom Royceย willย come back at some point.

Far across the water, all the way at the lakeโ€™s southern tip, I can spot the rocky bluff where Len and I had our afternoon picnic a week before he died. In the water below, Old Stubborn pokes from the surface. Because of the way itโ€™s situated, the ancient tree canโ€™t be seen from any of the houses on Lake Greene, which is probably why itโ€™s attained such mythical status.

The guardian of the lake, according to Eli.

Even if heโ€™s right and Old Stubbornย isย keeping watch over Lake Greene, there are limits to what it can do. It canโ€™t, for instance, break into the Royce house and search for clues.

That leaves me to do the job. Not because I want to.

Because I have to.

Especially if finding something incriminating inside is the only way Iโ€™m going to convince Wilma that Tom is lying about Katherine.

I resume walking, faster than before, not slowing until Iโ€™ve passed Eliโ€™s place and the Roycesโ€™ house comes into view. The front is far different from the back. No floor-to- ceiling glass here. Just a modern block of steel and stone with narrow slats for windows on both the upper and lower floors.

The front door, made of oak and big enough for a castle, is locked, forcing me to go around the side of the house and try the patio door in the back. I had wanted to avoid the possibility of being seen from my side of the lake. Hopefully Boone is busy working inside the Mitchellsโ€™ house and not sitting on the dock, watching this place as fervently as Iโ€™ve been.

I cross the patio quickly, making a beeline to the sliding door that leads into the house. I give it a tug and the

unlocked door opens just a crack.

Seeing that two-inch gap between the door and its frame gives me pause. While Iโ€™m not up to speed on Vermontโ€™s penal code, I donโ€™t need Boone to tell me what Iโ€™m about to do is against the law. Itโ€™s not quite breaking and entering, thanks to the unlocked door. And Iโ€™m certainly not intending to steal anything, so itโ€™s not burglary. But itย isย trespassing, which will result in at least a fine and some more horrible headlines if Iโ€™m caught.

But then I think about Katherine. And how Tom has lied

โ€”blatantly liedโ€”about her whereabouts. And how if I donโ€™t do anything about it now, no one will. Not until itโ€™s too late. If it isnโ€™t too late already.

So I pull the door open a little wider, slip inside, and quickly close it behind me.

Inside the Royce house, the first thing that catches my eye is the view from the wall-sized windows overlooking the lake. Specifically the way my familyโ€™s charmingly ramshackle lake house appears from here. Itโ€™s so small, so distant. Thanks to the shadows of the trees surrounding it, I can barely make out the row of windows at the master bedroom or anything on the back porch beyond the railing. No rocking chairs. No table between them. Certainly no binoculars. Someone could be sitting there right now, watching me from across the lake, and Iโ€™d have no idea.

Yet Katherine knew I was watching. The last night I saw her, right before Tom jerked her away from this very spot, she looked directly at that porch, knowing I was there, watching the whole thing happen. My hope is that it comforted her. My fear is that it left her as unnerved as I feel right now. Like Iโ€™m in a fishbowl, my every move exposed. It brings a sense of vulnerability I neither expected nor enjoy.

And guilt. A whole lot of that.

Because today isnโ€™t the first time Iโ€™ve entered the Roycesโ€™ house.

With my near-constant spying, in a way Iโ€™ve been doing it for days.

And although Iโ€™m certain, down to my core, that no one would have known Katherine was in trouble without me watching them, shame warms my cheeks harder than the sun slanting through the windows.

My face continues to burn as I decide where to search first. Thanks to that long-ago visit and my recent hours of spying, Iโ€™m well acquainted with the layout of the house. The open-plan living room takes up one whole side of the first floor, from front to back. Since it strikes me as the least likely place to find anything incriminating, I cross the dining room and head into the kitchen.

Like the rest of the house, itโ€™s got a mid-century modern/Scandinavian-sparse vibe thatโ€™s all the rage on the HGTV shows I sometimes watch when Iโ€™m drunk and canโ€™t sleep in the middle of the night. Stainless steel appliances. White everywhere else. Subway tile out the ass.

Unlike on those design shows, the Royce kitchen shows signs of frequent, messy use. Multicolored drops of food spatter the countertops. A tray on the center island holds a bowl and spoon crusted with dried oatmeal. On the stovetop is a pot with soup dregs at the bottom. From the milky film coating it, my guess is cream of mushroom, reheated last night. I assume Katherine was the cook of the marriage and Tom has been reduced to eating like a frat boy. I canโ€™t help but judge him as I peek into the trash can and see boxes that once held microwave Mexican and Lean Cuisines. Even at my drunkest and laziest, I would never resort to frozen burritos.

What I donโ€™t seeโ€”in the trash or anywhere else in the kitchenโ€”are signs something bad happened here. No drops of blood among the food spatter. No sharp knife or hacksaw or weapon of any kind drying in the dishwasher. Thereโ€™s not even a Dear John letter from Katherine, which is what Marnie had predicted.

Satisfied thereโ€™s nothing else to see here, I do a quick tour of the rest of the first floorโ€”tasteful sun-room off the kitchen, guest powder room that smells like lavender, entrance foyerโ€”before heading upstairs.

My first stop on the second floor is the only room not visible through the expansive windows at the back of the houseโ€”a guest room. Itโ€™s luxurious, boasting a king bed, sitting area, and en suite bathroom that looks like something out of a spa. Itโ€™s all crisp, clean, and completely boring.

The same goes for the exercise room, although I do examine the rack of free weights for dried blood in case any of them had been used as a weapon. Theyโ€™re clean, which makes me feel both relieved and slightly troubled that Iโ€™d thought to check them in the first place.

After that, itโ€™s on to the master bedroom, where the sight of my own house through the massive windows brings another guilt-inducing reminder that I watched Katherine and Tom in this most private of spaces. Itโ€™s made worse by the fact that Iโ€™m nowย insideย their inner sanctum, casing it the way a burglar would.

I see nothing immediately amiss in the bedroom itself, other than an unmade bed, a pair of Tomโ€™s boxer shorts discarded on the floor, and an empty rocks glass on his nightstand. I canโ€™t decide which is worseโ€”that my spying has already taught me which side of the bed is Tomโ€™s or

that a single sniff of the rocks glass instantly tells me he was drinking whiskey.

When I round the bed and check Katherineโ€™s nightstand, I encounter the first sign of something suspicious. A small bowl the color of a Tiffanyโ€™s box sits next to her bedside lamp. Resting at its bottom are two pieces of jewelry.

An engagement ring and a wedding band.

It immediately reminds me ofย Rear Windowย and Grace Kelly as seen through Jimmy Stewartโ€™s telephoto lens, flashing dead Mrs. Thorwaldโ€™s wedding ring. In 1954, that was proof of guilt. Today, however, it proves nothing. Thatโ€™s what Wilma Anson would tell me.

In this case, Iโ€™m inclined to agree. If Katherine did indeed leave Tom, wouldnโ€™t it be natural for her to leave her rings behind? The marriage is over. She wants a fresh start. She doesnโ€™t need to keep the jewelry that symbolized their unhappy union. Also, I know from our first, dramatic meeting that Katherine doesnโ€™t always wear her wedding band.

Still, itโ€™s suspicious enough for me to pull my phone from my pocket and snap a few pictures of the rings sitting in the bowlโ€™s gentle curve. I keep the phone out as I peek into the bathroom, which is even bigger and more spa-like than the one in the guest room. Like everywhere else, the only thing it points to is that Tom Royce is a slob when left on his own. Exhibit A is the towel bunched next to the sink. Exhibit B is yet another pair of boxer shorts on the floor. This time, I donโ€™t judge. Someone prowling my bedroom right now would see yesterdayโ€™s clothes in a heap at the foot of my bed and a bra tossed across the back of the easy chair in the corner.

I move from bathroom to walk-in closet. Itโ€™s large and tidy, the walls covered by an elaborate grid of shelves,

hanging rods, and drawers. Nothing appears to be missing, a realization that brings a renewed sense of worry. While roaming the house, Iโ€™d been slowly coming around to the idea that maybe Katherine really did just up and leave Tom without giving him a clue about where she went. All these clothes, bearing labels from Gucci, Stella McCartney, and, in a refreshing bit of normalcy, H&M, suggest otherwise. As does a matching set of luggage tucked in the corner that I would have assumed belonged to Tom if the tags dangling from the handles didnโ€™t bear Katherineโ€™s name.

While I can understand leaving her engagement ring and wedding band behind, Katherine surely would have taken clothes with her. Yet the closet is filled with her things, to the point where I can spot only one empty hanger and one blank space on the shelves.

When Katherine leftโ€”ifย she leftโ€”she took only the clothes on her back.

I start opening drawers, seeing neatly folded sweaters, T-shirts and sweats, underwear in a rainbow of colors.

And a phone.

Itโ€™s stuffed into the back of Katherineโ€™s underwear drawer, almost hidden behind a pair of Victoriaโ€™s Secret panties. Seeing it makes me think of Mixer and Katherineโ€™s red triangle pinpointing her location.

I use my own phone to take a picture of it, then swipe through my call log until I find Katherineโ€™s number. The second I hit the call button, the phone in the drawer starts to ring. I brush aside the panties until I can see my number lit up across its screen. Below it is the last time I called her.

Yesterday. One p.m.

I let the phone keep ringing until her voicemail message kicks in.

โ€œHi, youโ€™ve reached Katherine.โ€

More worry pulses through me. Everything Katherine brought with herโ€”her phone, her clothes, her jewelryโ€”is still here.

The only thing missing is Katherine herself.

I pick up her phone, using a pair of panties to keep my fingerprints from smudging the screen. Thank you, guest arc onย Law & Order.

The phone itself is locked, of course. The only information it provides is whatโ€™s available on the lock screen. Time, date, and how much juice is left in the battery. Very little, it turns out. Katherineโ€™s phone is near death, which tells me it hasnโ€™t been charged for at least a day, maybe longer.

I put the phone back where I found it, just in case Tom is keeping tabs on it. No need to alert him to my presence. I close the drawer and am about to leave the closet when Katherineโ€™s phone begins to ring again, the sound mu๏ฌ„ed inside the drawer.

I return to the drawer, yank it open, see a phone number glowing white against the black screen. Just like me, whoeverโ€™s calling hasnโ€™t been deemed familiar enough by Katherine to have their number saved in her phone.

But they have called before.

Along with the number is a reminder of the last time they did it.

This morning.

Because I canโ€™t answer, I whip out my own phone and snap a picture of the number glowing on Katherineโ€™s screen before the caller can hang up. It might be a good idea to call them later. Maybe theyโ€™re looking for Katherine, too. Maybe theyโ€™re as worried as I am.

I pocket my phone, close the drawer, leave the closet. After that, I move out of the bedroom and into the second-

floor hallway, on my way to the only room yet to be searched.

The home office. Very much Tomโ€™s domain. The furnishings have a more masculine feel. Dark woods and glass and a distinct lack of personality. Thereโ€™s a shelf of antique barware befitting the name of his app and a bookcase filled with business-y titles heavy on aspiration. Sitting atop the shelf, in a silver frame, is the same wedding photo of Tom and Katherine Iโ€™d seen years before inย Peopleย magazine.

By the window is a glass-topped desk upon which sits Tom Royceโ€™s laptop. Itโ€™s closed now, as flat and compact as a picture book. I glide toward it, remembering the night I watched Katherine at that desk, using that very computer. I canโ€™t forget how surprised she had looked. So shocked it was clear even through the binoculars and a quarter mile of distance. I also recall how startled she seemed when Tom appeared in the doorway, barely managing to hide it.

My hand hovers over the laptop as I debate opening it up and seeing what I can find. Unlike Katherineโ€™s phone, thereโ€™s no way to use it without getting my fingerprints all over it. Yes, I could use my shirt to wipe it down when Iโ€™m done, but that would get rid of Tomโ€™s and Katherineโ€™s prints as well. That might look like tampering with evidence, which courts tend to frown upon. Another thing I picked up fromย Law & Order.

On the flip side, this laptop could be the key we need to unlock the truth about what happened to Katherine. Showing Wilma Anson pictures of Katherineโ€™s phone and discarded rings might not be enough to get a search warrant. In the meantime, it would be so easy for Tom to make sure no one else sees whatโ€™s on the laptop. All it would take is a single toss into Lake Greene.

That thoughtโ€”of the laptop sinking to the lakeโ€™s dark, muddy floorโ€”makes me decide to open it. If I donโ€™t lookโ€” right nowโ€”thereโ€™s a chance no one ever will.

I crack the laptop open, and its screen springs to life, revealing a home page of a lake in full summer splendor. Trees a shade of green that only exists in July. Sunlight twinkling like pixie dust on the water. A sky so blue it looks like CGI.

Lake Greene.

Iโ€™d recognize it anywhere.

I tap the space bar and the lake is replaced by a desktop strewn with tabs, icons, and file folders. I let out a relieved breath. Iโ€™d been worried the laptop was as locked down as Katherineโ€™s phone.

But now that I have access, I canโ€™t decide what to search first. Most of the folders look Mixer specific, with names like Q2 data, Ad roster, Mockups2.0. I click on a few of them, seeing spreadsheets, saved memos and reports using so much business-speak they might as well be written in Sanskrit.

Only one of the spreadsheets catches my eye. Dated three months ago, it consists of a column of numbers, all of them red. I take a picture of the laptop screen despite not knowing if the figures are dollars or subscribers or something else. Just because I canโ€™t understand it doesnโ€™t mean it wonโ€™t come in handy later.

I close the folder and start looking for ones that seem unrelated to Tom Royceโ€™s app. I choose one marked with a telling name.

Kat.

Inside are more folders, labeled by year and going back half a decade. I peek inside each one, seeing not only photos of Katherine from her modeling days but more

spreadsheets. One per year. Atop each is the same heading:ย earnings. I scan a few of them, noting thereโ€™s not a red number to be found. Even though sheโ€™s no longer a model, Katherineโ€™s been making an obscene amount of money. Far more than that net worth website estimated and far more than Mixer.

I take photos of spreadsheets for the past three years and move on to the laptopโ€™s web browser. Two seconds and one click later, I find myself staring at the browsing history.

Jackpot.

Immediately, I see that Tom hasnโ€™t done any obvious web surfing in the past two days. There are no instantly suspicious searches for ways to dispose of a body or the best hacksaws for cutting through bone. Either Tom hasnโ€™t touched the laptop since Katherine disappeared or he cleared the browsing history for the past forty-eight hours.

Three days ago, however, brings up a bonanza of visited sites. Some, including the sameย Bloomberg Businessweekย article about Mixer Iโ€™d found, strike me as the work of Tom Royce. Others, such as theย New York Timesย fashion section andย Vanity Fair, suggest Katherineโ€™s doing. As does an interesting Google search.

Causes of drowning in lakes.

I click the link and see a brief list of reasons, including swimming alone, intoxication, and boating without a life jacket. That last one makes me think of Len. It also makes me want to clomp downstairs and pour myself something strong from the living room bar.

Trying to rid myself of both the thought and the urge, I do a little shimmy and move on. I go to Google and check the most recent topics searched on the laptop, finding more about drowning and water.

Swimming at night.

Ghosts in reflections. Haunted lakes.

A sigh escapes my lips. Eliโ€™s campfire tale sent either Tom or Katherine running to Google. One of them, in fact, did a lot of searching a few days ago. In addition to lake- related topics, I find searches for World Series scores, the weather forecast, paella recipes.

One topic, however, stops me cold.

Missing women in Vermont.

Why on earth was Tom or Katherine interested inย this?

Shocked, I move to click on the link when I spot a name just beneath it.

Mine.

Seeing my name in the browser history isnโ€™t a surprise. Iโ€™m sure Iโ€™ve been Googled by plenty of complete strangers in the past year. It makes sense my new neighbors would do it, too. I even know what the top hit will be before I click it. Sure enough, thereโ€™s a picture of me guzzling down a double old-fashioned and the headline that will likely dog me for the rest of my life.

โ€œCaseyโ€™s Booze Binge.โ€

Below it are articles about my firing fromย Shred of Doubt, my IMDb page, Lenโ€™s obituary in theย LA Times. All of the links had been clicked, making it clear that either Tom or Katherine had been researching me.

Whatโ€™s not so clear is which one it was. And why.

When I return to the browser history to try to find out, I notice another familiar name had been entered into Google.

Boone Conrad.

The search brought up an article about his wifeโ€™s death. Reading it over, I learn two surprising facts. The first is that Boone is indeed his real name. The second is that he was a

cop in the police department closest to Lake Greene. Everything else in the article is exactly what heโ€™d told me yesterday. He came home from work, found his wife at the bottom of the stairs, and called paramedics, who declared her dead. The chief of policeโ€”Booneโ€™s bossโ€”is quoted as saying it was a tragic accident. End of story.

I move on, seeing that itโ€™s not just people on the lake who have been Googled by one of the Royces. I also spot a search for someone Iโ€™ve never heard of: Harvey Brewer.

Clicking on it brings up a staggering number of hits. I choose the first oneโ€”a year-old article from a Pennsylvania newspaper with a ghoulish headline.

โ€œMan Admits to Slowly Poisoning His Wife.โ€

I read the article, each sentence making my heart thump faster. It turns out that Harvey Brewer was a fifty- something mail carrier from East Stroudsburg whose forty- something wife, Ruth, suddenly dropped dead of a heart attack inside a Walmart.

Although she was a healthy typeโ€”โ€œFit as a fiddle,โ€ a friend saidโ€”Ruthโ€™s death wasnโ€™t a complete surprise. Her siblings told police she had been complaining about sudden weakness and dizzy spells in the weeks leading up to her death. โ€œShe said she wasnโ€™t feeling quite like herself,โ€ one of her sisters said.

Because Harvey was set to receive a healthy sum of money after her death, Ruthโ€™s family suspected foul play. They were right. An autopsy discovered trace amounts of brimladine, a common ingredient in rat poison, in Ruthโ€™s system. Brimladine, a stimulant that some experts have called โ€œthe cocaine of poisons,โ€ works by increasing the heart rate. In rodents, death is instantaneous. In humans, it takes a good deal longer.

When the police questioned Harvey, he caved immediately and confessed to giving his wife microdoses of brimladine for weeks. The poison, doled out daily in her food and drink, weakened Ruthโ€™s heart to the point of failure. Harvey claimed to have gotten the idea from a Broadway play the two of them had seen on a recent trip to New York.

Shred of Doubt.

Holy. Shit.

Harvey Brewer had been in the audience of my play. Heโ€™d seen me onstage, playing a woman who comes to realize her husband is slowly poisoning her. Heโ€™d sat in that darkened theater, wondering if such a thing could be done in real life. Turns out, it could. And he almost got away with it.

By the time I reach the end of the article, different moments with Katherine are gliding through my thoughts like a slide show.

Floating in the lake, motionless, her lips an icy blue.

It was like my entire body stopped working, was how she later described it.

Slumped in a rocking chair, gripped by a hangover.

Iโ€™m just not myself lately.

Woozy from only two glasses of wine.

I donโ€™t feel too good.

Itโ€™s that night by the fire I latch on to the hardest, as details that seemed small at the time suddenly loom large with meaning.

Tom telling me how fantastic he thought I was inย Shred of Doubt.

Him insisting on pouring the wine, doing it with his back to us, so we couldnโ€™t see what he was doing.

Him carefully handing each of us our own glass, as if theyโ€™d been specifically assigned.

Katherine downing hers in a mighty gulp, getting a refill from her husband.

For a second, Iโ€™m dumb struck. The realization is like an old-timey flashbulb going off in my face. White-hot and blinding. Dizzy from the shock of it all, I close my eyes and wonder if what happened to Ruth Brewer also happened to Katherine.

It makes sense in the same way a jigsaw puzzle does once all the pieces have been snapped into place. Tom sawย Shred of Doubtย and, like Harvey, got to thinking. Or maybe he stumbled upon Harvey Brewerโ€™s crime first and decided to see the play for himself. Thereโ€™s no way to know the how, the why, or the when. Not that it matters. Tom decided to imitate both Harvey and the play, slipping Katherine tiny doses of poison when he could, weakening her until, one day, everything just stopped.

And Katherine found out, most likely by doing what Iโ€™m doing now and simply seeing it in her husbandโ€™s browsing history.

Thatโ€™sย what she saw the night before she vanished.

Thatโ€™sย why she looked simultaneously shocked and curious as I watched her from the porch. Sitting in this very chair. Staring at this very laptop. As stunned as I am now.

And itโ€™s why she and Tom fought later that night. She told him she knew what he was doing. He denied it, maybe demanded to know where such an idea came from.ย How? Who?

By dawn, Katherine was gone. Tom either killed her or she ran, leaving everything behind. Now she could be buried in the woods or resting at the bottom of the lake or in hiding. Those are the only options I can think of.

I need to find out which one it is.

And convince Detective Wilma Anson to help me do it.

I grab my phone again and take a picture of the laptop screen, the article about Harvey Brewer unreadable but the headline crystal clear. Iโ€™m about to take another when I hear an unwelcome sound arrive outside the house.

Tires crunching gravel.

To my right is a window that provides a view from the southwestern side of the house. I go to it and see Tom Royceโ€™s Bentley vanishing under the portico.

Shit.

I run out of the office, only to stop and turn back around when I realize the laptop is still open. I rush back to the desk, slam the laptop shut, speed out of the office again. I pause in the second-floor hall, unsure where to go next. Within seconds, Tom will be inside. If I run down the stairs now, itโ€™s likely heโ€™ll spot me. It might be wiser to stay on this floor and hide in a place he probably wonโ€™t enter. The guest room seems to be the best bet. I could crawl under the bed and wait until Iโ€™m certain I can escape unseen.

Which could be hours.

Meanwhile, Tom still hasnโ€™t come into the house. Maybe heโ€™s doing something outside. Maybe thereย isย enough time for me to fly down the stairs and zoom out the front door.

I decide to risk it, mostly because hiding hereโ€”possibly for a long timeโ€”is no guarantee Tom wonโ€™t find me anyway. The safest thing to do is leave the house.

Right now.

With no thoughts in my head other than getting out of here as fast as possible, I sprint for the stairs.

Then down the stairs.

Then toward the front door. I grab the handle and pull.

The door is locked, which I already knew but had forgotten because, one, there are other things on my mind and, two, Iโ€™ve never done this before.

As I reach for the lock, I hear another door being pushed open.

The sliding glass door in back of the house.

Tom is coming insideโ€”and Iโ€™m a second away from being caught. The front door is just off the living room. If he goes anywhere but the dining room or kitchen, Iโ€™ll be spotted. Even if he doesnโ€™t, the click of the lock and sound of the door opening will alert him to my presence.

I spin around, ready to face him, my mind whirling to come up with a vaguely logical excuse as to why Iโ€™m inside his house. I canโ€™t. My brain is blank with panic.

As a second passes, then another, I realize I havenโ€™t heard the sliding door close or Tomโ€™s footsteps inside the house. What Iย doย hear, drifting on the autumn breeze coming through that still-open door, is water lapping on the shore, the sound of a boat arriving at the Roycesโ€™ dock, and a familiar voice calling Tomโ€™s name.

Boone.

I remain by the door, waiting for verification that Tomโ€™s still outside. I get it when I hear Boone, now on the back patio, ask him if he needs any work done on the house.

โ€œI figured Iโ€™d check, since Iโ€™m pretty much done with the Mitchellsโ€™ place.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m good,โ€ Tom replies. โ€œEverything seems to be inโ€”โ€

I donโ€™t pay attention to the rest because Iโ€™m too busy unlocking the door and yanking it open. As soon as Iโ€™m outside, I do the only reasonable thing.

Run.

Thanks to his boat, Boone beats me back to our side of the lake. Even though Iโ€™d stopped running as soon as I passed Eliโ€™s house, Iโ€™m still out of breath

when I see him standing in the road ahead, his arms folded across his chest like an angry parent.

โ€œThat was a stupid and dangerous thing you did back there,โ€ Boone says as I approach him. โ€œTom would have caught you if I hadnโ€™t jumped in my boat and stopped him.โ€

โ€œHow did you know I was there?โ€

The answer, I realize, is gripped in Booneโ€™s right hand. The binoculars.

Handing them to me, he says, โ€œI borrowed them after I saw you walking past the house. I knew what you were up to and ran onto your porch to keep watch.โ€

โ€œWhy didnโ€™t you stop me from going?โ€

โ€œBecause I was thinking about doing it myself.โ€

โ€œBut you just told me it was stupid and dangerous.โ€

โ€œIt was,โ€ Boone says. โ€œThat doesnโ€™t mean it wasnโ€™t necessary. Did you find anything?โ€

โ€œPlenty.โ€

We resume walking, making our way past where Boone is staying on the way to my place. Strolling side by side as leaves the color of a campfire swirl around us, it would be a lovely walkโ€”almost romanticโ€”if not for the grim subject matter at hand. I tell Boone about how Katherineโ€™s rings, phone, and clothes are still in her bedroom before getting

into what I found on Tomโ€™s laptop, including Harvey Brewer.

โ€œTom was slowly poisoning her,โ€ I say. โ€œJust like what this guy did to his wife. Iโ€™m certain of it. Katherine told me she hadnโ€™t been feeling well. She kept getting suddenly weak and tired.โ€

โ€œSo you think sheโ€™s dead?โ€

โ€œI think she found out about it. Hopefully, she ran. But thereโ€™s a chance . . .โ€

Boone gives me a somber nod, no doubt thinking about the tarp, the rope, the hacksaw. โ€œTom got to her before she could.โ€

โ€œBut we have proof now.โ€ I grab my phone and start swiping through the photos I took. โ€œSee? Thatโ€™s the article about Harvey Brewer, right on Tomโ€™s own laptop.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s not enough, Casey.โ€

I stop in the middle of the leaf-strewn road, letting Boone walk several paces ahead before he realizes Iโ€™m no longer at his side.

โ€œWhat do you mean itโ€™s not enough? I have pictures of Katherineโ€™s phone and clothes, not to mention proof her husband was reading about a man who murdered his wife.โ€ โ€œWhat I mean,โ€ Boone says, โ€œis that itโ€™s not legal. You

got all that stuff by breaking into their house. A crime thatโ€™s worse than spying.โ€

โ€œYou know whatโ€™s even worse?โ€ I say, unable to keep an impatient edge out of my voice. โ€œPlanning to kill your wife.โ€

I still havenโ€™t budged, forcing Boone to come back and wrap one of his big arms around my shoulders to get me moving again.

โ€œI agree with you,โ€ he says. โ€œBut thatโ€™s how the law works. You canโ€™t prove someone committed a crime by committing another crime. In order to really nail him, we

need some kind of evidenceโ€”notย gained illegallyโ€”that could point to foul play.โ€

What he doesnโ€™t sayโ€”but what I infer anywayโ€”is that, so far, Tom Royce has been very good at covering his tracks. That Instagram photo he posted on Katherineโ€™s account is proof of that. Therefore itโ€™s unlikely he left some damning piece of evidence within legal reach.

I stop again, this time stilled by the realization that thereย isย a piece of evidence in my possession.

But it wasnโ€™t left by Tom.

This was all Katherineโ€™s doing.

I start off down the road again, the motion as abrupt as when Iโ€™d stopped. Rather than walk, I return to running, trotting far ahead of Boone on the way to the lake house.

โ€œWhat are you doing?โ€ he calls.

I donโ€™t slow as I shout my reply. โ€œGetting evidence.

Legally!โ€

Back at the house, I head straight for the kitchen and the trash can that should have been emptied a day ago but thankfully wasnโ€™t. A rare win for laziness. I sort through the garbage, my fingers squishing into soggy paper towels and clammy wads of oatmeal. By the time Boone reaches me, Iโ€™ve overturned the can and dumped its contents onto the floor. After another minute of searching, I find what Iโ€™m looking for.

A piece of broken wineglass.

Triumphantly, I hold it to the light. The glass is dirtier now than when I found it glinting in the yard. Crumbs dust the surface, and thereโ€™s a white splotch that might be salad dressing. Hopefully that wonโ€™t matter because the saltlike film Iโ€™d seen the other day remains.

If Tom Royce really did slip something into Katherineโ€™s wine that night, hopefully this piece of glass will be able to

prove it.

When Wilma Anson arrives, the glass shard has been safely tucked inside a Ziploc bag. She studies it through the clear plastic, the tilt of her

head signaling either curiosity or exasperation. With her, itโ€™s hard to tell.

โ€œWhereโ€™d you get this again?โ€

โ€œThe yard,โ€ I say. โ€œThe glass broke when Katherine passed out in the grass while holding it.โ€

โ€œBecause sheโ€™d allegedly been drugged?โ€ Wilma says. โ€œPoisoned,โ€ I say, correcting her.

โ€œThe lab results might say otherwise.โ€

Boone and I agreed it wasnโ€™t a good idea to tell Wilma just how, exactly, I came to suspect Tom of trying to poison his wife. Instead, we told her I had suddenly remembered Katherine mentioning the name Harvey Brewer, which led me to the internet and my theory that Tom might have tried the same thing Brewer had done to his wife. It was enough to get Wilma to come over. Now that sheโ€™s here, the big question is if sheโ€™ll do anything about it.

โ€œThat means youโ€™re going to test it, right?โ€ I say.

โ€œYes,โ€ Wilma says, the word melting into a sigh. โ€œAlthough itโ€™ll take a few days to get the results back.โ€

โ€œBut Tom could be gone by then,โ€ I say. โ€œCanโ€™t you at least question him?โ€

โ€œI plan to.โ€ โ€œWhen?โ€

โ€œWhen the time is right.โ€

โ€œIsnโ€™tย nowย the right time?โ€ I start to sway back and forth, put into motion by the impatience fizzing inside me. All the things I want to tell Wilma are the same things Iย canโ€™tย tell her. Revealing that I know Katherineโ€™s phone, clothes, and rings remain in her bedroom would also be admitting that I broke into the Roycesโ€™ house. So I keep it in, feeling like a shaken champagne bottle, hoping I donโ€™t explode under the pressure. โ€œDonโ€™t you believe us?โ€

โ€œI think itโ€™s a valid theory,โ€ Wilma says. โ€œOne of several.โ€

โ€œThen investigate it,โ€ I say. โ€œGo over there and question him.โ€

โ€œAnd ask him if he killed his wife?โ€ โ€œYes, for starters.โ€

Wilma moves into the adjoining dining room without invitation. Dressed in a black suit, white shirt, and sensible shoes, she finally resembles the TV detective of my imagination. The only similarity to her outfit from last night is a scrunchie around her wrist. Green instead of yellow and clearly not her daughterโ€™s. Slung over Wilmaโ€™s shoulder is a black messenger bag, which she drops onto the table. When she sits, her jacket flares open, offering a glimpse of the gun holstered beneath it.

โ€œThis isnโ€™t as simple as you think,โ€ she says. โ€œThere might be something else going on here. Something bigger than what happened to Katherine Royce.โ€

โ€œBigger how?โ€ Boone says.

โ€œYou ever do a trust exercise? You know, one of those things where a person falls backwards, hoping heโ€™ll be caught by the people behind him?โ€ Wilma demonstrates by raising her index finger and slowly tilting it sideways. โ€œWhat Iโ€™m about to tell you is a lot like that. Iโ€™m going to trust you with classified information. And youโ€™re going to

reward that trust by doing nothing and saying nothing and just letting me do my job. Deal?โ€

โ€œWhat kind of information?โ€ I say.

โ€œDetails of an active investigation. If you tell anyone I showed them to you, I could get in trouble and you could get your asses put in jail.โ€

I wait for Wilma to reveal sheโ€™s exaggerating with a just-kidding smile. It doesnโ€™t happen. Her expression is as severe as a tombstone as she gives the scrunchie on her wrist a twirl and says, โ€œSwear you will tell no one.โ€

โ€œYou know Iโ€™m good,โ€ Boone says. โ€œItโ€™s not you Iโ€™m worried about.โ€

โ€œI swear,โ€ I say, even though Wilmaโ€™s seriousness makes me wonder if Iย wantย to hear what sheโ€™s about to say. What Iโ€™ve discovered already today has me sparking with anxiety.

Wilma hesitates, just for a moment, before grabbing her bag. โ€œWhen did the Royces buy that house?โ€

โ€œLast winter,โ€ I say.

โ€œThis was their first summer here,โ€ Boone adds.

Wilma unzips the messenger bag. โ€œDid Tom Royce ever mention coming to the area before they bought it?โ€

โ€œYeah,โ€ I say. โ€œHe told me they spent several summers at different rental properties.โ€

โ€œHe told me the same thing,โ€ Boone says. โ€œSaid he was glad to finally find a place of their own.โ€

Wilma motions for us to sit. After we do, Boone and me sitting side by side, she pulls a file folder out of her bag and places it on the table in front of us.

โ€œAre either of you familiar with the name Megan Keene?โ€

โ€œSheโ€™s that girl who disappeared two years ago, right?โ€ Boone says.

โ€œCorrect.โ€

Wilma opens the folder, pulls out a sheet of paper, and slides it toward us. On the page is a snapshot, a name, and a single word that brings a shiver to my spine.

Missing.

I stare at the photo of Megan Keene. Sheโ€™s as pretty as a model in a shampoo commercial. All honey-blonde hair and rosy cheeks and blue eyes. The embodiment of Miss American Pie.

โ€œMegan was eighteen when she vanished,โ€ Wilma says. โ€œShe was a local. Her family owns the general store in the next town. Two years ago, she told her parents she had a date and left, kissing her mother on the cheek on her way out. It was the last time anyone saw her. Her car was found where she always left itโ€”parked behind her parentsโ€™ store. No signs of foul play or struggle. And nothing to suggest she never planned to come back to it.โ€

Wilma slides another page toward us. Itโ€™s the same format as the first.

Pictureโ€”a dark beauty with lips painted cherry red and her face framed by black hair.

Nameโ€”Toni Burnett. Also missing.

โ€œToni disappeared two months after Megan. She was basically a drifter. Born and raised in Maine but kicked out of the house by her very religious parents after one too many arguments about her behavior. Eventually, she ended up in Caledonia County, staying at a motel that rents rooms by the week. When her week was up and she didnโ€™t check out, the manager thought sheโ€™d skipped town. But when he entered her room, all her belongings still seemed to be there. Toni Burnett, though, wasnโ€™t. The manager didnโ€™t immediately call the police, thinking sheโ€™d return in a day or two.โ€

โ€œI guess that never happened,โ€ Boone says. โ€œNo,โ€ Wilma says. โ€œIt definitely did not.โ€

She pulls a third page from the folder. Sue Ellen Stryker.

Shy, as evidenced by the startled smile on her face, as if sheโ€™d just realized someone was taking her picture.

Missing, just like the others.

And the same girl Katherine had mentioned while we sat around the fire the other night.

โ€œSue Ellen was nineteen,โ€ Wilma says. โ€œShe went missing last summer. She was a college student spending the season working at a lakeside resort in Fairlee. Left work one night and never came back. Like the others, there was nothing to suggest she packed up and ran away. She was simply . . . gone.โ€

โ€œI thought she drowned,โ€ Boone says.

โ€œThat was one theory, although thereโ€™s nothing concrete to suggest thatโ€™s what really happened.โ€

โ€œBut you do think sheโ€™s dead,โ€ Boone says. โ€œThe others, too.โ€

โ€œHonestly? Yes.โ€

โ€œAnd that their deaths are related?โ€

โ€œI do,โ€ Wilma says. โ€œRecently, weโ€™ve come to believe theyโ€™re all victims of the same person. Someone whoโ€™s been in the area on a regular basis for at least two years.โ€

Boone sucks in a breath. โ€œA serial killer.โ€

The words hang in the stuffy air of the dining room, lingering like a foul stench. I stare at the pictures spread across the table, my gut clenched with both sadness and anger.

Three women.

Girls, really.

Still young, still innocent.

Taken in their prime. Now lost.

Studying each photograph, Iโ€™m struck by how their personalities leap off the page. Megan Keeneโ€™s effervescence. Toni Burnettโ€™s mystery. Sue Ellen Strykerโ€™s innocence.

I think of their families and friends and how much they must miss them.

I think of their goals, their dreams, their disappointments and hopes and sorrows.

I think of how they must have felt right before they were killed. Scared and alone, probably. Two of the worst feelings in the world.

A sob rises in my chest, and for a stricken moment, I fear itโ€™s going to burst out of me. But I swallow it down, keep it together, ask the question that needs to be asked.

โ€œWhat does this have to do with Katherine Royce?โ€

Wilma removes one more item from the folder. Itโ€™s a color photocopy of a postcard. An aerial view of a jagged lake surrounded by forests and mountains. Iโ€™ve seen the image a hundred times on racks in local stores and know what it is without needing to read the name printed at the bottom of the card.

Lake Greene.

โ€œLast month, someone sent this postcard to the local police department.โ€ Wilma looks to Boone. โ€œYour old stomping grounds. They passed it on to us. Because of this.โ€

She flips the page, revealing the photocopied back of the postcard. On the left side, written in all-caps handwriting so shaky it looks like the work of a child, is the address of Booneโ€™s former workplace, located about fifteen

minutes from here. On the right side, in that same childlike scrawl, are three names.

Megan Keene.

Toni Burnett.

Sue Ellen Stryker.

Beneath the names are four words.

I think theyโ€™re here.

โ€œHoly shit,โ€ Boone says.

I say nothing, too stunned to speak.

โ€œThereโ€™s no way to trace who sent it,โ€ Wilma says. โ€œThis exact postcard has been sold all over the county for years. As you can see, thereโ€™s no return address.โ€

โ€œFingerprints?โ€ Boone says.

โ€œPlenty. That card passed through more than a dozen hands before coming to the state police. The stamp was self-stick, so thereโ€™s no DNA on the back. A handwriting analysis concluded it was written by someone right-handed using their left hand. Thatโ€™s why itโ€™s barely legible. Whoever sent it did a very good job of covering their tracks. The only clue we have, really, is the postmark, which tells us it had been dropped into a mailbox on Manhattanโ€™s Upper West Side. That, incidentally, is where Tom and Katherine Royceโ€™s apartment is located. It could be a coincidence, but I doubt it.โ€

Boone rubs a hand through his stubble, contemplating all this information. โ€œYou think one of them sent that postcard?โ€

โ€œYes,โ€ Wilma says. โ€œKatherine, in particular. The handwriting analysis suggests it was written by a female.โ€

โ€œWhy would she do that?โ€ โ€œWhy do you think?โ€

It takes less than a second for it to sink in, with Booneโ€™s expression shifting as he moves from thought to theory to

realization. โ€œYou really think Tom killed those girls?โ€ he says. โ€œAnd that Katherine knew about it? Or at least suspected it?โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s one theory,โ€ Wilma says. โ€œThatโ€™s why weโ€™re being very careful here. If Katherine sent that postcard as a way to tip off the police about her husband, then itโ€™s also possible she ran away and is in hiding somewhere.โ€

โ€œOr that Tom found out and silenced her,โ€ Boone says. โ€œThatโ€™s also a possibility, yes. But if sheย hasย gone into

hiding as a way to protect herself, we want to find her before her husband does. Either way, both of you deserve some credit for this. If you hadnโ€™t called me about Katherine, we never would have thought to tie her and Tom to this postcard. So thank you.โ€

โ€œWhatโ€™s the next step?โ€ Boone asks, beaming with pride. Once a cop, always a cop, I guess.

Wilma gathers up the pages and stuffs them back into the folder. As she does, I get one last glimpse at the faces of those missing girls. Megan and Toni and Sue Ellen. Each one squeezes my heart so tight that I almost wince. Then Wilma closes the folder and the three of them vanish all over again.

โ€œRight now, weโ€™re looking into all the places Tom rented in Vermont in the past two years. Where he stayed. How long he was there. If Katherine was with him.โ€ Wilma drops the folder into her messenger bag and looks my way. โ€œIf the dates match up to these disappearances, thenย thatย will be the right time to talk to Tom Royce.โ€

Another shiver hits me. One of those full-body ones that rattle you like a cocktail shaker.

The police think Tom is a serial killer.

Although Wilma didnโ€™t say it outright, the implication is clear.

They think he did it.

And the situation is all so much worse than I first thought.

 

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