AFTERย Iย GETย off the plane in Dallas, Mom is waiting at the bottom of the escalator with three balloons. Youโd think I was coming home from the battlefield instead of a posh Eastern college.
โLook at you!โ she cries.
I pick her up and swing her around before setting her back on her feet.
She leans in, the familiar smell of hairspray and ammonia wafting up. โWhat should I be looking at?โ I tease.
She gives me a sappy mom smile before wrapping one thin arm around my waist and squeezing. โHow handsome you are. You look wonderful.โ
I shrug as we begin to make our way to the exit. โI feel pretty good.โ โThank goodness. I thought youโd be depressed over how your season is
going.โ Our games arenโt televised often, but she follows the results online. โIs that what the balloons are for?โ
โDid you think the balloons are for you? Because theyโre not.โ โIs that why the silver one says โWelcome Home, Sonโ?โ
โIt was discounted. I wouldโve bought the โIโm the Greatest Mom in the World,โ but it cost five dollars more.โ
โMan, the patriarchy is even ruining balloon sales?โ
Thrusting the attached streamers toward me, she laughs. โItโs a terrible world, which is why we need balloons.โ
โThis feels suspiciously like the pink apron incident,โ I say in mock protest, but I take the balloons anyway and bend down to press a kiss on the top of her head. Like the pink apron my roommates gave me, carrying a few balloons through the airport isnโt going to dent my ego.
โIf I were you, Iโd give them all something pink in return.โ
I contemplate the pink dildo that Dean likes to take baths with. โThatโs not a bad idea. Iโve got to pick up a few gifts before I head back. Iโll make sure everything I buy is either pink or full of glitter. Both, if possible.โ
Garret and Logan would die laughing at the thought of giving Dean a pink, glittering dildo. I make a mental note to text the guys later.
โYou didnโt check a bag?โ she asks as we bypass the baggage carousels. โNo, maโam.โ I donโt need to look at her face to know sheโs disappointed. โYou know Iโve got to get back for practice. Even if the season is sucking wind, Iโm still required to lace โem up. Thatโs the price of
my scholarship.โ
My busy schedule during the holidays has always been a source of dismay for my mother, who goes all out celebrating stuff. She lives for Christmas, which is why I made the trek home even though a lot of the guys stayed back at Briar.
โI thought maybe because this is your last year and you guys werenโt doing well, that youโd be allowed to spend the entire break with me.โ
โDoesnโt work that way. Besides, soon Iโll be underfoot all the time and youโll be begging me to leave,โ I warn her.
But even as I say it, my mind zips back to Sabrina. Sheโs going to be in Boston for the next three years. I wonder how weโre going to make that work.
I wonder if she even wants to make it work.
Itโd be a lot easier if weโd met last year. Or hell, even last semester, but weโve only got a few more months where weโll be in the same zip code, and for reasons Iโm not fully prepared to examine, especially with Mom at my side, the coming distance between us bothers the shit out of me.
I fight the urge to climb back on the plane and return to Boston. But Iโll have to settle for texting, phone calls, and maybe if Iโm lucky, a little video chatting. Iโd like to see how she uses her toy when Iโm not around.
I nearly run into Momโs SUV, lost in my thoughts about Sabrina and her vibrator. I clear my throat. โMind if I drive?โ
She tosses me the keys. โIโd never complain about you being around too much. You know Iโd love it if you came back and lived with me.โ
โYeah, thatโs not happening. No woman alive wants to go out with a guy who lives with his mom,โ I say, holding the door open for her.
She climbs in with a frown. โWhatโs wrong with living with your mother?
โEverything, and you know it.โ Then I lean forward and press another kiss on her forehead to take away the sting.
During the four-hour ride home from Dallas, she catches me up on the local gossip of Patterson. โMaria Solisโs daughter is home from UT. She gets her hair cut in Austin now, but she still has the nicest manners. She stopped in the other day just to say hi.โ
I nod absently, wondering if I had invited Sabrina to come home with me for the holidays if she would have said yes. I figured the invitation would be unwelcome, not just because sheโd view it as a sign we were moving too fast, but because she needs the money from work. Before I left, she was nearly beside herself with happiness about the time and a half she was going to be making.
โYou should ask her out.โ Momโs voice penetrates my daydreams again. โWho?โ I ask.
โMaria Solisโs daughter,โ she replies impatiently.
I glance away from the road to give her an incredulous stare. โYou want me to date Daniela Solis?โ
โWhy not? Sheโs gorgeous and smart.โ Mom sits back in her seat and crosses her arms.
โSheโs also gay.โ
Her mouth falls open. โDani Solis is gay?โ
โI guess the appropriate term isย lesbian,โ I say, remembering my gender studies course.
โNo,โ my mother protests. โSheโs far too beautiful.โ โMom, beautiful girls can be lesbians.โ
โAre you sure? Maybe sheโs bi. I know they say kids experiment in college.โ
โShe took Cassie Carter to prom! You did both their hair.โ โI thought they were friends.โ
โThey had to go as friends because the prom folks wouldnโt let them attend as a couple.โ
The small West Texas town I grew up in is a tad on the conservative side. Dani and Cassieย wereย friends, only ones that kissed and felt each other up in the hallway. And drove every teenage boy in eyeballing distance right out of their ever loving minds. Iโd spent many a teenage night fantasizing about the things those two girls did in private. It was probably inappropriate, but the majority of my thoughts from about age ten to seventeen fell into the inappropriate category.
Mom slumps in her seat. Sheโd obviously worked out an elaborate plan in her mind about Dani and me getting together.
โRemember when I told you that I met a girl?โ I say slowly, deciding that I better get this out there now before she starts trying to pair me off with every single girl in Patterson.
โOh?โ Her voice is guarded. โI thought it wasnโt a thing?โ
โIt is now. Look, youโd like her. Sheโs got perfect grades, works two jobs, and just got accepted into Harvard Law.โ
โHarvard? Isnโt that in Boston?โ
The worry is heavy in her voice. I get it. Sheโs concerned that if I fall for a girl in Boston, I wonโt move back home, which is why she sprang the Dani Solis thing on me before we even finished the drive home.
โYeah. Cambridge.โ I canโt even give her assurances, because at this point, I donโt know what Iโm doing about Boston, Patterson, or any of it. The only thing Iโm sure of is that I want to be with Sabrina.
โHow long is law school?โ
โThree years.โ AKA too long to be separated.
โYour plan is still to come home and buy a business, right? I was talking with Stewart Randolph the other day. You remember him? He owns the real estate business over on Pleasant. Heโs thinking of retiring, and that kid of his doesnโt want to move from Austin. It sounds like Randy would be interested in entertaining offers.โ
I grip the steering wheel a little tighter. Sabrina asked if anything got to me. Well, making my mom unhappy is on the top of that list. But the idea of buying Stewart Randolphโs real estate business might be a close second. In fact, the actual idea of sitting in Randolphโs office, wearing a tie every day, makes my skin itch. Iโve got some ideas about what Iโm going to do when I graduate and being a realtor isnโt one of them, particularly in Patterson, population 10,000.
โIโll talk to him,โ I hear myself saying.
โGood.โ At least someoneโs satisfied. โOh, by the way, the Solises are coming to dinner tonight.โ
โJesus Christ, Mom.โ โDonโt curse, John.โ
I drag in a deep breath and pray for patience, wondering when Iโll be able to text Sabrina.
*
โMY MOM HASย officially dubbed you a โgood catch.โโ Dani takes a seat next to me on the back steps of the small two-story house where Iโve lived all my life.
I tap my glass of sangria against hers. โThatโs solid. Iโm going to put that on my Tinder profile.โ
โShe also says that you have a secret cache of money that youโll shower on me when I provide you the requisite firstborn.โ Daniโs grin stretches from ear to ear. Sheโs clearly loving this.
โMy mother told me you were gorgeous and smart.โ I stifle a sigh, thinking of the other gorgeous and smart girl who I havenโt gotten to text since I sent her theย I landedย hours ago.
Her response ofย Yay! Glad to hear itย isnโt providing me with my necessary Sabrina daily intake. I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder, because I miss the shit out of her.
โAnd you said?โ
I jerk my attention back to my friend. โThat I thought you were a lesbian and Mom replied that maybe you were bi.โ
This sets Dani off. She folds in half, laughing so hard that the sangria spills all over the rim.
I lift the glass out of her hand so I donโt get showered with the drink, and set it on my other side. It takes a while for Dani to get her shit together, so I finish my drink and then down the rest of hers.
โTuck, Iโm sorry,โ she gasps, wiping a wine-drenched hand across her face. โThe idea of Mama Tucker hoping that Iโm bisexual so we can pair up is just too funny.โ
โGood thing Iโm confident about my appeal,โ I say dryly. โOr all this cackling mightโve made my balls shrivel.โ
Dani sobers up immediately. โOh hell, did I offend you? Do youโฆhave feelings for me?โ
โNope, and Iโm not saying you arenโt a babe, because you are, but Iโve known you swing a certain way since we were in junior high.โ
โYeah, Iโve always known.โ She bites her lip. โWas your mom upset?โ
โShe didnโt think less of you, if thatโs what youโre asking. Sheโs just disappointed.โ
Dani gives me a pensive nod. โPatterson is so small-minded, you know? Iโm okay for a visit, but I could never live here.โ She punctuates her declaration with a shiver of distaste. โIโm surprised youโre coming back.โ
โWhyโs that?โ
โTuck, you play hockey.โ She says the last word like it has extra meaning, but Iโm dumb, so I have to ask for an explanation.
โThereโs a hockey team in Dallas,โ I remind her. โItโs not that unusual.โ โIt is too. This is a football state, but no, you, a Texas boy, love the ice
and cold. Iโm surprised you arenโt staying up in Boston.โ
I kick out my legs and peer up at the darkening sky. Pattersonโs one of those relic townsโonce it was self-sustaining, but nearly all of the small businesses were squeezed out by regional stores that offered cheaper prices and more choices. Most folks who live here either farm or work at the tractor plant two towns over. Living in Boston is something Iโve thought about, but every time Iโve brought it up to my mother in the last four years, sheโs rejected the idea.
โMom loves it here. This is my daddyโs house that he bought when they were married.โ I pat the steps. โShe doesnโt want to leave it.โ
โSo thereโs no one you met at Briar? You spent four years there and are just coming home to settle in and be Pattersonโs number-one realtor?โ She holds up her index finger and deepens her voice.
Gotta admit, that doesnโt sound good. โYou know about those plans too?โ
โYeah, that was part of the sales pitch. Along with your huge bank account, youโd be able to keep me in luxury for the rest of our lives by selling houses in this place. The good news for your mom is that every single girl in Patterson would give their left tit to be John Tuckerโs woman.โ
Thereโs only one girl I want to slap that label on, and Iโm not entirely certain she wants it.
โIโve got a girl back in Briar,โ I confess. Talking about Sabrina makes her feel a little closer. Man, Iโve gotten sappy. I guess I donโt care that I am, because I pull out my phone. โWanna see?โ
Dani nods eagerly.
I thumb to a picture I took of Sabrina at a pub where we grabbed dinner the last time I drove up to see her. Her dark hair is loose and cascading down her shoulders, and her eyes are gleaming impishly because sheโd just smacked my ass as we were leaving.
โJesus, sheโs hot!โ Dani grabs my phone to pinch and zoom, first on Sabrinaโs face and then the rest of her body. โAre you sure sheโs not bi? Because itโs a crime that she has to suffer through life with a man.โ
โHey, Iโm good with my tongue.โ
Dani gives me a somewhat contemptuous look. โNo man is ever as good at oral as a lesbian. Itโs a scientific truth.โ
โYeah? Then spill your secrets, Solis. If not for me, then for poor Sabrina.โ
Daniโs lips curve into a sexy smile. โYou know what? I will.โ
And then she proceeds to give me a very graphic lesson in what makes good oral.