โPartyโs here!โย I call asย I open the bright blue door of Adam and Graceโs shingled Craftsman, ignoring the gallery wall displayed above the entry table where I dump my purse. Last time I was here I noticed all the new pictures taken while I was in Seattle, including a group photo of Adam and Grace with their married Marin friends.
I peek into the cozy living room, which is empty but not quiet; a Mac Miller song is pumping through the sound system displayed on a fancy Scandinavian-style media unit.
Itโs a much nicer version of the TV stand Eli and I bought for our Upper West Side apartment, a thought I can usually squash before it turns into a memory. But today it splashes out in Technicolor: Eli kneeling on the creaky hardwood floor in front of the brick wall I fell in love with at first sight, muttering to himself while he assembled it. Me cross-legged on the mattress we hadnโt bothered to push into the bedroom yet; the view was better from the living room. I watched him instead of reading the intimidating orientation email from my new company, then laughed when he tackled me, sweat dripping down his nose because we didnโt have an A/C unit yet.
โLook,โ he whispered, his mouth grazing mine. โOur first piece of furniture.โ
Distantly, I wonder if he still has it, or if he sold it when he moved out. Eli steps up behind me, pulling me from the memory.
โIโm going to drop my stuff in the guest room.โ His proximity pushes me into the past again before I shove it away.
โGreat,โ I chirp, already prepping for the show weโll put on for Adam.
Eliโs careful not to touch me as he brushes past, which feels unnecessary considering the myriad times heโs already made contact since the airport, but whatever.
I watch him disappear down the hallway. Heโs staying at Adam and Graceโs until we go up to Napa next Friday, and I try not to feel lonely that heโs here while Iโm flung away in the city by myself. Heโs alone all the time.
And you arenโt?
With a sigh, I make my way to the backyard. Adamโs cul-de-sac with like-minded homes is tucked against a densely forested hillside, so his yard is bordered by mature pine and oak trees, which are shimmying in the early evening breeze. A cream sectional and firepit take up most of the patio, and the lawn beyond it is choppily mowedโAdamโs novice craftsmanship. In the city, the only outdoor space they had was a shared, sloping rooftop.
Adamโs frowning down at the grill, but double-takes when he sees me. โDude, itโs about time,โ he says, reaching out for a fist bump. โI thought
you ditched me.โ
โWhen youโre cooking Korean barbecue? Never.โ I sidle up to him, peeking at strips of sizzling galbi, then elbow him. โHey, stranger.โ
โHey, you.โ He wraps an arm around my shoulders, squeezing. โHowโre things?โ
โGreat.โ A word that doesnโt fit, but the one I use most often. โI almost forgot what your face looked like, though.โ
He grimaces, flipping the meat. โI know, itโs been, what, two weeks since weโve seen you? Three?โ
โFive,โ I say lightly.
โNo way.โ His head tilts as he mentally calculates. โShit, youโre right. Well, youโll get tired of my face by the time this wedding is done, believe me.โ
I let out a hum. โYours, definitely, but not Graceโs. Where is she?โ
โHad to run to pick up a prescription real quick,โ he says, poking at the galbi. โSheโll be back.โ
Iโm about to ask if everything is okay when a voice calls out, โHey, Kiz, heard thereโs a wedding coming up. Thought Iโd crash it.โ
When I look over my shoulder, Eli is framed by the French doors leading into the kitchen. My heart leaps, even though I just saw him. His
gray T-shirt shows off the tantalizing curve of his biceps and the broadness of his chest, highlighting the way Iโd fit right there.
They havenโt seen each other since Adam visited him right after New Yearโs, which means I should step out of the way beforeโ
Yep, there they go. Adam pushes around me with a whoop of joy, nearly hurdling over the sectional to wrap his best friend up in a hug. Eli lets out anย oof, then a laugh. His eyes close as he claps Adam on the back, something grief-like tightening his features.
Adamโs shoulders drop as he crows happily, swaying Eli back and forth. Itโs obvious he needed this. Not just me, butย us. Itโs moments like this that Iโm grateful for the work Eli and I have put into protecting our collective friendship, even though itโs torturous at times. The thought of losing this is worse.
โIโm so glad youโre here,โ Adam says.
Eliโs exhale is shaky. โIโm sorry I wasnโt here before. For the bachโโ โDonโt start that shit again.โ Adam pulls back with a frown, smacking
his cheek not-so-softly. โNot kidding, I will smother you in your sleep.โ
My heart pings at the expression on Eliโs face, a replica of when he made the speech he mustโve practiced during his six-hour flight. Those wrinkles make sense now.
I saunter closer. โYou know itโs legit when Adam threatens murder.โ โExactly,โ Adam says, shaking Eli by the shoulders. โBesides, you
covered my buy-in for our fantasy football league this season. Weโre good.โ Eli gives him a droll look. โSure, sounds even.โ
โIt is,โ Adam insists. โYour robot brain wins that shit every year and itโs infuriating when itโs my money. Youโre saving me the high blood pressureย andย two hundred dollars. I can put that toward grill accoutrements or something.โ
โOr a neighborhood kid who knows how to mow a lawn,โ I say. Adam shoots me a glare. โItโs harder than it looks, you dick.โ
โTo be fair, you make it look impossible,โ Eli says, rubbing a hand across his jaw as he slides me a conspiratorial look. I bite back a grin.
โOkay, you know whโโ Adam sighs, keeping one arm around Eliโs shoulders and extending the other toward me, waving his hand. โShut up and letโs hug it out.โ
As I close the distance, I try to assess whether Eli will play along. Heโs been so intent on bucking our rules that a wild fear heโll do it in front of Adam grabs me by the throat.
But I should know better. Heโll do anything for Adam, the same way I will. He lifts his arm, exposing that Georgia-shaped spot. One corner of his mouth quirks into the easy smile I havenโt seen in private for years, executed perfectly.
โCome on in,โ he says, like heโs inviting me into his home.
The hug doesnโt last long, but I can feel every point where Eli and I are connected, the way his fingers tighten around my ribs. I swear I feel his breath stutter against my hair, but maybe itโs the breeze. I breathe out slowly, not wanting to inhale any piece of him.
Iโm the first to let go, and take two healthy steps back. โHow was the DJ call?โ
Eli raises an eyebrow at Adamโs groan. โThat good, huh?โ
โFucking weird.โ Adam shivers. โI donโt want to talk about it. George, any luck on your end?โ
โGot a potential list on my phone.โ
โI can helโโ Eli starts, but Adam waves him off.
โNah, letโs put a pin in it. No wedding talk tonight. Grace should be back soon, and Jamie and Blake are on their way.โ
Eliโs mouth tightens, then flexes into the approximation of a smile. โSure.โ
โDonโt know what Iโd do without you two,โ Adam says, shaking his head. โAnd I donโt want to think about it.โ
I know Eliโs response would echo mine: we donโt want to think about it either.
โYour hair! Very dark, luxurious,ย sex-kitten vibes,โ Jamie yelps as she Kool-Aid Mans into the backyard, cinnamon curls shimmying against her fair-skinned cheeks.
โThanks, suction cup,โ I tease as she launches herself at me. My arms go around her waist, squeezing hard so she canโt let me go.
Just like that first time I met Eli, I felt an immediate sense of belonging when I met Jamie. A close high school friend of Graceโs, sheโd recently relocated from LA and was looking for a roommate, a welcome coincidence since Iโd moved home with nowhere to go. I didnโt want to stay with my dad, even temporarily; Iโd just left a workaholic who largely forgot that I lived with him. Thankfully, Jamie opened her door without hesitation.
I miss her so much it aches in my bones.
She pulls back, wide brown eyes fixed on my hair. โYou colored it!
When?โ
โLast month,โ I say as Blake Williams, Jamieโs girlfriend, greets Adam and Eli in the background. It startles me to realize this is the first time she and Eli are meeting. Blake melted into our group so seamlessly that sometimes I forget she and Jamie only started dating eight months ago. Eliโs wearing a contemplative smile as she and Adam laugh. Probably drawing up nickname options.
โUnacceptable,โ Jamie sputters. โFirst, that I havenโt seen you in that long, and second, that you wouldnโt send me a selfie.โ
I hold up my hands in defense. โI took a few, but the color difference didnโt show in photos.โ
Sheโs so tied up these days, and I tend to be a mirror anyway; whatever time someone has to give me is what I give back in an attempt to be unobtrusive. I still send her the most important bits of my life, but dyeing my hair two shades darker doesnโt rank.
She presses a finger into my sternum, clearly not in agreement. โSend them anyway. Ten, minimum, from all angles.โ
I swat her hand away with a laugh. โYouโre ridiculous.โ
โShe wonโt let up until you do, you know,โ Blake says as she saunters over. Her locs are pulled back from her architecturally perfect face, and an
intricate collection of tattoos decorates the rich brown skin of her arms. She winds one around my waist, adding in her melting Tennessee twang, โHey, honey. We miss you.โ
โMiss you, too,โ I say. My heart squeezes at theย we, even though I love seeing Jamie so blissful. Itโs just hard to get used to her having another Person, especially because I didnโt get to say a proper goodbye to what had essentially become our long-term platonic partnership. โIโll send her twelve, just to be safe.โ
โI want some commotion for the hair, thatโs all,โ Jamie says. โIt looks amazing.โ
I shoot a meaningful look at Adam and Eli. โNo one else noticed.โ
โIt looks brown.โ Adam holds his hands up, eyes widening. โWas it not brown before?โ
โI noticed,โ Eli says, moving closer. โOkay, ass kisser,โ Adam mutters.
Eli laughs. โItย wasย brown before, genius.โ His finger barely touches my neck as he separates a lock of hair from the rest, but it sets off fireworks in my stomach as if he palmed my throat. I freeze, watch him wind it briefly around his forefinger, then tug, his gaze intent on it. โNow itโs a browner brown.โ
Wow. Thereโs no way heโs noticed my hair despite his oddly avid attention, which means heโs really selling it tonight. His enthusiasm for our show runs on a curveโheโs just as likely to be interrupted by a call or otherwise stressed into distraction.
But right now heโs very present. Maybe Adamโs speech spooked him, too.
I hook a finger over the lock heโs holding, disconnecting us. โWay to nail the technical name of the color.โ My gaze flicks up to his hair. โIs that what you asked for, too?โ
He rocks back on his heels, putting some space between us. โI went with brownest brown, actually.โ
I hum. โA bold move.โ
โIt looks good.โ His eyes make a hard stop where my hair rests at the top slope of my breasts, then rebound.
Good. That word again. He says it now like it means something else, but I donโt know what. What Iย doย know is heโs doing it for the proverbial cameras.
I grant him a sunny smile, saying, โThankย you,โ before sliding Adam a teasing glare.
โOh, Christ,โ he mutters. โCan you two please cut me a break on my
wedding week?โ
โNo,โ we say in unison. โHey.โ
We turn at the sound of Graceโs voice. Sheโs standing in the doorway, a CVS bag dangling from her fingers. She looks stunning in vintage Leviโs and a white tank top that offsets her skin, her black hair waterfalling down her back. Not for the first time, I think about how lucky Adam is. Grace is gorgeous and smart, but sheโs also warm and almost supernaturally calm. Tonight sheโs glowing, even if her expression is curiously blank.
Come to think of it, soโs the tone of her voice.
โWhatisitareyouokay?โย Adam streaks past us, his freckles standing out in stark relief on his suddenly pale face. His eyes move frantically over her. โIs it theโโ
โMeadowcrest Ranch called. There was a fire.โ
โA fire,โ Adam repeats incredulously and with a confusing amount of relief.
โAdam,โ Grace says, exasperation weaving through her tone like a stiff breeze. โOur wedding venue caught on fire. Itโsย gone.โ