Do you want me to take it out?
AT ELEVEN THIRTY, SHANE BARRELS THROUGH MY OPEN DOOR BEFOREย I can
even invite him in. Which I wasnโt planning to do because itโs late Thursday night and Iโm in the middle of anย FoFย marathon. Iโm two episodes behind.
โIโm drunk,โ he announces.
I gape at him as he brazenly breezes into my living room. Heโs wearing cargo shorts and a tank top, and for some reason, heโs holding a brown paper bag in his hands.
โYou realize you donโt live here, right?โ
โIย shouldย live here,โ he says nonsensically.
His brown eyes drift toward the TV screen, which is paused on Donovanโs sleazy British face.
โSweet. Letโs do this. We need to catch up before Saturday.โ I press my lips together to stop a laugh. โWhyโs that?โ
โBecause Saturday is a Sugar Shack release.ย Superย important.โ He cocks an arrogant brow at my expression. โThatโs right, I know the lingo now. And you know what? Iโm not ashamed to say I like this show. Itโs entertaining. The women are hot. And some of the dudes are hilarious. Like the Connor. There isnโt a single episode where he doesnโt have me in hysterics.โ
Itโs a struggle not to fall on the floor laughing. Shaneโs drunk, all right.
No way would he admit any of this sober.
โAnd look! I even picked up refreshments.ย Andย I had to walk into the liquor store withย John Loganย and ask the clerk for assistance because I couldnโt find this on the shelf. I looked like a total loser. John Logan laughed at me, Dixon. Because ofย you.โ
With a flourish, he removes a bottle of the Pink Stuff from the paper bag.
Surprise flickers in my eyes. โYou stopped to buy my favorite drink?โ โOnly the best for my fake girlfriend.โ
A smile creeps onto my face despite my resistance. Damn it. I hate to admit it, but this jackass is growing on me.
โFine,โ I relent, taking the pink bottle from him. โIโll get us some glasses.โ
As I walk to the kitchen, Shane ambles toward the fish tank. โWhatโs up, Skip?โ he greets the goldfish. โHey, Dixon,โ he calls over his shoulder. โAre we sure heโs in good health? He looks fat.โ
โOh, heโs in terrible health. Heโs on diet food.โ โThereโs diet fish food?โ
โYeah, I have to special order it from some weird lady in Florida. She makes it herself. But it doesnโt matter what I do to try to help this asshole. He doesnโt lose weight.โ
โAww, leave him alone. Heโs just a husky boy who loves his pirateโs chest.โ
I grin when I see Shane peering into the tank, his face pressed up right against the glass.
โHeโs got, like, dead eyes.โ
โI know. Itโs very unnerving.โ I carry two wineglasses filled to the brim with pink liquid and set them both on the coffee table. โHow was your hockey thing?โ
โLegends, Dixon. I spent the whole day and night withย legends.โ He sighs happily. โIt was fucking spectacular.โ
โIโm glad you had a good time.โ I reach for the remote. โAll right. Thereโs a selection ceremony at the end of this episode. Any predictions about who Marissa is going to choose?โ
โOne hundred percent Steven.โ
โHate to break it to you, but sheโs totally making a play for Connor.โ โNo way. Zoeyโs too beloved. You canโt be the person to send Zoey
home and expect to win a single vote in the finale. Even Marissaโs not that dumb. Iโm sticking with Steven.โ
I sip my drink and focus on the screen. About ten minutes in, Ky and new boy Juan get to spend the night in the Sugar Suite.
And Iโm not going to lie. It gets hot.
I gulp down some more alcohol as the couple starts making out on a white bed adorned with rose petals. Thereโs no actual nudity, but we catch tantalizing glimpses of Ky tossing her lacy red bra onto the floor. Juan sliding her thong down her tanned legs. Juanโs boxers getting flung across the suite.
A second later, the couple is under the duvet, and it looks like heโs operating a jackhammer in there.
โThatโs ferociously fast,โ I remark. โAnd they went from kissing to super penetration in five seconds. Whereโs the foreplay?โ
โWhatโs super penetration?โ
โThat. The entire bed is shaking. How is this fun for her? Thereโs no way this girlโs having an orgasm.โ
โI donโt know. Maybe she asked for it. Maybe she was like,ย Donโt go down on me, Juan. I need to be pounded, preferably at a speed of sixty miles an hour, in order to come.โ
I burst out laughing, nearly spitting my drink all over the couch. โWhat about you?โ Shane asks curiously.
โWhat about me?โ โWhat gets you off?โ
โNope.โ I set down my glass. โWe are not talking about this.โ โWhy not?โ
โBecause weโre in a fake relationship. Weโre not friends who talk about their kinks.โ
โI think we should reevaluate your fake-girlfriend duties.โ
โMy only duties are to make you appear somewhat palatable to your ex- girlfriend.โ
โOh, fuck off.โ He polishes off the rest of his drink and leans forward to refill his glass.
โYouโre hitting the pink stuff pretty hard,โ I say, lifting a brow. โIโm already drunk. Whatโs a bit more drunker?โ
โWas that English?โ
Shaneโs not paying attention to me anymore. โHoly shit, did this chickย reallyย just tell the Connor that she can make him happier than Zoey? Swear to God, if she picks him, Iโm gonnaโshut up, Dixon! Shut up. Jeffโs about to pick.โ
โIโm not talking. Youโre the one whoโs talking!โ
I can honestly say that Drunk Shane might be my favorite Shane.
We cheer when Jeff picks Leni, breaking her bond with Donovan. Then itโs the moment of truth. Marissa, the brunette whoโs shaken up the hacienda, stands and smooths out the bottom of her white minidress. The camera pans from Stevenโs face to Connorโs. Theyโre the two guys sheโs been talking to the most and the two guys in the most solid relationships.
โIf Stevenโs picked, you and I become friends with benefits,โ Shane pipes up. โIf itโs the Connor, I go home and jerk off.โ
I snort. โEither way you go home and jerk off, sweetie.โ
โI have no loyalties here,โ Marissa tells the group. โI came in here knowing I was going to ruffle some feathers. Tonight, I have to stay true to my heart and choose the person I think I have the strongest connection with. So, the boy I want to walk the path to forever with isโฆโ The music grows dramatic. โโฆConnor.โ
Shane growls in outrage as Zoeyโs heartbroken face fills the screen. โI told you,โ I say with a sigh.
The host of the show addresses the group in her crisp British accent.
โZoey and Donovan, your bonds have been broken. You will join the other singles in the Sugar Shack. Iโm sorry, but it was just a fling. The rest of you are still on the road to forever.โ
Shane is agape, so upset about Zoeyโs banishment that I canโt help but reach over to squeeze his arm. Of course, he chooses that moment to move his arm, and my hand ends up in his lap instead.
Grinning, he peers down at his crotch. โIf you wanted to undo my pants, you could have just asked.โ
I snatch my hand back. โIโm not undoing your pants.โ
โWould it kill you to admit that youโre attracted to me?โ
It might. Because Iโm not attracted to men like Shane. The annoying kind. The cocky kind. Iโve dated athletes before, but Iโm drawn to a specific personality type. Someone with a more level head. Someone more mature than me, if Iโm being honest. Someone to keep me in line when my temper strikes. Shane only activates it. Weโd be way too fiery together.
On one hand, that means the s*x has the potential to be off-the-charts hot.
On the other hand, Iโm not opening that door. Not because Iโm against casual s*x. Sometimes I prefer it depending on the man. But going there with Shane feels like a bad idea. Heโs best friends with my best friendโs husbandย andย he lives next door. If a s*xual relationship explodes in our face
โwhich seems quite likely judging by our clashing personalitiesโitโll only make things awkward, and then Iโll have two people in Meadow Hill I need to avoid. Itโs in my best interest to resist this temptation.
โDonโt you think itโs time you were honest with yourself?โ Shaneโs question drips with seduction.
I try to scoot away, but he stops me by taking my hand. His fingertips brush against mine.
โYouโve already kissed me thrice,โ he continues. A laugh pops out. โThrice, huh?โ
โMmm-hmm.โ Those dark eyes linger on me, looking me up and down.
Is he picturing me naked? I have a feeling he is.
โFirst time on a dare, second time for the benefit of your ex, third time for the benefit of mine.โ
โDoesnโt matter what the motivation was. All that matters is the end result.โ
โWhat was the end result?โ I find myself asking. โIt got you wet.โ
A bolt of heat spears into me. I walked right into that one.
I swallow. โNo, it didnโt.โ
โDixon, donโt lie to me. Youโre better than that. I can tell from your expression that Iโm right.โ He lets out a ragged groan. โWhy do you have to be so stubborn? You want this as much as I do.โ
That catches me off-guard. โYou want it?โ โAre you kidding? Of course I do.โ
My cheeks grow warm in response. โWell, that doesnโt matter because itโs not happening.โ
Frustration thickens his voice. โSo thereโs nothing I can say or do to convince you to go into that bedroom with me? Nothing at all?โ
โNothing,โ I answer, pretending my mouth isnโt dryer than cotton. โYouโre wasting your time.โ
โWhat if I kissed you?โ
โYouโd have to ask me first, and I donโt consent.โ โWhat if I take off my pants?โ
โWell, then youโll be sitting there with no pants on.โ โYouโre infuriating.โ
โBecause I wonโt have s*x with you?โ
โNo, because you canโt admit you want to.โ
โItโs a new sensation for you, isnโt it? Rejection.โ โI can handle rejection. I canโt handle lies.โ
โYou lied pretty easily to Lynsey about our fake relationship.โ โYou have an answer for everything.โ
I let out a breath. โItโs not a good idea. To be honest, half the time I think youโre messing with me anyway. I donโt trust you. Youโre all over the
place, Lindley. One day youโre a fuckboy, the next day you want a relationship, the day after that you want to be friends with benefits. I canโt trust what you say.โ
Heโs incredulous. โYou really donโt trust that Iโm attracted to you?ย Lookย at this.โ He smooths his hand over his cargo shorts, stretching the fabric taut so I can see the erection pressing against it. โIโve got a semi, and thatโs just from you arguing with me.โ
I almost choke on my tongue. Thatโs a semi? God, I was right. His generous penis is way more than generous. Whatโs bigger than generous? Considerable? Substantial?
โYou like what you see,โ he says knowingly.
Realizing Iโve been staring at his crotch, I wrestle my gaze away. โAdmit it. You want your hand to be the hand thatโs doing this.โ He
cups his substantial package and smirks at me.
My throat goes arid. I cough when he starts dragging his palm up and down the length of him. โOh my God,โ I croak.
โOh my God, what? Would you like me to stop?โ
Iโm glued to my seat, watching him intently. And Iโm not even drunk.
Thereโs no excuse for this behavior.
โTell me to stop.โ Desire etches into his features as his hand continues its lazy strokes.
I open my mouth. I want to try to form the wordย stop. But no sound comes out.
โYou know what I think? I think you want to know what itโs like,โ Shane drawls.
I gulp again. โWhat whatโs like?โ
โBeing with someone when youโre not the one calling the shots in the bedroom.โ
I donโt expect that answer. โWhat makes you think I call the shots in the bedroom?โ
โYour personality.โ He chuckles. Still stroking himself. And yeah, the bulge is even bigger now. He catches where my gaze has gone and arches a brow. โDo you want me to take it out?โ
I manage to choke out the word โNo.โ
He drags his tongue over his top lip. โOkay. Weโll save that for later.
Anyway, back to your bossiness in the bedroom.โ โIโm not bossy in the bedroom.โ
Heโs right, though. Iย doย call the shots. I like to dictate encounters, control the pace. Percy was good at letting me do that. Initially I expected him to be more dominant because of his age, but he was fairly submissive in bed. If anything, he tried to make it more emotional. Softer. Whenever I wanted it to be dirtier, heโd make me feel embarrassed for even asking.
Shane isnโt going to be submissive.
And maybe thatโs why Iโm fighting it so hard. Because heโs not wrong
โmy entire body is on fire. Iย amย wet, and my clit is throbbing. I want his mouth on me. I want his dick in me.
I cough again, squirming on the couch.
โSay the word,โ he says mockingly. โSay the word and Iโll give it to you.โ
Somehow, I manage to regain my faculties. โNo.โ
After a long, strained silence, he curses in frustration. โFine. Then if youโll excuse me, Iโm going to go next door and take care of this.โ
โFine,โ I echo weakly.
And I stay rooted in my seat and let him go.