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Chapter no 4 – Conspiracy

The Count of Monte Cristo

Danglars followed Edmond and Mercรฉdรจs with his eyes until the two lovers disappeared behind one of the angles of Fort Saint Nicolas; then, turning round, he perceived Fernand, who had fallen, pale and trembling, into his chair, while Caderousse stammered out the words of a drinking-song.

โ€œWell, my dear sir,โ€ said Danglars to Fernand, โ€œhere is a marriage which does not appear to make everybody happy.โ€

โ€œIt drives me to despair,โ€ said Fernand.

โ€œDo you, then, love Mercรฉdรจs?โ€

โ€œI adore her!โ€

โ€œFor long?โ€

โ€œAs long as I have known herโ€”always.โ€

โ€œAnd you sit there, tearing your hair, instead of seeking to remedy your condition; I did not think that was the way of your people.โ€

โ€œWhat would you have me do?โ€ said Fernand.

โ€œHow do I know? Is it my affair? I am not in love with Mademoiselle Mercรฉdรจs; but for youโ€”in the words of the gospel, seek, and you shall find.โ€

โ€œI have found already.โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œI would stab the man, but the woman told me that if any misfortune happened to her betrothed, she would kill herself.โ€

โ€œPooh! Women say those things, but never do them.โ€

โ€œYou do not know Mercรฉdรจs; what she threatens she will do.โ€

โ€œIdiot!โ€ muttered Danglars; โ€œwhether she kill herself or not, what matter, provided Dantรจs is not captain?โ€

โ€œBefore Mercรฉdรจs should die,โ€ replied Fernand, with the accents of unshaken resolution, โ€œI would die myself!โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s what I call love!โ€ said Caderousse with a voice more tipsy than ever. โ€œThatโ€™s love, or I donโ€™t know what love is.โ€

โ€œCome,โ€ said Danglars, โ€œyou appear to me a good sort of fellow, and hang me, I should like to help you, butโ€”โ€”โ€

โ€œYes,โ€ said Caderousse, โ€œbut how?โ€

โ€œMy dear fellow,โ€ replied Danglars, โ€œyou are three parts drunk; finish the bottle, and you will be completely so. Drink then, and do not meddle with what we are discussing, for that requires all oneโ€™s wit and cool judgment.โ€

โ€œIโ€”drunk!โ€ said Caderousse; โ€œwell thatโ€™s a good one! I could drink four more such bottles; they are no bigger than cologne flasks. Pรจre Pamphile, more wine!โ€

And Caderousse rattled his glass upon the table.

โ€œYou were saying, sirโ€”โ€”โ€ said Fernand, awaiting with great anxiety the end of this interrupted remark.

โ€œWhat was I saying? I forget. This drunken Caderousse has made me lose the thread of my sentence.โ€

โ€œDrunk, if you like; so much the worse for those who fear wine, for it is because they have bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from their hearts;โ€ and Caderousse began to sing the two last lines of a song very popular at the time:

โ€˜Tous les mรฉchants sont buveurs dโ€™eau;
Cโ€™est bien prouvรฉ par le dรฉluge.โ€™

โ€œYou said, sir, you would like to help me, butโ€”โ€”โ€

โ€œYes; but I added, to help you it would be sufficient that Dantรจs did not marry her you love; and the marriage may easily be thwarted, methinks, and yet Dantรจs need not die.โ€

โ€œDeath alone can separate them,โ€ remarked Fernand.

โ€œYou talk like a noodle, my friend,โ€ said Caderousse; โ€œand here is Danglars, who is a wide-awake, clever, deep fellow, who will prove to you that you are wrong. Prove it, Danglars. I have answered for you. Say there is no need why Dantรจs should die; it would, indeed, be a pity he should. Dantรจs is a good fellow; I like Dantรจs. Dantรจs, your health.โ€

Fernand rose impatiently. โ€œLet him run on,โ€ said Danglars, restraining the young man; โ€œdrunk as he is, he is not much out in what he says. Absence severs as well as death, and if the walls of a prison were between Edmond and Mercรฉdรจs they would be as effectually separated as if he lay under a tombstone.โ€

0056m

โ€œYes; but one gets out of prison,โ€ said Caderousse, who, with what sense was left him, listened eagerly to the conversation, โ€œand when one gets out and oneโ€™s name is Edmond Dantรจs, one seeks revengeโ€”โ€”โ€

โ€œWhat matters that?โ€ muttered Fernand.

โ€œAnd why, I should like to know,โ€ persisted Caderousse, โ€œshould they put Dantรจs in prison? he has neither robbed, nor killed, nor murdered.โ€

โ€œHold your tongue!โ€ said Danglars.

โ€œI wonโ€™t hold my tongue!โ€ replied Caderousse; โ€œI say I want to know why they should put Dantรจs in prison; I like Dantรจs; Dantรจs, your health!โ€ and he swallowed another glass of wine.

0057m

Danglars saw in the muddled look of the tailor the progress of his intoxication, and turning towards Fernand, said, โ€œWell, you understand there is no need to kill him.โ€

โ€œCertainly not, if, as you said just now, you have the means of having Dantรจs arrested. Have you that means?โ€

โ€œIt is to be found for the searching. But why should I meddle in the matter? it is no affair of mine.โ€

โ€œI know not why you meddle,โ€ said Fernand, seizing his arm; โ€œbut this I know, you have some motive of personal hatred against Dantรจs, for he who himself hates is never mistaken in the sentiments of others.โ€

โ€œI! motives of hatred against Dantรจs? None, on my word! I saw you were unhappy, and your unhappiness interested me; thatโ€™s all; but since you believe I act for my own account, adieu, my dear friend, get out of the affair as best you may;โ€ and Danglars rose as if he meant to depart.

โ€œNo, no,โ€ said Fernand, restraining him, โ€œstay! It is of very little consequence to me at the end of the matter whether you have any angry feeling or not against Dantรจs. I hate him! I confess it openly. Do you find the means, I will execute it, provided it is not to kill the man, for Mercรฉdรจs has declared she will kill herself if Dantรจs is killed.โ€

Caderousse, who had let his head drop on the table, now raised it, and looking at Fernand with his dull and fishy eyes, he said, โ€œKill Dantรจs! who talks of killing Dantรจs? I wonโ€™t have him killedโ€”I wonโ€™t! Heโ€™s my friend, and this morning offered to share his money with me, as I shared mine with him. I wonโ€™t have Dantรจs killedโ€”I wonโ€™t!โ€

โ€œAnd who has said a word about killing him, muddlehead?โ€ replied Danglars. โ€œWe were merely joking; drink to his health,โ€ he added, filling Caderousseโ€™s glass, โ€œand do not interfere with us.โ€

โ€œYes, yes, Dantรจsโ€™ good health!โ€ said Caderousse, emptying his glass, โ€œhereโ€™s to his health! his healthโ€”hurrah!โ€

โ€œBut the meansโ€”the means?โ€ said Fernand.

โ€œHave you not hit upon any?โ€ asked Danglars.

โ€œNo!โ€”you undertook to do so.โ€

โ€œTrue,โ€ replied Danglars; โ€œthe French have the superiority over the Spaniards, that the Spaniards ruminate, while the French invent.โ€

โ€œDo you invent, then,โ€ said Fernand impatiently.

โ€œWaiter,โ€ said Danglars, โ€œpen, ink, and paper.โ€

โ€œPen, ink, and paper,โ€ muttered Fernand.

โ€œYes; I am a supercargo; pen, ink, and paper are my tools, and without my tools I am fit for nothing.โ€

โ€œPen, ink, and paper, then,โ€ called Fernand loudly.

โ€œThereโ€™s what you want on that table,โ€ said the waiter.

โ€œBring them here.โ€ The waiter did as he was desired.

0059m

โ€œWhen one thinks,โ€ said Caderousse, letting his hand drop on the paper, โ€œthere is here wherewithal to kill a man more sure than if we waited at the corner of a wood to assassinate him! I have always had more dread of a pen, a bottle of ink, and a sheet of paper, than of a sword or pistol.โ€

โ€œThe fellow is not so drunk as he appears to be,โ€ said Danglars. โ€œGive him some more wine, Fernand.โ€ Fernand filled Caderousseโ€™s glass, who, like the confirmed toper he was, lifted his hand from the paper and seized the glass.

The Catalan watched him until Caderousse, almost overcome by this fresh assault on his senses, rested, or rather dropped, his glass upon the table.

โ€œWell!โ€ resumed the Catalan, as he saw the final glimmer of Caderousseโ€™s reason vanishing before the last glass of wine.

โ€œWell, then, I should say, for instance,โ€ resumed Danglars, โ€œthat if after a voyage such as Dantรจs has just made, in which he touched at the Island of Elba, someone were to denounce him to the kingโ€™s procureur as a Bonapartist agentโ€”โ€”โ€

โ€œI will denounce him!โ€ exclaimed the young man hastily.

โ€œYes, but they will make you then sign your declaration, and confront you with him you have denounced; I will supply you with the means of supporting your accusation, for I know the fact well. But Dantรจs cannot remain forever in prison, and one day or other he will leave it, and the day when he comes out, woe betide him who was the cause of his incarceration!โ€

โ€œOh, I should wish nothing better than that he would come and seek a quarrel with me.โ€

โ€œYes, and Mercรฉdรจs! Mercรฉdรจs, who will detest you if you have only the misfortune to scratch the skin of her dearly beloved Edmond!โ€

โ€œTrue!โ€ said Fernand.

โ€œNo, no,โ€ continued Danglars; โ€œif we resolve on such a step, it would be much better to take, as I now do, this pen, dip it into this ink, and write with the left hand (that the writing may not be recognized) the denunciation we propose.โ€ And Danglars, uniting practice with theory, wrote with his left hand, and in a writing reversed from his usual style, and totally unlike it, the following lines, which he handed to Fernand, and which Fernand read in an undertone:

โ€œThe honorable, the kingโ€™s attorney, is informed by a friend of the throne and religion, that one Edmond Dantรจs, mate of the shipย Pharaon, arrived this morning from Smyrna, after having touched at Naples and Porto-Ferrajo, has been intrusted by Murat with a letter for the usurper, and by the usurper with a letter for the Bonapartist committee in Paris. Proof of this crime will be found on arresting him, for the letter will be found upon him, or at his fatherโ€™s, or in his cabin on board theย Pharaon.โ€

โ€œVery good,โ€ resumed Danglars; โ€œnow your revenge looks like common sense, for in no way can it revert to yourself, and the matter will thus work its own way; there is nothing to do now but fold the letter as I am doing, and write upon it, โ€˜To the kingโ€™s attorney,โ€™ and thatโ€™s all settled.โ€ And Danglars wrote the address as he spoke.

โ€œYes, and thatโ€™s all settled!โ€ exclaimed Caderousse, who, by a last effort of intellect, had followed the reading of the letter, and instinctively comprehended all the misery which such a denunciation must entail. โ€œYes, and thatโ€™s all settled; only it will be an infamous shame;โ€ and he stretched out his hand to reach the letter.

โ€œYes,โ€ said Danglars, taking it from beyond his reach; โ€œand as what I say and do is merely in jest, and I, amongst the first and foremost, should be sorry if anything happened to Dantรจsโ€”the worthy Dantรจsโ€”look here!โ€ And taking the letter, he squeezed it up in his hands and threw it into a corner of the arbor.

โ€œAll right!โ€ said Caderousse. โ€œDantรจs is my friend, and I wonโ€™t have him ill-used.โ€

โ€œAnd who thinks of using him ill? Certainly neither I nor Fernand,โ€ said Danglars, rising and looking at the young man, who still remained seated, but whose eye was fixed on the denunciatory sheet of paper flung into the corner.

โ€œIn this case,โ€ replied Caderousse, โ€œletโ€™s have some more wine. I wish to drink to the health of Edmond and the lovely Mercรฉdรจs.โ€

โ€œYou have had too much already, drunkard,โ€ said Danglars; โ€œand if you continue, you will be compelled to sleep here, because unable to stand on your legs.โ€

โ€œI?โ€ said Caderousse, rising with all the offended dignity of a drunken man, โ€œI canโ€™t keep on my legs? Why, Iโ€™ll wager I can go up into the belfry of the Accoules, and without staggering, too!โ€

โ€œDone!โ€ said Danglars, โ€œIโ€™ll take your bet; but tomorrowโ€”today it is time to return. Give me your arm, and let us go.โ€

โ€œVery well, let us go,โ€ said Caderousse; โ€œbut I donโ€™t want your arm at all. Come, Fernand, wonโ€™t you return to Marseilles with us?โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ said Fernand; โ€œI shall return to the Catalans.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re wrong. Come with us to Marseillesโ€”come along.โ€

โ€œI will not.โ€

โ€œWhat do you mean? you will not? Well, just as you like, my prince; thereโ€™s liberty for all the world. Come along, Danglars, and let the young gentleman return to the Catalans if he chooses.โ€

Danglars took advantage of Caderousseโ€™s temper at the moment, to take him off towards Marseilles by the Porte Saint-Victor, staggering as he went.

When they had advanced about twenty yards, Danglars looked back and saw Fernand stoop, pick up the crumpled paper, and putting it into his pocket then rush out of the arbor towards Pillon.

โ€œWell,โ€ said Caderousse, โ€œwhy, what a lie he told! He said he was going to the Catalans, and he is going to the city. Hallo, Fernand! You are coming, my boy!โ€

โ€œOh, you donโ€™t see straight,โ€ said Danglars; โ€œheโ€™s gone right by the road to the Vieilles Infirmeries.โ€

โ€œWell,โ€ said Caderousse, โ€œI should have sworn that he turned to the rightโ€”how treacherous wine is!โ€

โ€œCome, come,โ€ said Danglars to himself, โ€œnow the thing is at work and it will effect its purpose unassisted.โ€

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