I wished Elisson would make up his mind.
Throw me out of the water. Drag me into the water. Pummel me with
sarcasm. There were so many interesting ways to kill me, he couldn’t decide. To be clear, I’m not an easy person to drown. But when there’s a river god tossing me around at the bottom of his grotto, flushing gunk through my nostrils and mouth, it’s like trying to breathe in a sandstorm. I was blind and
disoriented, slamming into rocks, unable to concentrate.
And that made me angry.
Demigod powers can be weird. Back when I was ten or eleven, things just happened, and I didn’t understand why. Fountains would come alive. Toilets would explode. Controlling water was something I did instinctively, only when I was scared or angry—kind of like the Hulk, except with plumbing. As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned to control my powers, more or less. Now I can make your lawn sprinklers explode on command. (I rent myself out for kids’ birthday parties. Call me.)
But despite my better control, there are still moments when my power gets away from me. It’s kind of like if you think, Oh, I’m too mature to cry like a little kid, and then you see a movie about a cute puppy that gets lost, and you start bawling. Or you think you’ve got your temper under control, then you get a bad grade and throw a world-class tantrum, so your skateboard ends up sticking out of your bedroom wall, impaling your favorite Jimi Hendrix poster. These are purely hypothetical examples, of course.
Anyway, that’s what happened at the bottom of Elisson’s pool. As I was tossed around, flipped, and pummeled like laundry on a heavy-duty cycle, my control crumbled. I was a scared kid again, screaming for the big bad world to leave me alone. My rage exploded.
And so did the river. It blasted away from me in every direction, putting me at ground zero of the detonation—curled up alone in a bubble of air, howling so loudly I could hear myself even over the roar of the torrent. Some part of me had reached outward . . . not just into the pool, but to the source of the river, deep down in the Underworld or maybe Yonkers, and I had pulled it up by its roots. Millions of metric tons of water roared through the cavern, flooding the pool, scouring the cliffs, surging over the riverbanks, and probably surprising a whole bunch of snakes bathing downstream.
At last, the water crashed back around me, settling into its normal flow again.
I was trembling, strung out, and terrified by what I’d done. I don’t know how long it took me to regain my senses. Seconds? Minutes? As the silt cleared, I looked up and had one clear thought: Annabeth. If I had accidentally washed her into the Atlantic, I would never forgive myself.
I shot to the surface.
I shouldn’t have worried. On the ledge above, Annabeth sat with her ankles crossed, talking calmly with a very rattled Elisson. The river god leaned against her like a shell-shocked refugee, shivering and completely coated with river silt. His man bun had come unraveled, so his hair now looked like a dying yucca plant.
“I—I had no idea,” he said, sniffling.
“There, there.” Annabeth put her arm around his shoulders. “It’s okay.
He can be scary when he gets worked up.”
I floated in the pool, wondering if I had surfaced in some alternate dimension. Annabeth was comforting the dude who’d just tried to drown me, and she seemed to be calling me scary. Then she looked down and winked at me—a sign that meant, Just go with it.
“You have to admit, though,” she told Elisson, “Percy did a great job.” A great job? I wondered. What was she talking about?
My head wound seemed to have healed itself in the water, so I probably wasn’t hallucinating.
Then I scanned the grotto. My tidal wave had swept the cliff walls right up to Annabeth’s feet, leaving the rock sparkling clean. Now that the sediment had resettled, the pool was even clearer than before. The air smelled fresh and crisp, with that “new river” smell restored. The current flowed stronger and colder, rushing through the cavern with a jubilant clamor like an audience unleashed onto the streets after a great performance. I had apparently given the River Elisson my super-deluxe Poseidon Wash package, complete with triple-foam conditioner, undercarriage rust
protection, and extreme shine wax.
I looked around for the staff of rainbows. I didn’t see it. With my luck, I’d probably blasted it all the way to Harlem.
Annabeth was still patting Elisson’s shoulder, making comforting sounds. When I locked eyes with her, she pointed with her chin, telling me to look downriver, but I still didn’t see anything.
Elisson shuddered. “I . . . I didn’t know I had so much water pressure.” “The flow is great now,” Annabeth said. “It should help with your
vinyasa.”
“You think so?”
“Absolutely. And I’ve never seen a cleaner river. If you find any spots Percy missed, though, I’m sure he could—”
“No!” Elisson yelped. “No, it’s wonderful.”
He said wonderful as if it meant extremely painful.
“Sorry,” I blurted out. I couldn’t believe I was apologizing for rescuing myself from a guy who had tried to kill me, but I felt bad for him. “I got a little carried away.”
He winced. “No . . . no, I asked if you could clean the river. And you did.
That will teach me to use sarcasm.” For once, he didn’t sound sarcastic.
Annabeth gestured downstream again, like she was telling me, Right there, dummy.
This time I saw what she was pointing at. About thirty feet away, Iris’s staff had wedged itself into a crevice right above the waterline. The oak shaft gleamed. The elaborate herald’s crest glowed with a warm yellow light, not a speck of grime on its Celestial bronze designs.
“Uh, if it’s okay,” I said, “I’m just going to . . .” I pointed to the staff.
Elisson wouldn’t meet my eyes. He only nodded. I had the feeling he would’ve had the same reaction if I’d demanded he hand over his wallet.
Wow, I was such a terrible person.
As I swam downstream, I heard a faint strand of music drifting through the air: Grover’s panpipes, somewhere far across the cavern. He’d given up on Duran Duran. Now he was playing the Beatles’ “Help!” I took this as a subtle message that he was getting tired of leading the snake parade.
I grabbed Iris’s staff and swam back to Annabeth and Elisson. I was hoping that Annabeth might throw me the rope and help me up, but she didn’t look like she was in any hurry to say good-bye to the river god. In fact, she had pulled out her thermos and was pouring him a hot beverage.
“So this is a nice rose hip–chamomile blend,” she told him. “I think you’ll find it soothing.”
Elisson sipped the tea. “Lovely.” “What is going on?” I asked.
I wasn’t really expecting an answer, which was good, since I didn’t get one.
“How often a day?” Elisson asked Annabeth.
“Oh, I’d try morning and evening,” she said. “Also, anytime you want to meditate. Here.” She handed him a couple of extra packets. “No caffeine. I’d stay away from that green tea. It’s stressing you out.”
“I suppose you’re right,” the god sighed. “So, for a new schedule . . . perhaps we could reserve every other Saturday for demigods to clean sacred objects. Is—is that fair?”
“More than fair,” Annabeth said.
“Totally,” I agreed. “But right now, we’ve got a friend being chased by snakes.”
Annabeth frowned, like I was ruining a nice moment, but Elisson drained his teacup and handed it back to her. “Of course. Good luck saving your friend. And, uh . . .” He swallowed nervously. “If you were serious about a whale yoga course at Poseidon’s palace . . .”
“Oh, I never kid about whale yoga,” I promised him. “I’ll put in a word with my dad.”
Elisson wiped his nose. “Thank you, Percy Jackson. And, Annabeth Chase, you’ve been very kind.”
Then, clutching his packets of herbal tea, Elisson liquefied and spilled over the side of the cliff. I moved out of the way because I didn’t want to get rained on by his runoff.
Once I was fairly sure he was gone, I looked up at Annabeth. “You brought tea? While I’m down here getting tossed around, you’re literally drinking tea?”
She shrugged. “Iris told us he was into yoga. I figured herbal tea might be a good offering.”
She said this as if her line of reasoning made perfect sense, like of course x = 2yz3 where x is yoga and y is tea.
“Sure,” I said. “Got anything else in there that might help us rescue
Grover?”
“Bien sûr,” she said, which I think is French for What do you think, Seaweed Brain? She dug a paper bag from her backpack and shook the contents. “Snake treats. The guy at the store recommended hamster flavor.”
“I have so many questions.”
“We should get going. We’re wasting time.”
“You sure we don’t have time for another cup of Meditation Magic?
How about you throw me that rope.”
“Not necessary.” She got to her feet. “Just swim downstream. I’ll turn invisible. . . .” She pulled out her magic New York Yankees cap—her favorite get out of jail free fashion accessory. “I’ll go east and find Grover, distract the snakes with these treats, and get him out of danger.”
“While I head west and make myself a new target,” I guessed.
“Exactly,” she said. “Once the snakes are following you, we’ll circle back and rendezvous with you at the cave entrance.”
“And, uh, do I get hamster-flavored Snakie Bakies?” “You won’t need them.”
“Then what am I supposed to distract them with? And more importantly, how do I get away from them once I’ve gotten their attention? Because, you know, those are the kinds of details I like to have covered.”
Annabeth’s smile told me I was going to hate her reply almost as much as I hated getting pushed off ledges. “You’ve got Iris’s staff. You’ve got the best job of all.”
