I give you my heart
I mean metaphorically Put away that knife
I could think of many names to call Caligula. Pal was not one of them.
Nevertheless, Incitatus seemed perfectly at home in the emperor’s presence. He trotted to starboard, where two pandai began brushing his coat while a third knelt to offer him oats from a golden bucket.
Jason Grace lashed out in his wind tunnel of shrapnel, trying to break free. He cast a distressed look at Piper and yelled something I couldn’t hear. In the other wind column, Meg floated with her arms and legs crossed, scowling like an angry genie, ignoring the bits of metal cutting her face.
Caligula stepped down from his dais. He strolled between the wind columns with a jaunty lilt in his step, no doubt the effect of wearing a yacht-captain outfit. He stopped a few feet in front of me. In his open palm, he bounced two small bits of gold – Meg McCaffrey’s rings.
‘This must be the lovely Piper McLean.’ He frowned down at her, as if just realizing she was barely conscious. ‘Why is she like this? I can’t taunt her in this condition. Reverb!’
The praetor commander snapped his fingers. Two guards shuffled forward and dragged Piper to her feet. One waved a small bottle under her nose –smelling salts, perhaps, or some vile magical equivalent of Medea’s.
Piper’s head snapped back. A shudder ran through her body, then she pushed the pandai away.
‘I’m fine.’ She blinked at her surroundings, saw Jason and Meg in their wind columns, then glared at Caligula. She struggled to pull her knife, but her fingers didn’t seem to work. ‘I’ll kill you.’
Caligula chuckled. ‘That would be amusing, my love. But let’s not kill each other quite yet, eh? Tonight, I have other priorities.’
He beamed at me. ‘Oh, Lester. What a gift Jupiter has given me!’ He walked a circuit around me, running his fingertips along my shoulders as if checking for dust. I suppose I should have attacked him, but Caligula radiated such cool confidence, such a powerful aura that it befuddled my mind.
‘Not much left of your godliness, is there?’ he said. ‘Don’t worry. Medea will coax it out of you. Then I’ll take revenge on Zeus for you. Have some comfort in that.’
‘I – I don’t want revenge.’
‘Of course you do! It will be wonderful, just wait and see … Well, actually, you’ll be dead, but you’ll have to trust me. I’ll make you proud.’
‘Caesar,’ Medea called from her side of the dais, ‘perhaps we could begin soon?’
She did her best to hide it, but I heard the strain in her voice. As I’d seen in the parking garage of death, even Medea had her limits. Keeping Meg and Jason in twin tornadoes must have required a great deal of her strength. She couldn’t possibly maintain her ventus prisons and do whatever magic she needed to de-god me. If only I could figure out how to exploit that weakness
…
Annoyance flickered across Caligula’s face. ‘Yes, yes, Medea. In a moment. First, I must greet my loyal servants …’ He turned to the pandai who’d accompanied us from the ship of shoes. ‘Which of you is Wah-Wah?’
Wah-Wah bowed, his ears spreading across the mosaic floor. ‘H-here, sire.’ ‘Served me well, have you?’
‘Yes, sire!’ ‘Until today.’
The pandos looked like he was trying to swallow Tiny Tim’s ukulele. ‘They – they tricked us, lord! With horrible music!’
‘I see,’ Caligula said. ‘And how do you intend to make this right? How can I be sure of your loyalty?’
‘I – I pledge you my heart, sire! Now and always! My men and I –’ He clamped his huge hands over his mouth.
Caligula smiled blandly. ‘Oh, Reverb?’
His praetor commander stepped forward. ‘Lord?’ ‘You heard Wah-Wah?’
‘Yes, lord,’ Reverb agreed. ‘His heart is yours. And also his men’s hearts.’ ‘Well, then.’ Caligula flicked his fingers in a vague go away gesture. ‘Take
them outside and collect what is mine.’
The throne-room guards from the port side marched forward and seized Wah-Wah and his two lieutenants by the arms.
‘No!’ Wah-Wah screamed. ‘No, I – I didn’t mean –!’
He and his men thrashed and sobbed, but it was no use. The golden-armoured pandai dragged them away.
Reverb gestured at Crest, who stood trembling and whimpering next to Piper. ‘What about this one, sire?’
Caligula narrowed his eyes. ‘Remind me why this one has white fur?’ ‘He’s young, sire,’ Reverb said, not a trace of sympathy in his voice. ‘Our
people’s fur darkens with age.’
‘I see.’ Caligula stroked Crest’s face with the back of his hand, causing the young pandos to whimper even louder. ‘Leave him. He’s amusing, and he seems harmless enough. Now shoo, Commander. Bring me those hearts.’
Reverb bowed and hurried after his men.
My pulse hammered in my temples. I wanted to convince myself things were not so bad. Half the emperor’s guards and their commander had just left. Medea was under the strain of controlling two venti. That meant only six elite pandai, a killer horse and an immortal emperor to deal with. Now was the optimal time for me to execute my clever plan … if only I had one.
Caligula stepped to my side. He threw his arm around me like an old friend. ‘You see, Apollo? I’m not crazy. I’m not cruel. I just take people at their word. If you promise me your life, or your heart, or your wealth … then you should mean it, don’t you think?’
My eyes watered. I was too afraid to blink.
‘Your friend Piper, for instance,’ Caligula said. ‘She wanted to spend time with her dad. She resented his career. So, guess what? I took that career away! If she’d just gone to Oklahoma with him, like they’d planned, she could’ve got what she wanted! But does she thank me? No. She comes here to kill me.’
‘I will,’ Piper said, her voice a bit steadier. ‘Take my word on that.’ ‘Exactly my point,’ Caligula said. ‘No gratitude.’
He patted me on the chest, sending starbursts of pain across my bruised ribs. ‘And Jason Grace? He wants to be a priest or something, build shrines to the gods. Fine! I am a god. I have no problem with that! Then he comes here to wreck my yachts with lightning. Is that priestlike behaviour? I don’t think so.’
He strolled towards the swirling columns of wind. This left his back exposed, but neither Piper nor I moved to attack him. Even now, recalling it, I cannot tell you why. I felt so powerless, as if I were caught in a vision that had happened centuries before. For the first time, I sensed what it would be like if the Triumvirate controlled every Oracle. They would not just foresee the future – they would shape it. Their every word would become inexorable destiny.
‘And this one.’ Caligula studied Meg McCaffrey. ‘Her father once swore he wouldn’t rest until he reincarnated the blood-born, the silver wives! Can you believe it?’
Blood-born. Silver wives. Those words sent a jolt through my nervous system. I felt I should know what they meant, how they related to the seven
green seeds Meg had planted on the hillside. As usual, my human brain screamed in protest as I attempted to dredge the information from its depths. I could almost see the annoying FILE NOT FOUND message flashing behind my eyes.
Caligula grinned. ‘Well, of course I took Dr McCaffrey at his word! I burned his stronghold to the ground. But, honestly, I thought I was quite generous to let him and his daughter live. Little Meg had a wonderful life with my nephew Nero. If she’d just kept her promises to him …’ He wagged his finger disapprovingly at her.
On the starboard side of the room, Incitatus looked up from his golden oat bucket and belched. ‘Hey, Big C? Great speech and all. But shouldn’t we kill the two in the whirlwinds so Medea can turn her attention to flaying Lester alive? I really want to see that.’
‘Yes, please,’ Medea agreed, her teeth clenched. ‘NO!’ Piper shouted. ‘Caligula, let my friends go.’
Unfortunately, she could barely stand up straight. Her voice shook. Caligula chuckled. ‘My love, I’ve been trained to resist charmspeak by
Medea herself. You’ll have to do better than that if –’
‘Incitatus,’ Piper called, her voice a little stronger, ‘kick Medea in the head.’
Incitatus flared his nostrils. ‘I think I’ll kick Medea in the head.’
‘No, you won’t!’ Medea shrieked in a sharp burst of charmspeak. ‘Caligula, silence the girl!’
Caligula strode over to Piper. ‘Sorry, love.’
He backhanded her across the mouth so hard she turned a full circle before collapsing.
‘OHHH!’ Incitatus whinnied with pleasure. ‘Good one!’ I broke.
Never had I felt such rage. Not when I destroyed the entire family of Niobids for their insults. Not when I fought Heracles in the chamber of Delphi. Not even when I struck down the Cyclopes who had made my father’s murderous lightning.
I decided at that moment Piper McLean would not die tonight. I charged Caligula, intent on wrapping my hands around his neck. I wanted to strangle him to death, if only to wipe that smug smile off his face.
I felt sure my godly power would return. I would rip the emperor apart in my righteous fury.
Instead, Caligula pushed me to the floor with hardly a glance. ‘Please, Lester,’ he said. ‘You’re embarrassing yourself.’ Piper lay shivering as if she were cold.
Crest crouched nearby, trying in vain to cover his massive ears. No doubt he was regretting his decision to follow his dream of taking music lessons.
I fixed my eyes on the twin cyclones, hoping that Jason and Meg had somehow escaped. They had not, but strangely, as if by silent agreement, they seemed to have switched roles.
Rather than raging in response to Piper being struck, Jason now floated deathly still, his eyes closed, his face like stone. Meg, on the other hand, clawed at her ventus cage, screaming words I couldn’t hear. Her clothes were in tatters. Her face was crosshatched with a dozen bleeding cuts, but she didn’t seem to care. She kicked and punched and threw packets of seeds into the maelstrom, causing festive bursts of pansies and daffodils among the shrapnel.
By the imperial dais, Medea had turned pale and sweaty. Countering Piper’s charmspeak must have taxed her, but that gave me no comfort.
Reverb and his guards would soon be back, bearing the hearts of the emperor’s enemies.
A cold thought flooded through me. The hearts of his enemies.
I felt as if I had been backhanded. The emperor needed me alive, at least for the moment. Which meant my only leverage …
My expression must have been priceless. Caligula burst out laughing. ‘Apollo, you look like someone stepped on your favourite lyre!’ He tutted.
‘You think you’ve had it bad? I grew up as a hostage in my Uncle Tiberius’s palace. Do you have any idea how evil that man was? I woke up every day expecting to be assassinated, just like the rest of my family. I became a consummate actor. Whatever Tiberius needed me to be, I was. And I survived. But you? Your life has been golden from start to finish. You don’t have the stamina to be mortal.’
He turned to Medea. ‘Very well, sorceress! You may turn your little blenders up to puree and kill the two prisoners. Then we will deal with Apollo.’
Medea smiled. ‘Gladly.’
‘Wait!’ I screamed, pulling an arrow from my quiver.
The emperor’s remaining guards levelled their spears, but the emperor shouted, ‘HOLD!’
I didn’t try to draw my bow. I didn’t attack Caligula. Instead, I turned the arrow inward and pressed the point against my chest.
Caligula’s smile evaporated. He examined me with thinly veiled contempt. ‘Lester … what are you doing?’
‘Let my friends go,’ I said. ‘All of them. Then you can have me.’ The emperor’s eyes gleamed like a strix’s. ‘And if I don’t?’
I summoned my courage, and issued a threat I never could have imagined in my previous four thousand years of life. ‘I’ll kill myself.’
