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Chapter no 43

The Ballad of Never After (Once Upon a Broken Heart, 2)

Evangeline turned into a thousand pieces of panic. She kicked Apollo between the legs, but he was too heavy on top of her for her kicks to be effective. She was pinned to the bed by his body.

She tried to scream as his fingers crushed painfully against her windpipe.

Then he was choking, tooโ€”sputtering and coughing and losing his grip thanks to the mirror curse.

Evangeline could barely breathe, but as Apollo pulled away, she managed to grab the jar with the mirth stone and crawl out from under him.

Clumsily, she rolled off the bed. Everything was a blur. The dark room spun, candles flaring and smoking all at once. She was wheezing, stumbling on her legs. But somehow, she remembered the lever next to the bed.

She pulled on it with all her might. A cage immediately crashed down around Apollo. Bars clanked loudly into place, imprisoning him.

With a growl, he grabbed the bars. His face was feral, eyes still glowing red, but his words were a plea. โ€œIโ€™m sorry, Evangeline. I really donโ€™t want to hurt you!โ€

โ€œI know.โ€ She staggered back. Intoโ€”

Jacks.

Veins pulsed in his neck; murder flared in his eyes as he glared at Apollo.

โ€œGo,โ€ he ordered Evangeline.

โ€œYou canโ€™t hurt him,โ€ she panted, and she tugged on Jacksโ€™s shirt to get him to leave. โ€œIf you hurt him, it also hurts me. Remember?โ€

Jacks groaned something like,ย โ€œSomeday I will kill him.โ€

He put an arm around Evangeline.

โ€œGet your hands off my wife!โ€ Apollo cried.

Jacks pulled her closer and urged her toward the door.

Evangeline felt horribly torn. She couldnโ€™t go back to Apolloโ€”not when he was like thisโ€”but leaving with Jacks felt like a different sort of agony. He was always there to rescue her, and then he always left.

He was rough as he took her from the room, only pausing to slam the door behind them before he turned to her again. โ€œWhat did he do to you?โ€ Jacksโ€™s jaw tensed when he saw

the blood staining her lips.

โ€œIโ€™m fineโ€”I justโ€”โ€ย I just need you to hold me.ย She wasnโ€™t able to say it. She wasnโ€™t even sure she projected the thought.

But then Jacks picked her up. She clung to him and buried her head in his shoulder.

He held her so tightly it hurt, but this pain she didnโ€™t mind. Sheโ€™d let him crush her, let him break her, just as long as he never let her go. This was what she wanted, and she refused to believe that he didnโ€™t want it, too.

She could feel his heart pound against her chest as he carried her into the room next door to hers. It was a mess. There were apples and cores all over the desk. The sheets on the bed were thrashed. The fire was burning more than just logs. Clearly, she wasnโ€™t the only one upset after theyโ€™d returned from the Hollow.

He kicked the door shut and brought her to the bed. โ€œLittle Fox, when I saw you, I thoughtโ€”โ€

He broke off as he set her atop all the twisted sheets. Then he fisted her hair in his hand and tugged until she was looking up at him. His face had all the agony of a fallen star, broken and beautiful, with eyes so blue, the color of everything else looked dull.

Deliberately, his gaze fell to her lips.

Her breathing turned ragged, and she wished just once that he could kiss her.

He leaned closer and gently twisted her hair, angling her head as he brought their mouths incredibly close.

โ€œYouโ€™re still bleeding.โ€ He licked the center of her lips, soft and agonizingly slow. His tongue felt like heaven and hell. Like everything she wanted and all she couldnโ€™t have. She had to stop herself from leaning closer, though she doubted Jacks would let her. She could feel his fingers against her scalp, holding her in place, keeping her lips just shy of his.

But maybe it was close enough. Maybe they didnโ€™t have to touch. She could live like this as long as she could live with him.

Then he let her go. He dropped her hair and stepped away from the bed, making her skin go suddenly cold.

โ€œWhatโ€™s wrong?โ€ she said. She could see him shutting down again, wiping the emotion from his faceโ€”the anger, the lust, the fear, the pain, the longing. It was just like the Hollow. This was what heโ€™d done when sheโ€™d put the mirth stone in the pot. Heโ€™d shuttered all his feelings. Heโ€™d pretended everything had been because of the stone.

Sheโ€™d suspected this was the case, but she hadnโ€™t been certain until now.

โ€œI have to go,โ€ he said coldly.

โ€œNoโ€”โ€ She shoved up from the bed. This time, she wasnโ€™t going to let him get away with shutting her out. โ€œWhat are you so afraid of?โ€

A flicker of something like regret flashed in Jacksโ€™s eyes. โ€œWhat is it?โ€ she pressed.

Jacks raked a hand through his hair. โ€œDo you still want to know what the stones do when theyโ€™re together?โ€

โ€œYes,โ€ she said. But suddenly, she felt nervous. This was the answer sheโ€™d been waiting for. The one sheโ€™d been begging for. All this time, sheโ€™d been dying to know what Jacks really wanted. For a while, sheโ€™d been afraid of it, because she didnโ€™t want him to hurt anyone. But now from the way he looked at her, she suddenly feared the only person his answer would hurt was her.

Jacks crossed over to his desk and picked up a white apple. He tossed it as he said, โ€œWhen the four stones are combined, a person has the power to return to any moment in their past. It can only be done once. Once the stones have been used for this purpose, theyโ€™ll never have the power to be used like this again.โ€

For a second, it didnโ€™t sound so bad. Lots of people had moments they wanted to change. That day alone there were several things Evangeline would have done differently. โ€œWhat moment do you want to go back to?โ€

Jacks looked at the apple in his hand as he answered. โ€œI want to return to the moment I met Donatella.โ€

โ€œThe princess who stabbed you?โ€ He nodded tightly.

For a second, Evangeline was speechless. Of all the answers, she did not expect this. She quickly flashed back to the night that she and Jacks had spent together in the crypt, when heโ€™d finally told her the story of Princess Donatellaโ€”how heโ€™d kissed her and it should have killed her, but instead, it made his heart beat. She should have

been his one true love, but Donatella chose another and stabbed Jacks in the heart.

โ€œWhy would you want to go back for her?โ€

Jacks worked his jaw. โ€œShe was supposed to be my one true loveโ€”I want another chance at that.โ€

โ€œBut this doesnโ€™t make sense,โ€ Evangeline said. โ€œWhy go to all this trouble for a girl whoย youย donโ€™t love?โ€ Because Evangeline knew Jacks didnโ€™t love Donatella. She might have believed it before, when sheโ€™d first heard the story, but Evangeline couldnโ€™t fathom it now.

Jacks never talked about her, and on the rare occasions he did mention her, he didnโ€™t sound as if he loved her.

โ€œIs this just because you didnโ€™t kill her? Or do you really want to be with her?โ€

Jacksโ€™s nostrils flared. โ€œThis is a pointless argument.โ€ He bit down hard on his apple. โ€œAnd you wonโ€™t remember this anyway.โ€

Fresh panic gripped Evangeline. This was the second time heโ€™d said that. The first time, in the Hollow, heโ€™d made it sound as if he hadnโ€™t really meant it, but now, Jacksโ€™s voice was clear and hard.

โ€œWhy are you saying I wonโ€™t remember?โ€ she asked. Although she feared she already knew. If Jacks went back in time, it wouldnโ€™t just change his life, it would also alter Evangelineโ€™s. Thatโ€™s why he was saying sheโ€™d forget, because if Jacks created a new reality, none of this would happen. They would never even have this argument.

Everything that had occurred between Jacks and Evangeline since sheโ€™d come North had been a result of Jacksโ€™s search for the arch stones. But if he managed to use them and rewrite his history, then he wouldnโ€™t need to find them againโ€”he wouldnโ€™t need her.

Suddenly, Evangeline felt sick.

Jacks looked as if he didnโ€™t care at all.

โ€œIf you go back in time, how much of my life will change?โ€ she asked.

Jacks took another bite of his apple. โ€œYour life wonโ€™t be entirely different. Time doesnโ€™t wish to be changedโ€”most things will reset themselves, unless someone actively fights to alter them. From what Iโ€™ve gathered, youโ€™ll still find your way hereโ€”it just wonโ€™t be due to me. I imagine Chaos will accomplish bringing you here on his own. So, donโ€™t worry, pet, youโ€™ll still be a princess, and youโ€™ll still have Apollo.โ€

โ€œWhat about you? Will we ever meet?โ€

โ€œNo.โ€ And if Jacks felt anything about it, the emotion didnโ€™t show.

โ€œWill you still remember me?โ€

โ€œYes,โ€ he said with equal indifference. โ€œBut Iโ€™ll make sure our paths never cross.โ€

โ€œBut you just said my life wouldnโ€™t change.โ€

โ€œIt wonโ€™t.โ€ He took another bite of his apple. โ€œYouโ€™ll find another way to stop Lucโ€™s wedding. Poison, I imagine.โ€

โ€œThat wasnโ€™t what I was talking about.โ€ Tears prickled at the corners of her eyes. She couldnโ€™t believe that Jacks didnโ€™t care that she would forget him. That this moment and every other moment between them would be erased. That Chaos or Poison would simply replace himโ€”that is, if hisย theoryย about her life staying mostly the same was correct. If he was wrong, there were so many other directions her life could take.

Although she wasnโ€™t worried about that just then. All Evangeline cared about was that she was going to forget aboutย him.ย Her breath was short, and her heart was poundingโ€”she feared that at any moment it might just give out. And he was standing there eating an apple.

But she knew he felt something. She no longer believed anything that had happened between them in the Hollow was because of the mirth stone. The mirth stone didnโ€™t

create bliss; all it had done was mend wounds and take away fear.

What was Jacks afraid of? What was his wound?

She was supposed to be my one true loveโ€”I want another chance at that.ย Thatโ€™s what heโ€™d said when Evangeline had asked why he wanted to go back to be with Donatella. He hadnโ€™t said he loved her. He just wanted her because he believed she was his only chance at love. It really was because she was the one girl he hadnโ€™t killed with his kiss.

โ€œWhat if youโ€™re wrong? What if Princess Donatella isnโ€™t your only chance at love? You said that if I opened the Valory Arch, there was something inside that could cure the curse on Apollo. What if thereโ€™s something in there to help you, too? Maybe thereโ€™s a way that you can findย anotherย true love.โ€

Jacks ground his jaw and dropped his apple into the fire. โ€œThatโ€™s not how it works.โ€

โ€œWhy wonโ€™t you at least try? Why is your only solution to go back in time for a girl who doesnโ€™t love you?โ€

Jacksโ€™s eyes turned into a storm.

Evangeline probably should have stopped there, but this was her last chance. If he went through with his terrible plan, she wouldnโ€™t even know theyโ€™d ever met. Slowly, she walked toward where he stood and tilted her head to look up at him.

โ€œIf you really believe this is what you want, then youโ€™re lying to yourself.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m not lying to myself,โ€ Jacks snarled.

โ€œThen tell me this is what you truly want. Swear you want this more than anything else and Iโ€™ll never mention it again.โ€

Jacks grabbed her by the shoulders and looked directly into her eyes. For a minute, he didnโ€™t speak. He just looked

at her, at the remaining blood still on her lips and the dried tears staining her cheeks. โ€œI swear this is what I really want.โ€ He spoke each word like a vow. โ€œI want to erase every moment you and I have spent together, every word youโ€™ve said to me, and every time Iโ€™ve touched you, because if I donโ€™t, Iโ€™ll kill you, just like I killed the Fox.โ€

Evangelineโ€™s heart stopped.

She searched Jacksโ€™s eyes, but all she saw was darkness, and all she felt was the press of his hands. He held on to her the way a person might grasp the edge of a cliff, knowing once they let go, there was no taking hold again.

And Evangeline could no longer avoid the truth she hadnโ€™t wanted to see. Jacks was the Archer fromย The Ballad of the Archer and the Fox.ย That was the reason why heโ€™d known so much about the Archerโ€™s curse and why heโ€™d been so insistent there was no way to break it, why heโ€™d said he wasnโ€™tย friendsย with the Archer. Heย wasย the Archer.

Evangeline had feared it was true as soon as the Handsome Stranger had mentioned the first fox. But sheโ€™d dismissed it because she hadnโ€™t wanted to be right. She hadnโ€™t wantedย thatย to be Jacksโ€™s storyโ€”sheย wanted to be his story.

A tear slid down her cheek as she tried to imagine Jacks as the Archer, fighting not to hurt the girl he loved and failing. No wonder he was so damaged and cruel. No wonder heโ€™d perfected the art of not caring.

โ€œSorry to break your fairytale, Little Fox, but ballads donโ€™t end happily, and neither do the two of us.โ€

His hands dropped from her shoulders, and he started for the door.

โ€œIโ€™m not that fox!โ€ Evangeline cried.

โ€œYou donโ€™t understand.โ€ He tossed a dark look over his shoulder. โ€œEvery girl is another fox. You want to know how

the story really ends? You want to know the part of the tale that everyone forgets?โ€

Evangeline told herself to shake her head. For so long, sheโ€™d wanted to know the end of this story, but now she wanted to forget it all. She wanted Jacks to simply be the Prince of Hearts againโ€”the heartsick Fate looking for true loveโ€”rather than a fallen hero whoโ€™d found the love of his life and killed her.

โ€œI thought you just told me how the story ended,โ€ she said.

โ€œI told you that I killed her, but I didnโ€™t say how.โ€ A dangerous intensity slipped into Jacksโ€™s voice. โ€œI didnโ€™t tell you that I ran away, that I tried to leave her so I wouldnโ€™t hurt her. I didnโ€™t know if I really loved her, or if my feelings were all from the curse, because it wouldnโ€™t let me stop thinking about her. But she had more faith in me than I did. She chased after me. She was convinced I really loved her and that I could fight the curse. And I did. I never laid a hand on her. I overcame the Archerโ€™s curse. But it didnโ€™t matter, because as soon as I kissed her, she died.โ€ Jacksโ€™s mouth twisted bitterly. โ€œSince then, every girl Iโ€™ve kissed has died, except for one. And you are not that girl.โ€

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