“So,” Gerard said twenty minutes later, when he parked up outside his house, and finally broke the strained silence that had hung heavily in the air the entire journey home. For some reason, he’d driven us home instead of to Johnny’s house, but I wasn’t complaining. Not when home offered me a bigger chance of getting him alone.
“So,” I replied nervously, feeling like my entire future rested on what came out of his mouth next.
“So—” he killed the engine and turned to look at me “—that was new.”
“Yep.” Nodding, I tucked my damp curls behind my ear. “Super new.”
My response drew a smile from his lips. “This is a bit weird, isn’t it?”
“So weird,” I agreed with another eager nod of my head.
“What do you want to do now?”
“Uh.” I shrugged sheepishly and replied with, “I don’t mind,” when I knew damn well what I wanted to do now. A repeat performance.
“Hm.”
“Yep.”
Another weird silence enveloped us as we stared awkwardly at each other from either side of the car.
“Is your mam home?”
“No, she’s at your house getting the food ready for the party with your mam.”
“Oh yeah.”
“Yep.”
“Do you want to come over?” we both ended up asking the other at the same time before chuckling nervously and saying, “Yes.” Again, at the same time.
Clearing my throat, I unfastened my seatbelt and pushed the car door open. “Well, I’m going to go home now,” I declared in a far calmer tone than I felt. “Would you like to join me?”
“Yes,” Gerard thrilled me by replying, as he unfastened his own seatbelt and quickly followed after me. “I would definitely like to join you.”
“Excellent decision.”
“Yes, I think so.”
“I think so, too.”
Gerard quickly fell into step beside me, and we walked up the driveway to my front door, shoulders touching. “Weather for the ducks.”
“Perfect weather for the ducks,” I agreed, pushing the front door open and stepping inside. “Hugh?” I called out, stepping aside for Gerard to follow me inside. “Are you home yet?”
“His car isn’t parked in the driveway.”
“True. He’s probably at Katie’s house.”
“True,” Gerard agreed, looking like a drenched god as he stood in my front hall, dripping rainwater all over the tiles. “That would make sense.”
“And Dad’s probably in the office,” I offered, tone a little breathless.
“Probably,” Gerard agreed with a nod.
“So … ” An illicit shiver of delight racked through me as I watched him watch me. “I’m going to go upstairs now.” I moved for the staircase. “Would you like to come up to my room?”
My entire frame trembled with lustful anticipation when I felt his chest brush against my back. “It would be rude not to walk you to your room.”
Yay.
Hurrying up the stairs, we both made a beeline for my bedroom. Closing the door behind us, I leaned against the frame and watched as he walked into the middle of the room. “So … ”
I exhaled a shaky breath and sagged against the door at my back. “So … ”
“About what happened in the woods.” He pushed his damp hair off his brow again and glanced around in every direction but mine. “That was some kiss.”
“I’ll say,” I agreed, heart bucking wildly against my ribcage. “Best first second-kiss ever.”
“Agreed.” Wandering over to a random shelf, he readjusted a lopsided teddy bear that was perched on top of it. “And what happened in my room that night.” He roughly cleared his throat before adding, “That was … ”
“Epic,” I filled in, tracking his every move with my eyes. “For me, at least.”
“Oh, for me as well.” With his hands behind his back, Gerard snooped around my room, investigating knickknacks on top of shelves and dressers that he’d seen a million times before. “I was thinking … ”
“You were?” I blurted, and then mentally scolded myself for interrupting him. “Go ahead,” I said in a coaxing tone. “You were thinking … ”
“I was thinking that I could do that again for you sometime.” Shrugging, he added, “If you wanted me to, of course.”
“Yes!” Raw, unadulterated heat blasted through me. “I would definitely want you to.”
“Good.” He finally settled his heated gaze on me. “Glad that’s settled then.”
“Yep.” I nodded eagerly. “What a relief.”
“Oh absolutely,” he agreed, walking towards me. “So, uh, when would you like that to happen exactly?”
“Um … ” Sagging weakly against the doorframe, I looked up at his face and exhaled shakily. “I was thinking maybe now?”
“I was thinking now, too,” he agreed in a gruff tone, closing the space between us. “But we might miss the clown.”
“I think I can survive without seeing the clown,” I breathed, heart racing violently. “If you can?”
“Oh, I can definitely survive without seeing the clown,” Gerard agreed, hands grazing my hips, as he looked down at me, gray eyes full of heat. “Don’t think I can survive without you, though.”
He didn’t have to say another word. I literally threw myself at him like a deranged lunatic.
Catching me mid-air, Gerard hoisted me up effortlessly, as our lips collided with just as much urgency as earlier.
Holy crap, his lips were so soft and warm and perfect. He tasted like home and smelled like it too. Trying to remain calm in this moment wasn’t easy for me, but I tried my best. Gripping his big shoulders, I fell into our kiss as he walked us backwards, not stopping until we tangled up in a heap on my bed.
“Oh my god,” I croaked out, collapsing on the bed beneath him in a flurry of entwined limbs and tangled hearts. “You’re ridiculously good at that.”
“What?” he asked, tone breathless, as he craned his head back to look at me.
“Kissing, Gerard,” I breathed, chest heaving beneath him. “You’re good at kissing.”
“Well.” With a boyish twinkle in his eye, he tilted his head to one side and grinned down at me. “I’ve been practicing for you.”
“Don’t push it,” I warned, slapping at his chest.
“Duly noted,” he replied with a solemn nod.
“In fact, don’t say anything at all right now,” I added, tilting my chin up to meet his.
“Shutting up, Claire-Bear,” he promised moments before his lips returned to mine.
“Mm, I know I said it already, but I think it bears repeating that you really are an amazing kisser,” I said several minutes later when I broke free of his lips to gather some much-needed air. “Like seriously … ” My eyelids fluttered when his tongue lapped at the skin above my collarbone. “ … Amazing.”
“You know I love you.” He pressed me deep into the mattress with his big body, lips moving against mine when he bit out the words, “There’s only ever been you for me.”
His words thrilled me, but not nearly as much as his actions, because I’d had his words my entire life, while his current actions were brand new.
“You’re so wet.”
“I know,” I squeezed out, breath hitching. “Keep going.”
“No, I mean you’re really wet,” he replied, pulling back to gesture to my drenched clothes. “You’re going to get sick, Claire-Bear.” Hesitation flickered in his eyes then and I wanted to scream no when he started to retreat. “What the hell am I doing? I better—”
“Don’t you dare,” I warned, wrestling him onto his back and grinning in victory when I came out on top. “You’re not leaving.”
“I was going to say I better get off so you can take a shower,” he chuckled beneath me, palms up as I pinned his wrists to the bed. “Jesus, choke slam me, why don’t you?”
Now, I had little to zero experience with kissing boys in bedrooms, so I could only put my bravado down to years’ worth of binge-watching rom-coms. Well, that and the fact that I felt ridiculously comfortable around this boy.
Super proud of myself for the moves I had somehow managed to manifest in this moment, I straddled Gerard’s lap without a hint of shame or reservation.
God, who even was I?
“I don’t want to take a shower,” I replied, tightening my grip on his wrists. “I want to keep kissing you.” Leaning in close, I pressed a hard kiss to his swollen lips. “And the only way these clothes are coming off my body is if you peel them off with your hands.”
When his big hands settled on the part of my legs where my skirt grazed my thighs, everything inside of me coiled tight with anticipation.
Gerard’s eyes blazed with heat. “Is that so?”
A delicious throbbing ache settled low in my belly, encouraged every time his fingertips danced under the hem of my skirt.
Do it, I mentally begged, touch me everywhere.
“I am so fucking scared of breaking this,” he surprised me by saying. “Of wrecking what we have.” He shook his head and exhaled a pained breath before saying, “I could sit on the fence for the rest of my life and still be nervous.”
His admission curled around my heart like a blanket of warmth, and I shivered. Because this was his truth. He was lifting the veil inch by tiny inch and giving me an insight into his thought process. “You shouldn’t be afraid to strike out, Gerard.” Reaching down, I stroked his cheek to reassure him. “I would much rather live my life with mistakes under my belt than regrets chipping away at my heart.”
“See, that’s the thing, Claire,” he urged in a pained tone. “I don’t want to be your mistake or your regret.” He pulled up on his elbows, gray eyes burning with sincerity and heat. “I can’t fucking bear the thought of it.”
“You’re not, Gerard,” I replied, holding his beautiful face in my hands. He looked so vulnerable in this moment that it made me physically ache. I wanted to soothe the fear in him. I wanted to chase his demons away. The ones that had been put there from witnessing the breakdown of his parents’ marriage. “You could never be either one of those to me.”
“This past week was fucking horrible,” he admitted in a gruff tone. “Fighting with you puts me in a bad place in my head.” He reached up and tapped his temple for emphasis. “When I’m not with you, it feels like I’ve misplaced a limb. It feels bad, Claire.”
“I know, Gerard,” I replied, desperately trying to ignore the tremor of doom that was building up inside of me. “It’s the same for me.”
“Please don’t let me break this,” he begged, gray eyes locked on mine. “I can’t lose you, Claire.”
“You won’t.” Leaning in close, I touched my forehead to his and whispered, “You couldn’t lose me if you tried, Gerard Gibson.”
A tremor racked through his big body. “That’s really good to hear, Claire Biggs.”
“I’m so with you.” I pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth and then pulled back to take his measure. “Are you with me?”
“Yeah,” he replied gruffly, gray eyes locked on mine. “I’m with you.”
“Don’t go again, okay?” I kissed his cheek and reveled in the feel of his arm tightening around me. “Don’t leave me.”
“I won’t,” came his quiet reply.
“I’m serious.” I knotted my fingers in the front of his t-shirt and released a shaky breath. “I need you to stay.”
“And I need to stay,” he agreed, pushing me deeper into the mattress. “So, don’t stop needing me.”
“Never,” I vowed. “You’re my best friend.”
“I know.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re supposed to say it back.”
He smirked. “But what about Cap?”
Snatching up his hand, I placed it on my chest and said, “Does Cap let you touch his boobs?”
“Okay.” Nodding vigorously, he pressed a kiss to my neck. “You’re my number one best friend.”
I closed my eyes and smiled. “That’s better.”
