โIโm telling you, Claire-Bear, weโve got this,โ Gerard declared, armed with Brianโs cat cage. โItโs in the bag.โ Marching us through the fair, he didnโt stop until we reached the area of the field that was sporting the dog show. โTrust me.โ
โI donโt know, Gerard,โ I replied, chewing on my bottom lip, as I hurried along beside him. โWhat if they donโt let us enter?โ
โBullshit,โ he shot back, and then jerked comically when Brian swiped a paw through the bars of the cage. โThey canโt do that.โ
โBrianโs a cat.โ
โSo?โ
โSo, this is a dog show.โ
โNowhere in the rule books does it state that we have to enter a dog.โ
โI think because itโs alluded to in the title โdog showโ, Gerard.โ
โDo you see a cat show being offered anywhere?โ
โNope.โ
โMe either, so this will work, Claire.โ
โWhat if they laugh at us?โ
โSo what if they do?โ he scoffed, completely unaffected. โLet them. We need that prize money, babe โ and we have more than earned that first-place trophy for washing that deranged bastard.โ Reaching up, he touched the part of his shoulder that had been mangled the worst. โI have the scratches to prove it.โ
โBut you know Brianโs not very friendly.โ
โNo, heโs not,โ Gerard agreed. โBut I promised I would stand by you and provide for our babies so thatโs exactly what Iโm going to do.โ Shrugging, he added, โBesides, heโs the one tapping Cherub. He can do this for us.โ
โWe should have brought Cherub.โ
โYeah, well, sheโs a bit preoccupied right now,โ he shot back, โwhat with being in the family way and having a belly on her bigger than Fat Paddy.โ Slapping on a smile, he added, โLetโs just work with what weโve been given here. Brian might be a bastard, but heโs a beautiful one.โ
That was true. Brian was a looker alright. A long-haired pedigree Persian with a snow-white coat of perfectly combed fur. Too bad he was a demon on the inside. โWhat if he attacks the judges?โ
โDonโt worry, Iโve got that covered.โ
โOh?โ My eyes narrowed and I eyed him warily. โGerard. What did you do?โ
โOffered him a mild sedative before we left the house.โ
โYou did what?โ
โHow else was I supposed to get him in the box?โ he demanded, looking affronted. โYou know how ratty he gets when I touch him.โ
โOh God, this is a bad idea.โ
โItโs a great idea,โ he corrected, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. โAnd weโve got this.โ
โOh, Gerard, look at the dog,โ I cooed, eyes locked on the pampered Pomeranian.
โHe doesnโt have shit on us โฆ โ
โClaire.โ
โClaire.โ
โClaire!โ The sound of my brotherโs voice thundered through my ears, disrupting the most epically perfect memory dream Iโd had in weeks, and startling me into a sudden state of confused consciousness. โCome on, will you? Itโs gone seven. Iโm leaving in ten minutes.โ
โGone seven?โ I called back sleepily. โIn the morning?โ
โYeah, letโs go,โ his deep voice boomed from the other side of my bedroom door. โHurry up.โ
โBut itโs still summer, Hugh,โ I wailed, momentarily panicking that Iโd somehow slept through the last few days of our summer holidays and was about to be thrust back into the corridors of Tommen. โAnd itโs Saturday!โ
โYeah, genius, I know itโs Saturday,โ he drawled, tone laced with a healthy dollop of brotherly sarcasm. โListen, Mamโs been tormenting me since your birthday to get you a job at the hotel. Kim told me to bring you along this morning. Thereโs an opening for a part-time lifeguard at the pool, and she wants to give you a trial run while Iโm on duty, so get your ass in gear because my shift starts at eight, and I wonโt be late for you.โ
โA trial?โ Scrunching my nose up in distaste, I stretched my legs out and yawned. โFor what?โ
โA job,โ came his sarcastic response.
โBut I have a job.โ
โYou volunteer at the public swimming pool, Claire,โ he replied, sounding more impatient by the second. โLifeguarding at the hotel is a paying job.โ
โSmart-ass.โ Yawning sleepily, I snuggled deeper into the mattress, feeling beyond exhausted. โGive me five more minutes, will you? Iโm just resting my eyes.โ
โRest your eyes all you want,โ my brother replied. โBut Iโm leaving in ten minutes. Dadโs holed up in the attic on a deadline, so he wonโt take you, andโโ
โThen Iโll ask Mam,โ I called back before he could finish.
Hah.
Take that, sucker.
โMamโs not back from the night shift at the hospital yet,โ he swiftly continued, not missing a beat. โShe wonโt be back in time.โ
โHugh, please,โ I complained, kicking my legs under my duvet in frustration. โJust give me five more minutes!โ
โNo, because I know that your version of five minutes really means forty minutes and I need to leave in ten,โ he replied, sounding more impatient by the second.
โKeep talking and youโll bore me back to sleep.โ
โFine. Suit yourself,โ he called back. โBut when Mam bitches about you not getting a job, donโt even think about dropping the blame batonย onto me, princess.โ There was a long pause before his voice boomed again. โOh, and you can tell that asshole that he was supposed to meet Cap at the gym two hours ago.โ
That did the trick.
My eyes sprang open, and I bolted out of my bed, only to ping back like a boomerang when my hand wouldnโt comply with the rest of my body.
Of course it wouldnโt.
Not when it was welded to a much larger hand.
โFive more minutes, babe,โ Gerard echoed my earlier words from under a mountain of pillows and teddy bears. โIโm resting my eyes.โ
โCome on, get up,โ I groaned, battling it out for dominion over my hand and losing when he pulled me back down on the mattress without breaking a sweat โ or cracking open an eyelid. โHughโs right outside my door. Apparently, youโre supposed to be at the gym.โ
โThe gym can suck my balls,โ he mumbled, rolling onto his side, and pulling me flush against his chest to spoon. โFucking Kav.โ
โGerard!โ
โSnuggling my Claire-Bear equals a happy Gibsie. Running laps on the treadmill until I puke equals a very unhappy Gibsie.โ The feel of his big body pressed to mine set loose what felt like a cage of wild butterflies in my chest. โItโs all about priorities, babe.โ
โAnd Iโm yours?โ I teased.
โAlways,โ he confirmed sleepily, tightening his hold on my waist.
Jesus.
Breath hitching, I forced myself to exhale slowly, all the while desperately trying to channel down the somersaulting sensation in my belly. The one that felt like I had just driven over a massive hump in the road, that caused my organs to shift around in my body.
Everything between us was starting to feel a whole lot different lately. More intense. More grown up. Even though he was the same boy Iโd spent most of my life adoring, he certainly didnโt look like that boy anymore.
Sure, his silvery-gray eyes still sparkled with boyish mischief, but the puppy fat that had once lingered on his belly was long gone. High cheekbones and a defined jawline that was speckled with day-old stubble had replaced the chubby cheeks he once bore.
It was fair to say that Gerard Gibson was all man now, and that piece of knowledge caused something to stir inside of me.
I liked it, I realized โ maybe even more than liked it.
My body seemed to react to the sight of him, causing my skin to flood with heat and my heart rate to skyrocket.
โJust relax,โ he mumbled sleepily. Not bothering to crack an eyelid open, he draped his big bicep around my body and pulled me back down. โHm.โ A deep rumble of approval escaped his lips when our bodies melded together once more. โBetter.โ
Unable to repress the full body shudder of pleasure that rippled through my core, I grew lax against him, knowing that it was a terrible idea with Hugh just outside and especially when I could feel his, uh, morningย ladderย steadilyย erecting, but I couldnโt resist the temptation.
Completely aligned, with my back to his chest, Gerard buried his face in my neck and inhaled deeply before whispering the words, โStay with me,โ in my ear.
Oh God.
โYouโre going to get in trouble with Johnny,โ I announced, repressing the urge to shiver in delight when his lips brushed the curve of my neck. The move was featherlight and clearly accidental on his behalf, but it caused my toes to curl. โAnd youโre all sweaty.โ
โKav will be grand.โ His breath fanned the back of my neck when he spoke. โAnd it always happens after ah โฆ you know.โ
After one of his night terrors, and, yeah, I knew all too well.
Last night was a bad one and I could still remember it vividly.
Heat emanated from his skin.
Sweat trickled from his neck to his shoulder.
I watched the glistening bead as it moved.
Sliding over his bare flesh, expunging itself from a body I could never get close enough to.
It wouldnโt be long now.
The screaming would come.
Followed swiftly by the panic attack that always reduced him to a gasping, breathless, broken seven-year-old boy.
I remembered the first one just as vividly as the day it happened.
After all, I had been there to witness it first-hand.
The trauma.
The devastation.
The thought barely had time to register in my mind when the first cry ripped from his throat. It was a torn, shrill, agonizing sound that cultivated from a memory I couldnโt erase for him.
โNo!โ Thrashing helplessly, he bolted out of bed, knocking over my nightstand in his bid to break free from the demons in his dreams. โPlease donโt โฆ โ
โGerard!โ
I had enough experience dealing with his night terrors to know that giving him space was the worst thing I could do. Therefore, I scrambled off my bed in my haste to get to him.
โShh.โ Even in sleep, he knew my touch enough to let me cradle him in my arms. โItโs me.โ His entire body was soaked with sweat but that didnโt stop me. โIโm here.โ I leaned in close, nuzzling his cheek with mine. โShh, Gerard, itโs okay.โ
โNo, no, no โฆ โ Pained groans turned to weak mewling as, even in sleep, he frantically sought out my touch. โI canโt make it stop.โ
โItโs over,โ I tried to coax, cupping his cheeks with my hands. โItโs just a nightmare now.โ
His sharp intakes of breath took on a desperate note, quickly shifting into panicked gasps.
Like he couldnโt draw air into his lungs.
Like he was drowning.
With them.
โIโve got you,โ I continued to whisper, melding my body to his, knowing this was exactly what he needed to come back down from the edge. From the pain. โIโm right here with you.โ
Slowly, his body relaxed to the feel of mine, taking me in, hearing my words, smelling my scent, breathing me in until he was mine and I was his. Until we were us again and he was safe.
โClaire?โ His body stiffened then, and I knew he was awake. โClaire.ย Claire?โ
โItโs me.โ Releasing a shaky breath, I tightened my hold on him and buried my face in his neck. โIโm right here, Gerard. Itโs okay โฆ โ
โYeah, I know,โ I whispered, blinking away the memories of last night when heโd wandered into my room in a frantic state of blind panic. โBut theyโre getting a lot worse.โ
I felt him nod against me.
Lately, Gerardโs nightmares had frequented to the point of being almost a nightly event. It was as unsettling as it was heartbreaking. Because I knew he was battling his demons โ or should I say his ghosts. The ones from his childhood that he refused to talk about.
โWhat happened in last nightโs one?โ I asked, feeling just as helpless this morning as I did every morning that I woke up with him in my bed.
Finding Gerard in my bed wasnโt a new thing for us. In fact, in the past decade there was only a handful of nights he hadnโt slept over.
โSame as always,โ he replied in a vulnerable tone, sounding nothing like the comedic joker the rest of the world was privy to. โListen, Iโll get you to wherever you need to be on time, I promise.โ He shifted closer, tightening his big arm around my waist. โJust snuggle me for a bit first.โ
The words were no sooner out of his mouth when my bedroom door swung inwards with such force that it smacked off the plaster on my wall.
โDid I just hear that asshole ask you toย snuggle?โ
โWhat the hell, Hugh?โ I shouted, wrestling free from the giant teenage boy in my bed to stop the giant teenage boy charging towardsย him from throwing down. โWe have rules in this house, remember?โ Scrambling off the bed, I rushed to intercept Hugh before either one could choose violence. Gerard and Hughโs relationship was more like brothers than friends, and rarely came to any serious blows, but there had been a couple of occasions down through the years that I didnโt want to see repeated. โEver heard of knocking?โ
โGibs, you better not be naked in there,โ my brother warned, ignoring me entirely, while he focused on his friend who was sprawled out in my bed.
โMorning, stud,โ Gerard poked the bear by taunting, as he wiggled his fingers in salutation. โAny chance of some breakfast in bed for your favorite brother-in-law?โ
And there it was.
His mask.
The divide that separated the sensitive boy I adored from the humorous one all our other friends enjoyed.
It slipped effortlessly into place.
Gibsie belonged to the rest of the world.
Gerard belonged just to me.
โIโll give you breakfast in bed, you little whore.โ My brotherโs face turned a freakish shade of purple. โI swear to Christ, lad, if you put so much as a finger on her, I will legit kill you dead this time.โ
โOnย her orย inย her?โ
โGibs!โ
โOh, get a grip, you big eejit.โ I rolled my eyes and stalked towards my brother. โHeโs only messing with you. Weโre clearly just friends.โ
โClearly,โ came Hughโs sarcastic response. โYou two are just friends and Bellaโs the Virgin Mary.โ
โBellaโs a โฆ whatโs the word those girls in pink use in the film, babe?โ Gerard asked, twirling a finger around aimlessly. โAn ugly clit?โ
โA fugly slut, Gerard,โ I corrected with a smile. โBut full marks for attempting aย Mean Girlsย reference.โ
โFugly slut,โ he chuckled, mimicking the word to himself. โI love it.โ
โYou wonโt be around to love anything if you donโt get your hole out of my sisterโs bed,โ Hugh growled.
โHey now, you listen up here, buddy,โ I huffed, catching ahold of his shoulders, and pushing him towards my door, โI donโt go in your room when your preciousย Katieย is here, so you donโt get to come into mine.โ
โThereโs a big goddamn difference in that equation, Claire,โ Hugh shot back. โKatieโs a saint and heโs a whore.โ Clearly furious, my older brother took in my appearance and seemed temporarily appeased at the sight of my pink, fluffy onesie. โOh, thank Jesus. Youโre fully clothed.โ
โSame as always,โ I drawled, folding my arms across my chest. โTalk about jumping to conclusions, Hugh. Jeez.โ
โYeah, well, this sleepwalking bullshit has to stop,โ my brother commanded, turning his attention back to the boy in my bed. โItโs getting beyond a joke.โ
โHe canโt help it,โ I protested, finding myself coming to the defense of the boy Iโd adored since childhood. โYou know itโs not something he can control, Hugh. It just happens.โ
โOf course he can,โ Hugh shot back, giving me a look that saidย donโt be so gullible. โHe knowsย exactlyย what heโs doing.โ
โNo, he doesnโt.โ
โYes, he does,โ my brother clapped back. โYou donโt see him sleepwalking into my bed, do you?โ
โIf youโre feeling left out, I can make it my mission to stop by your bed tonight, brother.โ
โTry it and Iโll chop your nuts off.โ
โNo need to get testy.โ
โStay out of my sisterโs bed and we wonโt have a problem.โ
โForce of habit,โ Gerard mused, as he stretched out on my bed like a big, lazy lion before pulling himself into a sitting position, Gibsie mode fully activated.
โYeah,โ Hugh sneered in disgust, โa ten-year habit that stops today.โ
โWhat can I say.โ Chuckling softly to himself, Gerard stretched his arms above his head and yawned loudly. โIโm a creature of habit.โ
The move caused my duvet to slip downwards, giving me a wonderful view of his naked chest.
โYouโre a creature alright,โ my brother growled, stalking towards him. โA fucking pest corrupting my sister.โ
โOh, pack it in, Hugh!โ I interrupted, tearing my eyes off his pierced nipples. โHeโs not corrupting me.โ
โSee?โ Grinning wickedly, Gerard waggled his brows at the same time as flexing his pecs. โIโm not corrupting her.โ
โDonโt you shake your tits at me,โ Hugh warned, waving an accusing finger around. โAnd donโt even think about cooking up anything fishy in here with my sister, either.โ
โI donโt cook fish, Hugh, I bake buns,โ Gerard shot back with a wink. โIn ovens.โ
โYou cheekyโโ
โHey โ no, no, no, donโt come barging into my room, banging your fists on your chest, just because your pea brain canโt process the fact that two people can sleep in the same bed and just sleep,โ I warned, quickly intercepting my brother when he made a beeline for Gerard. โNu-uh, donโt even think about throwing down in here, buddy.โ
โJust sleep,โ Hugh sneered and then turned his attention back to Gerard. โYou know what? The sooner you get back to school the better, because youโve been stuck on my sister like a fly to shitโโ
โAre you calling your sister shit?โ
โYeah.โ I narrowed my eyes. โDid you just call me poo?โ
โYou know what I mean,โ Hugh grumbled. โHe hasnโt left this house โ or your side, for that matter โ all damn summer.โ
โSo?โ I laughed. โHeโs been here every day since forever. Weโve always hung out, Hugh. Whatโs the big deal now?โ
โThe big deal now is that youโre not a child anymore, Claire. Youโre a sixteen-year-old teenage girl and heโs a fuckboy, with a lot of experience, and a lot of hidden agendas.โ
โI beg your fucking pardon,โ Gerard spluttered, clearly taking offense to the statement. โI amย noย fuckboy.โ
โGibs, youโre the definition of a fuckboy,โ Hugh argued back. โPeople look up the word in the dictionary and find your face!โ
โActually, that word isnโt in the dictionary,โ I decided to offer some common sense into the equation.
โA-ha!โ Gerard taunted, springing out of my bed. โShows what you know, asshole.โ
โWell, at least you have jocks on,โ Hugh huffed, mildly appeased by the sight of Gerardโs white Calvin Kleins.
โYeah.โ Gerard snorted. โThis time.โ
Hughโs eyes widened to the point where I thought they might pop. โAsshole, you are getting on my last nerve.โ
โCome on, Gerard,โ I groaned, shaking my head. โDonโt rise him.โ
โThatโs what I tried to tell your sister last night.โ
A vein bulged in my brotherโs forehead. โWhat did you justย say?โ Hugh whisper-hissed, as his eyes widened in comical horror. โWhat the fuck did you just say about my sister?โ
โGerard,โ I half-scolded, half-laughed, as I slapped a hand over my mouth.
Grinning wolfishly, he winked in response.
โRight. Thatโs it. I canโt take it anymore. Out,โ Hugh ordered, pointing to my bedroom door. โTake your filthy mouth and your even filthier cock back to your own side of the street.โ
โYouโve got me all wrong, lad,โ Gerard continued to taunt, as he threw on my dressing gown and then somersaulted over the bed to where I was standing. โIโm as pure as the driven snow.โ
โYeah,โ Hugh grumbled sarcastically. โThe snow outside a whorehouse.โ
โGood luck with your interview, Claire-Bear.โ Gerard pressed a featherlight kiss to my cheek before toeing on my at-least-five-sizes-too-small slippers. โMind if I take a shower here? Keith always leaves a deposit worthy of an exorcism in the toilet before work that, I shit you not, takes a good three hours to fully flush down theโโ
โYes, we do. Now, get out!โ Hugh instructed, pointing to the basketย in the corner of my room that contained a sleeping Cherub and her brood of adorable offspring. โAnd take your share of those kittens back to your side of the street with you.โ
โAnd separate them from their mother?โ Gerard gaped. โWhat kind of a monster are you?โ
โCherub will be grand,โ Hugh grumbled.
โI wasย referringย to your sister.โ
โYouโre a headcase, Gibs. Seriously fucking deranged.โ
โIgnore your cranky uncle, babies,โ Gerard called over his shoulder, as he sauntered out of my room. โDaddy will be back tonight.โ
โGo the fuck home, Gibs!โ
โFine. I need to go check on your nephew anyway.โ
โHeโs not my nephew, you freak. Heโs a hedgehog in hibernation in your mamโs hot press because you and my sister have issues with taking in strays.โ
โWhatever you say, lad. See you later for the beach trip, baby mama.โ
Snickering, I held up a hand and waved at his retreating frame. โSee you later, baby daddy.โ
โWhy do that?โ Hugh demanded, tone resigned. โWhy encourage the crazy?โ
โBecause I love his crazy.โ I laughed, still grinning from ear to ear. โAnd so do you.โ
โYeah, and Iโd love his crazy an awful lot more if it didnโt involve spending time in my baby sisterโs bedroom,โ Hugh grumbled. โCome on, Claire, I know you have it bad for him, but make smart choices here, will you?โ
โMake smart choices?โ I asked and then laughed in his face. I couldnโt help it. โWhat are you talking about?โ
โIโm talking about you and Gibs and your warped little sleepover club.โ
โOh my God, Iย lovedย those books,โ I chimed in with a smile. โI had the entire collection when we were kids, remember?โ
โYeah, I remember; now back to the real-life sleepovers,โ heย grumbled, running a hand through his hair. โListen, thereโs a reason Mam and Sadhbh put a stop to them when we left primary school.โ
โTriedย to put a stop to them,โ I corrected with a snort. โAnd failed.โ
โCome on, Claire,โ he growled impatiently. โYou know what can happen in the heat of the moment.โ
โThe heat of the moment?โ I laughed. โWhat moment?โ
โI donโt know,โ he snapped, flustered. โWhatever moments you and him have when youโre alone.โ
I arched a brow. โMeaning?โ
โSex.โ
โOh my God,โ I laughed. โYouโre so funny.โ
โFunny?โ His eyes widened to saucers. โSex isnโt funny.โ
โNo, sex isnโt funny,โ I agreed with a snicker. โBut you are.โ
โTwo words, Claire,โ he shot back, โJoey and Aoife.โ
โThatโs three words.โ
โFine,โ he countered, not missing a beat. โHereโs two words for you: teen pregnancy. Have you seen the girl lately? She looks like sheโs ready to pop.โ His eyes bulged for emphasis. โIf it can happen to Joey Lynch, it can happen to any one of us.โ
โNot me.โ I smiled sweetly up at him. โBecause I donโt possess a penis.โ
โYeah, well, your pillow pal certainly does.โ
โHugh,โ I said as calmly as I could, while I tried to wipe the smile from my face in order to comfort my big dope of a brother, โI promise Gerard and I are just friends. Same as always.โ
โYeah,โ he agreed, not sounding one bit comforted. โFriends thatโve been getting awfully close since Cap left for tour back in June.โ
โWeโve always been close.โ
โTrue, but itโs been different this summer, and you know it,โ he pushed, and I couldnโt deny the hint of concern in his voice โ or his eyes. โCome on, Claire. Iโm not thick. I can see it, same as everyone else, and contrary to popular belief, Iโmย notย trying to control your life. Iโm just โฆ I know Gibs better than anyone, and he โฆ and you โฆ โ He shook his head and blewย out a breath before adding, โLook, I just donโt want to see you get hurt.โ
Hugh was right about one thing.
Itย wasย different this summer.
Weย wereย closer.
Itย wasย more.
โWhy would I get hurt?โ I asked, folding my arms across my chest.
โBecause heโs fucked in the head.โ
โHugh!โ
โStop it. Donโt look at me like that. You know I love him like a brother,โ he hurried to explain, looking flustered. โI would take a bullet for him, lay down my life for him in a heartbeat, but heโs damaged, Claire. Iโm talking seriously damaged here. What happened to him when we were kids seriously screwed up his brain. He hasnโt been the same since he was seven and we both know it.โ
Yeah, I knew it, but it wasnโt nice to hear it out loud.
โOh my God, Hugh, stop, will you?โ I shook my head in disgust. โHalf of our friendship circle is damaged. That hasnโt stopped us being friends with any of them, has it?โ
โYeah, but youโre not just friends with Gibs,โ he argued. โYouโre in love with him.โ
โSo?โ Iโd given up denying it a long time ago. Besides, I was a terrible liar. โWhatโs your point?โ
โMy point is that youโre not damaged,โ he urged, tone laced with sincerity. โAnd I donโt want that to change.โ
โAnd you think it will?โ I pushed, folding my arms across my chest. โIf I get too close to Gerard?โ
โIโm afraid of what could happen if he gives in and it gets too deep and goes too far,โ he admitted, brown eyes locked on mine. โIโm afraid of the aftermath, Claire.โ
His words rattled me in a way they never had before.
Because I could hear the concern in his tone.
It was genuine.
It was valid.
But his warning would fall on deaf ears because I had a Gerard Gibson-sized blind spot on my heart.
I decided to throw my brother an olive branch by saying, โWould it make you feel better if I told you that I have never seen or touched Gerardโs penis for sexual reasons?โ
โWhat? No, Claire,โ Hugh groaned, looking thoroughly disturbed. โThat wouldnโt make me feel better at all โฆ โ He shook his head before quickly backpedaling, โHold up, so that means you have?โ
โUh โฆ maybe?โ I chuckled sheepishly, unable to stop my mind from wandering back to a particularly strangeย interactionย Iโd shared with Gerardโs ladder last Easter.
โAre you alone?โ Gerard asked when he hobbled into my bedroom, kitted out in our townโs rugby team kit โ muddy boots and all. โThereโs no one else in here?โ He looked around nervously, all the while covering his crotch with his hands. โNo evil viper lurking behind a door with a knife in hand, waiting for the opportunity to take me out?โ
โNo, Gerard, Iโm all alone,โ I laughed, still flipping through the pages of my favorite weekly magazine subscription. โWhy are you back from the game early?โ I narrowed my eyes, instantly suspicious. โDid you get sent off again?โ
โYes, but I sent myself off this time,โ he explained, as he hobbled comically towards me.
โCare to explain why?โ
โBecause your brother couldnโt protect a paper bag in a goddamn maul, thatโs why,โ he huffed. โListen, what Iโm about to show you is really bad, and I apologize in advance for the nightmares Iโm about to unleash on you, but Iโm in real danger of dying here, Claire-Bear.โ He sank down on my bed beside me, only to grunt in pain and spring back up. โAs in fully dead with no comeback.โ
โWhy?โ I laughed, pulling myself into a sitting position. โWhat did you do?โ
โItโs my dick,โ he admitted in a pained tone. โActually, itโs my ladder.โ
โYour ladder?โ My eyes widened. โYour dick is a ladder?โ
โNo, no, no,โ he groaned, gingerly lowering himself down on the mattress this time. โItโs the ladder on my dick.โ
โOkay.โ I shook my head. โI am so confused right now.โ
โListen to me; I pierced my dick, itโs called a Jacobโs ladder, and some prick from the other team kicked me square in the nuts during the game,โ he said in a big whoosh. โIโm hurt, and I mean seriously hurt, Claire-Bear. Weโre talking โTomโs down, and Dick and Harry are missing in actionโ kind of hurt.โ
โOh my God.โ My eyes widened in horror as I tried to make sense of the crazy spilling from his lips. โYou didย what?โ
โCan you check it for me?โ he asked, grimacing in discomfort. โAnd not in a โIโm trying to get you to put it in your mouthโ kind of way,โ he hurried to add. โMore of a โI really fucking love my dick and I donโt want to get sepsis like Kavโ kind of way?โ
โGerard!โ
โPlease, Claire,โ he begged, clutching his stomach then. โYou know I canโt cope with blood and if thereโs blood down there then Iโm going to pass out.โ
โYouย canโt cope with blood? What aboutย me?โ I squealed, scrambling onto my knees in anticipation, as some sick wave of morbid curiosity washed over me. โWhat if it scares me? Oh God, what if I vomit? You know I hate vomiting.โ
โIโm not going to lie to you, Claire, it might scare you, and we could both vomit,โ he confirmed grimly, โbut youโre my best friend and I would do it for you in a heartbeat.โ
Dammit, that was true.
All jokes aside, if the shoe was on the other foot and I was stupid enough to pierce my genitals, he would help me. โOkay, okay, fine!โ
โThank you,โ he sighed in relief. โOkay, if itโs bad donโt tell me. Just go outside and call an ambulance.โ
โAnd youโre sure you donโt want to ask one of the boys to check it for you?โ I asked in a much calmer tone than I was feeling. โYou wouldnโt feel more comfortable with Hugh or Johnny, orโโ
โNo,โ he choked out. โJesus no. It can only be you.โ
He looked at me uncertainly. โOkay?โ
โOkay,โ I confirmed with a determined nod. Climbing off the bed, I dropped to my knees in front him and reached for the waist of his shorts. โIโm ready.โ
โWait, wait, wait,โ he choked out, batting my hands away as he squirmed in discomfort, โIโve changed my mind.โ
โGerard, come on, donโt be a baby. Youโre in pain and need to get this ladder inspected,โ I urged, reaching for his shorts again. โJust be brave and take off your underpants.โ
โItโs not a ladder right now, babe,โ he groaned, hands settling on the elastic waistband of his shorts. โThe minute I saw you in those shorts, it turned into a full-blown fire-escape stairwell.โ
I grinned up at him. โIt did?โ
His eyes widened in horror. โFocus, Claire!โ
โOkay, okay, letโs not panic here.โ Rolling my shoulders, I sucked in a steadying breath and reached for his waistband again. This time, he let me. โDonโt worry, Gerard. My mamโs a nurse,โ I added, as I carefully lowered his shorts and underpants. โMedicine is in my genes. I can absolutely help you with โฆ oh my God!โ
โWhat, what?โ Gerard demanded, keeping a hand clamped over his eyes. โThereโs blood, isnโt there? I broke it, didnโt I?โ He wailed loudly. โOh Jesus, is it bad? Tell me it isnโt bad? Is the piercing still there?โ
โUh โฆ โ My eyes widened to saucers when his fully erect ladder sprang free. โThereโs no blood.โ I crouched lower to get a good look at the underside of his genitals. โOh, yeah, there it is.โ
โWhat?โ he demanded, tone frantic, eyes still covered. โWhatโs there?โ
โThe silver bar,โ I explained, leaning in closer to get a better look at it. โWow. Itโs, ah โโ Blowing out a shaky breath, I looked up at him and grinned. โIt looks a lot different to what Iโd pictured in my head.โ
โBad different?โ
โNo, not bad different,โ I mused, pleasantly surprised. โItโs like a trunk.โ
โJesus!โ
โArenโt willies weird, Gerard?โ
*
โYouโve touched hisย dick?โ Hugh bellowed, dragging me back to the present. โWhat the fuck?โ
My cheeks flamed and I scurried over to my dressing table, busying myself with readjusting the photos of friends that I had tacked to the mirror. When my eyes locked on the blue rosette tacked onto the corner of my mirror with the wordsย Brian, Best in Show 2005, 1st place, I couldnโt stop my smile from spreading.
โIn my defense, I only used my pinky finger,โ I said, turning my attention back to my agitated-looking brother. โAnd it was purely for medical purposes.โ
โMedicalย purposes?โ Hughโs face turned a scary shade of purple. โClaire!โ
โWhat?โ I defended, squirming in sheepish discomfort. โDo you know how serious it can be when someoneโs ladder gets injured?โ
โWhat in the name of Jesus does that even โฆ you know what, forget it. I donโt want to know,โ he groaned, clutching his stomach, as he stomped towards my bedroom door. โHurry up and get dressed. Iโll be in the toilet with my head in the bowl when youโre ready.โ