“Oh my God. Oh my God! Look at his little foot.”
“Shh, Claire. Don’t squeal. You’ll hurt his tiny ears.”
“Oops! Sorry.” Slapping a hand over my mouth, I bounced from foot to foot, desperately trying to fight the urge to swipe the baby out of my bestie’s arms and steal him for myself while Third Eye Blind’s “Semi-Charmed Life” played on repeat on the nearby stereo. “I think I love him.”
Almost one month had passed since we returned to Tommen, and all seemed to be well in the world again. Joey and Tadhg had returned from their suspensions, and aside from a few sketchy instances at the beginning of term, everything seemed to be running like clockwork for our little gang. Best of all, Gerard and I were still spending most of our time together – when he wasn’t working out with Johnny, that was.
Shannon’s adorable nephew was almost one month old, and this was my first time getting to meet the little guy – even though I’d been trying to get my hands on his chubby little cheeks since he came out of Aoife’s womb.
“You should smell him,” Shan encouraged, as she cradled her nephew in her arms. Leaning in close, she took a whiff of his blond hair and moaned. “He’s got that epic newborn baby smell.”
“Liz, come here!” Unable to tear my eyes off what had to be the cutest baby I’d ever seen in my life, I waved my hand around wildly, gesturing for her to join us. “He’s so – shut the front door! He’s sucking his thumb.”
“I know,” Shannon gushed excitedly.
“Isn’t that the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen?”
“So adorable.”
“He’s a baby, guys.” Sounding entirely uninterested, Lizzie remained on the couch in Joey and Aoife’s annex/apartment, not bothering to join us in our gushing. “That’s what they do. They suck their thumbs.”
“But this baby is the best baby,” I added, tracing AJ’s chubby cheek with my finger. “I want one.”
“Me too.”
“You two are disturbed.”
“Thanks, girls,” Aoife said, reappearing from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her hair and a fresh pair of pajamas on. She certainly looked a lot fresher than she had when we’d arrived after school. What with her leaky nipples and AJ’s baby puke on her back.
“I feel like I haven’t showered alone in weeks,” she added with a smile. “Is AJ okay?”
“Well, you sort of haven’t,” Shan replied. “And yep, he’s just as perfect as he was ten minutes ago.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, offering the stunning blonde a sympathetic smile. “How are you feeling?”
“She pushed an entire human being out of her body a month ago, Claire,” Lizzie drawled. “How do you think she’s feeling?”
“Vagina,” Ollie chimed in from his perch on the couch, where he was playing snake on Aoife’s phone. “It’s called a vagina.”
“Hey, good job, stud,” Aoife praised, ruffling her boyfriend’s little brother’s hair. “You are kicking ass with that speech therapist.”
“Thanks,” he replied, beaming up at her like she hung the moon. “When’s Joe home?”
“He’s working late tonight.”
Ollie’s face fell, but like the absolute queen she was, Aoife was quick to add, “It’s all good, Ols. You know he’ll pop next door to say goodnight to the three of you before bed. Same as always.”
“You promise he’s still better today?” Ollie pushed, brown eyes wide and full of innocence. “He’s not sick again?”
“I promise,” Aoife replied, though she had to clear her throat several times before adding, “Today is another good day, Ols.”
I was quite certain that I felt my heart crack in my chest. This wasn’t an everyday conversation that I was listening to. This orphan child was asking for reassurance that his heroin-addicted brother was still clean. From the girl who’d given birth to said brother’s baby only a few short weeks ago.
That poor kid.
That strong girl.
“Stop it,” Lizzie, who had suddenly appeared by my side, whispered in my ear. Slipping a tissue into my hand, she nudged me towards the door. “Not in front of the kid.”
Pretending that I had to answer my phone, I quickly pressed it to my ear and hurried outside, holding my breath the entire time.
When I had the door of the annex closed behind me, I choked out a sob and clutched my chest, as an array of different emotions battered my heart. “Oh God!”
“You alright there, Claire?” Johnny asked, appearing in the garage doorway with a look of confusion etched on his face. I knew from spending countless hours at the manor this past summer that the garage housed a state-of-the-art home gym.
“Uh-huh,” I choked out, using the tissue Liz gave me to blow my nose. “It’s just so sad.”
“Sad,” a little voice chimed in. It was only then I noticed the small boy clinging to Johnny’s legs. “Claire sad.”
“Hi Sean,” I sniffled, offering a bright smile to my bestie’s youngest brother. “And I’m not sad. I’m super happy.”
“Claire’s silly, isn’t she?” Johnny coaxed, scooping him up in his arms. “Because we’re not supposed to cry when we’re happy, are we? Hm? Tell her that she’s supposed to laugh.”
“Laugh,” Sean replied solemnly, and then he did the most adorable thing ever. He reached up and pulled at Johnny’s cheeks to make him smile. “See?”
Now, I did laugh. “Oh my God, you are just the cutest!”
“Do me a favor, will ya, big man?” Setting Sean back down, Johnny ruffled his curls before saying, “Run inside and ask Dellie if Johnny’s dinner is ready.”
With his little chest puffed out, Sean nodded eagerly before bolting off in the direction of the back door.
“I’m so sorry,” I blurted out when he was out of earshot.
“You’re only human,” Johnny replied, watching the preschooler like a hawk until he disappeared inside the manor. “It’s a lot to take in.”
“It just so heart-wrenching,” I admitted, following him into the garage, feeling ridiculously emotional. “How do you handle it?”
“With these,” he explained, pointing to the weights and gym equipment behind him. “It gets easier.”
“Usually, I’m okay,” I said. “But seeing Aoife and AJ, and then knowing everything they had to go through … ” My voice cracked and I had to press my tissue to my nose to stop it from dripping. “And then Ollie was asking her if Joey was better, and Aoife could only tell him that he was better today … ” Choking out another sob, I batted my tears away. “And then it hit me that Joe’s never going to be fully better, is he? Because there’s no cure for his disease!” Sniffling, I added, “He’ll always be an addict, with no promise of anything beyond today.”
“Yeah, Claire, he will.”
“But that’s so sad!” I choked out, unable to stop the wail that escaped me. “He’s trying so hard, with school and work and the baby! And they’ve been through so much! And Aoife’s so brave! And they still don’t get any guarantees for the future!”
Sighing heavily, Johnny sank down on his weight bench and patted the space beside him. “Come on.”
Wailing like a banshee, I slumped down beside him and dropped my head in my hands. “Why do bad things happen to good people?”
“I don’t know, Claire,” he replied, patting my shoulder. “I really don’t.”
“It’s just so shitty!”
“Yeah, it is,” he agreed, offering me a bottle of water. “But the fact that Shan and the boys are here today, still standing, still breathing? It’s a miracle in itself. As for Joey? He’s a force to be reckoned with. I’ve never seen a more resilient human in my life. Yeah, he’ll always be an addict, but he’s got a family in there worth staying sober for. A girl and a baby that not only would he fight to the death for, but he wants to live for. So, fuck guarantees and don’t bet against him. He’ll forge an epic future for Aoife and AJ, just like he forged a future for his siblings.”
