Earl Timothy Hubbard.
I finally find the strength to research the case. My case.
Ourย case.
Itโs made international headlines, branding Earl with the nickname of
The Matchmaker. Heโll be going down in history as a renowned serial killer after eleven bodies were discovered buried beneath his vast acreage. His
victims were taken in pairsโmale and female, with no blood relation or romantic connection. Earl had boxes and boxes of trophies, trinkets, and evidence stored in his attic, including Coraโs wallet and my leather jacket
and car keys. He had journal entries devoted to each โcoupleโ, though, none of the detailed contents have been released to the media. Itโs been alleged that, based on the diaries discovered, Earl groomed his victims into developing feelings for one anotherโand when he felt like they had successfully fallen in love, he would murder them in cold blood. He got off on watching his victims mourn over their lover being tortured to death.
Sick fucking shit.
I think back to that fateful night, dwelling on every little thing I did wrong. Each wrong turn and fatal slip of the tongue.
โShe your girl?โ
Earlโs question seemed harmless at the time. I had no idea Iโd be sealing our fate when I replied with a firm, โHell, no.โ I should have fucking lied,
but getting under Coraโs skin was more important. Pissing her off was more fun.
I had no idea I put the nails in our goddamn coffins.
Turns out the guy was a run-of-the-mill sales clerk for a company that
makes power tools. I had thought at first he was a dirty cop, but the flashing lights on his vehicle were only there to trick his victims into pulling over.
You hear about this shit in crime show documentariesโyou never even dream about it happening in real life.
I close out of the news articles as my skin heats up with prickling anxiety. I feel physically ill. Iโm cursing myself for reading this crapโIโm clearly not ready, and the wounds are still too fresh. Too raw. And I sure as fuck hope that Cora isnโt reading any of it.
I lean back against my couch cushions, closing my eyes as I try to get a handle on my breathing. Two dogs were confiscated off the premises and
are being held at animal control. One was a German Shepherd and the other was a Yorkie mix. Neither dogs looked threatening from the photographs. In fact, they looked terrified and malnourishedโa far cry from the rabid
beasts Iโd pictured gnawing on our skeletons. I wonder what kind of horrors Earl subjected those poor animals to.
At least they had each other.
I grab my cell phone off the side table when it starts to vibrate, not overly excited to see Mandyโs name staring back at me. And that makes me feel even shittier than I already do.
Mandy:ย Canโt wait to see u later babe! Pick u up at 7 ๐ ๐
Mandy is hosting her annual New Yearโs Eve bash tonight. Usually, we host it at my townhouse because itโs bigger than her modest two-bedroom
apartment, but given my current state of harrowing misery, we both agreed it would be better if she took care of the festivities this year. I honestly had no intention of goingโringing in the new year with a handle of vodka and my progressive rock playlist sounded far more appealing.
But Cora will be there.
I havenโt seen her since that confusing, hangover-infused post-Christmas morning, but weโve talked on the phone every night since.
We donโt talk about how we woke up in each otherโs arms, spooning, our legs impossibly entwined and my hand up her tank top.
The timeline of those early morning hours is hazy at best. I vaguely recall an Uber ride with a driver I was convinced was Kurt Cobain, and I kept asking for his autograph, followed by the smell of Coraโs daffodil hair quieting my demons and her warm breath against my neck lulling me to sleep. I remember a nightmare forcing me awake. And I remember eventually falling into the most comfortable sleep Iโve had in almost two monthsโฆ despite the raging migraine I woke up to at almost noon the next day.
When Cora finally untangled herself from my arms and our eyes met, there was an unspoken promise that we would never speak of it again.
So, we havenโt.
And sometimes we donโt speak much at allโsimply knowing the other one is on the opposite end of the line, breathing and alive, safe and warm, is a solace in itself.
โOh, my God, Dean!โ โYou look good!โ
โThank goodness youโre okay!โ
I wouldnโt say I lookย good, but I did manage to find a clean shirt that didnโt smell like last week, and I finally made the effort to shave, leaving just a shadow of stubble along my jaw.
And I wouldnโt say Iโmย okay. But Iโm here with a fake-as-fuck smile on my face, so I suppose itโs a step in the right direction.
As familiar faces and curious strangers crowd me with questions and compliments, I clench the spout of the beer in my hand, wondering if I could crack the glass with just my fist.
After all, my hands have broken far worse.
Mandy slides up behind me, snaking her arms around my midsection and holding tight. I feel her press kisses into the middle of my back, and I raise my unoccupied hand to pat her clasped palms. โGood party,โ I mutter.
Iโm lying. The party is awful and my head is pounding, and I feel like everything is spinning. There are people here I used to consider good
friends that I havenโt given a single thought to over the course of the last seven weeks. Are they even my friends? Am I completely desensitized to human connection?
I turn to see Cora walk through the door with her friend, Lily, bathed in sparkly silver and skinny jeans, her hair glowing with fresh highlights and a look in her eyes that resembles a cornered animal. My heart does a funny flip inside my chest, and I know that Iโm notย completelyย desensitized.
Cora puts the brakes on after stepping through the threshold, grasping Lilyโs hand and tugging the brunette backwards. The music is too loud to hear what theyโre saying, but Lily scrubs her hand up and down over Coraโs arm, comforting her in some way. Likely telling her that itโs not so bad. It will be just fine.
Sheโs a liar, Cora. Itโs a trap.
Mandy notices her sisterโs arrival and unlinks her arms from my waist, making a tipsy, enthusiastic jog over to Cora, who still appears frozen and ashen in the entryway. I sip my beer, watching the scene from afar, taking in the way Mandy pulls Cora in for a hug like life is raining down with
sunshine and puppy dogs.
Coraโs eyes meet mine over Mandyโs shoulder and I lower my beer, offering her a small, understanding smile. She sends the same one back to me. But before Iโm able to approach her to say hello, Iโm sucked into a conversation with one of my good friends, Reid. He slaps my shoulder, looking genuinely happy to see me, and we spend about fifteen minutes catching upโwell, he catchesย meย up. Iโm certain Reid has no desire to hear what Iโve been up to since we last saw each other in October.
When I break away to grab another beer, I find Cora in the kitchen clinging to her red plastic cup, engaging in conversation with Lily and a familiar looking guy I presume to be Jason. I pull a fresh beer out of the cooler and glance in their direction, deciding that I was absolutely correct: I donโt like Jason.
Heโs wearing a turtleneck for fuckโs sake.
And he keeps reaching out to touch herโher arm, her hand, her hip. He even pulled a piece of invisible lint out of her hair. Cora is all smiles and
niceties as she nods at him, but I can see her grip on the cup is tightening and her knee keeps bobbing up and down. Lily is laughing at whatever bullshit heโs spouting off, and hey, I think Lily and Jason would be perfect for each other now that I think about it.ย Letโs make that happen.
I decide to insert myself into the conversation.
Coraโs eyes dance over to me, lighting up when I push my way into their little three-way circle. โDean,โ she greets, a big smile pulling at her perfect, cherry-stained lips.
โThere you are,โ Lily says, leaning in for a one-armed hug, while her other hand clutches her own beverage. โCora said youโd probably be here. How are you?โ
โIโm doing good. Things are getting better.โ Itโs easy to lie when itโs all you ever do. โWhatโs new with you?โ
Lily chatters away about her job as a pharmacy technician, but my eyes keep darting over to Cora. Jason is playing on his cell phone as he nurses a beer, occasionally looking up to nod and smile. Iโm only half listening to Lily when I decide to blurt out, โCoraโs not interested.โ
Lily stops talking. Everybody stares at me.
Jason clears his throat, sucking down the rest of his beer and tossing the bottle into a nearby trash can. โIf that was directed at me, Iโm pretty sure
the woman can speak for herself.โ
โIโm sure she can, but as her soon-to-be brother-in-law, I have a responsibility to look out for her, and sheโs in no way ready to jump back into the dating pool. So, itโs my strong recommendation that you take your flirtation elsewhere.โ
Jason lets out a laugh that sounds anything but amused, while Lily tries to stifle her own laughterโhers definitely sounds amused, though.
Cora crosses her arms over her chest, glaring daggers at me. Her cheeks are flooding with color, her jaw tight. โWhat the hell, Dean? Iโm standing right here.โ
โI know.โ
Jason turns to me, his hands planted on his hips. โListen, man. I know you two went through some shit together, and I get that youโre looking out, butโโ
โSomeย shit?โ I repeat, twisting around to face him. This flippant motherfucker. โWe were chained up like dogs for three goddamn weeks,
kept alive with turkey sandwiches and well water, forced to do fucked up shit, while Coraโโ
โDean!โ Cora interrupts.
Jason holds his hands up. โIโm not trying to downplay anything. I was just talking to the girl.โ
Before I can get another word in, Cora snatches my hand and starts dragging me away from the kitchen. โExcuse us,โ she says over her shoulder.
She pulls me into Mandyโs bedroom and slams the door shut, pressing her back up against it. โWhat. The. Hell.โ
I let out a sigh, feeling a little regretful. Maybe those four beers hit me harder than I thought they would. โSorry, I was just trying to protect you.โ
She sets her cup down on Mandyโs dresser and takes a step closer to me, her eyes stony, her features taut. โYouย embarrassedย me.โ
โI wasnโt trying to.โ
โJason is a nice guy. Heโs always been polite and respectful. Besides, my sex life is none of your damn business.โ
โSex life?โ I arch an eyebrow as my insides spike with something that feels like jealousy. โYou want to have sex with him?โ
Her cheeks tinge brighter, her eyes floating away from mine. โWhether I do or I donโt, it doesnโt concern you.โ
I swallow. โYou looked uncomfortable. I was trying to help.โ
โI donโt want your help, Dean. You donโt need to protect me anymore.โ
She releases a slow breath, tipping her gaze to the ceiling. โAnd maybe I
was uncomfortable. Beingย hereย makes me uncomfortable. Iโm still trying to get acclimated to people and noise andย livingย again,โ Cora explains, her
tone strained with telltale emotion. โBut I donโt need a babysitter. I just need to rip the band aid off.โ
โYou think of me as a babysitter?โ I try to downplay the audacity in my voice by looking at my feet.
Cora is silent for a long time, prompting me to glance up. I find that her eyes are fixed on me. We hold for a beat before she replies, โI have no idea what you are to me.โ
At first, Iโm offended. Iโm outraged.ย After all weโve been through.ย Iโm about to respond, flustered and angry, when I realizeโฆ sheโs absolutely right. What the fuck are we?
Weโll never be friends. Weโre no longer enemies. We canโt be lovers. Where does that leave us?
Soldiers at war. Kindred spirits. Two lost, wandering souls with nothing, and everything, in common.
Orโฆ maybe not.
Maybe we arenโt something meant to be labeled. We transcend titles. And that, I fear, is the most powerful thing of all.
I lower my gaze to Coraโs chest, noting the locket dangling between her breasts. She carries a piece of me with her.
She carries a lot of my pieces with her.
I chew on my cheek, scuffing my foot against the tan carpeting. โHave you seen the recent updates on the case?โ
Cora looks taken off guard by the change of subject and starts scratching her wrist, her knee bobbing once again. โYeah. Itโs all over my newsfeed.โ
Dammit. I was hoping she hadnโt. โItโs all sorts of fucked. He was grooming these couples to fall in love or some shit before he killed themโฆ itโs sick and twisted.โ
Her eyes are wide and glazing over, her breath hitching on the inhale. โHe said our time was almost up. Did he thinkโฆ?โ
Our eyes meet.
And Iโm dead certain weโre both thinking about what happened against that pole before I tore Earlโs face off.
We both jump, startled, when thereโs an incessant pounding on the bedroom door. โCor? You in there?โ
Itโs Mandy.
โBe right out,โ Cora says, her voice clipped.
โYou little hussy! Are you with a guy?โ Mandy teases, then barges in, apparently not giving a crap if Cora is getting it on with some guy. She
stops in her tracks when she spots me. โOh. Hey, babe.โ
I stuff my hands into my pockets. Thereโs a flash of suspicion in her eyes and it makes me feel itchy. I know Mandy has seen the news reports about Earlโs true motives, but she hasnโt interrogated me yet. I gulp. โHey. We
were just talking.โ
A weird, awkward silence settles between the three of us, and I kind of want to just fall over and play dead like those goats do.
โSorry, I didnโt mean to interrupt,โ Mandy says, coughing into her hand as she tugs down her hot pink dress with the other. โWeโre about to play flippy cup.โ
I used to love flippy cup.
I used to love a lot of things.
โOkay, that sounds fun,โ Cora says, reaching for her discarded beverage and sparing me a glance. โCount me in.โ
The women walk out, and I stand there alone in the middle of the bedroomโin the middle ofย my fiancรฉโsย bedroomโconfused, rattled, and out of sorts.
What the hell did Earl see?
Itโs almost midnight and I canโt find her.
I know itโs wrong, I know itโs twisted, I know Iโm beyond wasted at this point, but itโs almost fucking midnight. Itโs almost a new year. And I know,
Iย know, I should be looking for Mandy right now, the woman Iโve rang in the last fifteen years with.
But I need to find Cora.
We went to Hell and back this yearโtogether. When the clock strikes twelve, itโs a clean slate. A metaphorical new beginning.
โTenโฆ nineโฆ eightโฆโ
I scan the partygoers who are chanting and smiling, their drinks splashing around in their hands as they wave their noisemakers.
โSevenโฆ sixโฆโ
I turn to the small balcony off the kitchen, and thatโs where I find her.
Sheโs leaning back against the rail, facing me. โFiveโฆ fourโฆโ
I make my way towards her, pushing through a mass of bodies, and reach for the sliding door handle, pulling it open.
โThreeโฆโ
A wave of cold air hits me, and I watch as her hair is set in motion from the wind. The sparkles on her blouse twinkle beneath the moonlight, her
eyes doing the same.
Sheโs waiting for me. โTwoโฆโ
Iโm about to step out onto the balcony when I feel fingers curl around my elbow.
โThere you are!โ
Iโm spun around in a circle.
โOne!โ
A mouth meets mine as celebratory cheers ring out around us. Mandy links her arms around my neck, pulling me in for our traditional midnight
kiss, and my body wants to protest, push back, disengageโฆ but I just stand there, my arms at my sides, and I allow her to kiss me. Iโm too drunk to put up much of a fight, and besides, what would be the point?
Sorry, babe. I kind of wanted to have some one-on-one time with your sister instead. Maybe next year.
Iโm a fucking asshole.
Mandy smiles as our lips part and she taps our noses together. That was our first real kiss since her birthday party on that fateful Saturday night.
โHappy New Year, Dean. This one will be betterโฆ I promise.โ She leans in for one more peck before adjusting the collar of my shirt and stepping back. โWant another drink?โ
I want to say yes, but Iโm already seeing double. โI think Iโm good. Iโm going to get going.โ
โOkay, Iโll drive you.โ
โNo, Iโll call an Uber. Youโre the party host, Mandy.โ
Sheโs about to argue, but Cora is suddenly beside me, her shoulder brushing up against my arm. โI can drive him. Lilyโs hitching a ride with Todd, and Iโm getting tired anyway.โ
Mandy puts on her gossip face. โOoh, scandalous. Iโll need details.โ Then, as if remembering our encounter in the bedroom earlier, her face falls and her eyes dart between us. โAre you sure, Cor? I donโt mind.โ
โDonโt be silly. You canโt leave your apartment unattended.โ
Mandy nibbles her lip, looking conflicted, until one of her friends starts calling her over for jello-shots. โYeah, okay. That works.โ She glances over to me. โCall me in the morning?โ
I nod.
Cora fishes through her purse for her car keys, then tips her head to the door, encouraging me to follow.
Itโs a silent ride to my townhouse, five miles on the other side of town, and I almost fall asleep. But Iโm too preoccupied with thinking about the last time we were in a car together, and every time we hit a stoplight, I half expect the window to be smashed open and for a new nightmare to begin.
She helps me into the house a few minutes later because things are starting to spin at this point, and I make my way to the bedroom on stumbling legs, unbuttoning my shirt as I walk. โCome on,โ I say to Cora, who is lingering in the doorway, quiet and unsure.
โI should get going. Itโs late.โ
I pause to face her. She looks nervous, but not the uncomfortable nervousโnot the Jason nervous. Itโs something else. โLie down with me.โ
A bold request. Goddamn alcohol controlling my tongue. โDeanโฆโ
โItโs not like we havenโt before.โ She blinks. โThat was a mistake.โ
I take a step towards her, my shirt hanging open. โI guess if you want to call the best sleep weโve had in almost two months a mistake, then sure.
Okay.โ
Cora ducks her head, lowering her eyes to the gray rug in my entryway. โYou know what Iโm talking about. Itโs not appropriate. Especially because weโve beenโฆโ She clears her throat. โIntimate.โ
โThose were fucked up circumstances. We didnโt have a choice.โ
โI know, but we have a choice now. We have our free will back, and itโs telling me itโs not a good idea to get in bed with my sisterโs fiancรฉ. Itโs wrong, Dean.โ She lifts her eyes back to me. โIโm sorry.โ
I canโt argue with her. I canโt argue with any of that. Iโm being torn in two directions, my mind telling me itโs not right and that Mandy would never be okay with it, and my fucking soul wanting nothing more than to feel Cora pressed up against my chest, the sound of her beating heart singing me to sleep like a goddamn lullaby.
Iโm so fucked.
I nod my head slowly, pressing my lips together. โYeah, youโre right.
“Happy New Year, Cora.” I give her a tired smile and start to turn awayโฆ but something holds me back, something that’s been gnawing at me for weeks. I stop her before she leaves. “Hey, wait a second.”
Cora turns to me, curiosity in her eyes. “Yeah?”
I rub the back of my head. “That thing I said in the car that nightโฆ about how you were dressed, about attracting the wrong kind of attentionโฆ” I force myself to meet her gaze, noticing the confused frown on her face. “That was wrong of me. I never want you to think what happened was your fault or that you brought it on yourself. It was a messed-up thing to say, and itโs been eating at me. I justโฆ you looked so damn beautiful, and I guess Iโve always felt this weird protectiveness over you. Seeing how men look at you drives me crazy.”
Cora starts wringing her hands, biting her lip hard enough that I worry she might hurt herself. “Oh. Umโฆ thank you.”
“Yeah, you’re welcome.” I rub the back of my neck, lowering my chin to my chest. “Well, goodnight.”
โGoodnight, Dean. Happy New Year.โ
I look up at her just as she shoots me the sweetest smile that makes my heart do things itย reallyย shouldnโt, and then sheโs gone. I think about that
smile as I crawl into bed a few minutes later, and I know I wonโt sleep well tonight, but Iโll definitely sleep a little easier.