Most OF MY TEACHERS WERE kind souls who just let me be, who understood all that I was dealing with and didnโt want to give me more. Mr. Dawson, who
played the organ in the chapel, was extremely gentle. Mr. Little, the drum teacher, was exceedingly patient. Confined to a wheelchair, heโd turn up for drum lessons in his van, and it would take us forever to get him out of the van and into the classroom, and then weโd have to leave enough time to get him back into the van after the lesson, so weโd never have more than twenty minutes of actual teaching. I didnโt mind, and in return Mr. Little didnโt ever complain that my drumming wasnโt really improving.
Some teachers, however, gave me no quarter. Like my history teacher, Mr.
Hughes-Games.
Day and night, from Mr. Hughes-Gamesโs bungalow beside the sports fields, came the shrill yelps of his pointers, Tosca and Beade. They were beautiful, spotted, gray-eyed, and Mr. Hughes-Games cherished them as children. He kept silver-framed photos of them on his desk, which was one reason many boys thought Mr. Hughes-Games a tad eccentric. So it came as a roaring shock when I realized that Mr. Hughes-Games believed me to be the odd one. What could be odder, he said to me one day, than a British prince not knowing British history?
I cannot fathom it, Wales. Weโre talking about your blood relativesโdoes that mean nothing to you?
Less than nothing, sir.
It wasnโt just that I didnโt know anything about my familyโs history: I didnโt want to know anything.
I liked British historyย in theory. I found certain bits intriguing. I knew a few things about the signing of the Magna Carta, for instanceโJune 1215, at Runnymedeโbut that was because Iโd once glimpsed the place where it happened through the window of Paโs car. Right by the river. Looked beautiful. Perfect spot
to establish peace, I thought. But micro details about the Norman Conquest? Or the ins and outs of the beef between Henry VIII and the Pope? Or the differences between the First and Second Crusades?
Please.
It all came to a head one day when Mr. Hughes-Games was talking about Charles Edward Stuart, or Charles III, as he thought of himself. Pretender to the Throne. Mr. Hughes-Games had strong opinions about the fellow. While he shared them with us, in a hot rage, I stared at my pencil and tried not to fall asleep.
Suddenly Mr. Hughes-Games stopped and posited a question about Charlesโs life. The answer was a cinch if youโd done the reading. No one had.
Walesโyou must know this. Why must I?
Because itโs your family!
Laughter.
I dropped my head. The other boys knew I was royal, of course. If they forgot for half a second, my omnipresent bodyguard (armed) and uniformed police scattered across the grounds would be more than happy to remind them. But did Mr. Hughes-Games need to shout it from the rooftops? Did he need to use that loaded wordโfamily? My family had declared me a nullity. The Spare. I didnโt complain about it, but I didnโt need to dwell on it either. Far better, in my mind, not to think about certain facts, such as the cardinal rule for royal travel: Pa and William could never be on the same flight together, because there must be no chance of the first and second in line to the throne being wiped out. But no one gave a damn whom I traveled with; the Spare could always be spared. I knew this, knew my place, so why go out of my way to study it? Why memorize the names of past spares? What was the sense in that?
More, why trace my family tree when all tracery led to the same severed branch
โMummy?
After class I went up to Mr. Hughes-Gamesโs desk and asked him to please stop.
Stop what, Wales? Embarrassing me, sir.
His eyebrows flew up to his hairline, like startled birds.
I argued that it would be cruel to single out any other boy the way he did me, to ask any other student at Ludgrove such pointed questions about his great-great-grand-whatever.
Mr. Hughes-Games harrumphed and snuffled. Heโd overstepped, he knew it.
But he was stubborn.
Itโs good for you, Wales. The more I call on you, the more youโll learn.
Days later, however, at the start of class, Mr. Hughes-Games made a proffer of peace, Magna Carta style. He presented me with one of those wooden rulers, engraved along both sides with the names of every British monarch since Harold in 1066. (Rulers, get it?) The royal line, inch by inch, right up to Granny. He said I could keep it at my desk, refer to it as needed.
Gosh, I said. Thanks.