I
opened the door, and Farrow stood there, his sandy hair wild and eyes wide. Sheer terror.
He sagged against the frame when I opened the door, like he was so
relieved to see me that all his muscles gave out.
Mine, on the other hand, tensed, as my fragile newfound hope smashed to the floor.
โYou have to go.โ
He said it so fast that the four words ran together in a single exhale. โWhatโโ
โTheyโre coming for you,โ he blurted out. โThey came to the city looking for help. Theyโre coming for him, and then for you. You have to go.โ
He grabbed my arm, as if ready to haul me away by force. But I remained rooted, stuck, dread falling over me like a cold shadow.
I didnโt need to ask who โtheyโ were.
Because I could picture Thomassenโs cold, suspicious stare. I could picture Valeโs ravens and magic. I could picture all the little marks of my friend I left around this house, now so blatantly, foolishly,ย stupidlyย obvious.
What was the obvious end to this story? Ignorant zealots who didnโt want to die were presented with a god that no longer loved them, and an illness that just kept spreading, and a vampire upon which they could blame it all.
Easy. A simple equation.ย Theyโre coming for you. Theyโre coming forย him.
โYou have some time, but you need to leave,โ Farrow was saying in the background. โYou can stay in my apartment in the city. Iโll have a carriage waiting andโโ
โNo.โ
I wrenched my arm out of his grip, turning back to my office. โNo?โ he echoed.
โTake Mina and leave without me.โ โBut Lilithโโ
Farrow kept talking, quickly, but I wasnโt listening to whatever he was saying. I let his voice run into the background.
We had no time for words. Only actions.
I grabbed my coat. My bag. My precious, precious bag. Mina. I needed toโ
โWhat do you mean, no?โ
Funny, how Farrowโs voice disappeared into the din of my rushing blood, while Minaโs, weak as it was, made every other sound disappear.
I could count on one hand the number of times Iโd heard her sound like that. Enraged.
I turned slowly. She stood in the doorway. Or, maybe โstoodโ was too strong a termโshe leaned heavily against the frame. I was struck all over again by how weak she lookedโit seemed like she had even shrunk. How long had she been standing there? Only long enough to hear Farrow arrive, and yet dust already gathered in the ridges of the floorboards at her feet.
I realized, with a sinking feeling, that Mina couldnโt go anywhere, no matter what Farrow said.
We were running out of time. My sisterโs was almost gone. My eyes slipped away. I rummaged through my bag.
The medicine. It was early. It was risky, butโ
โWhat do you mean,ย no?โ she repeated. โWhere are you going?โ โI justโฆโ My tongue wouldnโt cooperate with me.
She made a strangled sound, almost a humorless laugh. โYouโre going to him.โ
If I hadnโt been so distracted, I might have been surprised. My sister saw more of me than I thought she did.
I just said, โI have to go. Hereโโ โEnough, Lilith. Justโjustย stop.โ
Minaโs voice cut through the air like a blade, sharp enough to make me pause.
โLook at me,โ she demanded.
My fingers, deep in my bag, closed around that single precious vial of medicine. I couldnโt bring myself to lift my eyes.
โLook at me.ย You never look at me anymore.โ I turned around slowly.
I never found it necessary to look people in the eye when I spoke to them, a bad habit since childhood. But with Minaโฆ it was different. It wasnโt about discomfort or disinterest or manners. I had to force myself to meet her gaze, to acknowledge all the blatant signs of death devouring her. She stepped closer, not blinking. She had our fatherโs eyes. Light and bright, like the sky.
Right now, they begged me for something.
My risk calculation resolved to a single solution. โGive me your hand,โ I said.
It wasnโt what Mina wanted from me. I knew that. But I couldnโt give her that warmth, that affection. What I could do was try to save her life.
โDonโt go there,โ she said. โWe can fix this.โ
Ridiculous. What would โfixing itโ look like, in her mind? Restoring the status quo? Curling up to die quietly in a socially acceptable manner?
No.
โIย amย fixing it,โ I snapped. โGive me your arm.โ โThis isnโtโโ
โI refuse to let you all die.โ I didnโt mean to shout. I did anyway. โIt isnโt supposed to take you andย I wonโt let it.ย So give me your gods-damned hand.โ
Her jaw tightened until it trembled. Those blue eyes shone with tears.
But she thrust out her hand, exposing a forearm of pale skin so thin the webs of veins beneath were easy to see.
I didnโt give myself time to doubt as I filled the needle and injected her. She winced, and I realized I was so used to the durability of Valeโs skin that Iโd pushed too hard. A veil of dust fell to the floor. So fragile now.
I withdrew the needle and turned away abruptly.
โDonโt open the door for anyone. Iโll be back as soon as I can.โ
I thought sheโd tell me to stay, again. Thought sheโd still try to talk me out of it. Farrow was looking at me like I was some kind of foreign beastโ
the same way he looked at a specimen that didnโt make sense, his brow knitted, jaw tight. He was seeing something new in me, something that didnโt reconcile with the version of me he had always known.
Maybe I was seeing that in myself today, too. I couldnโt tell if it was a good or bad thing. โIโm coming with you,โ Farrow said.
I didnโt look at him. I grabbed the axe from the wall and threw my pack over my shoulder. โFine,โ I said. โThen letโs go.โ And I slammed the door behind me.