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โ€ŒChapter no 13

Siege and Storm (The Shadow and Bone Trilogy, #2) by Leigh Bardugo

The minding mhiteย gravel path led us through the palace grounds, past the rolling lawns and follies, and the high walls of the hedge maze. Tolya, ordinarily so still and silent, squirmed in his saddle, his mouth set in a sullen line.

โ€œSomething wrong?โ€ I asked.

I thought he might not answer, but then he said, โ€œIt smells like weakness here. Like people getting soft.โ€

I shot a glance at the giant warrior. โ€œEveryone is soft compared to you, Tolya.โ€

Tamar could usually be counted upon to laugh off her brotherโ€™s moods, but she surprised me by saying, โ€œHeโ€™s right. This place feels like itโ€™s dying.โ€

They werenโ€™t helping to settle my nerves. Our audience in the throne room had left me jittery, and I was still a little taken aback by the anger Iโ€™d felt toward the King, though Saints knew he deserved it. He was a filthy old lech who liked to corner servant girls, to say nothing of the fact that he was a rotten leader and had threatened to execute both me and Mal in the space of a few minutes. Even thinking about it, I felt another jab of bitter resentment.

My heart beat faster as we entered the wooded tunnel. The trees pressed in on us and, above, the branches wove together in a canopy of green. The last time Iโ€™d seen them, theyโ€™d been bare.

We emerged into bright sunshine. Below us lay the Little Palace.

I missed it, I realized. Iโ€™d missed the shine of its golden domes, those strange walls carved with every manner of beast, real and imagined. Iโ€™d missed the blue lake gleaming like a slice of sky, the tiny island not quite at its center, the white flecks of the Summonersโ€™ pavilions on its shore. It was a place like no other. I was surprised to discover how much it felt like home.

But not everything was as it had been. First Army soldiers were stationed around the grounds, rifles on their backs. I doubted theyโ€™d do much good against a force of determined Heartrenders, Squallers, and Inferni, but the message was clear: The Grisha were not to be trusted.

A group of servants dressed in gray waited on the steps to take our horses.

โ€œReady?โ€ Mal whispered as he helped me dismount.

โ€œI wish people would stop asking me that. Donโ€™t I look ready?โ€

โ€œYou look like you did when I slipped a tadpole into your soup and you accidentally swallowed it.โ€

I bit back a laugh, feeling some of my worry ease away. โ€œThanks for the reminder,โ€ I said. โ€œI donโ€™t think I ever paid you back for that.โ€

I paused to smooth the folds of myย kefta, taking my time in the hope that my legs would stop trembling. Then I climbed the steps, the others trailing behind me. The servants flung the doors open wide, and we stepped inside. We passed through the cool dark of the entry chamber and into the Hall of the Golden Dome.

The room was a giant hexagon with the proportions of a cathedral. Its carved walls were inlaid with mother-of-pearl and topped by a massive golden dome that seemed to float above us at an impossible height. There were four tables arranged in a square at the center of the room, and that was where the Grisha waited. Despite their diminished numbers, they still kept to their Orders, sitting or standing in tightly clustered groups of red, purple, and blue.

โ€œThey do love their pretty colors,โ€ grumbled Tolya.

โ€œDonโ€™t give me any ideas,โ€ I whispered. โ€œMaybe Iโ€™ll decide my personal guard should wear bright yellow pantaloons.โ€

For the first time, I saw an expression very much like fear cross his face.

We moved forward, and most of the Grisha rose to their feet. It was a young crowd, and with a hint of unease, I realized that many of the older, more seasoned Grisha had either defected to the Darkling or had been smart enough to escape.

I had expected that few Corporalki would remain. They had been the highest-ranking Grisha, the most skilled fighters, and closest to the Darkling.

There were still some familiar faces. Sergei was one of the few Heartrenders who had chosen to stay. Marie and Nadia stood with the Etherealki. I was taken aback to see David slumped at the Materialki table. I knew he had reservations about the Darkling, but that hadnโ€™t stopped him from fastening the stagโ€™s collar around my neck. Perhaps that was why he avoided my gaze. Or maybe he was simply eager to return to his workshop.

The Darklingโ€™s ebony chair had been removed, leaving his table empty. Sergei stepped forward first. โ€œAlina Starkov,โ€ he said, his voice tight.

โ€œIโ€™m pleased to welcome you back to the Little Palace,โ€ I noted, though he didnโ€™t bow.

Tension in the room was palpable, like a living force. Part of me wanted to shatter it. It would be easy to smile, laugh, and embrace Marie and Nadia. Though Iโ€™d never fully belonged here, I had managed to fit in well enough. It would be a relief to pretend I was one of them again. But I remembered Nikolaiโ€™s warnings and held myself back. Weakness is a guise.

โ€œThank you, Sergei,โ€ I said, deliberately informal. โ€œIโ€™m glad to be here.โ€

โ€œThere have been rumors of your return,โ€ he said. โ€œBut just as many of your death.โ€

โ€œAs you can see, Iโ€™m alive and as well as can be expected after weeks of travel on the Vy.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s said you arrived in the company of the Kingโ€™s second son,โ€ said Sergei.

There it was. The first challenge.

โ€œThatโ€™s right,โ€ I said pleasantly. โ€œHe aided in my battle with the Darkling.โ€

A stir went through the room.

โ€œOn the Fold?โ€ Sergei asked in some confusion.

โ€œOn the True Sea,โ€ I corrected. A murmur rose from the crowd. I held up my hand and, to my relief, they fell silent.ย Get them to follow the little orders, and theyโ€™ll follow the big ones.ย โ€œI have plenty of stories to tell and information to impart,โ€ I said. โ€œBut that can wait. Iโ€™ve returned to Os Alta with a purpose.โ€

โ€œPeople are talking of a wedding,โ€ said Sergei. Well, Nikolai would be thrilled.

โ€œI didnโ€™t come back here to be a bride,โ€ I said. โ€œIโ€™ve returned for a single reason.โ€ That wasnโ€™t entirely true, but I wasnโ€™t about to discuss the third amplifier in a room packed with Grisha of dubious loyalty. I took a breath. This was it. โ€œIโ€™ve returned to lead the Second Army.โ€

Everyone began talking at once. There were a few cheers, some angry shouts. I saw Sergei exchange a glance with Marie. When the room quieted he said, โ€œWe expected as much.โ€

โ€œThe King has agreed that I will hold command.โ€ย Temporarily, I thought, but did not say.

Another wave of shouts and chatter broke out.

Sergei cleared his throat, โ€œAlina, you are the Sun Summoner, and weโ€™re grateful for your safe return, but you arenโ€™t qualified to run a military campaign.โ€

โ€œQualified or not, I have the Kingโ€™s blessing.โ€

โ€œThen we will petition the King. The Corporalki are the highest- ranking Grisha and should lead the Second Army.โ€

โ€œAccording to you, bloodletter.โ€

As soon as I heard that silky voice, I knew who it belonged to, but my heart still lurched when I caught sight of her ravenโ€™s wing hair. Zoya stepped through the crowd of Etherealki, her lithe form swathed in blue summer silk that made her eyes glow like gemsโ€”disgustingly long- lashed gems.

It took everything in me not to turn around and watch Malโ€™s reaction. Zoya was the Grisha who had done all she could to make my life miserable at the Little Palace. Sheโ€™d sneered at me, gossiped about me, and even broken two of my ribs. But she was also the girl who had caught Malโ€™s interest so long ago in Kribirsk. I wasnโ€™t sure what had happened between them, but I doubted it was just lively conversation.

โ€œI speak for the Etherealki,โ€ said Zoya. โ€œAnd we will follow the Sun Summoner.โ€

I struggled not to show my surprise. She was the last person Iโ€™d expected to support me. What game might she be playing?

โ€œNot all of us,โ€ Marie piped up weakly. I knew I shouldnโ€™t be surprised, but it still hurt.

Zoya gave a disdainful laugh. โ€œYes, we know you support Sergei in all his endeavors, Marie. But this isnโ€™t a late-night tryst by theย banya. Weโ€™re talking about the future of the Grisha and all of Ravka.โ€

Snickers greeted Zoyaโ€™s pronouncement, and Marie turned bright red. โ€œThatโ€™s enough, Zoya,โ€ snapped Sergei.

An Etherealnik I didnโ€™t recognize stepped forward. He had dark skin and a faint scar high on his left cheek. He wore the embroidery of an Inferni.

โ€œMarie is right,โ€ he said. โ€œYou donโ€™t speak for all of us, Zoya. Iโ€™d prefer to see an Etherealnik at the head of the Second Army, but it shouldnโ€™t be her.โ€ He pointed an accusatory finger at me. โ€œShe wasnโ€™t even raised here.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s right!โ€ called out a Corporalnik. โ€œSheโ€™s been a Grisha less than a year!โ€

โ€œGrisha are born, not made,โ€ growled Tolya.

Of course, I thought with an internal sigh.ย He would choose now to come out of his shell.

โ€œAnd who are you?โ€ asked Sergei, his natural arrogance showing through.

Tolyaโ€™s hand went to his curved sword. โ€œI am Tolya Yul-Baatar. I was raised far from this corpse of a palace, and Iโ€™d be happy to prove that I can stop your heart.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re Grisha?โ€ Sergei asked incredulously.

โ€œAs much as you are,โ€ replied Tamar, her gold eyes flashing. โ€œAnd what about you?โ€ Sergei asked Mal.

โ€œIโ€™m just a soldier,โ€ Mal replied, moving to stand beside me. โ€œHer soldier.โ€

โ€œAs are we all,โ€ added Fedyor. โ€œWe returned to Os Alta to serve the Sun Summoner, not some posturing boy.โ€

Another Corporalnik got to his feet. โ€œYouโ€™re just one more coward who fled when the Darkling fell. You have no right to come here and insult us.โ€

โ€œAnd what about her?โ€ cried another Squaller. โ€œHow do we know she isnโ€™t working with the Darkling? She helped him destroy Novokribirsk.โ€

โ€œAnd she shared his bed!โ€ shouted another.

Never deign to deny, said Nikolaiโ€™s voice in my head.

โ€œJust what is your relationship with Nikolai Lantsov?โ€ demanded a Fabrikator.

โ€œWhat was your relationship with the Darkling?โ€ came a shrill voice. โ€œDoes it matter?โ€ I asked coolly, but I could feel my control slipping. โ€œOf course it does,โ€ said Sergei. โ€œHow can we be sure of your

loyalty?โ€

โ€œYou have no right to question her!โ€ shouted one of the Summoners. โ€œWhy?โ€ retorted a Healer. โ€œBecause sheโ€™s a living Saint?โ€

โ€œPut her in a chapel where she belongs!โ€ someone yelled. โ€œGet her and her rabble out of the Little Palace.โ€

Tolya reached for his sword. Tamar and Sergei both raised their hands. I saw Marie draw her flint and felt the swirl of Summoner winds lift the edges of myย kefta.ย I thought Iโ€™d been ready to face them, but I wasnโ€™t prepared for the flood of rage that coursed through me. The wound in my shoulder throbbed, and something inside me broke free.

I looked at Sergeiโ€™s sneering face, and my power rose up with clear and vicious purpose. I raised my arm. If they needed a lesson, I would give it to them. They could argue over the pieces of Sergeiโ€™s body. My hand arced through the air, slicing toward him. The light was a blade honed sharp by my fury.

At the last second, some sliver of sanity pierced the buzzing haze of my anger.ย No, I thought in terror as I realized what I was about to do. My panicked mind reeled. I swerved and threw the Cut high.

A resoundingย crackย shook the room. The Grisha screamed and backed away, crowding against the walls.

Daylight poured in through a jagged fissure above us. Iโ€™d split the golden dome open like a giant egg.

A deep silence followed as every Grisha turned to me in terrified disbelief. I swallowed, astonished by what Iโ€™d done, horrified by what Iโ€™d almost done. I thought of Nikolaiโ€™s advice and hardened my heart. They mustnโ€™t see my fear.

โ€œYou think the Darkling is powerful?โ€ I asked, startled by the icy clarity of my voice. โ€œYou have no idea what he is capable of. Only I have seen what he can do. Only I have faced him and lived to tell about it.โ€

I sounded like a stranger to my own ears, but I felt the echo of my power vibrating through me, and I pushed on. I turned slowly, meeting each stunned gaze.

โ€œI donโ€™t care if you think Iโ€™m a Saint or a fool or the Darklingโ€™s whore. If you want to remain at the Little Palace, you will follow me. And if you donโ€™t like it, you will be gone by tonight, or I will have you in chains. I am a soldier. I am the Sun Summoner. And Iโ€™m the only chance you have.โ€

I strode across the room and threw open the doors to the Darklingโ€™s chambers, giving silent thanks that they werenโ€™t locked.

I walked blindly down the hall, unsure of where I was going, but eager to get far from the domed hall before anyone saw that I was shaking.

By luck, I found my way to the war room. Mal entered behind me, and before he shut the door, I saw Tolya and Tamar taking up their posts. Fedyor and the others must have remained behind. Hopefully, theyโ€™d make their own peace with the rest of the Grisha. Or maybe theyโ€™d all just kill each other.

I paced back and forth in front of the ancient map of Ravka that ran the length of the far wall.

Mal cleared his throat. โ€œI thought that went well.โ€

A hysterical hiccup of laughter escaped my lips.

โ€œUnless you intended to bring the whole ceiling down on our heads,โ€ he said. โ€œThen I guess it was just a partial success.โ€

I nibbled my thumb and continued pacing. โ€œI had to get their attention.โ€

โ€œSo you meant to do that?โ€

I almost killed someone. I wanted to kill someone. It was the dome or Sergei, and Sergei would have been a lot tougher to patch up.

โ€œNot exactly,โ€ I admitted.

Suddenly, all the energy went out of me. I collapsed into a chair by the long table and rested my head in my hands. โ€œTheyโ€™re all going to leave,โ€ I moaned.

โ€œMaybe,โ€ Mal said, โ€œbut I doubt it.โ€

I buried my face in my arms. โ€œWho am I kidding? I canโ€™t do this.

This is like some kind of bad joke.โ€

โ€œI didnโ€™t hear anyone laughing,โ€ Mal said. โ€œFor someone who has no idea what sheโ€™s doing, Iโ€™d say youโ€™re managing pretty well.โ€

I peered up at him. He was leaning against the table, arms crossed, the ghost of a smile playing over his lips.

โ€œMal, I put aย hole in the ceiling.โ€ โ€œA very dramatic hole.โ€

I let out a huff somewhere between a laugh and a sob. โ€œWhat are we going to do when it rains?โ€

โ€œWhat we always do,โ€ he said. โ€œKeep dry.โ€

A knock came at the door, and Tamar poked her head in. โ€œOne of the servants wants to know if youโ€™ll be sleeping in the Darklingโ€™s chambers.โ€ I knew I would have to. I just wasnโ€™t looking forward to it. I rubbed my hands over my face and heaved myself out of the chair. Less than an hour at the Little Palace, and I was already exhausted. โ€œLetโ€™s go take a

look.โ€

The Darklingโ€™s quarters were just down the hall from the war room. A charcoal-clad servant led us into a large and rather formal common room furnished with a long table and a few uncomfortable-looking chairs. Each wall was set with a pair of double doors.

โ€œThese lead to a passage that will take you out of the Little Palace,ย moi soverenyi,โ€ the servant said, gesturing to the right. She pointed to the doors on the left and said, โ€œThose lead to the guardsโ€™ quarters.โ€

The doors directly across from us needed no explanation. They stretched from floor to ceiling, and their ebony wood was carved with the Darklingโ€™s symbol, the sun in eclipse.

I didnโ€™t feel quite ready to face that, so I ambled over to the guardsโ€™ quarters and peeked inside. Their common room was considerably cozier. It had a round table for playing cards, and several overstuffed chairs were set around a small tile oven for keeping warm in the winter. Through another door, I glimpsed rows of bunk beds.

โ€œI guess the Darkling had more guards,โ€ said Tamar. โ€œLots more,โ€ I replied.

โ€œWe could bring on some others.โ€

โ€œI thought about it,โ€ said Mal. โ€œBut I donโ€™t know that itโ€™s necessary, and Iโ€™m not sure who we can trust.โ€

I had to agree. Iโ€™d put a certain amount of faith in Tolya and Tamar, but the only person I really felt sure of was Mal.

โ€œMaybe we should consider drawing from the pilgrims,โ€ suggested Tamar. โ€œSome of them are former military. There must be a few good fighters among them, and theyโ€™d certainly lay down their lives for you.โ€

โ€œNot a chance,โ€ I replied. โ€œThe King would hear one whispered โ€˜Sankta Alinaโ€™ and have my neck in a noose. Besides, Iโ€™m not sure I want to put my life in the hands of someone who thinks I can rise from the dead.โ€

โ€œWeโ€™ll make do,โ€ said Mal.

I nodded. โ€œAll right. And โ€ฆ can someone see about having the roof fixed?โ€

Matching grins broke out on Tolyaโ€™s and Tamarโ€™s faces. โ€œCanโ€™t we leave it that way for just a few days?โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ I laughed. โ€œI donโ€™t want the whole thing caving in on us. Talk to the Fabrikators. They should know what to do.โ€ I ran my thumb over the raised ridge of flesh that ran the length of my palm. โ€œBut donโ€™t let them make it too perfect,โ€ I added. Scars made good reminders.

I returned to the main common room and addressed the servant hovering in the doorway. โ€œWeโ€™ll eat here tonight,โ€ I said. โ€œWill you see about trays?โ€

The servant raised her brows, then bowed and scurried off. I winced.

I was supposed to issue commands, not ask questions.

I left Mal and the twins discussing a schedule for the watch, and crossed to the ebony doors. The handles were two thin slivers of crescent moon made of what looked like bone. When I took hold of them and pulled, there was no creak or scrape of hinges. The doors slid open without a sound.

A servant had lit the lamps in the Darklingโ€™s chamber. I surveyed the room and let out a long breath. What had I been expecting? A dungeon?

A pit? That the Darkling slept suspended from the branches of a tree?

The chamber was hexagonal, its dark wood walls carved into the illusion of a forest crowded with slender trees. Above the huge canopied bed, the domed ceiling was wrought in smooth black obsidian and spangled with chips of mother-of-pearl laid out in constellations. It was an unusual room and certainly luxurious, but it was still just a bedroom.

The shelves were empty of books. The desk and dressing table were bare. All his possessions must have been taken away, probably burned or smashed to bits. I supposed I should have been glad the King hadnโ€™t torn the entire Little Palace down.

I walked to the side of the bed and smoothed my hand over the cool fabric of the pillow. It was good to know that some part of him was still human, that he laid his head down to rest at night like everyone else. But could I really sleep in his bed, beneath his roof?

With a start, I realized that the room smelled like him. I had never even noticed that he had a scent. I shut my eyes and breathed deeply. What was it? The crisp edge of a winter wind. Bare branches. The smell of absence, the smell of night.

The wound at my shoulder prickled, and I opened my eyes. The doors to the chamber were shut. I hadnโ€™t heard them close.

โ€œAlina.โ€

I whirled. The Darkling was standing on the other side of the bed. I clapped my hands over my mouth to stop my scream.

This isnโ€™t real, I told myself.ย Itโ€™s just another hallucination. Just like on the Fold.

โ€œMy Alina,โ€ he said softly. His face was beautiful, unscarred. Perfect.

I will not scream, because this isnโ€™t real, and when they come running, there will be nothing to see.

He walked slowly around the bed. His footsteps made no sound.

I closed my eyes, pressed my palms against them, counted to three. But when I opened them again, he was standing right before me.ย I will not scream.

I took a step backward, felt the press of the wall behind me. A choked sound squeaked free of my throat.

I will not scream.

He reached out.ย He canโ€™t touch me, I told myself.ย His hand will just pass through me like a ghost. Itโ€™s not real.

โ€œYou cannot run from me,โ€ he whispered.

His fingers brushed my cheek. Solid. Real. Iย feltย them.

Terror shot through me. I threw up my hands, and light blazed over the room in a brilliant wave that shimmered with heat. The Darkling vanished.

Footsteps clattered in the room outside. The doors were thrown open.

Mal and the twins charged in, weapons in hand.

โ€œWhat happened?โ€ Tamar asked, scanning the empty room. โ€œNothing,โ€ I said, forcing the word past my lips, hoping my voice

sounded normal. I buried my hands in the folds of myย keftaย to hide their trembling. โ€œWhy?โ€

โ€œWe saw the light andโ€”โ€

โ€œJust a bit gloomy in here,โ€ I said. โ€œAll the black.โ€

They stared at me for a long moment. Then Tamar looked around. โ€œIt is pretty grim. You may want to think about redecorating.โ€

โ€œDefinitely on my list.โ€

The twins took another glance around the room and then headed out the door, Tolya already grumbling to his sister about dinner. Mal stood in the doorway, waiting.

โ€œYouโ€™re shaking,โ€ he said.

I knew he wouldnโ€™t ask me to explain this time. He shouldnโ€™t have had to. I should have offered him the truth without having to be asked. But what could I say? That I was seeing things? That I was mad? That we would never be safe, no matter how far we ran? That I was as broken as the Golden Dome, but something far worse than daylight had crept inside of me?

I stayed silent.

Mal gave a single shake of his head, then simply walked away. I stood alone in the center of the Darklingโ€™s empty rooms.

Call to him, I thought desperately.ย Tell him something. Tell him everything.

Mal was just a few feet away, on the other side of that wall. I could say his name, bring him back, and tell it allโ€”what had happened on the Fold, what Iโ€™d almost done to Sergei, what Iโ€™d seen just moments before. I opened my mouth, but the same words came to me again and again.

I will not scream. I will not scream. I will not scream.

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