Thereโs blood everywhere.
Adam is on the ground, clutching his body, but I donโt know where heโs been shot. There are soldiers swarming around him and Iโm clawing at the arms holding me back, kicking the air, crying out into the emptiness. Someone is dragging me away and I canโt see what theyโve done to Adam. Pain is seizing my limbs, cramping my joints, breaking every single bone in my body. I want to shriek through the sky, I want to fall to my knees and sob into the earth. I donโt understand why the agony isnโt finding escape in my screams. Why my mouth is covered with someone elseโs hand.
โIf I let go, you have to promise not to scream,โ he says to me.
Heโs touching my face with his bare hands and I donโt know where I dropped my gun.
Warner drags me into a still-functioning building and kicks open a door. Hits a switch. Fluorescent lights flicker on with a dull hum. There are paintings taped to the walls, alphabet rainbows stapled to corkboards. Small tables scattered across the room. Weโre in a classroom.
I wonder if this is where James goes to school.
Warner drops his hand. His glassy green eyes are so delighted Iโm petrified. โGod I missed you,โ he says to me. โYou didnโt actually think Iโd let you go so easily?โ
โYou shot Adam,โ are the only words I can think of. My mind is muddled with disbelief. I keep seeing his beautiful body crumpled on the ground, red red red. I need to know if heโs alive. He has to be alive.
Warnerโs eyes flash. โKent is dead.โ
โNoโโ
Warner backs me into a corner and I realize Iโve never been so defenseless in my life. Never so vulnerable. 17 years I spent wishing my curse away, but in this moment Iโm more desperate than ever to have it back. Warnerโs eyes warm unexpectedly. His constant shifts in emotion are difficult to anticipate. Difficult to counter.
โJuliette,โ he says. He touches my hand so gently it startles me. โDid you notice? It seems I am immune to your gift.โ He studies my eyes. โIsnโt that incredible? Did you notice?โ he asks again. โWhen you tried to escape? Did you feel it . . . ?โ
Warner who misses absolutely nothing. Warner who absorbs every single detail.
Of course he knows.
But Iโm shocked by the tenderness in his voice. The sincerity with which he wants to know. Heโs like a feral dog, crazed and wild, thirsty for chaos, simultaneously aching for recognition and acceptance.
Love.
โWe can really be together,โ he says to me, undeterred by my silence. He pulls me close, too close. Iโm frozen in five hundred layers of fear. Stunned in grief, in disbelief.
His hands reach for my face, his lips for mine. My brain is on fire, ready to explode from the impossibility of this moment. I feel like Iโm watching it happen, detached from my own body, incapable of intervening. More than anything else, Iโm shocked by his gentle hands, his earnest eyes.
โI want you to choose me,โ he says. โI want you to choose to be with me. I want you to want thisโโ
โYouโre insane,โ I choke. โYouโre psychoticโโ
โYouโre only afraid of what youโre capable of.โ His voice is soft. Easy. Slow. Deceptively persuasive. Iโd never realized before just how attractive his voice is. โAdmit it,โ he says. โWeโre perfect for each other. You want the power. You love the feel of a weapon in your hand. Youโre
. . . attracted to me.โ
I try to swing my fist but he catches my arms. Pins them to my sides. Presses me up against the wall. Heโs so much stronger than he looks. โDonโt lie to yourself, Juliette. Youโre going to come back with me whether you like it or not. But you can choose to want it. You can choose to enjoy itโโ
โI will never,โ I breathe, broken. โYouโre sickโyouโre a sick, twisted monsterโโ
โThatโs not the right answer,โ he says, and seems genuinely disappointed.
โItโs the only answer youโll ever get from me.โ
His lips come too close. โBut I love you.โ โNo you donโt.โ
His eyes close. He leans his forehead against mine. โYou have no idea what you do to me.โ
โI hate you.โ
He shakes his head very slowly. Dips down. His nose brushes the nape of my neck and I stifle a horrified shiver that he misunderstands. His lips touch my skin and I actually whimper. โGod Iโd love to just take a bite out of you.โ
I notice the gleam of silver in his inside jacket pocket.
I feel a thrill of hope. A thrill of horror. Brace myself for what I need to do. Spend a moment mourning the loss of my dignity.
And I relax.
He feels the tension seep out of my limbs and responds in turn. He smiles, loosens his clamp on my shoulders. Slips his arms around my waist. I swallow the vomit threatening to give me away.
His military jacket has a million buttons and I wonder how many Iโll have to undo before I can get my hands on the gun. His hands are exploring my body, slipping down my back to feel the form of my figure and itโs all I can do to keep from doing something reckless. Iโm not skilled enough to overpower him and I have no idea why heโs able to touch me. I have no idea why I was able to crash through concrete yesterday. I have no idea where that energy came from.
Today heโs got every advantage and itโs not time to give myself away. Not yet.
I place my hands on his chest. He presses me into the curve of his
body. Tilts my chin up to meet his eyes. โIโll be good to you,โ he whispers. โIโll be so good to you, Juliette. I promise.โ
I hope Iโm not visibly shaking.
And he kisses me. Hungrily. Desperately. Eager to break me open and taste me. Iโm so stunned, so horrified, so cocooned in insanity I forget myself. I stand there frozen, disgusted. My hands slip from his chest. All I can think about is Adam and blood and Adam and the sound of gunshots and Adam lying in a pool of blood and I nearly shove him off of me. But Warner will not be discouraged.
He breaks the kiss. Whispers something in my ear that sounds like nonsense. Cups my face in his hands and this time I remember to pretend. I pull him closer, grab a fistful of his jacket and kiss him as hard as I can, my fingers already attempting to release the first of his buttons. Warner grips my hips and allows his hands to conquer my body. He tastes like peppermint, smells like gardenias. His arms are strong around me, his lips soft, almost sweet against my skin. Thereโs an electric charge between us I hadnโt anticipated.
My head is spinning.
His lips are on my neck, tasting me, devouring me, and I force myself to think straight. I force myself to understand the perversion of this situation. I donโt know how to reconcile the confusion in my mind, my hesitant repulsion, my inexplicable chemical reaction to his lips. I need to get this over with. Now.
I reach for his buttons.
And heโs unnecessarily encouraged.
Warner lifts me by the waist, hoists me up against the wall, his hands cupping my backside, forcing my legs to wrap around him. He doesnโt realize heโs given me the perfect angle to reach into his coat.
His lips find my lips, his hands slip under my shirt and heโs breathing hard, tightening his grip around me, and I practically rip open his jacket in desperation. I canโt let this go on much longer. I have no idea how far Warner wants to push things, but I canโt keep encouraging his insanity.
I need him to lean forward just an inch moreโ My hands wrap around the gun.
I feel him freeze. Pull back. I watch his face phase through frames of confusion/dread/anguish/horror/anger.
He drops me to the floor just as my fingers pull the trigger for the very first time.
The power and strength of the weapon is disarming, the sound so much louder than I anticipated. The reverberations are vibrating through my ears and every pulse in my body.
Itโs a sweet sort of music. A small sort of victory.
Because this time the blood is not Adamโs.