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Chapter no 20

Shadow and Bone

WE WALKED IN SILENCE for over an hour. I stared numbly down at my feet, watching my boots move through the snow, thinking about the stag and the price of my weakness. Eventually, I saw firelight flickering through the trees, and we emerged into a clearing where a small camp had been made around a roaring fire. I noted several small tents and a group of horses tethered amid the trees. Twoย oprichnikiย sat beside the fire, eating their evening meal.

Malโ€™s guards took him to one of the tents, pushing him inside and following after. I tried to catch his eye, but he disappeared too quickly.

Ivan dragged me across the camp to another tent and gave me a shove. Inside, I saw several bedrolls laid out. He pushed me forward and gestured to the pole at the center of the tent. โ€œSit,โ€ he ordered. I sat with my back to the pole, and he tethered me to it, tying my hands behind my back and binding my ankles.

โ€œComfortable?โ€

โ€œYou know what he plans to do, Ivan.โ€ โ€œHe plans to bring us peace.โ€

โ€œAt what price?โ€ I asked desperately. โ€œYou know this is madness.โ€

โ€œDid you know I had two brothers?โ€ Ivan asked abruptly. The familiar smirk was gone from his handsome face. โ€œOf course not. They werenโ€™t born Grisha. They were soldiers, and they both died fighting the Kingโ€™s wars. So did my father. So did my uncle.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m sorry.โ€

โ€œYes, everyone is sorry. The King is sorry. The Queen is sorry. Iโ€™m sorry.

But only the Darkling will do something about it.โ€

โ€œIt doesnโ€™t have to be this way, Ivan. My power could be used to destroy the Fold.โ€

Ivan shook his head. โ€œThe Darkling knows what has to be done.โ€

โ€œHeโ€™ll never stop! You know that. Not once heโ€™s had a taste of that kind of power. Iโ€™m the one wearing the collar now. But eventually, it will be all of you. And there wonโ€™t be anyone or anything strong enough to stand in his way.โ€

A muscle twitched in Ivanโ€™s jaw. โ€œKeep talking treason and Iโ€™ll gag you,โ€ he said, and without another word, he strode out of the tent.

A while later, a Summoner and a Heartrender ducked inside. I didnโ€™t recognize either of them. Avoiding my gaze, they silently hunched into their furs and blew out the lamp.

I sat awake in the dark, watching the flickering light of the campfire play over the canvas walls of the tent. I could feel the weight of the collar against my neck, and my bound hands itched to claw at it. I thought of Mal, just a few feet away in another tent.

Iโ€™d brought us to this. If Iโ€™d taken the stagโ€™s life, his power would have been mine. Iโ€™d known what mercy might cost us. My freedom. Malโ€™s life. The lives of countless others. And still Iโ€™d been too weak to do what needed to be done.

That night, I dreamed of the stag. I saw the Darkling cut his throat again and again. I saw the life fading from his dark eyes. But when I looked down, it was my blood that spilled red into the snow.

With a gasp, I woke to the sounds of the camp coming to life around me. The tent flap opened and a Heartrender appeared. She cut me loose from the tent pole and dragged me to my feet. My body creaked and popped in protest, stiff from a night spent sitting in a cramped position.

The Heartrender led me over to where the horses were already saddled and the Darkling stood talking quietly to Ivan and the other Grisha. I looked around for Mal and felt a sudden jab of panic when I couldnโ€™t find him, but then I saw anย oprichnikย pull him from the other tent.

โ€œWhat do we do with him?โ€ the guard asked Ivan.

โ€œLet the traitor walk,โ€ Ivan replied. โ€œAnd when he gets too tired, let the horses drag him.โ€

I opened my mouth to protest, but before I could say a word, the Darkling spoke.

โ€œNo,โ€ he said, gracefully mounting his horse. โ€œI want him alive when we reach the Shadow Fold.โ€

The guard shrugged and helped Mal mount his horse, then tied his shackled hands to the saddle horn. I felt a rush of relief followed by a sharp prickle of fear. Did the Darkling intend for Mal to stand trial? Or did he have something far worse in mind for him?ย Heโ€™s still alive, I told myself,ย and that means thereโ€™s still a chance to save him.

โ€œRide with her,โ€ the Darkling said to Ivan. โ€œMake sure she doesnโ€™t do anything stupid.โ€ He didnโ€™t spare me another glance as he kicked his horse into a trot.

We rode for hours through the forest, past the plateau where Mal and I had waited for the herd. I could just see the boulders where weโ€™d spent the night, and I wondered if the light that had kept us alive through the snowstorm had been the very thing that led the Darkling to us.

I knew he was taking us back to Kribirsk, but I hated to think what might be waiting for me there. Who would the Darkling choose to move against first? Would he launch a fleet of sandskiffs north to Fjerda? Or did he intend to march south to drive the Fold into the Shu Han? Whose deaths would be on

my hands?

It took another night and day of travel before we reached the wide roads that would lead us south to the Vy. We were met at the crossroads by a huge contingent of armed men, most of them inย oprichnikiย gray. They brought fresh horses and the Darklingโ€™s coach. Ivan dumped me on the velvet cushions with little ceremony and climbed inside after me. Then, with a snap of the reins, we were moving again.

Ivan insisted we keep the curtains drawn, but I snuck a peek outside and saw that we were flanked by heavily armed riders. It was hard not to be reminded of the first trip Iโ€™d made with Ivan in this same vehicle.

The soldiers made camp at night, but I was kept in isolation, confined to the Darklingโ€™s coach. Ivan brought me my meals, clearly disgusted at having to play nursemaid. He refused to speak to me as we rode and threatened to slow my pulse enough to send me into unconsciousness if I persisted in asking about Mal. But I asked every day anyway and kept my eyes trained on the little crack of window visible between curtain and coach, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

I slept poorly. Every night, I dreamed of the snowy glade, and the stagโ€™s dark eyes, staring at me in the stillness. It was a nightly reminder of my failure and the sorrow my mercy had reaped. The stag had died anyway, and now Mal and I were doomed. Every morning, I woke with a fresh sense of guilt and shame, but also with the frustrating feeling that I was forgetting something, some message that had been clear and obvious in the dream but that hovered just outside of understanding when I woke.

I didnโ€™t see the Darkling again until we reached the outskirts of Kribirsk, when the door to the coach suddenly opened and he slid into the seat opposite me. Ivan vanished without a word.

โ€œWhereโ€™s Mal?โ€ I asked as soon as the door had closed.

I saw the fingers of his gloved hand clench, but when he spoke, his voice was as cold and smooth as ever. โ€œWeโ€™re entering Kribirsk,โ€ he said. โ€œWhen we are greeted by the other Grisha, you will not say a word about your little excursion.โ€

My jaw dropped. โ€œThey donโ€™t know?โ€

โ€œAll they know is that youโ€™ve been in seclusion, preparing for your crossing of the Shadow Fold with prayer and rest.โ€

A dry bark of laughter escaped me. โ€œI certainly look well rested.โ€ โ€œIโ€™ll say youโ€™ve been fasting.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s why none of the soldiers in Ryevost were looking for me,โ€ I said with dawning understanding. โ€œYou never told the King.โ€

โ€œIf word of your disappearance had gotten out, you would have been hunted down and killed by Fjerdan assassins within days.โ€

โ€œAnd you would have had to account for losing the kingdomโ€™s only Sun

Summoner.โ€

The Darkling studied me for a long moment. โ€œJust what kind of life do you think you could have with him, Alina? Heโ€™sย otkazatโ€™sya.ย He can never hope to understand your power, and if he did, heโ€™d only come to fear you. There is no ordinary life for people like you and me.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m nothing like you,โ€ I said flatly.

His lips curled in a tight, bitter smile. โ€œOf course not,โ€ he said courteously. Then he knocked on the roof of the coach and it rolled to a stop. โ€œWhen we arrive, youโ€™ll say your hellos, then plead exhaustion and retire to your tent. And if you do anything reckless, I will torture the tracker until he begs me to take his life.โ€

And he was gone.

I rode the rest of the way into Kribirsk alone, trying to stop trembling.ย Mal is alive, I told myself.ย Thatโ€™s all that matters.ย But another thought crept in.ย Maybe the Darkling is letting you believe heโ€™s still alive just to keep you in line.ย I wrapped my arms around myself, praying that it wasnโ€™t true.

I pulled back the curtains as we rode through Kribirsk and felt a pang of sadness as I remembered walking this same road so many months ago. Iโ€™d nearly been crushed by the very coach I was riding in. Mal had saved me, and Zoya had looked at him from the window of the Summonersโ€™ coach. Iโ€™d wished to be like her, a beautiful girl in a blueย kefta.

When we finally pulled up to the immense black silk tent, a crowd of Grisha swarmed around the coach. Marie and Ivo and Sergei rushed forward to greet me. I was surprised at how good it felt to see them again.

As they caught sight of me, their excitement vanished, replaced by worry and concern. Theyโ€™d expected a triumphant Sun Summoner, wearing the greatest amplifier ever known, radiant with power and the favor of the Darkling. Instead, they saw a pale, tired girl, broken by misery.

โ€œAre you all right?โ€ Marie whispered when she hugged me. โ€œYes,โ€ I promised. โ€œJust worn out from the journey.โ€

I did my best to smile convincingly and reassure them. I tried to feign enthusiasm as they marveled at Morozovaโ€™s collar and reached out to touch it.

The Darkling was never far from view, a warning in his eyes, and I kept moving through the crowd, grinning until my cheeks hurt.

As we passed through the Grisha pavilion, I caught sight of Zoya sulking on a pile of cushions. She stared greedily at the collar as I passed.ย Youโ€™re welcome to it, I thought bitterly, and hurried my steps.

Ivan led me to a private tent close to the Darklingโ€™s quarters. Fresh clothes were waiting on my camp cot along with a tub of hot water and my blueย kefta.ย It had only been a few weeks, but it felt strange to wear Summonersโ€™ colors again.

The Darklingโ€™s guards were stationed all around the perimeter of my tent.

Only I knew they were there to monitor as well as protect me. The tent was luxuriously appointed with piles of furs, a painted table and chairs, and a Fabrikator mirror, clear as water and inlaid with gold. I would have traded it all in an instant to shiver beside Mal on a threadbare blanket.

I had no visitors, and I spent my days pacing back and forth with nothing to do but worry and imagine the worst. I didnโ€™t know why the Darkling was waiting to enter the Shadow Fold or what he might be planning, and my guards certainly werenโ€™t interested in discussing it.

On the fourth night, when the flap of my tent opened, I nearly fell off my cot. There was Genya, holding my dinner tray and looking impossibly gorgeous. I sat up, unsure of what to say.

She entered and set down the tray, hovering near the table. โ€œI shouldnโ€™t be here,โ€ she said.

โ€œProbably not,โ€ I admitted. โ€œIโ€™m not sure that Iโ€™m supposed to have visitors.โ€

โ€œNo, I mean I shouldnโ€™t beย here. Itโ€™s incredibly dirty.โ€

I laughed, suddenly very glad to see her. She smiled slightly and settled herself gracefully on the edge of the painted chair.

โ€œTheyโ€™re saying youโ€™ve been in seclusion, preparing for your ordeal,โ€ she said.

I examined Genyaโ€™s face, trying to glean how much she knew. โ€œI didnโ€™t have a chance to say goodbye before I โ€ฆ went away,โ€ I said carefully.

โ€œIf you had, I would have stopped you.โ€ So she knew Iโ€™d run. โ€œHowโ€™s Baghra?โ€

โ€œNo oneโ€™s seen her since you left. She seems to have gone into seclusion, too.โ€

I shuddered. I hoped that Baghra had escaped, but I knew it was unlikely.

What price had the Darkling exacted for her betrayal?

I bit my lip, hesitating, and then decided to take what might be my only chance. โ€œGenya, if I could get word to the King. Iโ€™m sure he doesnโ€™t know what the Darkling is planning. Heโ€”โ€

โ€œAlina,โ€ Genya interrupted, โ€œthe King has taken ill. The Apparat is ruling in his stead.โ€

My heart sank. I remembered what the Darkling had said the day that Iโ€™d met the Apparat:ย He has his uses.

And yet, the priest hadnโ€™t just spoken of toppling Kings, but Darklings as well. Had he been trying to warn me? If only Iโ€™d been less fearful. If only Iโ€™d been more willing to listen. More regrets to add to my long list. I didnโ€™t know if the Apparat was truly loyal to the Darkling or if he might be playing a deeper game. And now there was no way to find out.

The hope that the King might have the desire or will to oppose the Darkling had been a slim one, but it had given me something to hold on to over the last

few days. Now that hope was undone, too. โ€œWhat about the Queen?โ€ I asked with faint optimism.

A fierce little smile passed over Genyaโ€™s lips. โ€œThe Queen is confined to her quarters. For her own safety, of course. Contagion, you know.โ€

That was when I realized what Genya was wearing. Iโ€™d been so surprised to see her, so caught up in my own thoughts, that I hadnโ€™t really taken it in. Genya was wearing red. Corporalki red. Her cuffs were embroidered with blue, a combination I had never seen before.

A chill slid up my spine. What role had Genya played in the Kingโ€™s sudden illness? What had she traded to wear full Grisha colors?

โ€œI see,โ€ I said quietly.

โ€œI did try to warn you,โ€ she said with some sadness. โ€œAnd you know what the Darkling plans to do?โ€ โ€œThere are rumors,โ€ she said uncomfortably. โ€œTheyโ€™re all true.โ€

โ€œThen it has to be done.โ€

I stared at her. After a moment, she looked down at her lap. Her fingers pleated and unpleated the folds of herย kefta.ย โ€œDavid feels terrible,โ€ she whispered. โ€œHe thinks heโ€™s destroyed all of Ravka.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s not his fault,โ€ I said with an empty laugh. โ€œWe all did our part to bring about the end of the world.โ€

Genya looked up sharply. โ€œYou donโ€™t really believe that.โ€ Distress was written on her face. Was there a warning there as well?

I thought of Mal and the Darklingโ€™s threats. โ€œNo,โ€ I said hollowly. โ€œOf course not.โ€

I knew she didnโ€™t believe me, but her brow cleared, and she smiled her soft, beautiful smile at me. She looked like a painted icon of a Saint, her hair a burnished copper halo. She rose, and as I walked with her to the flap of the tent, the stagโ€™s dark eyes loomed up in my mind, the eyes I saw every night in my dreams.

โ€œFor what itโ€™s worth,โ€ I said, โ€œtell David I forgive him.โ€ย And I forgive you, too, I added silently. I meant it. I knew what it was to want to belong.

โ€œI will,โ€ she said quietly. She turned and disappeared into the night, but not before I saw that her lovely eyes were full of tears.

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