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Chapter no 32

Say You Swear

Arianna

Thanksgiving at my house has always been a big event. My aunt

and uncle would come down from Alrick with our cousins, and Brady, Chase, and Cameronโ€™s families would be there too, plus or minus a few additions theyโ€™d bring, depending on the year.

My dad would set up the garage, which served as nothing more than his man cave for him and the boys on a normal day. The wives took care of the indoor food while the men had contests on who could cook the best turkey. We werenโ€™t allowed to know who made which one once it was plated but voted on our favorites at the endโ€”Uncle Ian, Nateโ€™s dad, won every year.

Pretty sure heโ€™d wink at his wife to swing her vote when she served her plate.

It might be my favorite holiday, tradition-wise, so thereโ€™s a little sadness this year knowing our parents wonโ€™t be hereโ€ฆ but we would never tell them that.

Their once-in-a-lifetime adventure ends just after the first of the year, when Bradyโ€™s dad has to report back to base, so there is always next time.

This year, though, weโ€™re trying to ignore the difference by hosting our own at the beach house, and when we leave, weโ€™re bringing my brother back with us.

โ€œYou didnโ€™t get to come inside the place last time, huh?โ€

โ€œNope.โ€ Noah reaches over the side of his truck for our bags. โ€œYou left me out on the sand.โ€

Spinning to face him, I lift a brow. โ€œYou shouldnโ€™t have hit me in the head with that football.โ€

Noah drops our stuff, rushes over and wraps me up. He spins me around, planting a hard, quick kiss to my lips. โ€œBest thing I ever did was miss that pass.โ€

โ€œMmm.โ€ I peck at his lips. โ€œAnd here I was thinking the best thing you ever did was toss me on the bed andโ€”โ€

โ€œDonโ€™t finish that sentence.โ€

I whip around, my smile stretching at the sight of my brother. I kick my legs and Noah sets me on my feet. I rush Mason, throwing my arms around him, and he groans, his jaw clamping shut.

My hands fly away, my eyes wide. โ€œShit. Sorry.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s fine. Come here.โ€ His arms pull me in, a long exhale slipping from him. โ€œIโ€™m okay, baby sister. Promise.โ€

โ€œYeah?โ€ I blink back my emotions.

โ€œI was fucked off for a couple weeks,โ€ he admits. โ€œBut Iโ€™m good now.โ€ โ€œThank god for that.โ€

I turn to find Payton leaning against the doorframe, her belly swollen and looking ready to pop.

โ€œOh my god,โ€ I coo, rushing over. โ€œLook at you.โ€ I hug her, and when I look to her stomach, she giggles.

โ€œGo ahead, feel me up.โ€

Grinning, I place my palms on her belly, feeling the firmness of the left side and gliding my palm right, where it smooths out again. I then move it

back right. โ€œIs this him?โ€

Payton nods. โ€œHe likes to squash my lungs.โ€ โ€œPretty cool, huh?โ€ Mason steps up.

I cut him a curious glance. โ€œYeah, it is.โ€

โ€œWhen are you due? I feel like youโ€™ve been pregnant forever.โ€

โ€œNext week. Your cousin and I just finished getting the nursery together.

Youโ€™ll have to come see it.โ€ โ€œKenra?โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ she sighs playfully. โ€œNate.โ€

A laugh flies from me, and she grins.

โ€œTrust me, I was just as surprised while it was happening.โ€

โ€œI bet.โ€ I nod, turning to Noah as he steps up, taking Masonโ€™s outstretched hand.

โ€œRiley.โ€ He raises a brow. โ€œLooks like my sisterโ€™s still in one piece. This shit serious now, or what?โ€ He frowns.

โ€œItโ€™s whatever she wants it to be.โ€

Masonโ€™s lips curl up. โ€œGood fucking answer, my man.โ€ He chuckles, turning to Payton. โ€œPayton, Noah, Noah, Payton.โ€

โ€œHi Payton.โ€

Her cheeks grow a little pink, and I hide my laugh. โ€œHey.โ€ She eyes him.

โ€œOkay, intros are over. Inside. Itโ€™s getting cold as fuck out here.โ€ He turns, slipping in front of me and we follow behind.

โ€œAri, did you know your brother is the bossiest person on the planet?โ€ she calls out.

โ€œYeah, you get used to it.โ€ I grin.

Mason groans, flipping me off over his head and I canโ€™t help but smile.

Heโ€™s feeling better.

Cameron runs around the corner, jump tackling me onto the couch, and Mason takes Noah into the kitchen, re-introducing him to the gang, in case

his small stopover during the summer is out of their minds.

โ€œSara and Ian didnโ€™t make it,โ€ Cam tells me of my aunt and uncle. โ€œNate said his mom hurt her back when they took the quads out a couple days ago, so he lied and said theyโ€™d be out of town for Thanksgiving so that she wouldnโ€™t feel bad and still travel while in pain.โ€

โ€œSounds like Nate. Why didnโ€™t he tell me?โ€

โ€œIn case you blabbed about coming this way, Iโ€™d bet.โ€

My head jerks her way, and we laugh, because yeah. I might have done that on accident.

Payton pushes to her feet, only moments after sitting, and puts one hand on her lower back, the other lowering onto the table. Mason beelines her way, passing a water and pulling over the chair with cushions stacked inside it.

โ€œIโ€™m fine,โ€ she tells him, but Mason being Mason, doesnโ€™t move. Payton lowers into the seat.

โ€œHe looks good.โ€ Cam nods. โ€œYeah. I think so too.โ€

โ€œThink it has anything to do with the pregnant mama heโ€™s hovering over?โ€

โ€œCameron. Stop.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m just saying,โ€ she whispers. โ€œHe hasnโ€™t left her side.โ€

โ€œSheโ€™s about to pop. Her brother and Kenra probably asked for help.โ€ โ€œTrue. I didnโ€™t think about that.โ€

Piling into the kitchen, I hug everyone hello as Cameron goes over the tasks for tomorrow.

Everyone is assigned a job, and I flip the others off when Iโ€™m stuck with peeling potatoes.

โ€œOne day, Iโ€™m going to knock all your socks off with a Riley family recipe.โ€

Several eyes widen, teasing glints flicking along the others, and I stutter.

โ€œI meantโ€ฆ I was only saying I can cook something heโ€”โ€ Grins pull along their faces, so I laugh. โ€œOh, fuck you guys.โ€

Noah squeezes my thigh under the table, but I donโ€™t look at him. Iโ€™ll blush like a mad man if I do, and he knows it.

โ€œWell, weโ€™ll see just how good the manโ€™s family recipes are cause heโ€™s on turkey.โ€

โ€œWhat?!โ€ Brady whips around, half a breadstick hanging from his mouth. โ€œI wanted the turkey.โ€

โ€œYou got the ham,โ€ Cam argues.

Brady nods and turns back to the open fridge.

We chat a little more, enjoying the fact that we have nowhere to be and no need to rush around.

A little while later, Mase takes the others home, since itโ€™s dark out now and they didnโ€™t want to walk the half mile in the cold with Payton.

Once Mase gets back, Brady looks around, realizing the third piece of their puzzle is missing. โ€œWhereโ€™s Chase?โ€

โ€œHe went to bed an hour ago,โ€ Mason tells them, pushing to his feet. โ€œSpeaking of bed. Iโ€™m beat.โ€

Everyone nods in agreement, and we make our way to our rooms, but not before Mason pins Noah with a glare. โ€œYouโ€™re in the guest room, fucker.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s what heโ€™s trying to do.โ€ Brady rocks in his chair, eyeing us.

Noah simply laughs. โ€œMy bags are already in the extra room. Thanks for letting me stay.โ€

โ€œUm, itโ€™s my house too, and so not up to them.โ€ With a smirk, Noah says, โ€œYeah, it is.โ€

I give him the evil eye and Mason pushes on my head, clamping a hand on Noahโ€™s shoulder, as he repeats his earlier comment. โ€œGood fucking answer.โ€

โ€œGo to bed already,โ€ I tease, relaxing into the space beside Noah.

Several of us settle into the living room for a movie and not an hour after weโ€™ve split for bed, does Masonโ€™s shouts wake up the entire house.

โ€œPaytonโ€™s in labor, and sheโ€™s scared!โ€ Just like that, to the hospital we go.

 

 

โ€œDoes it always take this long to have a baby?โ€ Cameron stands,

stretching her neck.

โ€œI donโ€™t know.โ€ I shrug, lifting my head off of Bradyโ€™s shoulder. โ€œWhenโ€™s the last time Parker came out with an update?โ€

โ€œAbout an hour ago?โ€

โ€œHere he comes now.โ€ Nate nods his chin toward the double doors as they begin to open, Paytonโ€™s brother on the other side.

He shakes his head. โ€œNothing yet. They gave her something to speed things along, and sheโ€™s crying a bit now.โ€ A pained expression blankets his face. โ€œThey wanted to check her so she kicked me out, but she wouldnโ€™t let go of Kenraโ€™s hand.โ€

I nod, rubbing my eyes.

โ€œThis baby is already stubborn and he ainโ€™t even born.โ€ Lolli grins. Parker scoffs a laugh. โ€œRight?โ€

Cam sits back down, knocking her knee into mine. โ€œYou heard from Noah?โ€

โ€œNot since I sent him to the house. Is Trey there yet?โ€

She nods, showing me a picture he sent her of them sitting by our fire pit on the back patio.

I chuckle, shaking my head.

After the first eight hours, I sent Noah to the house. He tried to refuse, but I insisted. Especially since Trey was driving in alone. He needed someone there to welcome him and who better than his friend?

โ€œWhereโ€™s Mason?โ€ I look around. โ€œHe was just hereโ€ฆโ€

โ€œHe snuck in the door when that doc walked out.โ€ Chase looks up from his phone, his attention going right back. Thatโ€™s about the most heโ€™s said today.

Parker sighs, frowning. โ€œCourse he did. Iโ€™m gonna use the restroom and go back in.โ€

Five minutes later, when Parkerโ€™s headed back through the double doors, Mason comes bounding out from the other side.

โ€œBabyโ€™s coming!โ€ he shouts, clapping his hands.

โ€œWhat?!โ€ Parkerโ€™s eyes widen, and he starts jogging down the hall as we all jump from our seats.

We crowd the doors, waiting for them to come back out with some news, and itโ€™s not long before my cousin Kenra steps out with a smile. โ€œItโ€™s a boy!โ€

โ€œAww!โ€ I fuss. โ€œShe was right.โ€ โ€œCan we go in?โ€ Cam darts forward. โ€œYeah, but only two at a time.โ€

Me and Cam donโ€™t bother looking to the others, but dash through the door and around the corner, jerking to a stop in front of her room.

Payton looks up.

โ€œHi.โ€ We quietly enter, coming to her bedside, Mason and Parker standing just behind her.

The little cocoon in her arms is so tiny, and as I reach Paytonโ€™s side, his little face comes into view, a little beanie already on his head.

A little baby boy, so precious.

Payton is pale and tired, a mix of emotions written on her face, love being the most obvious.

โ€œDoes he have a name?โ€ I whisper.

She nods, tears pooling in her eyes. โ€œHis name is Deaton.โ€

After his daddy, who heโ€™ll never get the chance to meet.

โ€œThatโ€™s a beautiful name for a beautiful boy.โ€ I smile, running the tips of my fingers over his soft, little hand. He stirs, the sweetest little sounds slipping from him that melt my heart. โ€œHappy Thanksgiving, Deaton.โ€

 

 

Exhausted, we pull ourselves out of Masonโ€™s Tahoe and head up

the deck to the front door.

โ€œGuess itโ€™s Door Dash for dinner?โ€ Cam huffs.

โ€œAre they even open on Turkey day?โ€ Brady yawns.

โ€œI donโ€™t know. Iโ€™m fine with cereal at this point. Iโ€™m freaking starvโ€”โ€

Stepping through the door, weโ€™re hit with the most comforting of smells, a fresh fire burning and my grandmaโ€™s stuffing.

I rush into the kitchen, my stomach swirling as I hit the corner and come to a jerky stop.

The island is covered in Thanksgiving tradition, and my smile broadens. Cameron comes around as fast I did, her chest bumping into my back,

and she gasps. โ€œHoly shit!โ€

The others file in around me, slipping forward and examining the dishes alongside me.

Thereโ€™s mashed potatoes and gravy, yams, and green bean casserole. A glistening ham, covered in pineapple rings and a bowl of stuffing.

Noah pushes through the patio door then, and in his hands, thereโ€™s a turkey.

He freezes when he sees us, but a smile curves his lips a moment later, and he continues to the counter, setting the large platter down. โ€œHey.โ€

โ€œDude, Noah. Are you fucking serious?โ€ Brady grins, sticking his finger in the side of the mashed potatoes, and getting swatted away by Cameron.

โ€œBro.โ€ Mason steps toward him, clamping his hands. โ€œThank you, man.

This looks fucking good.โ€

I curve around the island, the others still checking out the food, and step into Noah. โ€œYou made us Thanksgiving dinner?โ€

โ€œDid you really think Iโ€™d leave you at the hospital just to come back here and rest?โ€

I pause. โ€œWell, now that you mention it, that was a very unlike you thing to do.โ€

โ€œYou were excited for today, and I didnโ€™t want you to miss it.โ€ He turns me, hugging me to him from behind, and toward the food, the others already pulling plates and drinks out. โ€œSome of this Iโ€™ve never made before. I hope itโ€™s decent.โ€

โ€œGoogle?โ€

Noah chuckles, pushing me forward. โ€œEat.โ€ We donโ€™t argue.

We eat.

Noah had nothing to worry about, everything was amazing, and while I couldnโ€™t possibly tell my mom, Noahโ€™s momโ€™s yamsโ€™ recipe was to die for, the crusted marshmallows on top a dessert all their own.

Almost everyone goes back for seconds of something, and itโ€™s not long after that, weโ€™re stuffed and enjoying some mixed drinks by the fire.

I slip away for a moment alone, stepping down the patio and out into the sand.

Leaving my shoes behind, I smile at the sea, moving closer and closer until my feet are at the waterโ€™s edge. I dig my toes into the wet sand, tugging my sleeves over my hands as the wind picks up, whipping me in the face as if to welcome me back.

I walk a little farther down, until the dock comes into view, and standing right beside it, in the spot we once stoodโ€ฆ

โ€œChase.โ€

I didnโ€™t mean to speak his name aloud, but it slips from me anyway, and his attention snaps in my direction.

He doesnโ€™t move, so I shift a little closer. โ€œHey.โ€

He frowns at the ocean.

โ€œAre you okay?โ€ I wonder.

At first, heโ€™s quiet, but then his head falls back on his shoulders a bit. โ€œNo, actually,โ€ he says into the air, a heavy sense of frustration in his

tone. โ€œIโ€™m not.โ€

I wait, folding my arms into my chest.

โ€œI thought you understood.โ€ He takes a step toward me. My head pulls back. โ€œUnderstood what?โ€

โ€œMe.โ€ He jabs his finger into his chest, and I realize heโ€™s buzzed. Maybe even drunk. โ€œI thought you understood me. I thought you got it.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know what you mean.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s the problem.โ€ He bends, stressing every word, nearly right in front of me now. โ€œHow did this happen? How can you not see?โ€

โ€œSeeย what, Chase. Youโ€™re not making any sense. What am I supposed to seeโ€”โ€

โ€œThat I want you!โ€ He cuts me off with a shout.

Every part of me stiffens, but slowly, I shake my head. โ€œYes, Arianna.โ€ His brows jump. โ€œI want you.โ€

Oh my god.

My chest caves in, and I turn away, but he grips my arms, twisting me back. โ€œChaseโ€”โ€

โ€œI want you,โ€ he hisses, his entire being softening in the next breath. He whispers, โ€œI want youโ€ฆโ€

My teeth clench, my mind spinning. โ€œPlease donโ€™t say that.โ€ โ€œTell me you want me too. Tell me you didnโ€™t give up on me.โ€

โ€œChase.โ€ My voice is a broken murmur, attempting to tug free. โ€œLet go.โ€

But he only shakes his head, pushing closer. โ€œAri, look at me. Listen to me.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m going to need you to take your hand off her.โ€ Noahโ€™s voice breaks through the night.

Chase instantly flushes red, anger slipping over him as his eyes point past my shoulder.

Calm as ever, and with his hands pressed into his jean pockets, Noah slowly steps up, his eyes on Chase. โ€œYou should go.โ€

โ€œYou should fucking go,โ€ Chase spits back.

My pulse pounds out of control as I look between the two. โ€œYouโ€™re drunk,โ€ Noah tells him.

โ€œSo?!โ€ Chase throws his hands out. โ€œShe safe with me regardless. She knows that.โ€

โ€œYou should sober up, try again tomorrow.โ€ Noahโ€™s voice is void of emotion.

My brows crash and I whip around to face Noah, but Chase is still holding onto my arm.

Chase scoffs. โ€œIโ€™d never hurt her.โ€

Noah stares him in the eye. โ€œYou already did.โ€

My spine stiffens, and Chase blanches, releasing me as he stumbles back a step, shock drawing up his features.

โ€œYou told him.โ€ He gapes at me. โ€œYou told this fucking stranger?โ€ My chin lowers with guilt, but I force my eyes not to fall.

โ€œThat was for us! That wasย ours!โ€ He shakes his head in disgust, then jerks around and staggers off.

โ€œChase!โ€ My body aches. โ€œWait, Iโ€”โ€ I jerk forward, but freeze mid- step, whipping around to Noah. โ€œNoah, I justโ€ฆโ€

โ€œItโ€™s okay.โ€ His face is blank as he nods. โ€œGo after him.โ€ His tone lowers. โ€œI know you want to.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s not like that,โ€ I swear, my throat clogging.

He steps to me, cupping my face as he presses his lips to my cheek.

Pulling back, he looks me in the eye. โ€œIsnโ€™t it?โ€ I shake my head. โ€œNoahโ€”โ€

โ€œLast time Iโ€™m going to say itโ€ฆย go.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t want you to misunderstand. Iโ€”โ€ โ€œJuliet,โ€ he warns.

Clenching my teeth until they hurt, I bite back tears, then turn and chase after Chase.

It takes a few minutes, but I spot him about fifty yards in the opposite direction, head dropped in his hands, sitting on a boulder.

โ€œWhat the hell was that?!โ€

His jerks upright, glaring past me, and once he realizes Iโ€™m alone, his eyes come back to mine. Something flickers across his face, but he only stares at me.

โ€œChase,โ€ I snap, darting forward. โ€œYou wanted to talk, fine, here I am.

Talk.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m sick of this shit.โ€ He gets right to it. โ€œSick of what?โ€

โ€œOf him. You. All of it!โ€

โ€œWhaโ€”โ€ I throw my hands out confused. โ€œWhat do you want me to do, Chase? Hide away?โ€

โ€œNoโ€”โ€

โ€œLet you enjoy the life that I belong in just as much as you do so that you feel betterโ€”โ€

โ€œAri, thatโ€™s notโ€”โ€

โ€œBecause I did that already and you know what? It sucked! I missed out on so much, and Iโ€™m not going to do that anymore so you can stop trying to

make me feel guilty for choosing to be happy.โ€ โ€œI want you to choose me!โ€ he screams.

My words evaporate, my body turning to stone on the spot.

His eyes soften, and he comes closer. โ€œI want you to be happy, but I want you to be happy with me.โ€

My insides swirl, tighten and pull. โ€œDonโ€™t do this.โ€ โ€œI want you to want me again.โ€

โ€œChase.โ€ Everything aches.

โ€œI want you to look at me like you used to.โ€ โ€œStop.โ€

โ€œI want you to pick me,โ€ he whispers, reaching toward my face, but I tip my head, avoiding his touch. โ€œAriannaโ€ฆโ€

I shake my head, a nauseating feeling fighting its way through me, but heโ€™s right there.

And then his lips are on mine, pressing, stealing. Begging.

Pick meโ€ฆ

Stunned, I stand frozen, but my mind shakes me free, screaming no. Hell no.

That this is wrong.

My hands come up, and I shove him away.

โ€œYouโ€ฆ are an asshole.โ€ My voice shakes, tears instantly pouring down my cheeks. โ€œWhy would you do that?โ€

His features pull, a deep frown creasing his forehead.

โ€œI told you Iโ€™m with someone, that Iโ€™mย withย Noah, and now you do this?โ€ My words crack.

Chaseโ€™s spine straightens. โ€œWhat am I supposed to do when I feel you slipping away from me.โ€

โ€œOh my god.โ€ I swallow beyond the knot in my throat, but all it does is rise again. โ€œI canโ€™t believe you right now. How can you be so selfish?โ€

Anxious, he reaches for me. โ€œAri.โ€

โ€œDonโ€™t.โ€ I pull back. โ€œFor months, I sat around wishing youโ€™d show up at my door, knowing deep down you never would. Donโ€™t stand here and say you felt me slipping away when I was right in front of you for months, years even, if you really think about it. You just didnโ€™t see it.โ€

โ€œI saw you.โ€ He shakes his head, brows furrowed. โ€œAri, I see you.โ€

I clench my jaw, anger overtaking the sadness. โ€œYeah, well, itโ€™s too late.โ€ โ€œI donโ€™t believe that.โ€

โ€œYeah, you do.โ€ I swallow, taking backward steps. โ€œYou wouldnโ€™t have kissed me if you didnโ€™t.โ€

The torment of standing before him is too much, so I walk away. โ€œI see you, Arianna.โ€ His words are defeated, broken.

I pause in the sand but donโ€™t look back, staring straight ahead at nothing. โ€œI donโ€™t want to be seen anymore, Chase.โ€ Emotion fights its way up my throat, but I push it down. โ€œI want to be loved.โ€

Slowly, I start walking again, tension winding around my muscles with each step. Thankfully, Chase says nothing and doesnโ€™t try to follow.

I want to fall to the sand and cry, scream into the night, and beg for understanding Iโ€™ll never find and am unsure I even want. But I donโ€™t do any of those things.

I head back to the house, my lungs tightening when I find Noah sitting on the last step.

He looks up and, as slow as ever, pushes to his feet, the lanyard his keys are clipped to hanging from his right pocket.

Panic whirls through me, but my feet donโ€™t move.

I shake my head, tears pricking at the back of my eyes, and he tips his head in encouragement.

โ€œHe kissed me.โ€ Guilt burns through my veins, and my hand presses against my stomach.

His jaw flexes, but his tone is soft. โ€œAnd?โ€

โ€œI didnโ€™t kiss him back. I pushed him away.โ€

He nods again, dropping his eyes to the sand, and when they come back up, the uncertainty in them is almost debilitating.

He comes to me, the pads of his thumbs brushing under my eyes, wiping the tears I didnโ€™t realize were falling.

โ€œI pushed him away,โ€ I repeat desperately.

โ€œI know.โ€ He presses his mouth to my forehead, speaking against it. โ€œI know you did.โ€

โ€œTell me what youโ€™re thinking.โ€

โ€œIsnโ€™t it obvious?โ€

I pull back, forcing him to look at me. โ€œNo. Itโ€™s not. Tell me.โ€

โ€œCome on, Juliet,โ€ he murmurs, the ache in his tone crushing my soul. โ€œI canโ€™t compete here, not when everything you ever wanted is in reach now, just waiting for you to take it.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t want it.โ€ โ€œAre you sure?โ€

My lips clamp shut, but I nod, and all that comes out is his name.

โ€œItโ€™s okay,โ€ he promises.

โ€œNo, itโ€™s not.โ€ I take Noahโ€™s hands, pulling them to my chest. โ€œItโ€™s not. He doesnโ€™t get to do this to us.โ€ I shake my head, breathing him in. โ€œI shouldnโ€™t have done this. I shouldnโ€™t have gone after him. I should have come back inside with you. I should have left it alone.โ€

A shadow falls over us, and he strokes my cheek. โ€œSome conversations have to be had. Even if theyโ€™re tough.โ€

โ€œI know.โ€ I lower my forehead to his. โ€œBut I donโ€™t want any part of anything that could hurt this.โ€ My nose begins to tingle. โ€œNoah, I want this. I want us.โ€

โ€œBaby.โ€ His hands frame my face, his palms shaking. โ€œI want you. Only you.โ€

His lips throb against mine, his eyes closing, only to open, satin blue piercing mine as he whispers, โ€œSay you swear.โ€

My chuckle is more of a cry, and I smash my lips to his, my emotions whirling.

He kisses me back, the sweep of his tongue against mine serving as a promise.

An unspoken whisper from his heart to mine.

A whisper Iโ€™m ready to answer with one of my own. โ€œI swear.โ€

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