MEET MY DAD – I MEAN, YOUR BOSS
AUGUST 22ND 2004 AOIFE
ON SUNDAY MORNING Joey had a face like thunder when he stepped out his front door and made a beeline for where I was sitting on his garden wall.
“I told you that I’d meet you on your street,” he snapped, quickly snatching me up, and throwing me over his shoulder. “I don’t want you anywhere near this house, Molloy.”
His bad mood was something I expected, so I didn’t let it faze me.
Instead, I laughed at how ridiculous we looked, as he continued to stalk down the footpath, with me over his shoulder, and my ass in the air.
“I’m wearing a skirt,” I laughed, which earned me a string of curse- words, as he quickly set me on my feet, and pulled the hem of my skirt down. “It’s nice, huh?” Stepping closer, I grabbed his hand, and made him feel the fabric. “It’s totally fake leather, but I feel like a pure ride in it.”
“You look like one, too,” he muttered, rubbing his jaw, as his eyes drank me in. “Jesus, did you go to mass wearing that skirt?”
“I sure did.” Batting my eyes I grinned up at him. “But don’t worry, I plan on going to confession next week to atone for my sins.”
“Atone.” Smirking, he slung an arm over my shoulders, as we walked. “You don’t know the meaning of the word.”
“And you do?” Reaching around, I slipped my hand into his back pocket, my favorite place to touch him. “I didn’t see you lining up for holy communion.”
“Fair point.”
“So.” Thinking carefully about how I was going to phrase my next question, I said, “we’ve had fun this summer, haven’t we, Joe?”
“Yeah,” he replied slowly. “We have.”
“I mean, we have, though, right?” Exhaling heavily, I added, “We’ve spent a lot of time together, had a lot of fun, done a lot of stuff.”
“Is this the part where you tell me that you’ve had a great time, and you’ll always cherish the memories we’ve made together, but it’s time for me to get the fuck away from you now?’
“What?” I gaped at him. “No. Why would you even say that?”
“Not sure,” he replied in a curious tone, rubbing his jaw. “Those damn tv shows you make me watch must be making me soft.”
“Well, I’d say that I’m the one making you soft, but we both know that never happens when you’re around me.”
“Nice.”
“Thanks. So, listen, I have no plans on ending anything,” I hurried to say. “But I was hoping that I could run something by you really quick.”
“Sounds dangerous.”
“Only a little.” I laughed nervously and looked up at him. “How would you feel about coming over for dinner?”
“Huh?” Joey stared down at me like he hadn’t understood the question. “Dinner,” I repeated, swallowing deeply. “I want you to come over for
dinner.”
“With you?”
“Yeah,” I replied with an enthusiastic nod. “And the rest of my family.” “No,” he was quick to shut down, as his hand dropped from my
shoulder like my skin had burned him. “Not happening.”
I rolled my eyes. “Joey.”
“I’m not interested,” he snapped, running a hand through his hair. “If you wanted a guy that you could take home to meet the family, then you should have stuck with Ricey. I’m clearly not that guy, Molloy. I’m not the kind that mother’s want to see with their daughters shacking up with.”
“Oh, please,” I snapped. “My mam loves you.”
“Only because she doesn’t know what I do to her daughter when they go to bed at night.”
My jaw fell open. “Joe, come on.”
“No, no, no, don’t look at me like that,” he warned. “Don’t give me those big eyes, Molloy. It’s not happening. You know that I don’t want your father finding out about us. I could lose my job. How the fuck am I supposed to explain rolling up to the dinner table with his baby girl in tow?”
I shrugged. “We could just tell them?”
Now he was the one whose mouth fell open. “Tell me you’re joking.”
“What?” I defended. “Would it be so terrible if our parents knew about us?”
“Yes, it would,” he argued right back. “It would be very fucking terrible. I could lose my job.”
“He won’t fire you for being my boyfriend.”
“I’m not your boyfriend, Molloy,” he was quick to deny. “I’m just your
—”
“Yes, you are, ya big eejit,” I snapped, irritated now. “It’s been seven
months. You’re my boyfriend, I’m your girlfriend, and we love each other a lot.”
“We absolutely do not!”
“So much in fact that we love to take our clothes off and put our mouths on each other’s—“
“Jesus Christ.” He blew out a pained breath. “You are hell bent on getting me killed, aren’t ya?”
“It’s going to be fine,” I coaxed, sliding my arm through his, as I practically dragged him down the road. “They didn’t even sound that surprised when I mentioned it.”
“What?” He gaped at me. “What did you do?” “Nothing.”
“Molloy.” “Nothing, I swear.” “Molloy.”
“Fine.” I threw my hands up. “I already told my parents that I invited you over for dinner.”
“No.” Joey stopped walking again, and this time, I think he stopped breathing. “Tell me you didn’t.”
“And I also told them that you said you’d come,” I admitted, covering my eyes with my hand and then peeking through my fingers.
His eyes bulged. “And?”
“And they said that dinner will be ready at one o’ clock,” I twisted the knife by adding. “We’re having roast beef. Please don’t be mad.”
“Roast beef?” Running a hand through his hair, he hissed, “Aoife, I’m going to be roast fucking beef when your father gets his hands on me.”
“Wow,” I mused. “You called me Aoife. You never call me Aoife.”
“Well, I suppose I better start practicing,” he hissed. “You know, for when I meet your parents.”
I grinned. “As my boyfriend.”
“Not your boyfriend,” he muttered, and then released a pained groan. “Oh my Jesus, I just realized something.”
“What?”
“My boss’s daughter is my girlfriend.”
Laughing, I patted him on the shoulder. “That, she is.”
