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Chapter no 9

Romancing Mister Bridgerton (Bridgertons, #4)

Every week there seems to be one invitation that is coveted above all others, and this weekโ€™s prize must surely go to the Countess of Macclesfield, who is hosting a grand ball on Monday night. Lady Macclesfield is not a frequent hostess here in London, but she is

very popular, as is her husband, and it is expected that a great many bachelors plan to attend, including Mr. Colin Bridgerton (assuming he does not collapse from exhaustion after four days with the ten Bridgerton grandchildren), Viscount Burwick, and Mr. Michael

Anstruther-Wetherby.

This Author anticipates that a great many young and unmarried

ladies will choose to attend as well, following the publication of this column.

LADYย WHISTLEDOWNโ€™Sย SOCIETYย PAPERS, 16 APRILย 1824

His life as he knew it was over.

โ€œWhat?โ€ he asked, aware that he was blinking rapidly.

Her face turned a deeper shade of crimson than heโ€™d thought humanly possible, and she turned away. โ€œNever mind,โ€ she mumbled. โ€œForget I said anything.โ€

Colin thought that aย veryย good idea.

But then, just when heโ€™d thought that his world might resume its normal course (or at least that heโ€™d be able to pretend it had), she whirled back around, her eyes alight with a passionate fire that astonished him.

โ€œNo, Iโ€™m not going to forget it,โ€ she cried out. โ€œIโ€™ve spent my life forgetting things, not saying them, never telling anyone what I really want.โ€

Colin tried to say something, but it was clear to him that his throat had begun to close. Any minute now heโ€™d be dead. He was sure of it.

โ€œIt wonโ€™t mean a thing,โ€ she said. โ€œI promise you, it wonโ€™t mean anything, and Iโ€™d never expect anything from you because of it, but I could die tomorrow, andโ€”โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€

Her eyes looked huge, and meltingly dark, and pleading, andโ€ฆ He could feel his resolve melting away.

โ€œIโ€™m eight-and-twenty,โ€ she said, her voice soft and sad. โ€œIโ€™m an old maid, and Iโ€™ve never been kissed.โ€

โ€œGahโ€ฆgahโ€ฆgahโ€ฆโ€ He knew he knew how to speak; he was fairly certain heโ€™d been perfectly articulate just minutes earlier. But now he didnโ€™t seem able to form a word.

And Penelope kept talking, her cheeks delightfully pink, and her lips moving so quickly that he couldnโ€™t help but wonder what theyโ€™d feel like on his skin. On his neck, on his shoulder, on hisโ€ฆother places.

โ€œIโ€™m going to be an old maid at nine-and-twenty,โ€ she said, โ€œand Iโ€™ll be an old maid at thirty. I could die tomorrow, andโ€”โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re not going to die tomorrow!โ€ he somehow managed to get out. โ€œBut I could! I could, and it would kill me, becauseโ€”โ€

โ€œYouโ€™d already be dead,โ€ he said, thinking his voice sounded rather strange and disembodied.

โ€œI donโ€™t want to die without ever having been kissed,โ€ she finally finished.

Colin could think of a hundred reasons why kissing Penelope Featherington was a very bad idea, the number one being that he actuallyย wantedย to kiss her.

He opened his mouth, hoping that a sound would emerge and that it might actually be intelligible speech, but there was nothing, just the sound of breath on his lips.

And then Penelope did the one thing that could break his resolve in an instant. She looked up at him, deeply into his eyes, and uttered one, simple word.

โ€œPlease.โ€

He was lost. There was something heartbreaking in the way she was gazing at him, as if she might die if he didnโ€™t kiss her. Not from heartbreak, not from embarrassmentโ€”it was almost as if she needed him for nourishment, to feed her soul, to fill her heart.

And Colin couldnโ€™t remember anyone else ever needing him with such fervor.

It humbled him.

It made him want her with an intensity that nearly buckled his knees. He looked at her, and somehow he didnโ€™t see the woman heโ€™d seen so many

times before. She was different. She glowed. She was a siren, a goddess, and he wondered how on earth no one had ever noticed this before.

โ€œColin?โ€ she whispered.

He took a step forwardโ€”barely a half a foot, but it was close enough so that when he touched her chin and tipped her face up, her lips were mere

inches from his.

Their breath mingled, and the air grew hot and heavy. Penelope was

tremblingโ€”he could feel that under his fingersโ€”but he wasnโ€™t so sure that he wasnโ€™t trembling, too.

He assumed heโ€™d say something flip and droll, like the devil-may-care fellow he was reputed to be.ย Anything for you,ย perhaps, or maybe,ย Every woman deserves at least one kiss.ย But as he closed the bare distance between them, he realized that there were no words that could capture the intensity of the moment.

No words for the passion. No words for the need. No words for the sheer epiphany of the moment.

And so, on an otherwise unremarkable Friday afternoon, in the heart of Mayfair, in a quiet drawing room on Mount Street, Colin Bridgerton kissed Penelope Featherington.

And it was glorious.

His lips touched hers softly at first, not because he was trying to be gentle, although if heโ€™d had the presence of mind to think about such things, it probably would have occurred to him that this was her first kiss, and it ought to be reverent and beautiful and all the things a girl dreams about as sheโ€™s lying in bed at night.

But in all truth, none of that was on Colinโ€™s mind. In fact, he was thinking of quite little. His kiss was soft and gentle because he was still so surprised that he was kissing her. Heโ€™d known her for years, had never even thought about touching his lips to hers. And now he couldnโ€™t have let her go if the fires of hell were licking his toes. He could barely believe what he

was doingโ€”or that he wanted to do it so damned much.

It wasnโ€™t the sort of a kiss one initiates because one is overcome with passion or emotion or anger or desire. It was a slower thing, a learning experienceโ€”for Colin just as much as for Penelope.

And he was learning that everything he thought heโ€™d known about kissing was rubbish.

Everything else had been mere lips and tongue and softly murmured but meaningless words.

Thisย was a kiss.

There was something in the friction, the way he could hear and feel her breath at the same time. Something in the way she held perfectly still, and yet he could feel her heart pounding through her skin.

There was something in the fact that he knew it wasย her.

Colin moved his lips slightly to the left, until he was nipping the corner of her mouth, softly tickling the very spot where her lips joined. His tongue dipped and traced, learning the contours of her mouth, tasting the sweet- salty essence of her.

This was more than a kiss.

His hands, which had been lightly splayed against her back, grew rigid, more tense as they pressed into the fabric of her dress. He could feel the heat of her under his fingertips, seeping up through the muslin, swirling in the delicate muscles of her back.

He drew her to him, pulling her closer, closer, until their bodies were pressed together. He could feel her, the entire length of her, and it set him on fire. He was growing hard, and he wanted herโ€”dear God, how he wanted her.

His mouth grew more insistent, and his tongue darted forward, nudging her until her lips parted. He swallowed her soft moan of acquiescence, then pushed forward to taste her. She was sweet and a little tart from the lemonade, and she was clearly as intoxicating as fine brandy, because Colin was starting to doubt his ability to remain on his feet.

He moved his hands along the length of herโ€”slowly, so as not to frighten her. She was soft, curvy, and lush, just as heโ€™d always thought a woman should be. Her hips flared, and her bottom was perfect, and her breastsโ€ฆgood God, her breasts felt good pressing against his chest. His palms itched to cup them, but he forced his hands to remain where they were (rather enjoyably on her derriรจre, so it really wasnโ€™t that much of a

sacrifice.) Beside the fact that he really shouldnโ€™t be groping a gently bred ladyโ€™s breasts in the middle of her drawing room, he had a rather painful suspicion that if he touched her in that way, he would lose himself completely.

โ€œPenelope, Penelope,โ€ he murmured, wondering why her name tasted so good on his lips. He was ravenous for her, heady and drugged by passion, and he wanted desperately for her to feel the same way. She felt perfect in

his arms, but thus far, she had made no reaction. Oh, she had swayed in his arms and opened her mouth to welcome his sweet invasion, but other than that, she had done nothing.

And yet, from the pant of her breath and the beat of her heart, he knew that she was aroused.

He pulled back, just a few inches so that he could touch her chin and tilt her face up toward his. Her eyelids fluttered open, revealing eyes that were dazed with passion, perfectly matching her lips, which were lightly parted, completely soft, and thoroughly swollen from his kisses.

She was beautiful. Utterly, completely, soul-stirringly beautiful. He didnโ€™t know how he hadnโ€™t noticed it all these years.

Was the world populated with blind men, or merely stupid ones? โ€œYou can kiss me, too,โ€ he whispered, leaning his forehead lightly

against hers.

She did nothing but blink.

โ€œA kiss,โ€ he murmured, lowering his lips to hers again, although just for a fleeting moment, โ€œis for two people.โ€

Her hand stirred at his back. โ€œWhat do I do?โ€ she whispered. โ€œWhatever you want to do.โ€

Slowly, tentatively, she lifted one of her hands to his face. Her fingers trailed lightly over his cheek, skimming along the line of his jaw until they fell away.

โ€œThank you,โ€ she whispered.

Thank you?

He went still.

It wasย exactlyย the wrong thing to say. He didnโ€™t want to be thanked for his kiss.

It made him feel guilty. And shallow.

As if it had been something done out of pity. And the worst part was he knew that if all this had come to pass only a few months earlier, itย would

have been out of pity.

What the hell did that say about him?

โ€œDonโ€™t thank me,โ€ he said gruffly, shoving himself backward until they were no longer touching.

โ€œButโ€”โ€

โ€œI saidย donโ€™t,โ€ he repeated harshly, turning away as if he couldnโ€™t bear the sight of her, when the truth was that he couldnโ€™t quite bear himself.

And the damnedest thing wasโ€”he wasnโ€™t sure why. This desperate, gnawing feelingโ€”was it guilt? Because he shouldnโ€™t have kissed her? Because he shouldnโ€™t have liked it?

โ€œColin,โ€ she said, โ€œdonโ€™t be angry with yourself.โ€ โ€œIโ€™m not,โ€ he snapped.

โ€œI asked you to kiss me. I practically forced youโ€”โ€

Now, there was a surefire way to make a man feel manly. โ€œYou didnโ€™t force me,โ€ he bit off.

โ€œNo, butโ€”โ€

โ€œFor the love of God, Penelope,ย enough!โ€

She drew back, her eyes wide. โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ she whispered.

He looked down at her hands. They were shaking. He closed his eyes in agony. Why whyย whyย was he being such an ass?

โ€œPenelopeโ€ฆโ€ he began.

โ€œNo, itโ€™s all right,โ€ she said, her words rushed. โ€œYou donโ€™t have to say anything.โ€

โ€œNo, I should.โ€

โ€œI really wish you wouldnโ€™t.โ€

And now she looked so quietly dignified. Which made him feel even worse. She was standing there, her hands clasped demurely in front of her, her eyes downwardโ€”not quite on the floor, but not on his face.

She thought heโ€™d kissed her out of pity.

And he was a knave because a small part of him wanted her to think that. Because if she thought it, then maybe he could convince himself that it was true, that it was just pity, that it couldnโ€™t possibly be more.

โ€œI should go,โ€ he said, the words quiet, and yet still too loud in the silent room.

She didnโ€™t try to stop him.

He motioned to the door. โ€œI should go,โ€ he said again, even as his feet refused to move.

She nodded.

โ€œI didnโ€™tโ€”โ€ he started to say, and then, horrified by the words that had nearly come out of his mouth, he actually did head toward the door.

But Penelope called outโ€”ofย courseย she called outโ€”โ€œYou didnโ€™t what?โ€

And he didnโ€™t know what to say, because what heโ€™d started to say was,ย I didnโ€™t kiss you out of pity.ย If he wanted her to know that, if he wanted to

convince himself of that, then that could only mean that he craved her good opinion, which could only meanโ€”

โ€œI have to go,โ€ he blurted out, desperate now, as if leaving the room might be the only way to keep his thoughts from traveling down such a

dangerous road. He crossed the remaining distance to the door, waiting for her to say something, to call out his name.

But she didnโ€™t.

And he left.

And heโ€™d never hated himself more.

Colin was in an exceedingly bad mood before the footman showed up at his front door with a summons from his mother. Afterward, he was beyond repair.

Bloody hell. She was going to start in on him again about getting married. Her summonses wereย alwaysย about getting married. And he really wasnโ€™t in the mood for it right now.

But she was his mother. And he loved her. And that meant he couldnโ€™t very well ignore her. So with considerable grumbling and a fair bit of

cursing while he was at it, he yanked on his boots and coat, and headed out the door.

He was living in Bloomsbury, not the most fashionable section of town for a member of the aristocracy, although Bedford Square, where he had taken out a lease on a small but elegant terrace house, was certainly an

upscale and respectable address.

Colin rather liked living in Bloomsbury, where his neighbors were

doctors and lawyers and scholars and people who actuallyย didย things other than attend party after party. He wasnโ€™t ready to trade in his heritage for a

life in tradeโ€”it was rather good to be a Bridgerton, after allโ€”but there was something stimulating about watching professional men going about their daily business, the lawyers heading east to the Inns of the Court, the doctors northwest to Portland Place.

It would have been easy enough to drive his curricle across town; it had only been brought back to the mews an hour ago upon his return from the Featheringtonsโ€™. But Colin was feeling a bit in need of some fresh air, not to mention perverse enough to take the slowest means possible to Number Five.

If his mother intended to deliver another lecture on the virtues of marriage, followed by a lengthy dissertation on the attributes of each and every eligible miss in London, she could bloody well wait for him.

Colin closed his eyes and groaned. His mood must be worse than even he had thought if he was cursing in relation to his mother, whom he (and all the Bridgertons, really) held in the highest esteem and affection.

It was Penelopeโ€™s fault.

No, it was Eloiseโ€™s fault, he thought, grinding his teeth. Better to blame a sibling.

Noโ€”he slumped back into his desk chair, groaningโ€”it was his fault. If he was in a bad mood, if he was ready to yank someoneโ€™s head off with his bare hands, it was his fault and his fault alone.

He shouldnโ€™t have kissed Penelope. It didnโ€™t matter that heโ€™dย wantedย to kiss her, even though he hadnโ€™t evenย realizedย that he wanted to until right before sheโ€™d mentioned it. He still shouldnโ€™t have kissed her.

Although, when he really thought about it, he wasnโ€™t quite sureย whyย he shouldnโ€™t have kissed her.

He stood, then trudged to the window and let his forehead rest against

the pane. Bedford Square was quiet, with only a few men walking along the pavement. Laborers, they looked to be, probably working on the new museum being built just to the east. (It was why Colin had taken a house on the west side of the square; the construction could get very noisy.)

His gaze traveled north, to the statue of Charles James Fox. Now, there was a man with a purpose. Led the Whigs for years. He hadnโ€™t always been very well liked, if some of the older members of theย tonย were to be believed, but Colin was coming to think that perhaps being well liked was over-rated. Heaven knew that no one was better liked than he was, and look at him now, frustrated and malcontent, grumpy and ready to lash out at

anyone who crossed his path.

He sighed, planting one hand on the window frame and pushing himself back to an upright position. Heโ€™d better get going, especially if he was planning to walk all the way to Mayfair. Although, in truth, it really wasnโ€™t that far. Probably not more than thirty minutes if he kept his pace brisk (and he always did), less if the pavements werenโ€™t littered with slow people. It

was longer than most members of theย tonย cared to be outside in London

unless they were shopping or fashionably strolling in the park, but Colin felt the need to clear his head. And if the air in London wasnโ€™t particularly fresh, well, it would still have to do.

His luck that day being what it was, however, by the time he reached the intersection of Oxford and Regent Streets, the first splats of raindrops began to dance against his face. By the time he was turning off Hanover Square onto St. George Street, it was pouring in earnest. And he was just close enough to Bruton Street that it would have been really ridiculous to have tried to hail a hackney to take him the rest of the way.

So he walked on.

After the first minute or so of annoyance, however, the rain began to feel oddly good. It was warm enough out that it didnโ€™t chill him to the bone, and the fat, wet sting of it almost felt like a penance.

And he felt like maybe that was what he deserved.

The door to his motherโ€™s house opened before Colinโ€™s foot had even found the top step; Wickham must have been waiting for him.

โ€œMight I suggest a towel?โ€ the butler intoned, handing him a large white cloth.

Colin took it, wondering how on earth Wickham had had time to get a towel. He couldnโ€™t have known that Colin would be fool enough to walk in the rain.

Not for the first time it occurred to Colin that butlers must be possessed of strange, mystical powers. Perhaps it was a job requirement.

Colin used the towel to dry his hair, causing great consternation to Wickham, who was terribly proper and surely expected Colin to retire to a private room for at least a half an hour to mend his appearance.

โ€œWhereโ€™s my mother?โ€ Colin asked.

Wickhamโ€™s lips tightened, and he looked pointedly down at Colinโ€™s feet, which were now creating small puddles. โ€œShe is in her office,โ€ he replied, โ€œbut she is speaking with your sister.โ€

โ€œWhich sister?โ€ Colin asked, keeping a sunny smile on his face, just to annoy Wickham, who had surely been trying to annoy him by omitting his sisterโ€™s name.

As if you could simply say โ€œyour sisterโ€ to a Bridgerton and expect him to know who you were talking about.

โ€œFrancesca.โ€

โ€œAh, yes. Sheโ€™s returning to Scotland soon, isnโ€™t she?โ€ โ€œTomorrow.โ€

Colin handed the towel back to Wickham, who regarded it as he might a large insect. โ€œI wonโ€™t bother her, then. Just let her know Iโ€™m here when sheโ€™s done with Francesca.โ€

Wickham nodded. โ€œWould you care to change your clothes, Mr.

Bridgerton? I believe we have some of your brother Gregoryโ€™s garments upstairs in his bedchamber.โ€

Colin found himself smiling. Gregory was finishing up his final term at Cambridge. He was eleven years younger than Colin, and it was difficult to believe they could actually share clothing, but he supposed it was time to accept that his little brother had finally grown up.

โ€œThatโ€™s an excellent idea,โ€ Colin said. He gave his sodden sleeve a rueful glance. โ€œIโ€™ll leave these here to be cleaned and fetch them later.โ€

Wickham nodded again, murmured, โ€œAs you wish,โ€ and disappeared down the hall to parts unknown.

Colin took the steps two at a time up to the family quarters. As he sloshed down the hall, he heard the sound of a door opening. Turning around, he saw that it was Eloise.

Notย the person he wanted to see. She immediately brought back all the memories of his afternoon with Penelope. Their conversation. The kiss.

Especially the kiss.

And even worse, the guilt heโ€™d felt afterward. The guilt he still felt.

โ€œColin,โ€ Eloise said brightly, โ€œI didnโ€™t realize youโ€”what did you do,

walk?โ€

He shrugged. โ€œI like the rain.โ€

She eyed him curiously, her head cocking to the side as it always did when she was puzzling through something. โ€œYouโ€™re in a rather odd mood today.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m soaking wet, Eloise.โ€

โ€œNo need to snap at me about it,โ€ she said with a sniff. โ€œI didnโ€™t force you to walk across town in the rain.โ€

โ€œIt wasnโ€™t raining when I left,โ€ he felt rather compelled to say. There

was something about a sibling that brought out the eight-year-old in a body. โ€œIโ€™m sure the sky was gray,โ€ she returned.

Clearly, she had a bit of the eight-year-old in her as well.

โ€œMay we continue this discussion when Iโ€™m dry?โ€ he asked, his voice deliberately impatient.

โ€œOf course,โ€ she said expansively, all accommodation. โ€œIโ€™ll wait for you right here.โ€

Colin took his time while he changed into Gregoryโ€™s clothes, taking more care with his cravat than he had in years. Finally, when he was convinced that Eloise must be grinding her teeth, he reentered the hall.

โ€œI heard you went to see Penelope today,โ€ she said without preamble. Wrong thing to say.

โ€œWhere did you hear that?โ€ he asked carefully. He knew that his sister and Penelope were close, but surely Penelope wouldnโ€™t have told Eloise aboutย that.

โ€œFelicity told Hyacinth.โ€ โ€œAnd Hyacinth told you.โ€

โ€œOf course.โ€

โ€œSomething,โ€ Colin muttered, โ€œhas got to be done about all the gossip in this town.โ€

โ€œI hardly think this counts as gossip, Colin,โ€ Eloise said. โ€œItโ€™s not as if youโ€™reย interestedย in Penelope.โ€

If she had been talking about any other woman, Colin would have expected her to give him a sidelong glance, followed by a coy,ย Are you?

But this was Penelope, and even though Eloise was her very best friend, and thus her finest champion, even she couldnโ€™t imagine that a man of Colinโ€™s reputation and popularity would be interested in a woman of Penelopeโ€™s reputation and (lack of) popularity.

Colinโ€™s mood shifted from bad to foul.

โ€œAnyway,โ€ Eloise continued, completely oblivious to the thunderstorm that was brewing in her normally sunny and jovial brother, โ€œFelicity told Hyacinth that Briarly told her that youโ€™d visited. I was just wondering what it was about.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s none of your business,โ€ Colin said briskly, hoping sheโ€™d leave it at that, but not really believing she would. He took a step toward the stairwell, though, always optimistic.

โ€œItโ€™s about my birthday, isnโ€™t it?โ€ Eloise guessed, dashing in front of him with such suddenness that his toe crashed into her slipper. She winced, but Colin didnโ€™t feel particularly sympathetic.

โ€œNo, itโ€™s not about your birthday,โ€ he snapped. โ€œYour birthday isnโ€™t even untilโ€”โ€

He stopped. Ah, hell.

โ€œUntil next week,โ€ he grumbled.

She smiled slyly. Then, as if her brain had just realized it had taken a wrong turn, her lips parted with dismay as she mentally backed up and headed in another direction. โ€œSo,โ€ she continued, moving slightly so that she better blocked his path, โ€œif you didnโ€™t go over there to discuss my birthdayโ€”and thereโ€™s nothing you could say now that would convince me you didโ€”whyย didย you go see Penelope?โ€

โ€œIs nothing private in this world?โ€ โ€œNot inย thisย family.โ€

Colin decided that his best bet was to adopt his usual sunny persona, even though he didnโ€™t feel the least bit charitable toward her at the moment, and so he slapped on the smoothest and easiest of his smiles, quirked his head to the side, and asked, โ€œDo I hear Mother calling my name?โ€

โ€œI didnโ€™t hear a thing,โ€ Eloise said pertly, โ€œand what is wrong with you?

You look very odd.โ€ โ€œIโ€™m fine.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re not fine. You look as if youโ€™ve been to the dentist.โ€

His voice descended into a mutter. โ€œItโ€™s always nice to receive compliments from family.โ€

โ€œIf you canโ€™t trust your family to be honest with you,โ€ she volleyed, โ€œwhoย canย you trust?โ€

He leaned fluidly back against the wall, crossing his arms. โ€œI prefer flattery to honesty.โ€

โ€œNo, you donโ€™t.โ€

Dear God, he wanted to smack her. He hadnโ€™t done that since he was twelve. And heโ€™d been horsewhipped for it. The only time he could recall his father laying a hand on him.

โ€œWhat I want,โ€ Colin returned, arching one brow, โ€œis an immediate cessation of this conversation.โ€

โ€œWhat you want,โ€ Eloise needled, โ€œis for me to stop asking you why you went to see Penelope Featherington, but I think we both knowย thatย isnโ€™t likely to occur.โ€

And that was when he knew it. Knew it deep in his bones, from his head to his toes, his heart to his mind that his sister was Lady Whistledown. All of the pieces fit. There was no one more stubborn and bullheaded, no one who couldโ€”or wouldโ€”take the time to get to the bottom of every last

piece of gossip and innuendo.

When Eloise wanted something, she didnโ€™t stop until she had it firmly in her grasp. It wasnโ€™t about money, or greed, or material goods. With her it

was about knowledge. She liked knowing things, and sheโ€™d needle and needle and needle until youโ€™d told her exactly what she wanted to hear.

It was a miracle no one had found her out sooner.

Out of nowhere he said, โ€œI need to talk to you.โ€ He grabbed her arm and hauled her into the nearest room, which happened to be her own.

โ€œColin!โ€ she shrieked, trying unsuccessfully to shake him off. โ€œWhat are you doing?โ€

He slammed the door shut, let go of her, and crossed his arms, his stance wide, his expression menacing.

โ€œColin?โ€ she repeated, her voice dubious. โ€œI know what youโ€™ve been up to.โ€

โ€œWhat Iโ€™ve beenโ€”โ€

And then, damn her, she started laughing.

โ€œEloise!โ€ he boomed. โ€œIโ€™m talking to you!โ€

โ€œClearly,โ€ she just barely managed to get out. He held his ground, glaring at her.

She was looking away, nearly doubled over with laughter. Finally, she said, โ€œWhat are youโ€”โ€

But then she looked at him again and even though sheโ€™d tried to keep her mouth shut, she exploded again.

If sheโ€™d been drinking something, Colin thought without a trace of humor, it would have come out her nose. โ€œWhat the hell is the matter with you?โ€ he snapped.

That finally got her attention. He didnโ€™t know whether it was his tone of voice or maybe his use of profanity, but she sobered in an instant.

โ€œMy word,โ€ she said softly, โ€œyouโ€™re serious.โ€ โ€œDo I look like Iโ€™m joking?โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ Eloise said. โ€œAlthough you did at first. Iโ€™m sorry, Colin, but itโ€™s just not like you to be glowering and yelling and all that. You looked rather like Anthony.โ€

โ€œYouโ€”โ€

โ€œActually,โ€ she said, giving him a look that was not nearly as wary as it should have been, โ€œyou looked more like yourself, trying to imitate Anthony.โ€

He was going to kill her. Right here in her room, in his motherโ€™s house, he was going to commit sororicide.

โ€œColin?โ€ she asked hesitantly, as if sheโ€™d just finally noticed that he had long since passed angry on his way to furious.

โ€œSit. Down.โ€ He jerked his head toward a chair. โ€œNow.โ€

โ€œAre you all right?โ€

โ€œSIT DOWN!โ€ย he roared. And she did. With alacrity.

โ€œI canโ€™t remember the last time you raised your voice,โ€ she whispered. โ€œI canโ€™t remember the last time I had cause to.โ€

โ€œWhatโ€™s wrong?โ€

He decided he might as well just come out and say it. โ€œColin?โ€

โ€œI know youโ€™re Lady Whistledown.โ€

โ€œWhaaaaat?โ€

โ€œThereโ€™s no use denying it. Iโ€™ve seenโ€”โ€

Eloise jumped to her feet. โ€œExcept that itโ€™s not true!โ€

Suddenly he no longer felt quite so angry. Instead he felt tired, old. โ€œEloise, Iโ€™ve seen the proof.โ€

โ€œWhat proof?โ€ she asked, her voice rising with disbelief. โ€œHow can there be proof of something that isnโ€™t true?โ€

He grabbed one of her hands. โ€œLook at your fingers.โ€ She did so. โ€œWhat about them?โ€

โ€œInkstains.โ€

Her mouth fell open. โ€œFromย thatย youโ€™ve deduced that Iโ€™m Lady Whistledown?โ€

โ€œWhy are they there, then?โ€ โ€œYouโ€™ve never used a quill?โ€

โ€œEloiseโ€ฆโ€ There was a great deal of warning in his voice.

โ€œI donโ€™t have to tell you why I have inkstains on my fingers.โ€ He said her name again.

โ€œI donโ€™t,โ€ she protested. โ€œI owe you noโ€”oh, very well, fine.โ€ She crossed her arms mutinously. โ€œI write letters.โ€

He shot her an extremely disbelieving look.

โ€œI do!โ€ she protested. โ€œEvery day. Sometimes two in a day when

Francesca is away. Iโ€™m quite a loyal correspondent. You should know. Iโ€™ve written enough letters withย yourย name on the envelope, although I doubt half of them ever reached you.โ€

โ€œLetters?โ€ he asked, his voice full of doubtโ€ฆand derision. โ€œFor Godโ€™s sake, Eloise, do you really think that will wash? Who the devil are you writing so many letters to?โ€

She blushed. Really, truly, deeply blushed. โ€œItโ€™s none of your business.โ€

He would have been intrigued by her reaction if he still werenโ€™t so sure that she was lying about being Lady Whistledown. โ€œFor Godโ€™s sake,

Eloise,โ€ he bit off, โ€œwho is going to believe that youโ€™re writing letters every day? I certainly donโ€™t.โ€

She glared at him, her dark gray eyes flashing with fury. โ€œI donโ€™t care what you think,โ€ she said in a very low voice. โ€œNo, thatโ€™s not true. I am

furiousย that you donโ€™t believe me.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re not giving me much to believe in,โ€ he said wearily.

She stood, walked over to him, and poked him in the chest. Hard. โ€œYou are my brother,โ€ she spat out. โ€œYou should believe me unquestioningly.

Love me unconditionally. Thatโ€™s what it means to be family.โ€

โ€œEloise,โ€ he said, her name coming out really as nothing more than a sigh.

โ€œDonโ€™t try to make excuses now.โ€ โ€œI wasnโ€™t.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s even worse!โ€ She stalked to the door. โ€œYou should be on your hands and knees, begging me for forgiveness.โ€

He hadnโ€™t thought he had it in him to smile, but somehow that did it for him. โ€œNow, that doesnโ€™t really seem in keeping with my character, does it?โ€

She opened her mouth to say something, but the sound that came out was not precisely English. All she managed was something along the lines of, โ€œOoooooooh,โ€ in an extremely irate voice, and then she stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

Colin slouched into a chair, wondering when sheโ€™d realize that sheโ€™d left him in her own bedchamber.

The irony was, he reflected, possibly the only bright spot in an otherwise miserable day.

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