As Colin liked to walk, and in fact frequently did so to clear his mind, it was no surprise that he spent much of the next day traversing Bloomsburyโฆand Fitzroviaโฆand Maryleboneโฆand in fact several other London neighborhoods, until he looked up and realized that he was
standing in the heart of Mayfair, in Grosvenor Square, to be precise, outside of Hastings House, town home of the Dukes of Hastings, the latest of whom happened to be married to his sister Daphne.
It had been a while since theyโd had a conversation, anything above the usual family chitchat, that was. Of all his siblings, Daphne was the closest in age to him, and theyโd always shared a rather special bond, even though they didnโt see each other as much as they used to, what with Colinโs frequent travels and Daphneโs busy family life.
Hastings House was one of those enormous mansions that one could find scattered throughout Mayfair and St. Jamesโs. Large and square and constructed of elegant Portland stone, it was thoroughly imposing in its ducal splendor.
Which made it all the more amusing, Colin thought with a wry grin, that his sister was the current duchess. He couldnโt imagine anyone less haughty or imposing. In fact, Daphne had had difficulty finding a husband when sheโd been out on the marriage mart, precisely because sheย wasย so friendly and easy to be with. Gentlemen had tended to think of her as their friend and not as a prospective bride.
But all that had changed when sheโd met Simon Bassett, Duke of Hastings, and now she was a respectable society matron with four children, aged ten, nine, eight, and seven. It still sometimes seemed odd to Colin that his sister was a mother, of all things, while he still lived the free and unfettered life of a bachelor. With only one year between them, he and
Daphne had always passed through the various stages of life together. Even when sheโd married, things hadnโt seemed so very different; she and Simon attended the same parties he did and had many of the same interests and pursuits.
But then sheโd started reproducing, and while Colin was always delighted to welcome a new niece or nephew into his life, each arrival had brought home the fact that Daphne had moved on in a way he had not.
But, he thought, smiling as Penelopeโs face drifted through his mind, he supposed all that would soon change.
Children. It was a rather nice thought, actually.
He hadnโt consciously meant to visit Daphne, but now that he was here, he figured he might as well stop by and say hello, so he marched up the
steps and gave the big brass knocker a sturdy clanking. Jeffries, the butler, opened the door almost immediately.
โMr. Bridgerton,โ he said. โYour sister was not expecting you.โ โNo, I decided to surprise her. Is she at home?โ
โI shall see,โ the butler said with a nod, even though they both knew that Daphne would never refuse to see a member of her family.
Colin waited in the drawing room while Jeffries informed Daphne of his presence, wandering idly about, feeling too restless to sit or even stand in
one place. After a few minutes, Daphne appeared in the doorway, looking slightly disheveled but happy as always.
And why shouldnโt she be? Colin wondered. All sheโd ever wanted in life was to be a wife and mother, and it seemed that reality had more than
surpassed her dreams.
โHello there, sister,โ he said with a sloppy smile as he crossed the room to give her a quick hug. โYouโve gotโฆโ He motioned to his shoulder.
She looked down at her own shoulder, then smiled sheepishly as she saw the large dark gray smudge on the pale pink fabric of her dress.
โCharcoal,โ she explained ruefully. โIโve been trying to teach Caroline to draw.โ
โYou?โ Colin asked doubtfully.
โI know, I know,โ she said. โShe really couldnโt have picked a worse tutor, but she only decided yesterday that she loves art, so Iโm all sheโs got on such short notice.โ
โYou should pack her off to see Benedict,โ Colin suggested. โIโm sure heโd be happy to give her a lesson or two.โ
โThe thought had already crossed my mind, but Iโm sure sheโll have moved on to some other pursuit by the time I can make the arrangements.โ She motioned to a sofa. โSit. You look rather like a caged cat over there, pacing as you are.โ
He sat, even though he felt uncommonly fidgety.
โAnd before you ask,โ Daphne said, โI already told Jeffries to see to food. Will sandwiches be enough?โ
โCould you hear my stomach grumbling from across the room?โ โFrom across town, Iโm afraid.โ She laughed. โDid you know that
whenever it thunders, David says that itโs your stomach?โ
โOh, good God,โ Colin muttered, but he was chuckling all the while.
His nephew was a rather clever little fellow.
Daphne smiled broadly as she settled down against the sofa cushions, folding her hands elegantly in her lap. โWhat brings you by, Colin? Not that
you need a reason, of course. Itโs always lovely to see you.โ He shrugged. โJust passing by.โ
โDid you visit Anthony and Kate?โ she asked. Bridgerton House, where their eldest brother lived with his family, was just across the square from
Hastings House. โBenedict and Sophie are already there with the children, helping to prepare for your engagement ball tonight.โ
He shook his head. โNo, youโre my chosen victim, Iโm afraid.โ
She smiled again, but this time it was a softer expression, tempered by a fair dose of curiosity. โIs something wrong?โ
โNo, of course not,โ he said quickly. โWhy would you ask that?โ
โI donโt know.โ She cocked her head to the side. โYou seem odd, thatโs all.โ
โJust tired.โ
She nodded knowingly. โWedding plans, Iโm sure.โ
โYes,โ he said, jumping on the excuse, although for the life of him, he wasnโt even sure what it was he was trying to hide from her.
โWell, remember that whatever youโre going through,โ she said with a peevish twist to her lips, โitโs a thousand times worse for Penelope. Itโs
always worse for women. Trust me.โ
โFor weddings or for everything?โ he asked mildly.
โEverything,โ she said promptly. โI know you men think youโre actually in charge, butโโ
โI wouldnโt dream of thinking weโre actually in charge,โ Colin said, and not entirely sarcastically.
Her face pinched into a peevish expression. โWomen have far more to do than men.ย Especiallyย with weddings. With all the fittings Iโm sure
Penelope has had for her wedding gown, she probably feels like a pincushion.โ
โI suggested eloping,โ Colin said conversationally, โand I think she rather hoped I was serious.โ
Daphne chuckled. โIโm so glad youโre marrying her, Colin.โ
He nodded, not planning to say anything, and then somehow, he was saying her name. โDaffโโ
โYes?โ
He opened his mouth, and thenโโNever mind.โ
โOh, no, you donโt,โ she said. โNow you really have my curiosity piqued.โ
He drummed his fingers against the sofa. โDo you suppose the food might arrive soon?โ
โAre you even hungry or are you merely trying to change the subject?โ โIโm always hungry.โ
She was silent for several seconds. โColin,โ she finally asked, her voice soft and carefully gentle, โwhat were you going to say?โ
He jumped to his feet, too restless to remain still, and began to pace. He stopped, turned to her, looked at her concerned face. โItโs nothing,โ he started to say, except it wasnโt nothing, andโ
โHow does one know?โ he blurted out, not even aware that he hadnโt completed his question until she replied, โHow does one know what?โ
He stopped in front of the window. It looked like it might rain. Heโd
have to borrow a carriage from Daphne unless he wanted to get soaked on
the long walk home. Yet, he didnโt know why he was even thinking about precipitation, because what he really wanted to know wasโ
โHow does one knowย what,ย Colin?โ Daphne repeated.
He turned around and just let the words break free. โHow do you know if itโs love?โ
For a moment she just stared at him, her large brown eyes wide with surprise, her lips parted and utterly still.
โForget I asked,โ he muttered.
โNo!โ she exclaimed, jumping to her feet. โIโmย gladย you asked. Very glad. Iโm justโฆsurprised, I must say.โ
He closed his eyes, thoroughly disgusted with himself. โI canโt believe I just asked you that.โ
โNo, Colin, donโt be silly. Itโs really ratherโฆsweet that you asked. And I canโt even begin to tell you how flattered I am that you would come to me whenโโ
โDaphneโฆโ he said warningly. She had a way of wandering off the topic, and he really wasnโt in the right frame of mind to follow her errant thoughts.
Impulsively, she reached out and hugged him; then, her hands still on his shoulders, she said, โI donโt know.โ
โI beg your pardon?โ
She gave her head a little shake. โI donโt know how you know itโs love.
I think itโs different for everyone.โ โHow did you know?โ
She chewed on her lower lip for several seconds before replying, โI donโt know.โ
โWhat?โ
She shrugged helplessly. โI donโt remember. Itโs been so long. I justโฆ
knew.โ
โSo what youโre saying,โ he said, leaning against the windowsill and crossing his arms, โis that if one doesnโt know oneโs in love, then one probably isnโt.โ
โYes,โ she said firmly. โNo! No, thatโs not what I mean at all.โ โThen what do you mean?โ
โI donโt know,โ she said weakly.
He stared at her. โAnd how long have you been married?โ he muttered. โColin, donโt tease. Iโm trying to be helpful.โ
โAnd I appreciate the attempt, but truly, Daphne, youโโ
โI know, I know,โ she interrupted. โIโm useless. But listen to me. Do you like Penelope?โ Then she gasped in horror. โWe are talking about Penelope, arenโt we?โ
โOf course we are,โ he snapped.
She let out a relieved sigh. โGood, because if we werenโt, then I can assure you I would have had no advice whatsoever.โ
โIโll go,โ he said abruptly.
โNo, donโt,โ she pleaded, placing her hand on his arm. โStay, Colin, please.โ
He looked at her, sighing, feeling defeated. โI feel like an ass.โ
โColin,โ she said, guiding him to the sofa and pushing him down until he sat, โlisten to me. Love grows and changes every day. And it isnโt like
some thunderbolt from the sky, instantly transforming you into a different man. I know Benedict says it was that way for him, and thatโs just lovely, but you know, Benedict isย notย normal.โ
Colin very much wanted to take that bait, but he just couldnโt summon the energy.
โIt wasnโt like that for me,โ Daphne said, โand I donโt think it was like that for Simon, although truthfully, I donโt think Iโve ever asked.โ
โYou should.โ
She paused while her mouth was forming a word, leaving her looking like a surprised bird. โWhy?โ
He shrugged. โSo you can tell me.โ
โWhat, do you think itโs different for men?โ โEverything else is.โ
She grimaced. โIโm beginning to develop a fair dose of pity for Penelope.โ
โOh, absolutely you should,โ he agreed. โIโll make a dreadful husband, to be sure.โ
โYou will not,โ she said, batting his arm. โWhy on earth would you say that? You would never be unfaithful to her.โ
โNo,โ he agreed. He was quiet for a moment, and when he finally spoke again, his voice was soft. โBut I might not love her the way she deserves.โ
โBut youย might.โ She threw up her hands in a gesture of exasperation. โFor heavenโs sake, Colin, just the fact that youโre sitting here asking yourย sisterย about love probably means youโre more than halfway there.โ
โDo you think?โ
โIf I didnโtย thinkย so,โ she said, โI wouldnโt haveย saidย so.โ She sighed. โStop thinking so hard, Colin. Youโll find marriage a lot easier if you simply allow it to be.โ
He eyed her suspiciously. โWhen did you grow so philosophical?โ โWhen you came by to see me and forced the issue,โ she said promptly.
โYouโre marrying the right person. Stop worrying so much.โ
โIโm not worrying,โ he said automatically, but of course heย wasย worrying, so he didnโt even bother to defend himself when Daphne shot him an extremely sarcastic look. But it wasnโt as if he were worrying whether Penelope was the right woman. He was certain of that.
And he wasnโt worried about whether his marriage would be a good one. He was certain of that, as well.
No, he was worrying about stupid things. About whether or not he loved her, not because it would be the end of the world if he did (or the end of the world if he didnโt), but because he found it extremely unsettling not to
know exactly what it was he was feeling. โColin?โ
He looked over at his sister, who was regarding him with a rather bemused expression. He stood, intending to leave before he embarrassed himself beyond repair, then leaned down and kissed her cheek. โThank you,โ he said.
She narrowed her eyes. โI canโt tell if youโre serious or are teasing me for being an utter lack of help.โ
โYouย wereย an utter lack of help,โ he said, โbut itโs an honest thank-you, nonetheless.โ
โPoints for effort?โ โSomething like that.โ
โAre you going over to Bridgerton House now?โ she asked. โWhy, so I may embarrass myself with Anthony next?โ โOr Benedict,โ she said. โHeโs there, too.โ
The thing about large families was, there was never a lack of opportunity to make a fool of oneself with a sibling. โNo,โ he said with a small, wry smile, โI think Iโll walk home.โ
โWalk?โ she echoed, gaping.
He squinted toward the window. โDo you think it might rain?โ โTake my carriage, Colin,โ she insisted, โand please wait for the
sandwiches. There is sure to be a mountain of them, and if you leave before they arrive, I know Iโll eat half, and then Iโll hate myself for the rest of the day.โ
He nodded and sat back down, and was glad he did. Heโd always been partial to smoked salmon. In fact, he took a plate with him in the carriage, staring out the window the whole way home at the pouring rain.
When the Bridgertons threw a party, they did it right.
And when the Bridgertons threw an engagement ballโฆwell, had Lady Whistledown still been writing, it would have taken at least three columns to chronicle the event.
Even this engagement ball, thrown together at the last minute (due to
the fact that neither Lady Bridgerton nor Mrs. Featherington were willing to allow their children the possibility of changing their minds during a long engagement), easily qualified asย theย party of the season.
Although part of that, Penelope thought wryly, had little to do with the party itself and everything to do with the continued speculation over why on earth Colin Bridgerton would choose a nobody like Penelope Featherington to be his wife. It hadnโt even been this bad when Anthony
Bridgerton had married Kate Sheffield, who, like Penelope, had never been considered a diamond of the first water. But at least Kate hadnโt beenย old.
Penelope couldnโt even begin to count the number of times sheโd heard the wordย spinsterย whispered behind her back during the past few days.
But while the gossip was a bit tedious, it didnโt really bother her,
because she was still floating along on the cloud of her own bliss. A woman couldnโt spend her entire adult life in love with one man and then not be almost stupid with happiness after he asked her to marry him.
Even if she couldnโt quite figure out how it had all happened. Itย hadย happened. That was all that mattered.
And Colin was everything anyone could dream of in a fiancรฉ. He stuck to her side like glue the entire evening, and Penelope didnโt even think he was doing it to protect her from gossip. In all truth, he seemed rather
oblivious to the talk.
It was almost as ifโฆPenelope smiled dreamily. It was almost as if Colin were remaining by her side because he wanted to be there.
โDid you see Cressida Twombley?โ Eloise whispered in her ear while Colin was off dancing with his mother. โSheโs green with envy.โ
โThatโs just her dress,โ Penelope said with an impressively straight face.
Eloise laughed. โOh, I wish Lady Whistledown were writing. She wouldย skewerย her.โ
โI think Lady Whistledown is supposed toย beย her,โ Penelope said carefully.
โOh, pish and tosh. I donโt believe for one moment that Cressida is Lady Whistledown, and I canโt believe that you do, either.โ
โProbably not,โ Penelope allowed. She knew that her secret would be better protected if she claimed to believe Cressidaโs story, but anyone who
knew her would have found that so out of character that it would have been quite suspicious indeed.
โCressida just wanted the money,โ Eloise continued disdainfully. โOr maybe the notoriety. Probably both.โ
Penelope watched her nemesis, holding court on the other side of the room. Her regular crowd of cronies milled about, but they were joined by new people, as well, most likely curious about the Whistledown gossip.
โWell, sheโs succeeded with the notoriety, at least.โ
Eloise nodded her agreement. โI cannot even imagine why she was invited. There is certainly no love lost between the two of you, and none of us like her.โ
โColin insisted upon it.โ
Eloise turned to her with gaping jaw. โWhy?โ
Penelope suspected that the main reason was Cressidaโs recent claim to be Lady Whistledown; most of theย tonย wasnโt sure whether or not she was lying, but no one was willing to deny her an invitation to an event, just in
case she really was telling the truth.
And Colin and Penelope shouldnโt have had any reason to know for certain otherwise.
But Penelope couldnโt reveal this to Eloise, so she told her the rest of the story, which was still the truth. โYour mother didnโt want to cause any gossip by cutting her, and Colin also saidโฆโ
She blushed. It was really too sweet. โWhat?โ Eloise demanded.
Penelope couldnโt speak without smiling. โHe said he wanted Cressida to be forced to watch me in my triumph.โ
โOh. My. Word.โ Eloise looked as if she might need to sit down. โMy brother is in love.โ
Penelopeโs blush turned a furious red.
โHe is,โย Eloise exclaimed. โHe must be. Oh, you must tell me. Has he said so?โ
There was something both wonderful and horrible in listening to Eloise gush. On the one hand, it was always lovely to share lifeโs most perfect
moments with oneโs best friend, and Eloiseโs joy and excitement were certainly contagious.
But on the other hand, they werenโt necessarily warranted, because Colin didnโt love her. Or at least he hadnโt said so.
But he acted like he did! Penelope clung to that thought, trying to focus on that, rather than the fact that heโd never said the words.
Actions spoke louder than words, didnโt they? And his actions made her feel like a princess. โMiss Featherington! Miss Featherington!โ
Penelope looked to her left and beamed. That voice could belong to no one other than Lady Danbury.
โMiss Featherington,โ Lady D said, poking her cane through the crowd until she was standing right in front of Penelope and Eloise.
โLady Danbury, how nice to see you.โ
โHeh heh heh.โ Lady Danburyโs wrinkled face became almost young again from the force of her smile. โItโs always nice to see me, regardless of what anyone else says. Andย you,ย you little devil. Look what you did.โ
โIsnโt it theย best?โ Eloise asked.
Penelope looked to her closest friend. For all her mixed emotions,
Eloise was truly, honestly, and forever would be thrilled for her. Suddenly it didnโt matter that they were standing in the middle of a crowded ballroom, with everyone staring at her as if she were some sort of specimen on a biology plate. She turned and gave Eloise a fierce hug, whispering, โI do
love you,โ in her ear.
โI know you do,โ Eloise whispered back.
Lady Danbury banged her caneโloudlyโon the floor. โIโm still standing here, ladies!โ
โOh, sorry,โ Penelope said sheepishly.
โItโs all right,โ Lady D said, with an uncharacteristic level of indulgence. โItโs rather nice to see two girls whoโd rather embrace than stab each other in the back, if you must know.โ
โThank you for coming over to congratulate me,โ Penelope said.
โI wouldnโt have missed this for the world,โ Lady Danbury said. โHeh heh heh. All these fools, trying to figure out what you did to get him to marry you, when all you really did was be yourself.โ
Penelopeโs lips parted, and tears pricked her eyes. โWhy, Lady Danbury, thatโs just about the nicestโโ
โNo, no,โ Lady D interrupted loudly, โnone of that. I havenโt the time nor the inclination for sentiment.โ
But Penelope noticed that sheโd pulled out her handkerchief and was discreetly dabbing her eyes.
โAh, Lady Danbury,โ Colin said, returning to the group and sliding his arm possessively through Penelopeโs. โGood to see you.โ
โMr. Bridgerton,โ she said in curt greeting. โJust came over to congratulate your bride.โ
โAh, but I am surely the one who deserves the congratulations.โ
โHmmmph. Truer words, and all that,โ Lady D said. โI think you might be right. Sheโs more of a prize than anyone realizes.โ
โI realize,โ he said, his voice so low and deadly serious that Penelope thought she might faint from the thrill of it.
โAnd if youโll excuse us,โ Colin continued smoothly, โI must take my fiancรฉe over to meet my brotherโโ
โIโve met your brother,โ Penelope interrupted.
โConsider it tradition,โ he said. โWe need to officially welcome you to the family.โ
โOh.โ She felt rather warm inside at the thought of becoming a Bridgerton. โHow lovely.โ
โAs I was saying,โ Colin said, โAnthony would like to make a toast, and then I must lead Penelope in a waltz.โ
โVery romantic,โ Lady Danbury said approvingly. โYes, well, I am a romantic sort,โ Colin said airily. Eloise let out a loud snort.
He turned to her with one arrogantly arched brow. โI am.โ โFor Penelopeโs sake,โ she retorted, โI certainly hope so.โ
โAre they always like this?โ Lady Danbury asked Penelope. โMost of the time.โ
Lady D nodded. โThatโs a good thing. My children rarely even speak to one another. Not out of any ill will, of course. They just have nothing in common. Sad, really.โ
Colin tightened his hand on Penelopeโs arm. โWe really must be going.โ
โOf course,โ she murmured, but as she turned to walk toward Anthony, whom she could see across the room, standing near the small orchestra, she heard a loud and sudden commotion at the door.
โAttention! Attention!โ
The blood drained from her face in under a second. โOh, no,โ she heard herself whisper. This wasnโt supposed to happen. Not tonight, anyway.
โAttention!โ
Monday,ย her mind screamed. Sheโd told her printer Monday. At the Mottram ball.
โWhat is going on?โ Lady Danbury demanded.
Ten young boys were racing into the room, nothing more than urchins, really, holding sheaves of paper, tossing them about like large rectangles of confetti.
โLady Whistledownโs final column!โ they all yelled. โRead it now!
Read the truth.โ