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Chapter no 16

Romancing Mister Bridgerton (Bridgertons, #4)

As Colin liked to walk, and in fact frequently did so to clear his mind, it was no surprise that he spent much of the next day traversing Bloomsburyโ€ฆand Fitzroviaโ€ฆand Maryleboneโ€ฆand in fact several other London neighborhoods, until he looked up and realized that he was

standing in the heart of Mayfair, in Grosvenor Square, to be precise, outside of Hastings House, town home of the Dukes of Hastings, the latest of whom happened to be married to his sister Daphne.

It had been a while since theyโ€™d had a conversation, anything above the usual family chitchat, that was. Of all his siblings, Daphne was the closest in age to him, and theyโ€™d always shared a rather special bond, even though they didnโ€™t see each other as much as they used to, what with Colinโ€™s frequent travels and Daphneโ€™s busy family life.

Hastings House was one of those enormous mansions that one could find scattered throughout Mayfair and St. Jamesโ€™s. Large and square and constructed of elegant Portland stone, it was thoroughly imposing in its ducal splendor.

Which made it all the more amusing, Colin thought with a wry grin, that his sister was the current duchess. He couldnโ€™t imagine anyone less haughty or imposing. In fact, Daphne had had difficulty finding a husband when sheโ€™d been out on the marriage mart, precisely because sheย wasย so friendly and easy to be with. Gentlemen had tended to think of her as their friend and not as a prospective bride.

But all that had changed when sheโ€™d met Simon Bassett, Duke of Hastings, and now she was a respectable society matron with four children, aged ten, nine, eight, and seven. It still sometimes seemed odd to Colin that his sister was a mother, of all things, while he still lived the free and unfettered life of a bachelor. With only one year between them, he and

Daphne had always passed through the various stages of life together. Even when sheโ€™d married, things hadnโ€™t seemed so very different; she and Simon attended the same parties he did and had many of the same interests and pursuits.

But then sheโ€™d started reproducing, and while Colin was always delighted to welcome a new niece or nephew into his life, each arrival had brought home the fact that Daphne had moved on in a way he had not.

But, he thought, smiling as Penelopeโ€™s face drifted through his mind, he supposed all that would soon change.

Children. It was a rather nice thought, actually.

He hadnโ€™t consciously meant to visit Daphne, but now that he was here, he figured he might as well stop by and say hello, so he marched up the

steps and gave the big brass knocker a sturdy clanking. Jeffries, the butler, opened the door almost immediately.

โ€œMr. Bridgerton,โ€ he said. โ€œYour sister was not expecting you.โ€ โ€œNo, I decided to surprise her. Is she at home?โ€

โ€œI shall see,โ€ the butler said with a nod, even though they both knew that Daphne would never refuse to see a member of her family.

Colin waited in the drawing room while Jeffries informed Daphne of his presence, wandering idly about, feeling too restless to sit or even stand in

one place. After a few minutes, Daphne appeared in the doorway, looking slightly disheveled but happy as always.

And why shouldnโ€™t she be? Colin wondered. All sheโ€™d ever wanted in life was to be a wife and mother, and it seemed that reality had more than

surpassed her dreams.

โ€œHello there, sister,โ€ he said with a sloppy smile as he crossed the room to give her a quick hug. โ€œYouโ€™ve gotโ€ฆโ€ He motioned to his shoulder.

She looked down at her own shoulder, then smiled sheepishly as she saw the large dark gray smudge on the pale pink fabric of her dress.

โ€œCharcoal,โ€ she explained ruefully. โ€œIโ€™ve been trying to teach Caroline to draw.โ€

โ€œYou?โ€ Colin asked doubtfully.

โ€œI know, I know,โ€ she said. โ€œShe really couldnโ€™t have picked a worse tutor, but she only decided yesterday that she loves art, so Iโ€™m all sheโ€™s got on such short notice.โ€

โ€œYou should pack her off to see Benedict,โ€ Colin suggested. โ€œIโ€™m sure heโ€™d be happy to give her a lesson or two.โ€

โ€œThe thought had already crossed my mind, but Iโ€™m sure sheโ€™ll have moved on to some other pursuit by the time I can make the arrangements.โ€ She motioned to a sofa. โ€œSit. You look rather like a caged cat over there, pacing as you are.โ€

He sat, even though he felt uncommonly fidgety.

โ€œAnd before you ask,โ€ Daphne said, โ€œI already told Jeffries to see to food. Will sandwiches be enough?โ€

โ€œCould you hear my stomach grumbling from across the room?โ€ โ€œFrom across town, Iโ€™m afraid.โ€ She laughed. โ€œDid you know that

whenever it thunders, David says that itโ€™s your stomach?โ€

โ€œOh, good God,โ€ Colin muttered, but he was chuckling all the while.

His nephew was a rather clever little fellow.

Daphne smiled broadly as she settled down against the sofa cushions, folding her hands elegantly in her lap. โ€œWhat brings you by, Colin? Not that

you need a reason, of course. Itโ€™s always lovely to see you.โ€ He shrugged. โ€œJust passing by.โ€

โ€œDid you visit Anthony and Kate?โ€ she asked. Bridgerton House, where their eldest brother lived with his family, was just across the square from

Hastings House. โ€œBenedict and Sophie are already there with the children, helping to prepare for your engagement ball tonight.โ€

He shook his head. โ€œNo, youโ€™re my chosen victim, Iโ€™m afraid.โ€

She smiled again, but this time it was a softer expression, tempered by a fair dose of curiosity. โ€œIs something wrong?โ€

โ€œNo, of course not,โ€ he said quickly. โ€œWhy would you ask that?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know.โ€ She cocked her head to the side. โ€œYou seem odd, thatโ€™s all.โ€

โ€œJust tired.โ€

She nodded knowingly. โ€œWedding plans, Iโ€™m sure.โ€

โ€œYes,โ€ he said, jumping on the excuse, although for the life of him, he wasnโ€™t even sure what it was he was trying to hide from her.

โ€œWell, remember that whatever youโ€™re going through,โ€ she said with a peevish twist to her lips, โ€œitโ€™s a thousand times worse for Penelope. Itโ€™s

always worse for women. Trust me.โ€

โ€œFor weddings or for everything?โ€ he asked mildly.

โ€œEverything,โ€ she said promptly. โ€œI know you men think youโ€™re actually in charge, butโ€”โ€

โ€œI wouldnโ€™t dream of thinking weโ€™re actually in charge,โ€ Colin said, and not entirely sarcastically.

Her face pinched into a peevish expression. โ€œWomen have far more to do than men.ย Especiallyย with weddings. With all the fittings Iโ€™m sure

Penelope has had for her wedding gown, she probably feels like a pincushion.โ€

โ€œI suggested eloping,โ€ Colin said conversationally, โ€œand I think she rather hoped I was serious.โ€

Daphne chuckled. โ€œIโ€™m so glad youโ€™re marrying her, Colin.โ€

He nodded, not planning to say anything, and then somehow, he was saying her name. โ€œDaffโ€”โ€

โ€œYes?โ€

He opened his mouth, and thenโ€”โ€œNever mind.โ€

โ€œOh, no, you donโ€™t,โ€ she said. โ€œNow you really have my curiosity piqued.โ€

He drummed his fingers against the sofa. โ€œDo you suppose the food might arrive soon?โ€

โ€œAre you even hungry or are you merely trying to change the subject?โ€ โ€œIโ€™m always hungry.โ€

She was silent for several seconds. โ€œColin,โ€ she finally asked, her voice soft and carefully gentle, โ€œwhat were you going to say?โ€

He jumped to his feet, too restless to remain still, and began to pace. He stopped, turned to her, looked at her concerned face. โ€œItโ€™s nothing,โ€ he started to say, except it wasnโ€™t nothing, andโ€”

โ€œHow does one know?โ€ he blurted out, not even aware that he hadnโ€™t completed his question until she replied, โ€œHow does one know what?โ€

He stopped in front of the window. It looked like it might rain. Heโ€™d

have to borrow a carriage from Daphne unless he wanted to get soaked on

the long walk home. Yet, he didnโ€™t know why he was even thinking about precipitation, because what he really wanted to know wasโ€”

โ€œHow does one knowย what,ย Colin?โ€ Daphne repeated.

He turned around and just let the words break free. โ€œHow do you know if itโ€™s love?โ€

For a moment she just stared at him, her large brown eyes wide with surprise, her lips parted and utterly still.

โ€œForget I asked,โ€ he muttered.

โ€œNo!โ€ she exclaimed, jumping to her feet. โ€œIโ€™mย gladย you asked. Very glad. Iโ€™m justโ€ฆsurprised, I must say.โ€

He closed his eyes, thoroughly disgusted with himself. โ€œI canโ€™t believe I just asked you that.โ€

โ€œNo, Colin, donโ€™t be silly. Itโ€™s really ratherโ€ฆsweet that you asked. And I canโ€™t even begin to tell you how flattered I am that you would come to me whenโ€”โ€

โ€œDaphneโ€ฆโ€ he said warningly. She had a way of wandering off the topic, and he really wasnโ€™t in the right frame of mind to follow her errant thoughts.

Impulsively, she reached out and hugged him; then, her hands still on his shoulders, she said, โ€œI donโ€™t know.โ€

โ€œI beg your pardon?โ€

She gave her head a little shake. โ€œI donโ€™t know how you know itโ€™s love.

I think itโ€™s different for everyone.โ€ โ€œHow did you know?โ€

She chewed on her lower lip for several seconds before replying, โ€œI donโ€™t know.โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€

She shrugged helplessly. โ€œI donโ€™t remember. Itโ€™s been so long. I justโ€ฆ

knew.โ€

โ€œSo what youโ€™re saying,โ€ he said, leaning against the windowsill and crossing his arms, โ€œis that if one doesnโ€™t know oneโ€™s in love, then one probably isnโ€™t.โ€

โ€œYes,โ€ she said firmly. โ€œNo! No, thatโ€™s not what I mean at all.โ€ โ€œThen what do you mean?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know,โ€ she said weakly.

He stared at her. โ€œAnd how long have you been married?โ€ he muttered. โ€œColin, donโ€™t tease. Iโ€™m trying to be helpful.โ€

โ€œAnd I appreciate the attempt, but truly, Daphne, youโ€”โ€

โ€œI know, I know,โ€ she interrupted. โ€œIโ€™m useless. But listen to me. Do you like Penelope?โ€ Then she gasped in horror. โ€œWe are talking about Penelope, arenโ€™t we?โ€

โ€œOf course we are,โ€ he snapped.

She let out a relieved sigh. โ€œGood, because if we werenโ€™t, then I can assure you I would have had no advice whatsoever.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ll go,โ€ he said abruptly.

โ€œNo, donโ€™t,โ€ she pleaded, placing her hand on his arm. โ€œStay, Colin, please.โ€

He looked at her, sighing, feeling defeated. โ€œI feel like an ass.โ€

โ€œColin,โ€ she said, guiding him to the sofa and pushing him down until he sat, โ€œlisten to me. Love grows and changes every day. And it isnโ€™t like

some thunderbolt from the sky, instantly transforming you into a different man. I know Benedict says it was that way for him, and thatโ€™s just lovely, but you know, Benedict isย notย normal.โ€

Colin very much wanted to take that bait, but he just couldnโ€™t summon the energy.

โ€œIt wasnโ€™t like that for me,โ€ Daphne said, โ€œand I donโ€™t think it was like that for Simon, although truthfully, I donโ€™t think Iโ€™ve ever asked.โ€

โ€œYou should.โ€

She paused while her mouth was forming a word, leaving her looking like a surprised bird. โ€œWhy?โ€

He shrugged. โ€œSo you can tell me.โ€

โ€œWhat, do you think itโ€™s different for men?โ€ โ€œEverything else is.โ€

She grimaced. โ€œIโ€™m beginning to develop a fair dose of pity for Penelope.โ€

โ€œOh, absolutely you should,โ€ he agreed. โ€œIโ€™ll make a dreadful husband, to be sure.โ€

โ€œYou will not,โ€ she said, batting his arm. โ€œWhy on earth would you say that? You would never be unfaithful to her.โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ he agreed. He was quiet for a moment, and when he finally spoke again, his voice was soft. โ€œBut I might not love her the way she deserves.โ€

โ€œBut youย might.โ€ She threw up her hands in a gesture of exasperation. โ€œFor heavenโ€™s sake, Colin, just the fact that youโ€™re sitting here asking yourย sisterย about love probably means youโ€™re more than halfway there.โ€

โ€œDo you think?โ€

โ€œIf I didnโ€™tย thinkย so,โ€ she said, โ€œI wouldnโ€™t haveย saidย so.โ€ She sighed. โ€œStop thinking so hard, Colin. Youโ€™ll find marriage a lot easier if you simply allow it to be.โ€

He eyed her suspiciously. โ€œWhen did you grow so philosophical?โ€ โ€œWhen you came by to see me and forced the issue,โ€ she said promptly.

โ€œYouโ€™re marrying the right person. Stop worrying so much.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m not worrying,โ€ he said automatically, but of course heย wasย worrying, so he didnโ€™t even bother to defend himself when Daphne shot him an extremely sarcastic look. But it wasnโ€™t as if he were worrying whether Penelope was the right woman. He was certain of that.

And he wasnโ€™t worried about whether his marriage would be a good one. He was certain of that, as well.

No, he was worrying about stupid things. About whether or not he loved her, not because it would be the end of the world if he did (or the end of the world if he didnโ€™t), but because he found it extremely unsettling not to

know exactly what it was he was feeling. โ€œColin?โ€

He looked over at his sister, who was regarding him with a rather bemused expression. He stood, intending to leave before he embarrassed himself beyond repair, then leaned down and kissed her cheek. โ€œThank you,โ€ he said.

She narrowed her eyes. โ€œI canโ€™t tell if youโ€™re serious or are teasing me for being an utter lack of help.โ€

โ€œYouย wereย an utter lack of help,โ€ he said, โ€œbut itโ€™s an honest thank-you, nonetheless.โ€

โ€œPoints for effort?โ€ โ€œSomething like that.โ€

โ€œAre you going over to Bridgerton House now?โ€ she asked. โ€œWhy, so I may embarrass myself with Anthony next?โ€ โ€œOr Benedict,โ€ she said. โ€œHeโ€™s there, too.โ€

The thing about large families was, there was never a lack of opportunity to make a fool of oneself with a sibling. โ€œNo,โ€ he said with a small, wry smile, โ€œI think Iโ€™ll walk home.โ€

โ€œWalk?โ€ she echoed, gaping.

He squinted toward the window. โ€œDo you think it might rain?โ€ โ€œTake my carriage, Colin,โ€ she insisted, โ€œand please wait for the

sandwiches. There is sure to be a mountain of them, and if you leave before they arrive, I know Iโ€™ll eat half, and then Iโ€™ll hate myself for the rest of the day.โ€

He nodded and sat back down, and was glad he did. Heโ€™d always been partial to smoked salmon. In fact, he took a plate with him in the carriage, staring out the window the whole way home at the pouring rain.

When the Bridgertons threw a party, they did it right.

And when the Bridgertons threw an engagement ballโ€ฆwell, had Lady Whistledown still been writing, it would have taken at least three columns to chronicle the event.

Even this engagement ball, thrown together at the last minute (due to

the fact that neither Lady Bridgerton nor Mrs. Featherington were willing to allow their children the possibility of changing their minds during a long engagement), easily qualified asย theย party of the season.

Although part of that, Penelope thought wryly, had little to do with the party itself and everything to do with the continued speculation over why on earth Colin Bridgerton would choose a nobody like Penelope Featherington to be his wife. It hadnโ€™t even been this bad when Anthony

Bridgerton had married Kate Sheffield, who, like Penelope, had never been considered a diamond of the first water. But at least Kate hadnโ€™t beenย old.

Penelope couldnโ€™t even begin to count the number of times sheโ€™d heard the wordย spinsterย whispered behind her back during the past few days.

But while the gossip was a bit tedious, it didnโ€™t really bother her,

because she was still floating along on the cloud of her own bliss. A woman couldnโ€™t spend her entire adult life in love with one man and then not be almost stupid with happiness after he asked her to marry him.

Even if she couldnโ€™t quite figure out how it had all happened. Itย hadย happened. That was all that mattered.

And Colin was everything anyone could dream of in a fiancรฉ. He stuck to her side like glue the entire evening, and Penelope didnโ€™t even think he was doing it to protect her from gossip. In all truth, he seemed rather

oblivious to the talk.

It was almost as ifโ€ฆPenelope smiled dreamily. It was almost as if Colin were remaining by her side because he wanted to be there.

โ€œDid you see Cressida Twombley?โ€ Eloise whispered in her ear while Colin was off dancing with his mother. โ€œSheโ€™s green with envy.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s just her dress,โ€ Penelope said with an impressively straight face.

Eloise laughed. โ€œOh, I wish Lady Whistledown were writing. She wouldย skewerย her.โ€

โ€œI think Lady Whistledown is supposed toย beย her,โ€ Penelope said carefully.

โ€œOh, pish and tosh. I donโ€™t believe for one moment that Cressida is Lady Whistledown, and I canโ€™t believe that you do, either.โ€

โ€œProbably not,โ€ Penelope allowed. She knew that her secret would be better protected if she claimed to believe Cressidaโ€™s story, but anyone who

knew her would have found that so out of character that it would have been quite suspicious indeed.

โ€œCressida just wanted the money,โ€ Eloise continued disdainfully. โ€œOr maybe the notoriety. Probably both.โ€

Penelope watched her nemesis, holding court on the other side of the room. Her regular crowd of cronies milled about, but they were joined by new people, as well, most likely curious about the Whistledown gossip.

โ€œWell, sheโ€™s succeeded with the notoriety, at least.โ€

Eloise nodded her agreement. โ€œI cannot even imagine why she was invited. There is certainly no love lost between the two of you, and none of us like her.โ€

โ€œColin insisted upon it.โ€

Eloise turned to her with gaping jaw. โ€œWhy?โ€

Penelope suspected that the main reason was Cressidaโ€™s recent claim to be Lady Whistledown; most of theย tonย wasnโ€™t sure whether or not she was lying, but no one was willing to deny her an invitation to an event, just in

case she really was telling the truth.

And Colin and Penelope shouldnโ€™t have had any reason to know for certain otherwise.

But Penelope couldnโ€™t reveal this to Eloise, so she told her the rest of the story, which was still the truth. โ€œYour mother didnโ€™t want to cause any gossip by cutting her, and Colin also saidโ€ฆโ€

She blushed. It was really too sweet. โ€œWhat?โ€ Eloise demanded.

Penelope couldnโ€™t speak without smiling. โ€œHe said he wanted Cressida to be forced to watch me in my triumph.โ€

โ€œOh. My. Word.โ€ Eloise looked as if she might need to sit down. โ€œMy brother is in love.โ€

Penelopeโ€™s blush turned a furious red.

โ€œHe is,โ€ย Eloise exclaimed. โ€œHe must be. Oh, you must tell me. Has he said so?โ€

There was something both wonderful and horrible in listening to Eloise gush. On the one hand, it was always lovely to share lifeโ€™s most perfect

moments with oneโ€™s best friend, and Eloiseโ€™s joy and excitement were certainly contagious.

But on the other hand, they werenโ€™t necessarily warranted, because Colin didnโ€™t love her. Or at least he hadnโ€™t said so.

But he acted like he did! Penelope clung to that thought, trying to focus on that, rather than the fact that heโ€™d never said the words.

Actions spoke louder than words, didnโ€™t they? And his actions made her feel like a princess. โ€œMiss Featherington! Miss Featherington!โ€

Penelope looked to her left and beamed. That voice could belong to no one other than Lady Danbury.

โ€œMiss Featherington,โ€ Lady D said, poking her cane through the crowd until she was standing right in front of Penelope and Eloise.

โ€œLady Danbury, how nice to see you.โ€

โ€œHeh heh heh.โ€ Lady Danburyโ€™s wrinkled face became almost young again from the force of her smile. โ€œItโ€™s always nice to see me, regardless of what anyone else says. Andย you,ย you little devil. Look what you did.โ€

โ€œIsnโ€™t it theย best?โ€ Eloise asked.

Penelope looked to her closest friend. For all her mixed emotions,

Eloise was truly, honestly, and forever would be thrilled for her. Suddenly it didnโ€™t matter that they were standing in the middle of a crowded ballroom, with everyone staring at her as if she were some sort of specimen on a biology plate. She turned and gave Eloise a fierce hug, whispering, โ€œI do

love you,โ€ in her ear.

โ€œI know you do,โ€ Eloise whispered back.

Lady Danbury banged her caneโ€”loudlyโ€”on the floor. โ€œIโ€™m still standing here, ladies!โ€

โ€œOh, sorry,โ€ Penelope said sheepishly.

โ€œItโ€™s all right,โ€ Lady D said, with an uncharacteristic level of indulgence. โ€œItโ€™s rather nice to see two girls whoโ€™d rather embrace than stab each other in the back, if you must know.โ€

โ€œThank you for coming over to congratulate me,โ€ Penelope said.

โ€œI wouldnโ€™t have missed this for the world,โ€ Lady Danbury said. โ€œHeh heh heh. All these fools, trying to figure out what you did to get him to marry you, when all you really did was be yourself.โ€

Penelopeโ€™s lips parted, and tears pricked her eyes. โ€œWhy, Lady Danbury, thatโ€™s just about the nicestโ€”โ€

โ€œNo, no,โ€ Lady D interrupted loudly, โ€œnone of that. I havenโ€™t the time nor the inclination for sentiment.โ€

But Penelope noticed that sheโ€™d pulled out her handkerchief and was discreetly dabbing her eyes.

โ€œAh, Lady Danbury,โ€ Colin said, returning to the group and sliding his arm possessively through Penelopeโ€™s. โ€œGood to see you.โ€

โ€œMr. Bridgerton,โ€ she said in curt greeting. โ€œJust came over to congratulate your bride.โ€

โ€œAh, but I am surely the one who deserves the congratulations.โ€

โ€œHmmmph. Truer words, and all that,โ€ Lady D said. โ€œI think you might be right. Sheโ€™s more of a prize than anyone realizes.โ€

โ€œI realize,โ€ he said, his voice so low and deadly serious that Penelope thought she might faint from the thrill of it.

โ€œAnd if youโ€™ll excuse us,โ€ Colin continued smoothly, โ€œI must take my fiancรฉe over to meet my brotherโ€”โ€

โ€œIโ€™ve met your brother,โ€ Penelope interrupted.

โ€œConsider it tradition,โ€ he said. โ€œWe need to officially welcome you to the family.โ€

โ€œOh.โ€ She felt rather warm inside at the thought of becoming a Bridgerton. โ€œHow lovely.โ€

โ€œAs I was saying,โ€ Colin said, โ€œAnthony would like to make a toast, and then I must lead Penelope in a waltz.โ€

โ€œVery romantic,โ€ Lady Danbury said approvingly. โ€œYes, well, I am a romantic sort,โ€ Colin said airily. Eloise let out a loud snort.

He turned to her with one arrogantly arched brow. โ€œI am.โ€ โ€œFor Penelopeโ€™s sake,โ€ she retorted, โ€œI certainly hope so.โ€

โ€œAre they always like this?โ€ Lady Danbury asked Penelope. โ€œMost of the time.โ€

Lady D nodded. โ€œThatโ€™s a good thing. My children rarely even speak to one another. Not out of any ill will, of course. They just have nothing in common. Sad, really.โ€

Colin tightened his hand on Penelopeโ€™s arm. โ€œWe really must be going.โ€

โ€œOf course,โ€ she murmured, but as she turned to walk toward Anthony, whom she could see across the room, standing near the small orchestra, she heard a loud and sudden commotion at the door.

โ€œAttention! Attention!โ€

The blood drained from her face in under a second. โ€œOh, no,โ€ she heard herself whisper. This wasnโ€™t supposed to happen. Not tonight, anyway.

โ€œAttention!โ€

Monday,ย her mind screamed. Sheโ€™d told her printer Monday. At the Mottram ball.

โ€œWhat is going on?โ€ Lady Danbury demanded.

Ten young boys were racing into the room, nothing more than urchins, really, holding sheaves of paper, tossing them about like large rectangles of confetti.

โ€œLady Whistledownโ€™s final column!โ€ they all yelled. โ€œRead it now!

Read the truth.โ€

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